Youtube Simultaneously Fulfills And Crushes My Childhood Fantasy

[Flying Saucers Over Oz]

(Sadly, this is another creepy thread. But it just happened, I find it amusing, and it lets me plug some neat stuff, so play along).

I was in middle school when I first read Richard Bann and Leonard Maltin's Our Gang: The Lives And Times Of The Little Rascals, later revised and reprinted with the names reversed. Big Rascals fan, I enjoyed the book a lot and was quite intrigued with the listings for the early silent Our Gangs, none of which I'd seen. Was particularly intrigued by the short 'Telling Whoppers,' mainly because of the sentence, "Meanwhile, Toughy... Is chased from a swimming hole by an angry farmer. Unable to retrieve his clothes, he keeps out of sight."

Oh, come on. You were twelve once. And it helped considerably that I checked elsewhere in the book and discovered Toughy, AKA Johnny Downs, was twelve as well when the short was made, not a 'little kid' like most of the rest of the Gang. Helped even more when I found some pictures of Johnny and discovered he was very cute. Honest. Looks a little like a real-life version of the Wesinger-era Superboy. At any rate, this was enough to fuel my fantasies for quite some time, particularly since I was a kid in rural Ohio and didn't have a chance in Hell of seeing this or ANY of the silent OUR GANG films. And while over the years I have managed to see a number of the silents, this one never made it to video or DVD.

Fast-forward thirty or so years: Was browsing Youtube recently and discovered someone had added 'Telling Whoppers', editing together a print out of four existing, fragmented copies. Watched it and discovered, of course, Toughy does NOT go skinny-dipping. He wears his boxers. Which is, of course, only necessary since he has a lot of business he has to do and anything else would get in the way. But my inner twelve year old is weeping bitter tears.

He can get over it. The story: Bully Toughy is terrorizing the Gang, forcing the kids to pay extortion, beating them up at will (He keeps a tally board: KIDS I HAVE LICKED and KIDS I'M GONNA LICK), and essentially making life Hell. One of his more whimsical torments is posting signs demanding kids do certain things --Stand on their heads, bark like a dog, etc.-- hiding, and then popping out and threatening to thrash them if they don't obey. Like all Our Gang bullies, of course, he is a coward at heart and when the Gang unites against him, he flees. But he's still able to pick them off one by one. Hiding in their clubhouse, the Gang draw lots to decide who has the honor of finishing him off. As luck has it, the job goes to the two youngest kids, Farina and Joe, who are tossed out and ordered not to come back until they're trounced him.

While Joe and Farina gird themselves for combat, Toughy is pestered by a silly girl. He finally gets disgusted with her and walks off; when she asks where he's going, he says, "Chicago! I need more room!" (Note: This is a guess on my part; as the person who posted the short explains, most of the title cards were lost). When Joe and Farina start looking, tenatively, for Toughy, the girl repeats this back to them. Convinced Toughy's moved away, the two are vastly relieved.

Of course, Toughy hasn't gone anywhere. He has wandered off to pick and eat wild berries, filling his cap with them. Then he trips, smushing them all over himself. Seeing a nearby lake, he goes for a swim to wash off, only to have an irate groundskeeper chase him away with a shotgun.

Joe and Farina, meanwhile, have returned to the clubhouse: "The conkerers have come!" They've concocted a wild story about not just thrashing Toughy but murdering him and dumping the body in a nearby lake. Just then, another boy rushes in with something he overheard: Toughy's been murdered and his body was dumped in the lake! This is the claim of Toughy's overwrought mother, who found his discarded, berry-stained clothes and thought the stains were blood. Joe and Farina are stunned to find their fib has somehow come true. The Gang immediately disassociates themselves from them, telling them they'll be hanged as killers. Taking it on the lam, Joe and Farina attempt to flee but seem to run into cops every way they turn. They also run into Toughy, who's managed to secure a sheet to wrap himself in. This scares them even more; they assume he's a ghost come back to avenge himself on them. Scared silly, the two manage somehow to end up in a runaway baby carriage while the Gang rats them out to the cops. But Toughy's been caught by another cop and everything's quickly sorted out. Moreover, Toughy's now wearing oversized trousers given him by said cop. Since he can't fight in said attire --If he lets go, they fall down-- they seize the chance to beat him up proper. They're interrupted by his mother, who puts him over her knee for a sound spanking.

Hmm. Superboy. Being spanked. In his underwear. That should hold my inner twelve year old for awhile.

(And yes, I realize this is my second post about a young boy in a state of undress in a silent movie in twenty-four hours. Don't worry, I'll cool it from now on.)

[Cam63]

I'm prescribing a long soak in an ice bath.

[shrike]

Actually I believe this is the third time total that you've discussed 'cute' young boys.

I hate to say it, but your postings regarding this give me the heebie jeebies. It's borderline 'To Catch A Predator'. Maybe I'm just reading it wrong... I hope so.

[Flying Saucers Over Oz]

Actually, I agree. Don't worry, that's the last one. I was just amused by the story.

And don't worry, I'm not like that. I'm just amused by this kind of stuff.

And really, 'heebie-jeebies' is what I was going for. Hey, I was told to work on being more appalling...

And honestly, Gail needs somewhere to get ideas for Rag Doll...