The Box... WTF? Spoilers... like it matters

[JTPencils]

Ok, after a dearth of anything at the movies that I'd care to see... I must admit I was intrigued by the commercials for the new Diaz, Langella film "The Box".

I wish I had left it at that. The commercial was the best thing this absurd turd fest had going for it.

The film couldn't decide if it was to be a sci-fi flick, a horror movie, a thriller, or just absurdist blather.

Forgive me, but I don't know how to hide spoilers... but I'll just say, I won't give the film away, merely my thoughts about certain points.

I won't go into the plot (what there was of it), and just say that after the film, I read up on it a little further, and found it was based on a short story that was published way back in the 70's in Playboy magazine, by a writer who also penned a few Twilight Zone episodes. Even with TZ, I remember a few that left me asking "huh?" but not to this level.

In a couple of disjointed scenes that made no logical sense whatsoever, I found myself wanting to walk out of this mess... something I would have even considered if it was an in flight film from here to Taiwan! But since I was with family, I figured the best I could do was tough it out and get to the end of it.

They should have called it "The Vacuum" because it sucked, or "The 4 day old Fish" because it stunk...

It had a good enough premise in it's inception... a nice couple that were having some financial issues, get's offered a million bucks if they just press a button on a box. The consequence to them? Someone they don't know get's killed. How I wish they had killed the projectionist, and saved us all 2 hours of what followed.

The movie is set in Virginia, 1976... as if that's an important factor, yet there's really no rhyme or reason as to why. The mention of Mars landings and NASA involvement is just one of a few hundred red herrings tossed out there for you to ponder (don't bother, it doesn't make a whit of difference if they had said it was 4024 either!). As for "atmosphere" they hardly had anyone smoking (and let's face it... back in '76, nearly everyone did... the writers or director's should have caught an episode of Mad Men to get a friggin' clue)... there's apparent zombies or drones in the movie... why? No one explains. Including one scene of a "Santa" in the middle of the road ringing his bell, which is used to set up what I can only guess was supposed to be a scary moment. Personally, I think they had a spare Santa suit in the props trailer, and decided after a few good tokes on some incredible hash, they slurred "We can use that!". Someone came up with some bucks for a scene with 3 CGI "water phone booths" that are used to transport people... but they end up stuck in the same water "box" afterwards, and it's a total mess when they come out of it. (Get the mops folks!)

Characters come and go without much consequence, or explanation, other then that Langella's got "employees" everywhere and is watching the couple with the decision to make.

Langella's character (though striking in it's inception, with his face half blown off... though to be honest, it wasn't as impacting as it was done better in Dark Knight with Two Face) is later said to have "died, then came back to life, with his body regenerating at 40 times normal!". Um... then why didn't his face heal fully?

Diaz' character is given a malforming injury as well... which is quickly dealt with in the beginning of the film... but referred to later as her reason for not being reviled by Langella's meat loaf like kisser. "I loved you... I could feel your pain.." Oh please. This was shoe horned in so badly, I swear they did it as part of a rewrite the producers demanded... to justify paying these two big checks (no doubt) for a crap film.

Again... things like this... and SO much more that I just can't begin to go into... is what made me sit there and continue to say "it's gotta get better... the plot has to start to thicken"... and it just never did.

You want to spend money on a film? This isn't it... hell it's not even worth picking up in the low budget box at WalMart. Go see Christmas Carol instead... even though you know the story, you will at least feel somewhat better when you leave the dark room. Instead of asking yourself "what the hell was that all about?"

[PatrickG]

If you liked the premise, you'd probably like the original story.

The movie was directed by Richard Kelly who did Donnie Darko and Southland Tales and his hallmark seems to be doing David Lynch-style movies only younger, more cynical, nerdier and steeped in conspiracy theories. If you ever saw a Lynch film and thought, "I wish this was a bit more inscrutable and less mature", Kelly's your guy. I happen to fit into his target demo, I think.

But you really have to go into his movies desperately seeking a less accessible David Lynch film. As in, "I want a mess of conspiracy theories, some of which are not presented in the actual film, to tie together into this puzzle with half the pieces missing that I'm asked to sort out."

A Richard Kelly film is the type of movie that's not supposed to make sense on its own but be visually engaging and have catchy dialogue while refusing to engage you on any other level and then send you into months of obsessive Google searches about 20 year old Art Bell interviews.

Oh... And there's a fairly good chance that the movie is basically a companion to a website, a comic book or some other tie-in which is where all the information is, a kind of two hour trailer for a puzzle contained somewhere outside the film itself.

[jamesfreeman]

The critics really savaged this film, and it made like two bucks on it's opening days. It's a shame, because after Southland Tales, Kelly could've used a hit.

[mcolford]

Sorry you didn't like it. I thought it was very effective on many levels. Kelly did a great job paying homage to the 70's thriller, and the performances were very strong. Plus, the Boston Public Library (where I work) was used as a stand-in for the Richmond Public Library in the film, and that was pretty damn cool.

[Tobias March]

I will see it despite the disappointments of the Donnie director's cut and Southland Tales.

My expectations have been suitably lowered.

[LewisH]

probably fits how I would respond in the situation.

http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20091104.html

[Sean Walsh]

Meh.

Any movie Langella does where he's not playing Skeletor is just a waste of time.

Why don't more people know this?




Kidding. He's a good actor and presumably Frost/Nixon was good......BUT DAMMIT MAN, PLAY SKELETOR AGAIN!!!! COME ON! FIND A WAY, DAMN YOU!!!

[Linkara]

Eh, even if it wasn't Richard "having cars humping is funny!" Kelly, I don't see the premise working any more beyond the Twilight Zone episode. Half an hour of discussion over the ramifications of it is all you can really hope for.

[Charles RB]

Originally Posted by Tobias March

the disappointments of the Donnie director's cut

I've still only seen the original cut - how bad is the director's?

[jamesfreeman]

Originally Posted by Charles RB

I've still only seen the original cut - how bad is the director's?

Very self-indulgent. A lot of needless extras added in, almost for the sake of "yay! Look how smart I am!"

[JTPencils]

Originally Posted by LewisH

probably fits how I would respond in the situation.

http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20091104.html

Trust me, as much as I personally LIKE Dunham and his work (being a fellow practitioner of the art of ventriloquism), your strip was far and away more entertaining in a few panels, then this whole film in it's entirety.

[Monty_Cristo]

maybe the should have re- re-adapted Nightmare at 20,000 feet instead; Lithgow and Shatner to cameo.