Let me see if I understand you here. If someone liked Alan's age, his history, or his heterosexuality, they're a "grumpy old man". If they think a person becoming paraplegic completely changes them into another thing altogether, you're cool with that.
I'm one of the most insensitive people I know but I'd NEVER consider telling someone in a wheelchair they had been completely changes into something else altogether. Just like you'd probably never tell someone "You're gay? That makes you a totally different person."



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