The Classic Quotations Thread

[Aaron Kashtan]

That's kind of a lame excuse. If they did get married, who would have prosecuted them for violating Kryptonian law?

[benday-dot]

That's kind of a lame excuse. If they did get married, who would have prosecuted them for violating Kryptonian law?

You know Supes though, he'd probably end up prosecuting himself if he ever felt was playin' around on the wrong side of the law.

[MDG]

Superman to cousin SuperGirl:

"If I ever did marry... it would be to some one super and lovable like... you! We can't marry because we're cousins! Though cousins can marry in certain countries here on earth... We're both from the planet Krypton, where the marriage of cousins was unlawful!"

"I just want a lovable girl... as long as she's super!" Kind've narrows down the pool a bit.

MDG

[Aaron Kashtan]

JOHNNY STORM: It all started when I asked the Thing to be best man at my wedding...
SPIDER-MAN: Wha -- whoa, back up! You're getting married? YOU?!?

--An entirely sensible question. From Fantastic Four #299, dialogue by Roger Stern.

[Aaron Kashtan]

Tigra is conversing with Grigar the Balkatar, one of the Cat People:

GRIGAR: [...] Whether you are one of us or not, you remain a female, and it is our nature to please females!
TIGRA: Nothing will please me till my life gets settled!
GRIGAR: Oh, I doubt that -- not if you have any part of us within you!
TIGRA: Well... I suppose you're right! Cats' moods do come and go--!
GRIGAR: Surely! And the rocks are warm to the touch beneath our golden glowsphere! Why cling to these darker thoughts when we can loll in the light?
TIGRA: Do you do a lot of lolling here?
GRIGAR: When I can!

...and a suggested sex scene ensues.

Personally, I never realized what "lolling" was a euphemism for. From West Coast Avengers #6 (I think), dialogue by Steve Englehart.

[Aaron King]

TIGRA: Nothing will please me till my life gets settled!
GRIGAR: Oh, I doubt that -- not if you have any part of us within you!

Not to make this any dirtier, but which part is Grigar talking about here?

Man, Steven Englehart is weird sometimes.

[Aaron Kashtan]

Continuing with the theme of Englehart and weird sexual euphemisms...

Hal Jordan, you listen to me! I know the beating you took from the Predator hurt your pride as well as your body -- but you've spent almost all the time since you quit being Green Lantern chasing him instead of me!

--Carol Ferris to Hal, in Green Lantern #190. What is "chasing" supposed to mean in this context?

[Aaron Kashtan]

You thought you'd beaten me, Supie -- but that's one option that won't be renewed! I'm gonna tune in on your brain -- and stay tuned... till I short-circuit its electrical impulses! I'll keep up my brain-drain until your mind's a vast wasteland--

--Blackrock delivers one silly TV-related pun after another, from Superman #315, dialogue by Martin Pasko.

[Aaron Kashtan]

Dr. Doom: I require accommodations for a few days! Nothing too elaborate! The royal suite will suffice!
Hotel clerk: B-but, excellency... it's occupied!
Doom: Do you know why men call me Doom?
Clerk: T- the suite will be vacated at once!

--From Astonishing Tales #4, dialogue by Larry Lieber.

[Mr Omnis]

Spectre?! Save me! That want to make me pope!

--From The Spectre, v3, #21. Said by the Reverend Richard Craemer

[Aaron Kashtan]

Here's the real threat -- an optic detonator designed to paralyze your optic nerves [...]

--From Legion of Super-Heroes vol. 2 #259, dialogue by Gerry Conway. Why is this interesting? Because this weapon actually affects Wildfire, who has no optic nerves. Which is only one of the numerous silly things about this story.

[Aaron Kashtan]

ELSBETH: Ronald... I want you to know... I can't stay with you any longer.
RONALD: Elsbeth, you are insipid. Go clean the bathroom.

--Obviously, these people are not candidates for Married Couple of the Year. From Man-Thing #21, dialogue by Steve Gerber.

[benday-dot]

--Obviously, these people are not candidates for Married Couple of the Year. From Man-Thing #21, dialogue by Steve Gerber.

Damn... I remember that dialogue! Thanks Sir Tim. When I first got back into comics a few years back it was through Gerbers Man-Thing and Defenders. Reading those series made me appreciate the funny books a whole level that was absent from when I just was into wham-bam supheroics as a kid.

[Aaron Kashtan]

The witches' magic words throughout the issue [Groo #59] can be unscrambled to spell out things like, "Mark has been up all night writing Garfield stories" and "Mark is fed up with switching cheese dip for lasagna" and "Boy, I wish I could go to bed." Yeah, I remember that night...

--From Mark Evanier's commentary in the letters page of Groo #79. Yeah, I've had nights like that too.

[Aaron Kashtan]

Are you preparing to flee in defeat, overrated one?

--Apparently the excessive use of the word "overrated" is not a new phenomenon. From Avengers #6, dialogue by Stan the Man.