________, welcome to Hogwarts (Harry Potter)

**North** · 07-19-2005, 11:55 PM

Or you could just take the Deadpool from the lil'wade one shot

**Rachel Grey** · 07-20-2005, 12:58 AM

Heh, or we could do that. :p

**heretic** · 07-20-2005, 01:07 AM

Allielie Ryele(sp?) and Fatora of Roshtaria (at least neither of them will be panting after Harry)

X-23 (it seems the good doctor's DNA had a few perks)

Chao Lingshen

HTG

**lonewolf23k** · 07-20-2005, 04:08 AM

Originally Posted by Saint_007

Actually, we're assuming junior Wayne here. Which means the only terror he's seen is his parents' deaths.

The *scary* stuff came from guys like Joker and Darksied. WAAAAAYYYYY into *Batman's* future. So young Bruce won't have as much experience in terror as Batman does.

Yeah.. I was thinking that the Boggart would turn into an image of Bruce's parents getting shot down repeatedly.. Unless it's movie Bruce, in which case it becomes a bat...

**nanteen** · 07-20-2005, 06:13 AM

Harry and crew, with Dumbledoor.

"Thank god thats over. Headmaster this is the 5th breech of the hell gate this week. Why are the demons so bent on escape now?"

Dumbledoor fumming, turns toward Harry's owl "Go and find John Constantine and bring him here."

Short time later

John 'You called?"

"Yes, about all of these demonic incurtions this week?"

John "I didn't do it...."

**Peter** · 07-20-2005, 08:56 PM

Originally Posted by The Dog

Dumbledore: I see. Oh, and we retrieved Malfoy's Nimbus 2001 from Snape.

Lobo: Ya did?

Dumbledore: Quite frankly, Madame Pomfrey's quite amazed how far you managed to jam it up there that far.

Hah!

*chortles*

**Rockman** · 07-20-2005, 09:00 PM

Originally Posted by Magneto_X

Does the Potter-verse magic community have access to spells that allow them to boost their speed/reaction time (ala Haste*)?

If they do anyone with that ability *could* pose a tougher challenge for Clark.

*from Final Fantasy

I might be catching up reading the books so far(book 4,so far),but I have not yet seen that kind of magic use in the books.

**yeoman** · 07-20-2005, 09:07 PM

Originally Posted by Rockman

I might be catching up reading the books so far(book 4,so far),but I have not yet seen that kind of magic use in the books.

Well, it's possible they might have potions for that. But I wouldn't bet on them not having some concievably nasty side effects.

**Adrian Tullberg** · 07-21-2005, 06:32 AM

Originally Posted by Rachel Grey

Can I add Deadpool to the list? I'd love to see what he'd get up to at the school :D

Originally Posted by Saint_007

uhm, you realise we're talking about the *kids* here, not the adult version? In which case, he won't have his healing factor and might not even be crazy

Hogwart's Quiddich Field. Morning. Most of the class is assembled in plain white T-Shirts and shorts, some yawning and/or shivering.

Harry: I thought I escaped this, when I went to Hogwarts.

Heromine: The one class were the teachers called me 'useless' and it follows me.

Ron: What's P.E., anyway?

Harry: Shall we break it to him gently?

Heromine: He can have his innocence shattered like everybody else.

A bizarre figure carrying a gym bag bounds onto the field - wearing a black-and-red spandex suit and a white T-shirt with the slogan 'Killers Do It with a Really Big Gun! Then they Kill You!'

Deadpool: Hi ho subjects of torture! I'm Wade Wilson, your gym coach, or as you freaks from England call it; your ... (holds up fingers in quote gesture) ... P.E. Teacher. You can call me Mr. Wilson, Deadpool, or 'Not the Face! Not the Face!'

Harry and Heromine look at each other while Deadpool continues

Now, I was ... persuaded to come here, when some STUPID F%(#WIT WHO DIDN'T TELL ME I WAS WHACKING A GODDAMN WIZARD! ...

Ron clutches Harry protectively. Harry tries to look as hetrosexual as possible in that situation.

