Two - an American manga

[Radical]

TWO

an American Manga idea by Timothy Shanahan

[The title of this series is a reference to the fact that there are two stories going on at once, one for children and one for adults. In fact, if this were a movie it would likely be rated PG-13 for the same reason movies used to be rated PG-13, before it got "trendy": because we couldn't decide which age group to target.]

PAGE 1

Panel 1: We are in an alleyway. A dark furred shape hides behind a garbage can. A tough gangster-looking guy is charging into the alleyway, armed with a gun and a flashlight.

TOUGH GUY: Where are you, you fuzzy bastard?

Panel 2: Tough Guy's POV. He shines the flashlight on a furry shape behind a garbage can.

Panel 3: Medium shot of Tough Guy, knocking aside the can, grinning triumphantly.

TOUGH GUY: A-ha!

Panel 4: Another POV shot. The flashlight beam falls on a raccoon.

TOUGH GUY: Shoot! It's a raccoon!

Panel 5: The small furry shape from the first panel is now on the roof of the building Tough Guy has his back to. (It will be revealed later that the creature can fly, which explains how it got there so fast.)

TOUGH GUY: Damn...how'm I gonna explain this to the boss?

FURRY SHAPE: Frrrm...

TITLE: TWO

BLURB: Writer: Timothy Shanahan

BLURB: Artist(s): [Artist of the "adults' story"/Artist of the "children's story"; the same guy if it's possible.]

(Note: The "adults' story" pages, which include this one, should be drawn in a dark or sharp-edged manner. The "children's story", which will begin on page 2, should be drawn in a gentler, more kid-friendly manner.)

PAGE 2

Panel 1: We are introduced to Akemi, the cute eight-year-old protagonist of the "children's story" part of TWO. She is on a playground at a school, hiding behind a tree in a game of hide-and-seek.

OFF-PANEL BOY: ...four, five, six...

Panel 2: Akemi looks up.

AKEMI: Hmm? What's that?

OFF-PANEL BOY: ...seven, eight...

Panel 3: Bird's-eye view of Akemi climbing the tree.

OFF-PANEL BOY: ...nine, ten. Ready or not, here I come!

Panel 4: Akemi has climbed up into the tree, and is looking into the branches.

AKEMI: Huh? What's this?

OFF-PANEL GIRL: Hey, no fair, Akemi! How're we supposed to see you up there?

Panel 5: We finally clearly see FURRRM, the creature from the first page. Whereas in the beginning the darkness and mystery may have made him/her seem foreboding and ominous, we now clearly see him/her as a cute Pokemon-like creature. Furrrm is a teddy bear-shaped creature with a kitten-like face. He/she is sleeping in the tree.

PAGE 3

Panel 1: We see Furrrm lying in a basket.

AKEMI: (off-panel) ...and that's how I found him, Mrs. Morisato. Is he sick or hurt or anything?

Panel 2: We are in a 3rd/4th grade homeroom. Several kids, including Akemi, and the teacher Mrs. Morisato are there. Mrs. Morisato is a fairly average-looking woman, mostly owing to her conservative dress. The aforementioned basket is on a table.

MRS. MORISATO: It's hard to tell...I don't even know what kind of creature I'm looking at.

BOY: Good question. It looks kind of like a bear.

GIRL: But it's got a face like a kitty.

Panel 3: ECU of Furrrm's eye opening.

Panel 4: Furrm sits bolt-upright in the basket, growling, fangs and claws bared.

FURRRM: FFFRRRRRMMM!!

MRS. MORISATO: (off-panel) Back away, children!

Panel 5: Furrm is in the center, looking around in confusion, not seeing any threat. All the children are standing away, some frightened, others just curious. Mrs. Morisato is standing close, looking more analytical than frightened.

MRS. MORISATO: ...It's okay. I think it's just frightened, or it would have attacked by now.

Panel 6: Close-up of Akemi looking thoughtful.

AKEMI: Maybe it's just hungry. I have some chicken in my lunchbox.

MRS. MORISATO: (off-panel) Good thinking, Akemi. While we're at it, let's get some water...

PAGE 4

Panel: Furrrm is munching on a chicken leg. There's a water bowl next to him/her, and he/she is sitting on some newspaper. There's a cute smile on his/her face as he/she eats. Akemi and Mrs. Morisato are speaking off-panel.

FURRRM: Frrrrrmm!

AKEMI: How about we call it "Furrrm"?

MRS. MORISATO: (chuckle) Well, barring any better ideas...

