Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

[Phil Clark]

Yeah... I watched Tamar Drewe just because of Gemma. I didn't hate the film, but I really didn't like many of the characters. But it was all worth it for the scene where she was in the denim shorts. Wow!!!

[Nyssane]

I'm definitely with you. I despised the movie Van Helsing and didn't even finish watching it because it was so bad. As far as the whole "sexy witches" thing goes I the how the witches in Disney's upcoming Oz: The Great and the Powerful are attractive and shapely because as a child I was always disturbed by the fact that Witches always looked like creepy and eerie hags and that's one reason why when Harry Potter came out I took a breath of relief because the wizards and witches actually looked appealing instead of disturbing and frightening. SyFy's Tin Man also had some nice looking witches too.

That's why I like the haggy versions of witches more. There's no originality in putting a hot chick in a black dress and giving her magic.

[Addams]

I despised the movie Van Helsing and didn't even finish watching it because it was so bad

I don't understand the hate this movie is getting. Was it good ? Not really but that's just one more of those little silly action movies Hollywood loves so much to make. Not all that worst than the rest of the production

[AdamYJ]

I don't understand the hate this movie is getting. Was it good ? Not really but that's just one more of those little silly action movies Hollywood loves so much to make. Not all that worst than the rest of the production

Well, it's probably the dashed expectations of a lot of Universal Monsters fans. It was a big move by Universal to bring their big three monsters (Dracula, Frankenstein and The Wolf Man) back to movie theaters and we were hoping for the best. At least the Mummy movies were decent. They weren't really horror, even in the old-fashioned sense of the original, but they were decent.

[Simbob4000]

Well, it's probably the dashed expectations of a lot of Universal Monsters fans. It was a big move by Universal to bring their big three monsters (Dracula, Frankenstein and The Wolf Man) back to movie theaters and we were hoping for the best. At least the Mummy movies were decent. They weren't really horror, even in the old-fashioned sense of the original, but they were decent.

It was also a horrible boring movie.

[Jared]

I can't get over the scene where Kate Beckinsale realizes she's dancing with a vampire because he doesn't have reflection in the giant mirror...ok, so far so good, standard vamp stuff..then a minute later it's revealed that *everybody* in the damn ballroom is a vampire! That's when you know the director just doesn't care.

[Legato]

I can't get over the scene where Kate Beckinsale realizes she's dancing with a vampire because he doesn't have reflection in the giant mirror...ok, so far so good, standard vamp stuff..then a minute later it's revealed that *everybody* in the damn ballroom is a vampire! That's when you know the director just doesn't care.

That and for a supposed vampire hunter Kate is completely incompetent.

[AdamYJ]

That and for a supposed vampire hunter Kate is completely incompetent.

My problem was how much of a marshmallow they made Frankenstein's monster. It's okay to make him seem a little soft when you're doing the childlike movie monster, but he needs some degree of edge if you use the intelligent version. It didn't help that he needed to be rescued. Twice.

I also had very little sympathy for their Wolf Man. Whereas it was easy to feel sorry for Larry Talbot from the original Wolf Man, I just couldn't manage it for their Velkan Valerious character. Part of me kind of thought that his being turned into a werewolf was the best thing he had going for him.

[Legato]

My problem was how much of a marshmallow they made Frankenstein's monster. It's okay to make him seem a little soft when you're doing the childlike movie monster, but he needs some degree of edge if you use the intelligent version. It didn't help that he needed to be rescued. Twice.

I also had very little sympathy for their Wolf Man. Whereas it was easy to feel sorry for Larry Talbot from the original Wolf Man, I just couldn't manage it for their Velkan Valerious character. Part of me kind of thought that his being turned into a werewolf was the best thing he had going for him.

To this day the best universal movie monster crossover film will always and forever be Monster Squad.

[Phil Clark]

Don't forget Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.

[Greenbats]

eh, I would probably only go see this for Gemma Arterton in leather outfits.
Other wise this movie has no appeal to me whatsoever

[Legato]

Don't forget Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.

Oh yeah. That and the classic Dracula vs The Wolfman

[AdamYJ]

To this day the best universal movie monster crossover film will always and forever be Monster Squad.

You know what the sad part is?

That wasn't Universal. Another studio made that and basically got away with it because 1) They didn't really reference any of the original movies and 2) The monsters in question didn't exactly look like the trademarked images of the Universal monsters.

I think it's hard to do anything with the Universal monsters these days because horror as a Hollywood concept has strayed so far from what the Universal monsters were, plain old, black-and-white, creepy Hayes Code era horror. Creepy for its time but adhering to the old standards enough that it's accessible to pretty much anyone. A face of horror that you can slap on a lunchbox and not feel irresponsible about it.

I fear we've drifted off-topic, though.

[G. Wayne]

I'm definitely with you. I despised the movie Van Helsing and didn't even finish watching it because it was so bad. As far as the whole "sexy witches" thing goes I the how the witches in Disney's upcoming Oz: The Great and the Powerful are attractive and shapely because as a child I was always disturbed by the fact that Witches always looked like creepy and eerie hags ...

There was a lengthy trailer for Oz the Great and Powerful. Sure you have Mila Kunis and Rachel Weisz, but the Wicked Witch still has her Hulk-green skin, and at least in silhouette she still had the same extremely angular face.

As far as HaGW, the witches were a mix. Some were flat out hags but most had a style thing going on that reminded me of Cenobites; skin tight and/or revealing costume on a runway model body, but once you got above the neck there was some extreme deformity going on.

I hadn't looked up any reviews of the movie going in, and was pleasantly surprised to find out it most definitely wasn't PG-13. At first it was like, "Oh, okay, they got the one swearword out of the way fast" and then "Huh. That was oddly gory." then finally "Oh-kay! Didn't expect naked!" as I could almost -feel- the speed lines from the parents in the theatre who took their low tweens son to see the movie trying to cover his eyes as fast as they could.

Sure the plot was threadbare (though still more coherent than Van Helsing) and Arterton (among others) sorta coasted through the movie, but the I think action was well done. And hey, not that anyone else is going to see the movie but SPOILERS! I enjoyed the scene where a troll goes berserk on some corrupt police and puts most Mortal Kombat fatalities to shame in the process. And then they hauled out the gatling gun. ^_^

[Greg Anderson]

It got a 15% on Rotten Tomato. Ouch.