.. left me out to dry. However, I managed to negotiate a sort of work-release program over here showing mini-wizards not to be little butterballs like they are where normal people live.

Heromine: I thought we already had a former-bad-teacher-trying-to-be-good.

Deadpool: You should go to Xavier's when you hit Stateside honey. Then again, maybe I should have. Logan's cigar stash, the Professor's malt whiskey, and a ton of hot honies over eighteen.

Draco: I don't believe it ... we're being taught by a mudblood? They're letting a mudblood on campus? The facilty? When my father ...

Deadpool: (whispering to Harry) Is Peroxide Bitch insulting me?

Harry: Ah, yes.

Deadpool: (Pointing behind them) Look! Elvis!

Everybody turns, even though most of them don't know who Elvis is. An anguished scream fills the still morning air a second later.

When they turn back, they see Draco prone on the ground, holding his knee, while Deadpool is holding a crowbar behind his back.

Deadpool: What, this? (Producing the crowbar) It's ...a ... perfectly legitmate teaching aid, isn't it, blondie?

Draco: Please .. don't ...

Deadpool: It's called Tonya! Say hello Tonya!

Deadpool: (Speaking in a high-pitched, unconvincing girl's voice while moving the crowbar to simulate speaking) Hi kids! I'm Tonya, fresh from America's gold-winning skating rinks to Mr. Wilson's hand! I hope to have a really great time with you, because if you don't, Wade here is going to put me somewhere really uncomfortable! So eat lots of fibre for my sake!

Deadpool: DON'T YOU DARE RAT ME OUT YOU BITCH!

Deadpool turns from the crowbar to the confused and frightened faces of his students

Deadpool: Don't worry, she's only a student teacher.

Deadpool throws the crowbar over his shoulder.

Deadpool: Anyway, let's get started! Now to promote healthy exercise, I'm going to use a special Muggle wand!

While Deadpool rumages around in his gym bag, Ron leans over to Harry

Ron: I didn't know Muggles had wands ...

A demonic sound fills the air as Deadpool produces a large running chainsaw, and is wearing a hockey mask over his normal mask.

Deadpool: ARE WE MOTIVATED YET?

Harry and Heromine have already started running, as the rest of the class start backing off in fear

Ron: You can't .. you ...

Deadpool: Ten fingers off Gryffendor!

Ron: ... don't you mean ... points?

Deadpool: You really walked into that one kid.

Dumbledore's office. Snape is watching the gym class as Dumbledore is calmly taking tea.

Snape: I'm a bit worried about this new teacher ... are all Muggles like this?

Dumbledore: Just certain Americans.

The class are tearing around the field - Harry and Heromine way in front, the bulk of the class behind them, Draco limping as fast as he can while Deadpool is jogging behind, waving his chainsaw while laughing like a B-Grade movie villian. Hagrid is lying on the ground unconscious, a crowbar next to his head revealing the cause of his physical state.

Dumbledore: You'll find he'll serve his purpose.

Snape: Just out of curiousity - has anyone ever tested you for senility?

Dumbledore: Many people. Once.

**Adam Crocker** · 07-21-2005, 07:06 AM

Adrian, I swear, that Deadpool thing had me on the ground in stitches. Good job.

**Adrian Tullberg** · 07-21-2005, 09:16 PM

Ta muchly.

**yeoman** · 07-21-2005, 09:22 PM

Originally Posted by Adrian Tullberg

Hogwart's Quiddich Field. Morning. Most of the class is assembled in plain white T-Shirts and shorts, some yawning and/or shivering.

Harry: I thought I escaped this, when I went to Hogwarts.

Heromine: The one class were the teachers called me 'useless' and it follows me.

Ron: What's P.E., anyway?

Harry: Shall we break it to him gently?

Heromine: He can have his innocence shattered like everybody else.

A bizarre figure carrying a gym bag bounds onto the field - wearing a black-and-red spandex suit and a white T-shirt with the slogan 'Killers Do It with a Really Big Gun! Then they Kill You!'

Deadpool: Hi ho subjects of torture! I'm Wade Wilson, your gym coach, or as you freaks from England call it; your ... (holds up fingers in quote gesture) ... P.E. Teacher. You can call me Mr. Wilson, Deadpool, or 'Not the Face! Not the Face!'

