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  1. #1
    New Member iamtravis182's Avatar
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    Default Looking for some feedback for original story; "Mr. Thompson: Zombie Hunter".

    I am new to the comic scripting world, but I think I have what could be a cool idea for a graphic novel. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

    The story would be called Mr. Thompson: Zombie Hunter (working title).

    Main Characters:

    Mr. Thompson:

    Mr. Thompson is a middle school science teacher in a small town. Teaching has become the bane of his existence. The students that he used to passionately impart with knowledge, now seem to be nothing more than apathetic, lazy, narcissists. This is exemplified in his most difficult student Ethan Moore. Adding to his frustration with teaching, is the fact his wife left him for the band instructor. The affair was the talk of the town, and the dissolving of his marriage was known by everyone...including his students. Adding salt to the wound, Mr. Thompson, his ex-wife and her lover, still work in the same school.

    Ethan Moore:

    Ethan is a 14 year old student at Elbur Street Middle School. Son of a single mother, he never knew his Dad. He left the family when he was a child. Mom is on welfare, she sits at home and smokes all day. Ethan is kid who walks the streets late at night by himself, frequenting the local corner store, drinking energy drinks at all hours of the night, and playing Xbox until 2 a.m. Ethan sees no value in school, he is short sighted, immature, and naive.

    Plot:
    On an assuming afternoon, strange things start happening. Cops begin racing to occurrences of horrific cannibalism, paramedics run from house to house, firetrucks fail to keep up with the destruction of the small town.

    While this is happening throughout the town, Mr. Thompson is in his classroom, grading papers, and monitoring his most annoying student while he serves his Friday detention, when the undead begin assaulting the school. The teacher and the student have to band together to protect each other from the assault of the undead. And in doing so, Mr. Thompson discovers a love and a courage in one of his most difficult students, and Ethan discovers the love of a father that he never had.
    --------

    I know that the zombie genre is over saturated, but I have been a zombie fan since I was a kid and its a genre I know pretty well.

    Once again, I am new to this world, but any feedback on this broad idea would be very much appreciated.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Scurlogg_Hawkk's Avatar
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    reminds me of breaking bad a bit
    In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light

  3. #3
    New Member iamtravis182's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scurlogg_Hawkk View Post
    reminds me of breaking bad a bit
    I would be lying if I said that wasn't some of my inspiration...well that and being a science teacher myself :)

    But man if your going to pick and choose some ideas, you might as well pick from the best!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Scurlogg_Hawkk's Avatar
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    Yeah mate .That is one very cool show ,but did you think about the title i know it's working ,but there is a zombie hunter around .
    In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light

  5. #5
    New Member iamtravis182's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scurlogg_Hawkk View Post
    Yeah mate .That is one very cool show ,but did you think about the title i know it's working ,but there is a zombie hunter around .
    Hmmm, thanks for the heads up. I was thinking of the "Zombie Hunter" title because he's really just a normal guy who ends up fighting zombies because he has to, but becomes a badass in the process. I'll start thinking of some new ideas, thanks!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Scurlogg_Hawkk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iamtravis182 View Post
    Hmmm, thanks for the heads up. I was thinking of the "Zombie Hunter" title because he's really just a normal guy who ends up fighting zombies because he has to, but becomes a badass in the process. I'll start thinking of some new ideas, thanks!

    Here is idea for the title Mr.Thompson :School Under Siege or here another Mr.Thompson:After the Day that Ends in Zero Hour oppss bonus one or two MIster John Thompson :The Peak of School Kirkman :No Rest for the Fleash or Mr.Thompson :Need More Ammo and Baseball Bats .But what kinda zombies are you planing to do fast walkiing ,slow walking , very very slow walking like turtle or a snail .Talking zombies , self-aware zombies ,profesor zombies .
    In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light

  7. #7
    New Member iamtravis182's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scurlogg_Hawkk View Post
    Here is idea for the title Mr.Thompson :School Under Siege or here another Mr.Thompson:After the Day that Ends in Zero Hour oppss bonus one or two MIster John Thompson :The Peak of School Kirkman :No Rest for the Fleash or Mr.Thompson :Need More Ammo and Baseball Bats .But what kinda zombies are you planing to do fast walkiing ,slow walking , very very slow walking like turtle or a snail .Talking zombies , self-aware zombies ,profesor zombies .
    Thanks for the title ideas! I think I'll keep on writing/outlining and then choose a title. No Rest for the Flesh is pretty sweet!

    I envisioned pretty traditional Shaun of The Dead/Walking Dead zombies, but that style of zombie is being done heavily, so that could change. I'm still working it out.

    I know that I want to focus on the teacher/student relationship, so in order to help keep them at the focus, I might just do regular old zombies.

    Everyday when I'm at school now, I keep on thinking of ways to kill zombies with school items lol.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Scurlogg_Hawkk's Avatar
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    What items are there to uise .Do you have basketballs they could be use as good projectiles against the hordes of the undead .The tradition Shaun of The Dead/Walking Dead zombies are over used mate .What about zombies from Left 4 Dead games they are fast and can mutate in to some other gruesome creatures.
    In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light

  9. #9
    New Member iamtravis182's Avatar
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    Science/Chemistry classes have all kinds of chemicals/compounds that could be used. Our industrial arts class growing up had every power tool imaginable, so theres that. We also had bows and arrows in our gym class growing up, steel music stands from chorus, fire extinguishers, flag staffs.

    Funny you say mutations! I was outlining last night and had the same thought about mutations...that's a pretty rad idea. Too bad Resident Evil has tapped that part of the zombies, but it is definetly not as overused as Walking Dead zombies.

    I have outlined about 25% of the plot. Hopefully with my holiday break I can finish the outline and get a lot done on the script.

    Thanks for ALL of the feedback!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Scurlogg_Hawkk's Avatar
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    Add Mutations and Mutilated zombie/rats and dogs like Resident Evil ( The best series ever .).Bows and arrows are great tools for fight the undead .
    In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light

  11. #11
    New Member iamtravis182's Avatar
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    Almost anything is a weapon to fight the undead! I get to relive my high school days of daydreaming during class about how I would fight zombies in my school. Its pretty fun.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Scurlogg_Hawkk's Avatar
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    Yup in the school anything is a weapon against the hordes of the undead .
    In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light

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