You have been captured and brought to a government laboratory where they forcibly "install" the attributes of one of three different actors into your body.
The first option is to have Michael C. Hall as your "Dark Passenger"; creating insightful, extrasensory narration into the various corners of your life. (Like how Harry/Brian appear and detect things for Dexter)
The second is to have the voice of Peter Cullen for the rest of your life. You cannot turn this off and on; you will sound exactly like Optimus Prime to everyone else. Even if you use a voice filter.
And the third will cause you to "think and hear" in Patrick Stewart's voice. This will only function with literature. You will hear "Picard" narrating your novels when you read or revise them, and you will hear Patrick Stewart if someone reads to you. Yes, even if that person is female.
Which will you pick/will drive you insane the slowest?