The Classic Quotations Thread

[Aaron Kashtan]

LEEJA: Oh, Magnus... isn't this a glorious time of the year?
MAGNUS: It is when I'm with--
FLEEING PEOPLE: RUN! RUN! BERSERK ROBOTS! PLAGUE! PLAGUED ROBOTS! THEY'LL KILL US!

--Just when Magnus finally starts acting like a real boyfriend, here come the plagued berserk robots. From Magnus, Robot Fighter #7, dialogue by Russ Manning.

[Aaron Kashtan]

The afternoon is dark. It rains. And Sir Denis Nayland Smith's Stormhaven Castle in England is cleansed in the downpour. But here inside, where it is warm and dry, Leiko and I are cleansed only by the fluid of our exertions...

--As the accompanying images show, this line means that they're practicing martial arts. But you might be forgiven for thinking that they're engaging in, uh, some other indoor activity. From Master of Kung Fu #110, script by Doug Moench.

[Aaron Kashtan]

Simon Stagg is believed to be dead, and Rex and Sapphire are listening to a tape of him reading his own will.

STAGG'S VOICE: To my beloved daughter, Sapphire, I leave the bulk of my estate, valued at some 80 millions...
SAPPHIRE: 80 millions?! Oh, Rex, what a nice round figure!
REX: Yeah, baby, but I like yours better!
STAGG'S VOICE: ...but due to her spendthrift ways and lack of judgment, the money shall be held in trust, and an income paid her of 50,000 per year!
SAPPHIRE: What?! Only 50,000 a year! Why, I can't even clothe myself on that!

--Clearly Stagg knew what he was doing when he put that provision in the will. From the backup story in Action Comics #418, dialogue by Bob Haney.

[Aaron Kashtan]

In the letter column of Teen Titans vol. 1 #5, a reader named Francis Sayre of Syracuse, N.Y. asks the editor what Kid Flash, Aqualad and Wonder Girl's secret identities are. The editor replies:

Only KID FLASH has one. He's Wally Wood, of Blue Valley.

So apparently, at the same time that he was drawing T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents, Woody was moonlighting as a teenage superhero.

[Aaron Kashtan]

I just thought instead of getting a letter saying thanks for the sex you'd enjoy getting one saying thanks for the ferret.

--From Jeff Hartman's letter published in Omaha the Cat Dancer #8. No comment.

[The Hope and the Slaughter]

"I swear, Odin, if Patsy Walker dies, I will rip out your one good eye and feed it to the dogs!"

-Moondragon battling Mad Dog and the Mutant Force alongside the Defenders at the wedding of Daimon Hellstrom and Patsy Walker in (New) Defenders #125.

Archangel:You rough-neck little low life creep---I was right about you from the start! The years haven't taught you anything. Can't you get it through your thick skull? Jean's spoken for!

Wolverine: I know the rest flyboy--even if she wasn't she's still too good for the likes of me! (thinking)<Angel-his scent something about it--familiar--pain--sweet mercy the pain>>The heck with that bub--an the heck with you!!

Archangel:Touched a nerve, have I? Here you come, the pipsqueak psycho-killer with bones that can't be broken...and claws that'll cut through anything. Well I have blades too, now shorty. Sharp as yours, and just as deadly. Only mine can be thrown!

From Uncanny X-Men 242 (always loved the conflict between those two)

[Aaron Kashtan]

Jaguars! The gunfire was merely to herd them at me.

--And we all thought that "herding cats" was just a metaphor. From Batman #365, dialogue by Doug Moench.

[Aaron Kashtan]

COSMIC BOY: That beast's teeth are made of green kryptonite... the one substance that can kill Superboy!
BOUNCING BOY: Help him, somebody!

--Not one of Bouncing Boy's prouder moments. (At this point in the story, Chuck himself is in no danger and there's nothing preventing him from helping Superboy.) From Adventure Comics #380, dialogue by Jim Shooter.

[Aaron King]

Dialogue by who?! You're killin' me here.

GCD says it's by Jim Shooter and/or Mort Weisinger.

[Aaron Kashtan]

Dialogue by who?! You're killin' me here.

GCD says it's by Jim Shooter and/or Mort Weisinger.

Oops, sorry. I was so focused on trying to think of a witty remark to make about the quotation that I forgot to mention the name of the scriptwriter.

Well, thanks for being willing to help, unlike Bouncing Boy.

[Aaron Kashtan]

After the Son of Satan fails in his efforts to interrogate a captured terrorist, it's Luke Cage's turn to get him to talk:

Okay, Mister Charlie -- now you listen close: Either you start rappin' like your life depended on it -- which it does -- or you're gonna have five big, black, hairy knuckles rammed right down your lily-white throat all the way to your belly! You dig?

A highly effective threat, from Defenders #24, dialogue by Steve Gerber.

[Aaron Kashtan]

Hal has just informed Kari Limbo of her beloved Guy Gardner's death.

KARI: Please... hold me! You must hold me!
HAL: I will... for as long as you like!
Caption: Thus, these two are joined in sorrow... deep within himself, Green Lantern feels the stirrings of a long-forgotten tenderness, and he knows the gypsy woman called Kari will be important to him... very, very important...

--Kari hasn't even gotten over the shock of Guy's death, and Hal is already having "stirrings" about her. Sheesh. From Green Lantern #117, dialogue by Denny O'Neil.

[Aaron Kashtan]

In Groo #102, a corrupt "rich boss" hires Groo to break up a strike, but once Groo realizes what he's been hired to do, he refuses to do it. Later in the issue, Groo beats up some warriors who have also been hired to break the strike. The following conversation ensues between Groo and the boss:

BOSS: What is it with you, man? I hired you... and you failed! Now my men hire you and you turn on them! Which side are you on?
GROO: The side of fairness!
BOSS: Oh, against me, are you?

[Aaron Kashtan]

COP #1: Are you sure this is the right place, John?
COP #2: Well, Paul, his gunmen have been seen around here! This is the only abandoned warehouse in this part of the city! And you know how these master-criminal types like to hang out in abandoned warehouses!

--Yay, metatext! From Aquaman #54, dialogue by Steve Skeates.

[Aaron Kashtan]

PIRATE KITTY: Where've you been, y'big galoot? And what about that tentacled thing that grabbed you?
GIANT LOCKHEED: Oh, that. It wuz delicious.

--Mmmm, tentacles. From Nightcrawler #4, dialogue by Dave Cockrum.