Harry and Heromine look at each other while Deadpool continues

Now, I was ... persuaded to come here, when some STUPID F%(#WIT WHO DIDN'T TELL ME I WAS WHACKING A GODDAMN WIZARD! ...

Ron clutches Harry protectively. Harry tries to look as hetrosexual as possible in that situation.

.. left me out to dry. However, I managed to negotiate a sort of work-release program over here showing mini-wizards not to be little butterballs like they are where normal people live.

Heromine: I thought we already had a former-bad-teacher-trying-to-be-good.

Deadpool: You should go to Xavier's when you hit Stateside honey. Then again, maybe I should have. Logan's cigar stash, the Professor's malt whiskey, and a ton of hot honies over eighteen.

Draco: I don't believe it ... we're being taught by a mudblood? They're letting a mudblood on campus? The facilty? When my father ...

Deadpool: (whispering to Harry) Is Peroxide Bitch insulting me?

Harry: Ah, yes.

Deadpool: (Pointing behind them) Look! Elvis!

Everybody turns, even though most of them don't know who Elvis is. An anguished scream fills the still morning air a second later.

When they turn back, they see Draco prone on the ground, holding his knee, while Deadpool is holding a crowbar behind his back.

Deadpool: What, this? (Producing the crowbar) It's ...a ... perfectly legitmate teaching aid, isn't it, blondie?

Draco: Please .. don't ...

Deadpool: It's called Tonya! Say hello Tonya!

Deadpool: (Speaking in a high-pitched, unconvincing girl's voice while moving the crowbar to simulate speaking) Hi kids! I'm Tonya, fresh from America's gold-winning skating rinks to Mr. Wilson's hand! I hope to have a really great time with you, because if you don't, Wade here is going to put me somewhere really uncomfortable! So eat lots of fibre for my sake!

Deadpool: DON'T YOU DARE RAT ME OUT YOU BITCH!

Deadpool turns from the crowbar to the confused and frightened faces of his students

Deadpool: Don't worry, she's only a student teacher.

Deadpool throws the crowbar over his shoulder.

Deadpool: Anyway, let's get started! Now to promote healthy exercise, I'm going to use a special Muggle wand!

While Deadpool rumages around in his gym bag, Ron leans over to Harry

Ron: I didn't know Muggles had wands ...

A demonic sound fills the air as Deadpool produces a large running chainsaw, and is wearing a hockey mask over his normal mask.

Deadpool: ARE WE MOTIVATED YET?

Harry and Heromine have already started running, as the rest of the class start backing off in fear

Ron: You can't .. you ...

Deadpool: Ten fingers off Gryffendor!

Ron: ... don't you mean ... points?

Deadpool: You really walked into that one kid.

Dumbledore's office. Snape is watching the gym class as Dumbledore is calmly taking tea.

Snape: I'm a bit worried about this new teacher ... are all Muggles like this?

Dumbledore: Just certain Americans.

The class are tearing around the field - Harry and Heromine way in front, the bulk of the class behind them, Draco limping as fast as he can while Deadpool is jogging behind, waving his chainsaw while laughing like a B-Grade movie villian. Hagrid is lying on the ground unconscious, a crowbar next to his head revealing the cause of his physical state.

Dumbledore: You'll find he'll serve his purpose.

Snape: Just out of curiousity - has anyone ever tested you for senility?

Dumbledore: Many people. Once.

Best. Post. Ever. LInk to that is soooooooooo going in the sig.

**Adam Crocker** · 07-21-2005, 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by Adrian Tullberg

Ta muchly.

Do you mind if I post link to the post on the YABS board? A friend suggested that I should.

**Peter** · 07-21-2005, 09:28 PM

Adrian, you've actually outdone yourself. Kudos, that was awesome.

Originally Posted by Adrian Tullberg

Deadpool: (whispering to Harry) Is Peroxide Bitch insulting me?

Snape: Just out of curiousity - has anyone ever tested you for senility?
Dumbledore: Many people. Once.

The two best lines :D.