The great wooden ship's sails were unfurled and full of wind. Wherever the ship was going it was going to soon be there. Captain Obama was at the Helm dressed like a pirate with an eyepatch that he didn't really need and a brightly-colored parrot Polly perched upon his shoulder. Captain Obama began to sing,
"I am a bold Sea Questor,
I quest upon the Sea,
And just like Uncle Fester,
Some times I gotta pee!"
And with that Captain Obama urinated into the sea. He always sang that song just before he urinated.
"Awk." said Polly.
Later on Captain Obama pulled out his Treasure Map and he and Polly examined it.
"All we gotta do is reach Treasure Island and roll this boulder aside and then we will be able to get all the Treasure in Treasure Cave!" said Captain Obama.
"Awk!" said Polly.
So they sailed into the sun and found Treasure Island with the help of their map. And there was Treasure Cave, right where the map said it would be, with a boulder in front of it, just like the map said, blocking entrance to the cave.
"That boulder doesn't look that big, it will be easy to move it." said Captain Obama, for getting the Treasure from Treasure Cave was main goal of the Sea-Questor.
He tried to move the rock but it just wouldn't move. He pushed and shoved and grunted and groaned but the rock wouldn't move. He took a running start but that didn't move it either. There were some crack around the boulder so that Obama could see the gleaming gold treasure just out of his reach. Obama knew if he could just reach that treasure he could pay for all the social programs he could think of.
"I could really spread the wealth around!" said Captain Obama. So he kept at it, trying to move that boulder but finally he collapsed in a heap and gave up panting in defeat.
"What's wrong noble Sea-Questor? said Polly the Parrot.
"I just can't budge-it." said Obama.
"If it's any solace to you, neither can the Republicans." said Polly the Parrot.