I've been mugged

[FeminineMystique]

No Larry...I'm not just trying to emulate the cool kids here on YABS (I laugh because I think the only other thing I can do is cry right now)

My girlfriend Claire and I were out in town, getting money from a cashpoint when someone came up to us, with a knife, demanding we hand over our money. No one else around and not a cop to be seen of course.

Luckily there was nothing IN my account right now and when he saw that he just ran for it. But right now that's cold comfort. I honestly felt, for one moment, that I was going to die. And all I could think of was that I'd never hold my Claire-Bear's hand again, or giggle at one of Bree's little Carthtoons or have cyber snuggles with my Jae-Jae. I'd never do anything I love ever again, I'd just be dead and gone.

I've been having some really horrible, vivid flashbacks to one of the worst moments of my life all day. And Claire's a mess with it, she hasn't been able to stop crying. She's had to go in to work because her boss has made it clear if she wants to keep her job she has to (Never mind she's in tears, oh no. God forbid he should treat her like she's a human being. Fucking asshole)

I don't want to turn this into a pity party. I don't want everyone to feeel they have to walk on egg shells for the next few days. Honestly, I want to be treated the same as ever, as I'm feeling about as okay as can be expected right now, I'm worryingly calm (Claire thinks I'm in shock. She's told me to keep speed dial ready if I need her, job be damned) I'm still feeling like my usual self.

But right now, on this thread, ANY good thoughts or, if you're of a spiritual bent, prayers would be appreciated. Outside of Claire and my roomie Eddy, you guys here on YABS are honestly some of the people I feel closest too. (More than my so called "Real friends" who haven't bothered to reply to any of my calls or texts since it happened)

I guess, selfish as it may be, I just need to feel I have a few hands to hold, even metaphorically. Right now, by myself in my appartment, I'm feeling very alone.

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

I'm sorry you had to go through this.

[FeminineMystique]

Thanks Beast *Hugs*

I guess it was only a matter of time. I live in a shitty part of Camden (Which is the best I can afford) I've been lucky not to have any problems till now outside of the occasional over-amorous drunk. Right now I'm just hating that I didn't DO something, anything. I'm strong, pretty fast and the little SOB looked like he was about 12 for christs sake. I could have had him on his ass in seconds.

But when the mugging happened I just froze up. I didn't talk, I didn't call for help, I just stood on the spot. I could have done something and I didn't.

[Night Swordsman]

Originally Posted by FeminineMystique

Thanks Beast *Hugs*

I guess it was only a matter of time. I live in a shitty part of Camden (Which is the best I can afford) I've been lucky not to have any problems till now outside of the occasional over-amorous drunk. Right now I'm just hating that I didn't DO something, anything. I'm strong, pretty fast and the little SOB looked like he was about 12 for christs sake. I could have had him on his ass in seconds.

But when the mugging happened I just froze up. I didn't talk, I didn't call for help, I just stood on the spot. I could have done something and I didn't.

*Hugs* I'm sorry hon.

You got a PM. Talk to me if you need me.

[Corrina]

You live in Camden, NJ?

Damn.

White light and hugs going out to you. That's an awful thing.

((((((((((((((((((((more hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

And, btw, who says you did something wrong by not fighting? You did handle it, you decided, quite rightly, that fighting over money is not worth the chance of injury. Especially when it's money you don't have anyway. But the blame where it belongs, on the asshole who tried to rob you. You did the right thing.

[Night Swordsman]

Originally Posted by Corrina

You live in Camden, NJ?

Damn.

White light and hugs going out to you. That's an awful thing.

((((((((((((((((((((more hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Camden, United Kingdom, Corrina.

[Corrina]

Originally Posted by Night Swordsman

Camden, United Kingdom, Corrina.

Ah.

Because Camden, NJ, is quite possibly the worst place in America to be. Not kidding.

[Bo Bo]

Damn! *hugs*

So sorry that you had to go through that! I'm with Corrina when she says you handled it as well as can be expected. Who knows what would've happened otherwise. You two are safe and intact and that's what's important!

You know you can always pm me if you feel like it. Good thoughts and prayers for you and Claire!

