The Classic Quotations Thread

[Aaron Kashtan]

In MARVEL TEAM-UP #23, we published a letter from reader David Lofvers suggesting that the Comics Code Authority be abolished and that we liberalize our standards concerning sex, nudity, violence, and the use of zombies in our four-color comics.

--One of these things is not like the other. From the letters page of Marvel Team-Up #27, author unknown.

Now, sex and violence are a part of life, whether we like it or not (although I can't say the same about zombies).

--Indeed; what's not to like about zombies? From Kenneth Valentine's letter in the same letter column.

[Aaron Kashtan]

Ha! This is glorious! To see my two hated enemies so helpless! I must -- eh? My timer-alarm! That means my powers are due to fade in a few short hours! I could easily kill you in that time... but I must prolong your suffering! Ha! Ha! There'll be other times!

--Obviously the Composite Superman can't be allowed to kill Superman and Batman. But can't he at least not kill them for a more plausible reason? From World's Finest Comics #283, dialogue by Cary Burkett.

[Aaron Kashtan]

Doctor Strange defeats some crooks by making their clothing vanish. He then threatens them:

Leave at once or I'll make more than your pants disappear!

I don't even want to guess what else he would have made disappear. From Doctor Strange #63, dialogue by Carl Potts.

[Billigm]

--A sharp comeback! Tomb of Dracula #37, script by Marv Wolfman.

Amazing!!!
Such a good one
hahahha

[Aaron Kashtan]

A lazy, drifting canopy of clouds wraps the sleepy earth in a soft, thick blanket of down on this cool, fall evening... while above this lulling mantle of peace, sparkling courtiers of stars brightly dance attendance on the queen-moon, beguiling from her hand her golden favor... which sheds a saffron glow of blessing above all...

--This is interesting not just because it's the purplest prose ever, but also because of where it appears. You'd think this was a caption from some sort of romance comic, but it's actually from World's Finest #285, of all things. Script by Cary Burkett.

[MDG]

You'd think this was a caption from some sort of romance comic, but it's actually from World's Finest #285, of all things.

That was during a period when Superman and Batman were getting along particularly well.

[Aaron Kashtan]

That was during a period when Superman and Batman were getting along particularly well.

Yes, in that story they get along so well that the reader suspects they might be, shall we say, more than friends.

[Aaron Kashtan]

I want to take this opportunity to thank Energetic Ed Hannigan -- multi-talented artist, editor and writer -- for his emergency assistance in burning the midnight ganja after a long day at the office [...]

--From David Kraft's afterword in the letters page of Logan's Run #5. I guess the Comics Code wasn't monitoring letters pages?

[Aaron Kashtan]

SUPERBOY: Knockout! I thought you were, like, really hurt!
KNOCKOUT: Don't worry, pup -- most men can't tell when a woman's faking...

--Nice job getting that one past the Code. From Superboy #24, dialogue by Karl Kesel.

[Aaron Kashtan]

You know, Abrahams... I'd been in bed with that woman for the past three months.

--That shows some dedication; most people would have had to get up a few times to eat or use the bathroom. From Nathaniel Dusk #2, dialogue by Don McGregor.

[Aaron Kashtan]

--That shows some dedication; most people would have had to get up a few times to eat or use the bathroom. From Nathaniel Dusk #2, dialogue by Don McGregor.

On the same page, we find the following caption that might have won the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest:

We stood over the Brooklyn Bridge, staring into the East River. I looked for a tugboat. I thought the throaty horn of a tug giving its message to the world would be appropriate. There wasn't a tugboat in sight or horn to be heard. Life is like that sometimes.

[Scott Harris]

I just cracked open Boy Comics #108 and came across a line that just about had me in tears because it's just so incredibly wrong. You may need to be a history buff to fully appreciate this, but these two old buddies are greeting each other and one of them says this:

"Hey, you're getting fat, Stan! I guess you're eating better than those days on Corregidor!"


So many levels of wrong.

[Aaron Kashtan]

FIRE: J'onn, I'm sorry I snapped at you back there...
J'ONN: No apologies needed. We've all been doing our share of snapping today, and I think we're all sorry.
GUY: Zat mean you're sorry for yellin' at me?
J'ONN: SHUT UP, GARDNER!

--From Justice League America #53, dialogue by J.M. DeMatteis.

[Aaron Kashtan]

JIMMY: Poor Supergirl doesn't know I'm already married to Linda Danvers! If she finds out, it'll break her heart! Why must I be so irresistible to all women?

--A problem we all wish we had. From Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #57, dialogue by Jerry Siegel.

[Aaron Kashtan]

On the next page:

JIMMY: Perry wants an article on this fair, which is closed down because of its unsafe equipment! Gosh, this Superman ride looks like fun! I'll turn it on and enjoy myself!

He must have a hard time getting insurance.