Create a Bizarro version of yourself (or another poster, but nicely [heh])

[Rob Allen]

Al Robben am sad to be here with enemies on Brand New Comics board!

Al Robben reads only brand new comics from Marvel and DC! When next issue comes out, sell the old ones to Ruck Chozanski!

Al Robben goes to the same Tea Party meetings as Molly Jon and Ban Dailey! Al is strait-laced, old-fashioned and hates hippies!

Hello!

[Cei-U!]

!U-Cie am president of Jack Sparling Fan Club!
!U-Cie hate all comics published before 1986!
!U-Cie go to conventions to pick through $100 boxes!
!U-Cie think Earth-Two dumbest! Idea! ever!

!U-Cei
Go 'way, lightning!

[dupersuper]

Women find me irresistible. I hate to read (especially comics). I love sports and reality TV.

[MRP]

Me am PRM!
Me am no liking words.
Me am no liking pictures.
Me no like to talk.
Me am liking people who am talking out hind end.
Me am liking talking heads with perfect hair and rotten mouths.
Make PRM! happy.

-W

[Red Oak Kid]

Ked Oak Rid not recognize who draw art in comic books.
Ked Oak Rid love comic book writers and long continued stories that never end.
Ked Oak Rid love superhero teams. The more members the better he like.
Ked Oak Rid like Charlton Romance comics because the stories are so complex.
Ked Oak Rid think Charlton have best printing ever.
Ked Oak Rid want Continuity Comics collected into hardback editions.

[shaxper]

Paxsher write brief posts on CBR
Paxsher hate CBR and never log in. Me feel good if not log in and review a book at least once a day.
Paxsher like read comics out of order. Me never feel need to buy and read complete runs in sequential order.
Paxsher have very few ideas for review threads and lots of time to write them.
Paxsher love Todd McFarlane so much. Paxsher think the '90s was bestest era ever for comics.
Paxsher also think the art of Pat Broderick is much underrated.
Paxsher hate Doug Moench and Steve Gerber. They is no talent hacks.

[shaxper]

A few more...

Me think it make complete sense to obsess over whether a comic is in 9.4 or 9.8 condition, and especially to pay premium prices for a 10.0
Me love variant covers
Me think it totally appropriate to acknowledge Bob Kane, Denny O'Neil, and Frank Miller as the most important influences upon Batman.
Me know that Hulk #181 is the REAL first appearance of Wolverine
Me love reboots
Me hate continuity
Me think a "mature" comic must be very dark, have excessively flawed anti-hero protagonists, and have lots of nudity.
Me think overly hyped, massively decompressed story events are the bestest things ever.

[adam_warlock_2099]

My bizzaro self would be sober, not like the fine line between pain and pleasure, think all women should be barefoot, skinny, short haired and less endowed. He would probably also like country music and all things related to southern life in southern states. He would also be short tempered, celibate, and a glutton. Probably wouldn't be anally compulsive about things that really don't matter.

I would imagine that he also would think Starlin has done nothing but horrible work in comics.

[dan bailey]

That would be Eve_Thanatos_1937 you're speaking of?

[adam_warlock_2099]

Is she a dominate naturally well endowed woman with junk in the trunk and big child bearing hips with long black hair and great shoe fashion sense? Does she like every type of music but country? Is she even tempered and a sex drive that's faster than mine? Is she compulsive about the important things like organization and cleanliness? Does she to know that if it weren't for Starlin's work in comics that she too might have tired of them long ago?

If so I like this gal already. 8-)

[Polar Bear]

Goodbye. Me am Equatorial Penguin. Me want hi grade comics only to read. When friend give me hardcover comics, me tear off hard covers so they not get damaged, store them in basement. Keep comics pages upstairs to look at pictures.

Equatorial Penguin love Frank Robbins and Jack Sparling. Me hate Barry Windsor Smith, George Perez, Jim Steranko. Too many lines. They better when Vince Colletta ink them, tho. More erase lines = better comic.

Me hate chips and queso. Me love pretzels and yogurt. Me believe everything they say on news. Reporters am our friends. Only more friendlier people am congressmen. Me agree with everything Democrats and Republicans say. They so smart and helpful!

Hello.

[Reptisaurus!]

Goodbye! Me am Amphibo-Mammus. Me live on the top of Mount Iowa, off the coast of Nebraska.

Me hate all comics published before I was born.

Also after.

Me like comics about small animals, and comics where one and only one character appear. Me stop reading Superman on page 2, when Lois Lane show up.

Me collect comics for investment purposes. Since little plastic holder-things make for better investments, me tear up the comics and keep the little plastic holders-things. Don't get fingerprints on my little plastic holder thing that Action Comics # 17 used to go in!

[Jezebel Bond]

Jeb find variant covers incredibly fugly. No wonder only 1000 of these exist. Jeb knows doppelganger Jezebel dance naked gangman style in pit full of razorblades for this book.

[Phil Maurice]

Yay, Spider-Man! Him am great hero. Swing through home city of Montreal while glare from knock-off Rolex create stunning picture for Pierre Parquoise, photographer for "La Bugle Quotidienne." Him definitely win Pulitzer!

[foxley]

yelxof think Jack Kirby most underrated artist of all time and wish more people would sing his praises.

yelxof think it shame Wolverine is such an underused character.

yelxof love story arcs that run on for months (or, even better, years). Me hate 'done-in-one' or 'done-in-two' stories. Longer writing is always bestest writing.

yelfox hate the art of Neal Adams, George Perez, Adam Hughes, Alan Davis and many others. All artwork should look like Rob Liefeld or Jack Kirby.