08-12-2009, 01:23 PM
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#1 |
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~ TEAM MORTIS ~
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea
Posts: 22,375
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Uncanny X-Men #514 - Reviews and Spoilers
 "I think Matt Fraction is trying to tell us something about reading this comic, courtesy of The Inferno. Christ. I can't take Uncanny. It's so schizophrenic, it requires its own special therapist. What the holy hell is going on anymore?! It's been 14 sensational issues since Uncanny X-Men #500, and what do we have to show for it? Nothing. We set up the great, great, great San Francisco sanctuary city plot. It could have had shades of Morrison and Mutant Town and go in a new direction. So what have we gotten since? - Colossus mauling his chesticles with a tattoo gun. - Madelyne Pryor, Spiral, and others being retconned as total morons. - THE X-CLUB!!!! - Psylocke. Elegant. So what do we have now? Civil War, redux. It's a cold day in Hell when you're given a title with this gargantuan "supporting cast" but now rely on the Avengers to cross over into your book. And this was necessary, why? What happened to good ol' fashioned "Hey! We love San Fran! Let's have some fun?" Nah. That won't do it. We need more mutants-on-mutants, with evil rabble-rousing "CLEANSE THE FILTH!" humans in the background. Oh, and eventually we're returning to Genosha. The X-Line is slowly transforming into that horrendous first date you have, where they can't shut up about their exes and their glory days. I'm tired of it. TIRED. OF. IT.  Dazzler does her best to emulate a paid reviewer's commentary on Uncanny X-Men. So what have we here? Well, the mutants are coming, says Trask! Kill them! Cyclops, brilliant tactician he is sends the best in breasts to go and combat the Avengers -- Dani Moonstar, Psylocke, Domino, and Mindee Cuckoo. It's a veritable United Colors of Breasty Benneton on my page. Thrill. Meanwhile, Cyclops brings a strike force of Karma, X-23, Northstar, Dazzler, Iceman, and Colossus to observe the "Dark X-Men" attempting to be heroes. Why? Because apparently the bzillions of hours fighting and training that this team has done can't stand against the onslaught might of characters like Cloak, Dagger, and Mimic who have never had any of that. But hey! Apparently we'll get a Dagger/Dazzler showdown, riiiiiite?!  I hope Karma got some good, tactical notes on how to effectively engage in full-body fisting. So what does this mean? Why, it means that we're seeing a watered-down version of the early X-Men/X-Factor years: the X-Men are evil militant villains, and the Dark X-Men are the "good guys." Will this backfire? Why, I don't know!!! I bet Emma is going to one-up Cyclops in the end. How so? Because of Matt Fraction's elegant dialogue. In a world where this gets published...  Accept the Beast ongoing series NOW, nancy boy! ... there's no doubt that the woman will rise as the supreme power-player, and never realize beyond her ice-cold exterior that she's an abject failure and should defer instead to the brilliant tactician that is Scott Summers. Right? Right?! ... Right. |
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08-12-2009, 02:00 PM
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#2 |
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AI AI AIIIIIIIII
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Newport, South Wales
Posts: 8,519
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Your avatar has dissappeared!
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Jubilee says 'paf' X-Poster of the Month - June 2009 --- the best there is at what i do --- |
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08-12-2009, 02:09 PM
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Deception and Lies
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Calgary
Posts: 16,420
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What do you rate the issue out of 10?
The only thing I read in reviews
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X-Poster of the Month: February 2009 --- the best there is at what i do --- ♫ If I fear I'm losing you/ It's just no good, you teasing like you do.♫ |
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08-12-2009, 02:10 PM
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~ TEAM MORTIS ~
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea
Posts: 22,375
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Quote:
It's filler. And poor filler at that. |
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08-12-2009, 02:11 PM
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T'Challa's namesake
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Queen Ororo's womb
Posts: 1,386
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Quote:
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You son of a biscuit-eating, bulldog. What the French Toast?!? |
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08-12-2009, 02:15 PM
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#6 |
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AI AI AIIIIIIIII
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Newport, South Wales
Posts: 8,519
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Not really. The rest is same old same old.
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Jubilee says 'paf' X-Poster of the Month - June 2009 --- the best there is at what i do --- |
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08-12-2009, 02:16 PM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,274
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We now have three threads on this?
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08-12-2009, 02:22 PM
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#8 | |
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the monkey is back, baby!
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: The Big O
Posts: 11,399
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Quote:
this is a 2. God, I'm actually thinking of starting a letter campaign to get Austin and Liefiled on the book to get some kind of improvement.
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A dead Spock without pants is the least of our worries.... ~Reed Richards Her name was Tabitha Smith. Last edited by DeadXMan; 08-12-2009 at 02:25 PM. |
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08-12-2009, 02:31 PM
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Flash Bang Sparkle
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,334
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If you're in bed with jester1436 I not only lose all respect for you as a poster, but also as a human being. ~*~ Novaya Havoc ~*~ |
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08-12-2009, 02:35 PM
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Bauerclops Enthusiast
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Anywhere but here
Posts: 7,033
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Quote:
I know I won't get the popular vote with the Gliterrati, but, Novaya, for the love of... Can you *please* stop starting those UXM unabashed hate threads? How hard is it to wait for a somewhat fair and informative OP? You don't see us Claremont haters starting the Forever threads. Also, it cracks me up that some of totally called it that Emma wouldn't end up as the supreme sole victor and that the Dark x-men/Avengers issues would be mostly unsatisfying filler while the haterz hailed the exact opposite. Ah, CBR.
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Current top 3: Blackguard's Profungus Mortis Equilibrium's Sagas Equilibrium's Turis Fratyr |
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08-12-2009, 03:14 PM
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Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 111
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Ok so ive been following this Utopia arc and im STILL confused.
1) So emma leaves the x-men to start her own team and everyones ok with that ? Maybe i missed something but i assumed Scott would be PISSED off. 2) WTF is everyone doing. Who sent the robot/android things. What the hell was wolverine talking about. And where the hell is Betsy going with that submarine. There not explaining anything. Sorry for my ignorance but im missing something here.
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Pull List: Immortal iron fist,Ultimate Spiderman,New avengers, Super Street Fighter II Turbo, Ultimate Avengers, Deadpool, Invincible, The Walking Dead, Green Lantern , Batman & Robin,Uncanny Xmen, AMS, |
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08-12-2009, 03:15 PM
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#12 |
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butterfly fly away
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 845
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at least Dazzler looks stunning. like a blonde beautiful british model.
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♥ MomJeans ♥ Colossus ♥ M ♥ Rogue ♥ British Betsy Yost: Tessa needs to go get Sebastian Shaw a drink. |
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08-12-2009, 04:11 PM
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#13 |
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crown jewel
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Dallas
Posts: 4,828
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The issue wasn't bad, I really want to see all three teams collide already though! I'm really curious to see what Cyclops sent the X-Club out to do.
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DNA - Psylocke - X-23 - Blink - Moonstone - Daken - Magik Are you saying I'm the Ali to your Betsy?!?! Cuz if so, I would totally ride piggyback on your motorcycle! -fortyseven |
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08-16-2009, 02:59 AM
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#14 |
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New Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Melbourne, Aus
Posts: 97
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This issue was so boring. I want this crossover over already.
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08-16-2009, 03:27 AM
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: England
Posts: 937
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Quote:
Quote:
Even the Dark Avengers issue seemed to be more of an extra uncanny issue. Just another thrice-weekly mediocre storyline. |
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