Terror On Wheels
We experience First Contact...with a hyper-advanced alien race: The Kimi's.
Today, is a day that will live in infamy. Because today, our Earth was contacted by an alien race from extraterrestrial worlds. They display incredible technologies, inconceivable engineering, monstrous capacity for manufacturing, and a military capacity, which although mind-blowing, hasn't been used for over 180 billion years(that's right, through their technology they survived both the end of their 'Verse, and the beginning of the one we now happen to live in. And a few in between)
Their homeworlds are not just planets which are found, they are worlds that were manufactured withinin hours out of the stuff that makes up space-time itself. They build space-time, and control its properties however it suits them.
AND, when a small diplomatic team returns from First Contact, the first thing they say is "I've just been to Finland. My God man...their entire empire, federation, whatever they call it...is made up of KIMI RAIKKONENS!"
-Their homeworlds are ice-cold, and look very much like Finland.
-They practice Ice Hockey as sacred gladitorial combat
-They hate press interviews
-They consume alcohol in vast quantities
-When asked questions, they reply like THIS:
-They're prone to swearing on live TV
Their species is also a strange one:
-Their species and influence spans different Universes. But they don't have a name for it; the couldn't be bothered to come up with one.
-When they learned how to both produce and destroy energy in mutually exclusive ways, all the scientist said was "Yeah, its normal..."
-After steamrolling several intergalactic empires in their distant past, their military leader replied "Not much, really" when asked by the conquered civilizations how happy he felt about the win.
-When late or absent from diplomatic meetings, their most common excuse is "I was having a sh!t."
-If you can't pronounce their names, they will let you call them "James Hunt."
-When operating any form of vehicle, they may dress as gorillas.
-They don't need starships or fighter craft; they tend to go wherever in "bubbles" of space-time, which are usually either black and gold, or chrome silver. In which they're usually dressed as gorillas.
-They all look like Kimi Raikkonen.
We have made first contact with The Kimis.
Can Earth withstand the monosyllabic first wave of communication? And, how will our world change afterwards?
Last edited by T51R; 11-05-2012 at 09:21 PM.
"Our cash flow is as if a profligate son keeps borrowing money to spend on Geisha, which is why we donít have a choice not to enjoy the race." ~DOME CO. LTD, on their 2012 LeMans effort...