The Classic Quotations Thread

[Aaron Kashtan]

BARRY ALLEN: Adjusting to a life of bachelorhood again is going to be a long, slow haul! So many little things I used to take for granted I have to do for myself again -- like dirty dishes!

Apparently what Barry misses most about Iris is her unpaid labor as a domestic servant. From Adventure Comics #466, dialogue by Cary Bates.

[Mormel]

Oh, here's a gem:

You should understand that as a child, my heroes were the men who fought their way across the silver screen. They believed... they cared! Today there are no heroes, no good influences for our youth. The depraved violence of Clint Eastwood holds no candle to the unblemished humanity of John Wayne.

As spoken by the villain/anti-hero/vigilante Hangman in "Spider-Woman' #5 (1978). The Hangman is also a misogynist and a psychopath.

[Kirayoshi]

Nothing like a flat put-down:

Gideon: Getting rid of me... won't save you. You're your own worst enemies! Both of you!
Ramona: No, I'm pretty sure you're worse, dude.
Scott: You're definitely worse.

--Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

The rifle said more than the man.

It was a short magazine Lee-Enfield, three-oh-three calibre, and it's worn blass buttplate and the scars & scratches on it's woodwork spoke volumes of the century gone by. They spoke of Mons, Ninteen-Fourteen, where cries of 'TEN ROUNDS RAPID!' convinced the German soldiers they faced machinegun fire, and English bowmen from the time of Agincourt-- so legend has it-- appeared in the clouds to cover the retreat. They spoke of Harry and Jack on their way up to Arras. Of the morning on the Somme when men of Ulster, Scotland, Wales & Ireland, all the children of The Empire, fixed bayonets as long as swords and went to feed the earth. They spoke of tommies on the beach at Dunkirk, taking hopeful potshots at the stukas, and of stopping Rommel dead at Alam Halfa. They spoke of Normandy, of the sneaking gang-fights in the hedgerows, where a platoon could bleed out faster than it's predecessors on the Somme. Finally, they spoke of Afghanistan, the land that swallows armies. Of ancient rifles in the hands of men as hard as mountains, glimpsed on CNN and BBC. Anachronisms next to things of tin & plastic. Of weapons taken by the locals from the empire that fought them, an inheritance of iron and gun-oil out on the North-west frontier. They spoke of history.

The man was Russian.

-Garth Ennis's 303:

[Venomous Mask]

"It's a dull old world on the surface, ain't it. All grey and nondescript. Scratch the surface and you reveal the real world, all red and raw and senseless, and that's the world I like, the world I show you when I kill, the world I am. I am that man, eating human sandwiches at the bus stop, making Jeffrey Dahmer eyes at the nice young boys, John Wayne Gacy hands a'twitching. I am those kinds burning dogs and hobos in the dark alleyway, the woman cutting a hole in the tied-to-the-bed Mr. Goodbar and inserting a vaccum cleaner tube into his stomach, the wife shoving broken glass down the husband's throat. I'm the American flag on fire, the Founding Fathers crucified for a chat show, lies, cursed lies, and government. I am the end of the world as we know it and I need a drink. I'm the boy with the gun and a headful of crack and the sudden desperate need to kill something. I'm chaos, Mistuh Kurtz, chaos--and the rest of the world won't admit that it's just like me. And because o'that the world is worthless, it's dirt on my heel--love means nothing--it's a planet of mannequins filled with blood and they may as well be torn up and burst and stamped on because what else are they good for--apart from making noise and being nice and making more stupid little mannequins that sit still for lies and TV and kissy-kissy garbage. I've shown you the worst things in the world, because that's what the world's made of. Am I getting through to you? Everything is sick--and I LOVE IT!!"

- Carnage explaining to a psychiatrist why he does what he does, Carnage: Mind Bomb #1

[Roquefort Raider]

"It seemed to me that the blossom was what life is all about... Fighting to survive and occasionally being beautiful!"


Bat Lash, in Bat Lash #6 (written by Sergio Aaragones and Denny O'Neil)

[Gothos]

SUE RICHARDS: "Benjamin J. Grimm! You're just being obdurate!"
BEN: "My religion's got nuthin' to do with it!"
-- Stan Lee, FANTASTIC FOUR #55

"Groo is as clever as a duck..."-- Groo, right before someone clobbers him, by Evanier in DEATH OF GROO.

[FeelTheMoop]

"I Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed, life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears."But doctor" He says, "I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains." - Rorschac from The Watchmen

[Jodoc]

Another from Rorschach, remembering the night he truly became Rorschach -

'Felt cleansed. Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night.'

And of course, as I type that, my cat Sabrina has to climb up and see what I'm doing.

[Jodoc]

From Cerebus: High Society - an angry Regency Elf has written graffiti all over the hotel, proclaiming that 'Cerebus wee-wees in the sink.' Overseeing the clean-up, Cerebus feels the need to comment.

'It isn't true, of course. . .Cerebus knows what a toilet is for. Cerebus has used them many times. . .many times indeed.'

[cliffhanger]

"Sometimes a good performance is wasted on the wrong audience." Mister Miracle-Jack Kirby.