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  1. #1
    Terror On Wheels T51R's Avatar
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    Default Nods to me: Justin Beiber VS Sebastian Vettel

    What it says on the tin: marketing-driven pop icon with a crap-ton of business sense at such an early age, VS the current F1 World Champion whose niche skills make him reknown the world over, just for driving a car. JUSTIN BEIBER versus SEBASTIAN VETTEL, Khazan Arena match, bare knuckle and to the death!

    Who survives?
    "Our cash flow is as if a profligate son keeps borrowing money to spend on Geisha, which is why we don’t have a choice not to enjoy the race." ~DOME CO. LTD, on their 2012 LeMans effort...

  2. #2
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    I'll go with Vettel based on the simple fact that he doesn't look like quite as much of a complete and utter pussy as Bieber.

  3. #3
    To burn and to rise Mormel's Avatar
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    Wow! We really are running out of ideas!

    Now if only we had someone who knows their feats. Any strength/durability showings for Vettel from his F1 career? Crashes he survived, reaction time feats, stuff like that? Anything on how ferocious he is (or isn't) on the track?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mormel View Post
    Wow! We really are running out of ideas!

    Now if only we had someone who knows their feats. Any strength/durability showings for Vettel from his F1 career? Crashes he survived, reaction time feats, stuff like that? Anything on how ferocious he is (or isn't) on the track?
    Well, Bieber WALKED in to a glass door and KO'd himself. WALKED. He didn't run. The impact would've been near nothing.

    And Vettel is older, bigger and I would wager stronger and better conditioned.

  5. #5
    Terror On Wheels T51R's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KJ Stewart View Post
    Well, Bieber WALKED in to a glass door and KO'd himself. WALKED.
    WTF, mate are you bloody serious!?

    That said, every time Vettel's been hit hard in the car he's had safety equipment to help him out. Including a helmet that can withstand being run over by a tank(the new 8860 ones) He's also got a HANS, what seems to be an energy-absorbing/distributing seat and plenty of other squishy things designed around him to take up the impacts.

    He might not be as tough as he seems.

    Wow! We really are running out of ideas!
    I wanted to do Beiber VS Hamilton originally, then remembered that he(Hamilton) has a karate background. Then I thought about Webber and Raikkonen, but Webber's a bloody endurance athlete and Raikkonen, apparently, was strong enough to lift a bloody Kart over an armco(which normally takes two regular people) when he was young. He's probably even stronger now.

    And he's Finnish.

    So I ended up with the most boyish one I could find.
    Last edited by T51R; 11-30-2012 at 07:00 AM.
    "Our cash flow is as if a profligate son keeps borrowing money to spend on Geisha, which is why we don’t have a choice not to enjoy the race." ~DOME CO. LTD, on their 2012 LeMans effort...

  6. #6
    Prince of Duckness Beadle's Avatar
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    Fairly certain the helmet should count as standard equipment for Vettel.
    Yes, I know the voices aren't real. But they do have some VERY good ideas....

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    Quote Originally Posted by T51R View Post
    WTF, mate are you bloody serious!?
    Indeed I am!

    He's done it on more than one occasion as well. This one was filmed, but all he did here was say "oww" over and over again like a little girl.

  8. #8
    Terror On Wheels T51R's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beadle View Post
    Fairly certain the helmet should count as standard equipment for Vettel.
    Oh. Crap.

    Quote Originally Posted by KJ Stewart View Post
    Indeed I am!

    He's done it on more than one occasion as well. This one was filmed, but all he did here was say "oww" over and over again like a little girl.
    I'm at a loss for words, really. Don't think I've heard of anyone weaker than that in my life. I guess sportsmen are far out of his range for Rumbles purposes then; if Sebastian clocks him(even without the helmet) he's not getting back up, even if bloodlusted.

    Reckon he could take Bernie Eccelston but?
    "Our cash flow is as if a profligate son keeps borrowing money to spend on Geisha, which is why we don’t have a choice not to enjoy the race." ~DOME CO. LTD, on their 2012 LeMans effort...

  9. #9
    DOOM DEMANDS MORE NACHOS!
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    Any F1 driver has, at the least, peak human reaction speed (not CB, just peak human) plus the ability to take insane amounts of pounding over long periods of time, while not having that pounding affect their reaction speed. 100% of them engage in fairly intensive physical exercise, because driving a race car is physically demanding.

    They'd lose to a real-life pro boxer or other professional fighter, and would get stomped by most american football, aussie rules football, hockey or rugby players, but outside of that, they'd do pretty well against most normal people and would stomp the living hell out of a 130 lb, 1m70 tall totally featless (outside of segway riding) barely-post-adolescent. Vettel's pretty small - 1m76, 56kg, but that gives him reach, height, definite reaction time and likely physical conditioning advantages, to go with probably equal-ish weight. Money's on the athlete.

