X-Crescence CLVIII: Nowhere Fast

[teddyeatsyourface]

I don't see the point of missing work to go somewhere you have no real interest in going to; especially if the place you're going to has the potential to cause an anxiety attack.

[Rowenna]

He organized a night out and invited you along, meaning that your birthday being on the same night is a coincidence. So give it a pass. Putting yourself in a potentially vulnerable spot for the mere possibility of a good time doesn't sound fun. You don't have to go out to socialize, anyway. Just invite someone over to watch dvds and eat a meal. Reasonably priced, comfortable level of social engagement, no need to miss out on work.

She. And she keeps saying she wants it to be my night as much as hers, but lets face it, it's so far away that no one I know would consider going.

And yeah, that second suggestion is also unlikely. I don't tend to socialise at all, with anyone. It's one of the reasons I'm considering going. A change of scenery might do me good ... but then, it might also do the opposite. It's a puzzler

it all depends on what you can handle ro...the wife has serious bouts of anxity and really doesn't want to be anywhere or around anyone where she doesn't have some degree of control...conversely, you yourself have said that given your financial situation you can't afford to miss work...

*holds out hands palms up*

party, miss work...party, miss work...

Yeah the finances aren't helping. There's nothing worse than being on a night out you know you can't afford. That alone would send my stress levels pretty high

[Rowenna]

I don't see the point of missing work to go somewhere you have no real interest in going to; especially if the place you're going to has the potential to cause an anxiety attack.

I really *did* want to go when she invited me a couple of months back. I was really looking forward to it. It's only recent changes in circumstances that have made it awkward with working and finances and anxiety and things. Hence the short-notice dilemma

[sweetdumbass]

Maybe your friend suggestion isn't what you need, but you should take a break eventually. I dunno, get some stress-free, you-time.

[Ian Pressman]

And yeah, that second suggestion is also unlikely. I don't tend to socialise at all, with anyone. It's one of the reasons I'm considering going. A change of scenery might do me good ... but then, it might also do the opposite. It's a puzzler

What is this anyway? A pub crawl?

[teddyeatsyourface]

[Rowenna]

Maybe your friend suggestion isn't what you need, but you should take a break eventually. I dunno, get some stress-free, you-time.

Like what? Me-time is not something I'm good at

What is this anyway? A pub crawl?

Club night in a far away city. She's just messaged me saying she's made all these plans for us. I feel really guilty about wanting to not go now :-(

Oh well, can't think about it now, work time. My decisions will have to wait till later. Thanks for letting me talk it out y'all

[Siryn]

[wolvie616]

Yeah ..... no

So anyway, I'm having a bit of a dilemma. It's my birthday next week and a friend whose is a few days later has organised a big night out and invited me along. It's an awfully long way away, in a town I love but which has many bad memories for me, and I barely know anyone who's going to be there. Going will mean I miss out on at least one work shift, cost me an awful lot, and I'm that broke I won't even be able to drink much. Plus my anxiety's been playing me up terribly recently and I'm really worried I may have an attack whilst I'm there, among people who don't know me and with no way of getting home. But on the other hand, I've not been out for ages and am turning into a proper hermit. So the question is, do I bother risking an awful time for what might be a good time, with no guarantees ether way? All constructive advice and snarky comments are welcomed

A club night would do you good, methinks. Nothing's really more uplifting than a good dance-off, after all! Or that could just be me

[Dr. Sonic]

Hi Rowenna, Sounds like you've already made up your mind on the matter - and it's a good decision. All too often, birthdays become these obligatory events where one has to do things they actually don't want to. It should be a day in which you do exactly what you want to. Just let your friend know that going to this places stirs up a lot of anxious feelings in you and it's not how you'd like to spend your birthday. He or she should totally understand, and if he/she doesn't, then it's not the kind of person you want to spend time with in the first place.

[sweetdumbass]

Like what? Me-time is not something I'm good at

Depends on what you like doing. Don't all women like going to the SPA ? Not sexist, I've just been raised by watching TV.

[teddyeatsyourface]

Random people touching while you lay half-naked on a bed?

Sounds like a porno, or BB's New Year's Eve party

[Bronze Badger]

Like what? Me-time is not something I'm good at

Club night in a far away city. She's just messaged me saying she's made all these plans for us. I feel really guilty about wanting to not go now :-(

Oh well, can't think about it now, work time. My decisions will have to wait till later. Thanks for letting me talk it out y'all

So you're not good at me time and you're socially anxious? Are you sure you're a stripper?

Seems like no matter what you decide you're determined to have a bad time. Change your attitude and get out of your self-pity comfort zone. Explain your reservations to your friend and go anyway. Pull yourself out of this funk or forever wallow in it.

[Siryn]

Like what? Me-time is not something I'm good at

If it were me, I'd hang out by the pool, watch some old movies, get a cheap massage from one of the local massage schools, buy some ice cream, go to the park, etc! Just do whatever it is you feel like doing! :P

Club night in a far away city. She's just messaged me saying she's made all these plans for us. I feel really guilty about wanting to not go now :-(

Oh well, can't think about it now, work time. My decisions will have to wait till later. Thanks for letting me talk it out y'all

Don't feel guilty! Did this girl even ask if this was something *you* wanted to do? Cause it doesn't sound that great from your POV, tbh. I mean, you'll have to leave town, you won't be able to invite a lot of your friends, etc. I'd just skip it :\

[Bronze Badger]

Random people touching while you lay half-naked on a bed?

Sounds like a porno, or BB's New Year's Eve party

Pixie_Solanas is cohosting this year. I'll try to shoot you an invite. Stephon from SNL is organizing the festivities: