Meanwhile.... Pt. 2

[zryson]

Spent the last few hours sorting through the remaining boxes of magazines, comics and books (softcover and hardcover) and paperbacks from my friend, examining each item from front cover to back cover. Some of the books took a while to sort through since they were 400-600 pages each. There are now six or seven bags completely full in the hallway and they will all be going to charity later this week.

[Jezebel Bond]

Looking for some info on the best Canadian comic sites with internet stores for online shopping.

So far only found expert comics...

[pakehafulla]

hi hondobrode thanks for your post. Grief is a hard thing I think, not just for the person going through it, but those around them. A professional I saw talked about it with me and thinks being in denial is a good thing, as it allows people to function but when I suggested that being denial about the problem hurts the very person who is going through the illness/trauma we sort of clashed on that point. For myself, I think if you are a friend that means both good and bad and when somebody is deeply traumatised people should be there for them but a lot of people dont see it that way. Its too painful for them. Too distressing. Still as I always point out, if its that way for them can you imagine what its like for the other person?

This type of situation is a very real guage of just how good a friend someone is. Its unfortunate that we generally find that many people cant get past their own issues with sickness/disability. As you say, if youre a true friend then youre there come what may.
My fiancee is a carer for 3 tetraplegic men in a nearby city, and one of the common things in their lives is the isolation they now live in, as most previous friends and even family have drifted away over the years, let alone those who shunned them when they suffered their breaks. The other sad thing is the amount of "normal" people who treat them as being backward (or retarded) solely because they are confined to a chair.
I sincerely hope that your friend has more people in his life like you, and that his journey is okay.

[zryson]

Hi pakehafulla. Looking at my upbringing I think in retrospect it taught me a lot of things, because many of the people I encountered were self-centered and always put themselves first. And I remember thinking I don’t want to walk that path. So for me I have a lot of empathy when somebody is sick or shunned because I know all too well what it is like and my first reaction to them is as a human being. Not an object or number or statistic which I have seen others do, not just in a personal setting but in a professional one.

For my friend in hospital he is now in a room by himself. Many of the friends who live close by, some within just minutes of the hospital have not talked to him let alone seen him since he went into hospital. When some of his items arrived yesterday (the books, comics and magazines) I found it overwhelming (to put it mildly). I just sat on the floor surrounded by them and I remember thinking wow its all so real. He's selling his house, getting rid of everything (his sister is doing it all for him) and I felt very sad because I thought of him in hospital and how isolated he is now but as people have told me many times over the years life is not fair. It never was.

[Johnny P. Sartre]

God, I can not wait for these films to come out:
http://www.criterion.com/films/28065-ministry-of-fear
http://www.criterion.com/films/28406-badlands
http://www.criterion.com/films/634-naked-lunch
http://www.criterion.com/films/27848-a-man-escaped
How I love ye Criterion

[dr chimp]

anyone seen weekend at bernies 2 or is just me?

[Aaron King]

anyone seen weekend at bernies 2 or is just me?

I'm pretty sure I saw it in theaters. It's popular enough to warrant a dance.

[Red Oak Kid]

Hi pakehafulla. Looking at my upbringing I think in retrospect it taught me a lot of things, because many of the people I encountered were self-centered and always put themselves first. And I remember thinking I don’t want to walk that path. So for me I have a lot of empathy when somebody is sick or shunned because I know all too well what it is like and my first reaction to them is as a human being. Not an object or number or statistic which I have seen others do, not just in a personal setting but in a professional one.

For my friend in hospital he is now in a room by himself. Many of the friends who live close by, some within just minutes of the hospital have not talked to him let alone seen him since he went into hospital. When some of his items arrived yesterday (the books, comics and magazines) I found it overwhelming (to put it mildly). I just sat on the floor surrounded by them and I remember thinking wow its all so real. He's selling his house, getting rid of everything (his sister is doing it all for him) and I felt very sad because I thought of him in hospital and how isolated he is now but as people have told me many times over the years life is not fair. It never was.

My mom was in the hospital recently. I really hated going to the hospital. The nurses and doctors seem so detached. They walk around with their cell phones and talk to each other like they are on a tv show. The people who go to see loved ones there are nice to talk to. But I want to avoid hospitals.

