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  1. 11-16-2005, 03:16 PM #1
    Winslow
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    Default I'm off to testify

    As the supposed expert witness . . .

    "If the glove don't fit, you must aquit!"

    I really wanna use that line tomorrow, but it's civil dispute over the construction of a building for a community college.

    *yawn*
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  2. 11-16-2005, 03:18 PM #2
    Paul Newell
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    TESTIFY, BRUTHA!
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  3. 11-16-2005, 03:21 PM #3
    Dr. Hfuhruhurr
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winslow
    As the supposed expert witness . . .

    "If the glove don't fit, you must aquit!"

    I really wanna use that line tomorrow, but it's civil dispute over the construction of a building for a community college.

    *yawn*
    To liven it up, just jump out of your chair at the first objection and shout, "YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! YOU'RE ALL OUT OF ORDER!!!"

    The jury will love it. Of course, the guy who hired you probably won't be too pleased...
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

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  4. 11-16-2005, 03:22 PM #4
    Doug Strange
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    If the building holds students, you must use jurisprudence!
    DOUG STRANGE
    The white crow who disturbs the convenient silence...
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  5. 11-16-2005, 03:23 PM #5
    Dr. Hfuhruhurr
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doug Strange
    If the building holds students, you must use jurisprudence!
    Catchy.

    ten-freaking-characters
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

    What's in a name? The Secret Origin of Dr. Hfuhruhurr
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  6. 11-16-2005, 06:27 PM #6
    Winslow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Hfuhruhurr
    To liven it up, just jump out of your chair at the first objection and shout, "YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! YOU'RE ALL OUT OF ORDER!!!"

    The jury will love it. Of course, the guy who hired you probably won't be too pleased...
    lol

    Or in a Jack Nicholson Voice

    "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
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  7. 11-16-2005, 06:30 PM #7
    DarlingNikki
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winslow
    lol

    Or in a Jack Nicholson Voice

    "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
    that will make the folks you're testifying against pretty happy cuz everyone's gonna think you're insane.

    uh, if you plan on doing that, could you get someone to tape it for me?
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  8. 11-16-2005, 06:30 PM #8
    StoneGold
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    They're right outside your door, now testify!



    Which I'm sure will rile up some music nerd one way or the other.
    The Punisher: I’m going to cauterize your rectum, sealing it shut, so when you turn those delicious Pink Pants™ Fruit Pies into waste products the bilirubin in your feces will leach into your bloodstream and you’ll die screaming! And I’ll watch while having sex with this grateful prostitute!

    Trussed-Up Hooker: Blueberry are my favorite!

    In other words, what StoneGold said.
    -Expletive Deleted

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  9. 11-16-2005, 06:42 PM #9
    Jake V
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    Quote Originally Posted by StoneGold
    They're right outside your door, now testify!



    Which I'm sure will rile up some music nerd one way or the other.
    Mass graves for the pump and the price is set, and the price is set!
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  10. 11-17-2005, 02:54 PM #10
    Winslow
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    I'm back . . .

    Kicked butt and took names . . . now feel guilty (my client is a jerk).

    Fortunately they didn't ask me about my feelings for my client during cross-examination.

    I need a new job - there's no satisfaction in doing something well for someone that doesn't deserve it.
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  11. 11-17-2005, 02:55 PM #11
    Slam_Bradley
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    Damned hired guns.

    How's that? Feeling any worse?
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  12. 11-17-2005, 02:56 PM #12
    Dr. Hfuhruhurr
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winslow
    I'm back . . .

    Kicked butt and took names . . . now feel guilty (my client is a jerk).

    Fortunately they didn't ask me about my feelings for my client during cross-examination.

    I need a new job - there's no satisfaction in doing something well for someone that doesn't deserve it.
    Unfortunately, many clients are.

    But, don't be too hard on yourself. You did your job. It's not your fault the other side either didn't ask the right questions on cross or didn't have the facts on their side to begin with.
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

    What's in a name? The Secret Origin of Dr. Hfuhruhurr
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  13. 11-17-2005, 02:58 PM #13
    StoneGold
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winslow
    I'm back . . .

    Kicked butt and took names . . . now feel guilty (my client is a jerk).

    Fortunately they didn't ask me about my feelings for my client during cross-examination.

    I need a new job - there's no satisfaction in doing something well for someone that doesn't deserve it.
    Were they right outside your door?
    The Punisher: I’m going to cauterize your rectum, sealing it shut, so when you turn those delicious Pink Pants™ Fruit Pies into waste products the bilirubin in your feces will leach into your bloodstream and you’ll die screaming! And I’ll watch while having sex with this grateful prostitute!

    Trussed-Up Hooker: Blueberry are my favorite!

    In other words, what StoneGold said.
    -Expletive Deleted

    Check out my travel site, Geekations.com
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  14. 11-17-2005, 03:03 PM #14
    Winslow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slam_Bradley
    Damned hired guns.

    How's that? Feeling any worse?
    No - actually makes me feel better someone else feels the same about my profession. ;)

    I was honest. I just left out opinions that were damaging, and they never pinned me down on cross.
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  15. 11-17-2005, 03:06 PM #15
    Winslow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Hfuhruhurr
    Unfortunately, many clients are.

    But, don't be too hard on yourself. You did your job. It's not your fault the other side either didn't ask the right questions on cross or didn't have the facts on their side to begin with.
    I'm not being too hard on myself . . .just starting to sober up after patting myself on the back mentally . .. . (I'm vain like most . . .)
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