[FeminineMystique]

Originally Posted by Corrina

You live in Camden, NJ?

Damn.

White light and hugs going out to you. That's an awful thing.

((((((((((((((((((((more hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

And, btw, who says you did something wrong by not fighting? You did handle it, you decided, quite rightly, that fighting over money is not worth the chance of injury. Especially when it's money you don't have anyway. But the blame where it belongs, on the asshole who tried to rob you. You did the right thing.

I know you're right Corrina. Logically I know that but emotionally...

I'm going to come out and say something that I've confided in with some very close, and wonderful friends on the boards and hinted at more than once. I've been abused in the past. When I was fifteen I had to endure a year of sexual abuse at the hands of someone I trusted.

I made a promise to myself that I'd never go through anything close to that again, that I'd NEVER be a victim again. And today, it was like I was 15 again and, while I know it's stupid, I'm just angry with myself. I just wish I'd done something, ANYTHING. Claire talked him down, Claire put herself at risk to try and talk sense into the creep. If he'd done anything to hurt her...I honestly don't think I'd be able to live with myself.

[Stressfactor]

HUGGLES! So sorry this happened to you and I agree with Corrina -- the decision NOT to fight was probably the best one.

Here, just to cheer you up is a video of a cute kitten making squeeky mew sounds and climbing up a person holding a camera. http://www.youtube.com/user/iarecute...15/G429n-UR1og

Snuggle kittes (or you know acutal human beings are good too) and revel in the fact that fear will go away but you and your girlfriend are SAFE and you are TOGETHER and that's the important thing.

[FeminineMystique]

Thanks Stress :)

My own cats are sitting on me right now...their so empathic, whenever I'm ill or upset they jut know.

[Lester C.]

I'm really sorry that the both of you have been traumatized by this experience. I've never been though it, so I won't pretend to understand what its like. I just want to point out that it's over and that you will never see the bastard again. Since nothing was stolen and everyone okay this is something you will laugh at in the years to come.

Have you gone to the police? If you know what time the attack happened they might be able to pull surveillance tape or something and catch the bastard.

[FeminineMystique]

Originally Posted by Lester C.

I'm really sorry that the both of you have been traumatized by this experience. I've never been though it, so I won't pretend to understand what its like. I just want to point out that it's over and that you will never see the bastard again. Since nothing was stolen and everyone okay this is something you will laugh at in the years to come.

Have you gone to the police? If you know what time the attack happened they might be able to pull surveillance tape or something and catch the bastard.

Right now going over it again is the last thing we want to do. Especially as the guy had his face covered.

We're going to try and give a statement tomorrow. I'd do it tonight but I really think I need my Claire-Bear by my side.

And thanks Les. I know me, Bree and HS all tease you mercilessly but it IS (Mostly) just in fun. It was really sweet of you to say this *Hugs*

[the4thpip]

My brother and I got robbed at gunpoint (for small change) about a decade ago, so I know how you feel.

Hugs!

[Larry Dixon]

Hon, honestly, if I could be there right now I'd hug you both, talk you through it, teach you some aikido, bring you kebabs and play you some comedy. I might even tell you some of my OWN jokes, but since you need to feel BETTER, that might be at cross purposes. Angry dolphins? Cross porpoises. :)

I can tell you from my experience helping folks get through crises that we all get scared. When something very bad happens, we don't just get the impact of that one event, we get the sudden inrush of every bad thing that has happened to us as well.

We cope with awfulness to some degree day to day but when one huge thing happens, the walls that hold back our anger, despair, hate, horror and rage fall down and it all rushes in at once. Makes one feel like a weak fool because it seems like, in a way, we should be able to say, "Oh it was just a mugging," and shrug it off. But it isn't, emotionally. It's a mugging, plus every other violation and loss that we've felt, hitting at once.

Both of you please take my advice on this---the only way out is through it all, not by avoiding it. You won't heal by suppressing it. Feel what you feel, give it its due---but no more than it is due. Feel the hurt and then bit by bit pull together and move on. You aren't a coward for feeling fear, and you aren't a weakling for not being strong every minute. You can handle this, but superhuman abilities aren't called for; being human will do just fine. You can do this.