[zryson]

hi Red Oak Kid. Hospitals are a confronting environment. I can think of many other places I would rather be but when its a loved one I feel I have to go, because if its so horrible just to visit then imagine being in the hospital. I know from personal experience it can vary tremedously. One time I was mis-diagnosed and sent home only for the head doctor to ring me the following day saying they had got their tests and xrays wrong and then I had to come back. As for the staff being detached its a fine line in many ways because they are told to be detached, to not get too involved, and its that very detachment that allows many to spend years doing their job. The problem is that that fine line because some staff become so robotic clinical and detached, they forget they are dealing with fellow human beings not just a statistic or number on a chart.

[zryson]

A good example of how people can become so detached happened one time when I was waiting in emergency ward at hospital. It was a weekend and crowded. You would front up to the counter, tell them a name and then sit down. I remember a few seats up from me was a man and he was obviously in pain. He was breathing hard and clutching his chest. The person next to him went up to the counter and told the staff at the window about it but they said nobody was available. Everybody was busy and they went back to reading whatever they were reading. Anyway, a few minutes later the man fell down on the ground, he was having a heart attack. It was only then when a cry went up from the emergency ward seeing the person on the ground that the staff person came out into the waiting area and they wheeled him out the back into a room. I remember thinking it was pretty sad, that it had to come to that to get somebody to notice him.

[shaxper]

Just browsed the Batman forum and saw that Barbara Gordon has been voted by that community as having been the worst Batgirl of all time, and by a large margin.

A necessary reminder as to why this is the only forum I post in on a regular basis.

[berk]

Just browsed the Batman forum and saw that Barbara Gordon has been voted by that community as having been the worst Batgirl of all time, and by a large margin.

A necessary reminder as to why this is the only forum I post in on a regular basis.

Every now and then I spout off on one of the Marvel or DC boards, but it's almost always a mistake. Most of the characters I'm interested in aren't that popular and have been altered so drastically from the versions I like that there's no common ground to talk to anyone. You say something about the Black Panther and they're thinking of the Priest version, which I think was a mis-step, though by no means the worse that's been taken with a Marvel character; or you talk about the Eternals, and they're thinking of Sersi in the 80s or 90s Avengers, or the more recent Gaiman reboot, none of which have much to do with the Kirby series, in my view. and so on.

[zryson]

Rang my friend in hospital a short time ago. It took some time to talk to him because they have moved him to another room (I think this is the third or fourth room he's been in now?). He's now in a room with another patient, who is even worse condition (he has severe neurological problems, among other things). My friend was really happy to talk with me. I asked him if he wanted me to send him anything but he said something so sweet "its just enough to talk with you." He said his brother was supposed to be in but didnt come. His sister hasnt been in for days either. He was having dinner when I rang and was looking forward to dessert custard with ice cream! He wasnt doing so well today, had some more tests and it looks like the two operations on his spine has caused even more problems with the rest of his body so some humor was needed and him and I have shared some funny times over the years so I was glad to make him laugh and cheer him up, even for a short while.

[Cei-U!]

zryson, I don't know if my experience will be of any use to your friend as our situations are quite different but here goes:

I've been a quadraplegic my entire life (though because I have no spinal damage, I'm not a quad by the strictest medical definition). I was able to walk a bit in childhood thanks to extremely painful leg braces but I've never been able to use my hands. I use an electric wheelchair for locomotion and I'm typing this holding a homemade wand--a length of plastic tube culled from a clothes hanger and tipped with an eraser--in my teeth. Nonetheless, I graduated third in my class, earned a degree in art from the University of Washington, drew briefly for Marvel (never published, thank god), had a great 13+ year career in information technology and, although sidelined for the past decade by degenerative disk disease, I still work intermittently as a writer about comics history. I have a supportive family and oodles of loyal friends, some going clear back to nursery school. Although I'm single currently (and happy to be so), I've been involved with half-a-dozen women over the years and, yes, when I say "involved" I mean that we were sexual partners. So while a lot of people have let their handicaps grind them down, I have always faced life head-on and pretty much on my own terms.

Of course I never had to face the situation your friend is going through (the psychology of those born with a disability is significantly different than those who start out able-bodied and acquire theirs later) but I hope my story will inspire him. Life can go on despite quadraplegia and it can be awesome. I take it you guys are young (in your '20s, right?), which means he could potentially have decades of fulfilling experioences ahead of him IF he can get past the initial feelings of bitterness, self-pity and isolation. With a good friend like you to encourage him, the battle's already half won. I wish him all the best.

Hope that helps a little.

Cei-U!
I summon the fighting spirit!

[mrc1214]

Just browsed the Batman forum and saw that Barbara Gordon has been voted by that community as having been the worst Batgirl of all time, and by a large margin.

A necessary reminder as to why this is the only forum I post in on a regular basis.

They should all be banned.