PAGE 5

[The art has gone back to the "adult" style.)

Panel 1: Interior shot of Akemi's lower-middle-class home. She's walked in through the kitchen door, holding Furrrm in her arms. The living room and dining area (or at least part of them) are also in-panel.

AKEMI: Hi, daddy! I'm home!

KEN HARADA: In here, honey.

Panel 2: Shot of the living room. KEN HARADA (Akemi's dad) is sitting in an easy chair with a drink. A radio with a police band is playing. Ken is wearing casual clothes that do not give away the fact that he's a cop. He's looking down at Akemi and Furrrm.

RADIO: ...we have an APB on a Kenji Yamato, last seen driving a white Ford Tippex on the 405 Freeway, squad in pursuit...

KEN HARADA: What's this?

AKEMI: I found this thing at school today. Can we keep him?

FURRRM: Frrrrrmm?

KEN HARADA: Let me see him, honey...

Panel 3: Ken's hands are gently stroking Furrrm. There is a dark rectangular patch on the back of Furrrm's neck. It looks like a series of regular lines with dark spots underneath.

Panel 4: Extreme close-up of Ken's wide surprised eye. He realizes...

KEN HARADA: (thought balloon) This looks like...a barcode? Like this thing is...a product?

Panel 5: Long shot of them. Akemi has a hopeful look on her face. Ken's looking thoughtful.

AKEMI: Can we keep him? I named him and everything! I'll feed him, bathe him, take him for walkies...

KEN HARADA: I'll think about it, Akemi. (Naturally, what Ken really means is that he'll try and trace down whoever or whatever made Furrrm.)

PAGE 6

Panel 1: Establishing ext. shot of the police station.

Panel 2: Est. shot of the briefing room. Ken is holding Furrrm and addressing the police.

KEN HARADA: Cute as this little guy is, it's obviously unnatural.

KEN HARADA: (cont.) I have reason to believe it is the result of genetic engineering, the ethics and legality of which are questionable. We need to find a way to trace it back where it came from.

POLICE CHIEF: Any way we can do that, Detective Harada?

Panel 3: Full shot of Ken Harada as he hands Furrrm to another officer.

KEN HARADA: It was found at the school my daughter goes to. I suggest we start our investigation in that general vicinity.

Panel 4: They're getting ready to leave.

POLICE CHIEF: The most likely suspect is the Han Co., a biogenetics research firm. It's several blocks from the neighborhood, but as we can see, anything is possible.

POLICE CHIEF: (cont.) Also, we'll assign an officer to patrol the school neighborhood, in case an agent tries to do something there. This briefing is dismissed.

PAGE 7 (The art has reverted to the childish style)

Panel 1: Establishing shot of the school playground. Akemi and Furrrm are playing. Furrrm has fetched a stick.

Panel 2: Akemi is smiling cutely as she takes the stick from Furrrm.

AKEMI: You brought it back! Good boy!

Panel 3: Akemi is standing up, ready to throw again.

AKEMI: Okay! I'm gonna throw it again!

Panel 4: Akemi is standing confused; Furrrm is cowering in fear.

SFX: BOOM

AKEMI: Huh? Thunder? But there's not a cloud in the sky!

Panel 5: Mature-style art. A policeman has grabbed a gunman (whose pistol is still smoking).

[Radical]

45 views but no replies? Doesn't anyone at least have an opinion, like "you suck" or "I like the concept, but..."?

Really, guys, you're hurting my feeling here.

[babybro]

Welcome to the artist and writer showcase, where no one seems to say a single thing. i feel your frustration. I've posted 4 times with at least 9 drawings inside, and no one said a single thing. I do not know why but I just don't understand this section of the forums. The point is to talk about each others art and yet no one talks. just looks a move on.

Now as for me discussing your piece, I hate to say it but I gotten lost. Now I'm primarily a artist who write my own script, and such I'm not qualified to give critics on a writing piece, but I will say when I was reading it, I was constantly loss and had no ideal what's going on. The sound effects on a few I couldn't tell what they were referring to.

But again, I'm not a script writer, so perhaps a comic script writer would be able to understand this much better than myself.

[Radical]

Well, it's like this...there are two stories going on, one for children and one for adults.

Children's story: A little girl befriends a cute furry creature and has fun adventures with it.

Adult story: Said creature is the creation of a bioweapons research corporation, and the little girl's father is a cop who gets involved investigating them.

Basically, it's Pokemon meets The Guyver.