|The Canadian devil Wolverine gathers a group of his vile supremacist students together in a Jet plane to transport them to Africa, that they may laugh at the misfortunes of the thousands of dead and dying Wakandans, and revel in their elicit wickedness. Fortunately the proud citizens of Wakanda managed to sense the intent of the mutant devils and using their ability to mystically identify mutants in aircraft, open fire on them before they can land and sprout the seeds of evil. Unfortunately, the Queen Devil known as Storm manages to warn them off before Wakanda can finish preemptively defending itself. T'challa watches, arms crossed as the plane and his former devil bride fade into the background and thanks the Panther spirit that he has managed to defend humanity from evil once more.|
Back in the U.S., extremist/racist/terrorist/prisoner/mutant Scott Summers interrupts a white man when he's talking and gets what he deserves. The warden lays down the law about what happens now when you haven't got the PHOENIX FORCE backing you up. He challenges Scott to a duel, but like the mutie coward he is, Scott wilts like a cat against a water hose. Scott gets put in his own holding pen and has to keep wearing his devo hat, and anytime he talks back our brave human guardsman will be quick to risk their lives and put him back in his place. Not so big now, are ya, Mr. Cyclops?!!! Remember when you tried to bring peace to the world by feeding the hungry and ending all war? Well F--- you too, AMERICA DOES NOT FORGET.
Next scene, Hope tries to pretend that Mutants can read, but quickly burns the letter before Captain 'Merica strolls in. Why did she burn the letter? Who cares, mutants can't read. Captain 'Merica is murderously furious that hope f---'d up the world by bringing back all the mutants, but hides his disgust and pretends that he cares about what she wants to do with her life, because Humans are polite like that. Hope says she wants to be normal, and Captain 'Merica chokes down his laughter at the idea of a mutant pretending it knows anything about being normal, but calmly decides to let hope live. He and Wanda decide to escort Hope to a concentration c-errr, a reducation center--errr, a school or something, where they won't have to look at her mutant face no more. Hope is really happy or something and smiles, and Captain 'Merica doesn't shoot her in the back of the head for some reason.
Next scene, in some dirty place that sucks or whatever, Iron Man and some chick are hunting down Magneto so they can show him who's boss. Iron Man is awesome, but the chick feels comfortable telling him what his business is like they were equals or something, but Iron Man chooses not to kill her because he's a boss and she probably wants him anyway. She's flying without armor on, so she might be a mutant, so ewwwww, but Iron Man will probably kill her later because he don't put up with that. Anyway they get to some crap shack and kick the door in because Magneto is living there because no mutant ever lives in a nice place ever. Magneto heard that a Rich capitalist in battle armor was coming for his 99% ass, and got the hell out of there because it's easy to talk shit on the news when no one is there to CORRECT your unemployed ass, and because Magneto only fights other mutants because he knows humans won't put up with his crap. Tony doesn't call Magneto a bitch, because he doesn't cuss in front of women, not even fat mutant chicks dressed like Miracle Man, but we all know what's up.
Next scene, Captain 'Merica has to talk to one of the mutants at his nasty mutant school. Captain 'Merica thinks it would be funny to make the short mutant fight the tall mutant, but then the short mutant pops his claws and gets blood on his desk, and Captain 'Merica is disgusted by how gross mutants are and has to bounce. He doesn't say goodbye because Captain 'Merica is a H.I.C.K. (Human in charge, killa) and shorty bleeds by using his lame ass claws. Remember when Captain 'Merica had that midget thrown out of a plane over Antarctica just because he could? That was dope. Bastard went and killed a rare Antarctic polar bear though, mutants are such animals, that species is ENDANGERED.
Lastly, Cyclops is still in jail thinking about all the human babies he got to eat when he was the Phoenix, when the guards show up. Unfortunately, they can't club him with billy sticks to help rehabilitate his evil ass, because he's got a visitor. And who IS that visitor??? It's WOLVERINE and HE BROUGHT BEER AND ASKED HIM MANY PEOPLE HE KILLED!!! Wolverine is such an ass, they're just gonna chill, drink some budweisers and laugh about all the humans who DIED. DIED. That's what mutants are!
Anyway, this was a good story because even though mutants are back, the Avengers are still on it, and I heard Avalanche got his head cut open or something, so it'll be okay. That movie made 1.5 billion, so there.