  10. #10
    Senior Member AJ Valliant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by big_adventure View Post
    Any F1 driver has, at the least, peak human reaction speed (not CB, just peak human) plus the ability to take insane amounts of pounding over long periods of time, while not having that pounding affect their reaction speed. 100% of them engage in fairly intensive physical exercise, because driving a race car is physically demanding.

    They'd lose to a real-life pro boxer or other professional fighter, and would get stomped by most american football, aussie rules football, hockey or rugby players, but outside of that, they'd do pretty well against most normal people and would stomp the living hell out of a 130 lb, 1m70 tall totally featless (outside of segway riding) barely-post-adolescent. Vettel's pretty small - 1m76, 56kg, but that gives him reach, height, definite reaction time and likely physical conditioning advantages, to go with probably equal-ish weight. Money's on the athlete.
    Not that this is a huge feat, but Bieb's is actually a pretty good baller. I've seen him play in a few celebrity games and he's a a pretty high level school player. I doubt that wins him the fight, but he's not nonathletic by any stretch, just small. He does however get a notch of toughness just for being Canadian. If Vettel was French or Italian instead of German it could be deal breaker.
    Last edited by AJ Valliant; 11-30-2012 at 04:14 PM.

  11. #11
    Reborn Samurai Len Ikari145's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KJ Stewart View Post
    Indeed I am!

    He's done it on more than one occasion as well. This one was filmed, but all he did here was say "oww" over and over again like a little girl.
    ........and this is the guy who makes fangirls swoon and leave their boyfriends for? No wonder his girlfriend left him.

    Dear Christ, I'll never make fun of Edward Cullen again.

  12. #12
    Terror On Wheels T51R's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AJ Valliant View Post
    Not that this is a huge feat, but Bieb's is actually a pretty good baller. I've seen him play in a few celebrity games and he's a a pretty high level school player. I doubt that wins him the fight, but he's not nonathletic by any stretch, just small. He does however get a notch of toughness just for being Canadian. If Vettel was French or Italian instead of German it could be deal breaker.
    What are the BBall rules at his level of the game? The few times I played, the body-checking was nowhere near what it is in rugby or Aussie Rules but it was still pretty intense. If he can ignore that and still boogie around the court I'd reckon he'd have an edge in mobility on his feet. I think Vettel does other sports too, but they're hardly ever alluded to(contract agreements maybe?)
    "Our cash flow is as if a profligate son keeps borrowing money to spend on Geisha, which is why we don’t have a choice not to enjoy the race." ~DOME CO. LTD, on their 2012 LeMans effort...

  13. #13
    Senior Member AJ Valliant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by T51R View Post
    What are the BBall rules at his level of the game? The few times I played, the body-checking was nowhere near what it is in rugby or Aussie Rules but it was still pretty intense. If he can ignore that and still boogie around the court I'd reckon he'd have an edge in mobility on his feet. I think Vettel does other sports too, but they're hardly ever alluded to(contract agreements maybe?)
    He's no where near even a fringe sport pro athlete, he's a decent regular high school basketball player. It's shows some coordination and agility, but just enough to delay things for a while.

  14. #14
    Terror On Wheels T51R's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AJ Valliant View Post
    He's no where near even a fringe sport pro athlete, he's a decent regular high school basketball player. It's shows some coordination and agility, but just enough to delay things for a while.
    My bad, then. I neglected the intensity of the development programmes. Have to agree on that point.
    "Our cash flow is as if a profligate son keeps borrowing money to spend on Geisha, which is why we don’t have a choice not to enjoy the race." ~DOME CO. LTD, on their 2012 LeMans effort...

  15. #15
    DOOM DEMANDS MORE NACHOS!
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    Quote Originally Posted by T51R View Post
    What are the BBall rules at his level of the game? The few times I played, the body-checking was nowhere near what it is in rugby or Aussie Rules but it was still pretty intense. If he can ignore that and still boogie around the court I'd reckon he'd have an edge in mobility on his feet. I think Vettel does other sports too, but they're hardly ever alluded to(contract agreements maybe?)
    High school ball is whistled STRICTLY. Pretty much any non-incidental physical contact gets shut down directly. And I assure you, multimillionaire megastars with entourages of bodyguards and such get all kinds of extra protection. Anyone even guarding him tightly is getting whistled.

    At the end of the day, the high school league/conference/section that he plays in can't be that tough - 5'6" tall (and that's probably a HUGE stretch for Bieber) scrawny males simply can't do much on a court in a high-level game, outside of athletic freaks like Muggsy Bogues, Spud Webb, etc.

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