You Versus a Tyrannosaurus Rex

[penguin-in-leather-jacket]

I stock up on food. The poor thing starves to death outside my condo building.

Alternately, I stock up on food. The poor thing dies as it materializes in the too-small hallway outside my apartment.

Either way, it's a sad but easy win for me.

yep, i win for the same reasons.

[Hiromi]

According to paleontologist, Jack Horner they were actually scavengers because they were slow.
So, I could probably get away.

No one with any credibility believes this anymore, even Horner(whose been at odds with the majority of paleotoligists, has an admitted bias against Rex, and for who predators aren't even his field of expertise, he's a hadrosaur/duckbill expert) has backtracked from it, he calls them "opportunistic predators," like hyenas. Showing he doesn't have a fucking clue about modern predators either(hyenas kill roughly 80% what they eat).

In any case Rex's eye placement was the most advanced of any of the large predators, and it had the largest proportional brain of any of them, neither of those fit a pure scavenger. In addition most scientists agree that a warm blooded predator of Rex's size would not be able to sustain itself on scavenging, the only pure scavengers today are vultures, and they make do because they can soar, which uses little energy. In addition most food web models peg the small predators as more efficient scavengers than Rex. Also no other predator known could fill the apex predator spot for that region, herbivores were too big. Other preds were too small.

It's speed was somewhere between 10 and 35 mph depending on whose doing the study at the time.

Finally there are several hadrasaur and triceratops fossils with partially healed rex damage, clear signs of active predation. The scavenger model is outdated, pretty well debunked, and has been for several years, it needs to die.

[Gordon Smith]

Only during the attack itself, so you can still prep.

I get on an airplane and haul ass to the other side of the country prior to the house being cut off by this impenetrable field. I strongly suggest to my room-mates that they vacate the premises prior to the arrival of the T-Rex. I stay far far away until the situation is resolved by someone who isn't me. Then I try to score a book or a movie deal as the guy whose house was attacked by a supposedly extinct dinosaur.

[KJ Stewart]

You know, the actual standing height of a T-Rex was little more than 2 average adult humans (T-Rex was considerably longer than this, but that means very little given my tactic).

Basically, I live in a detached 2 story house with a large back and front garden, so I don't get the benefits of being 10 stories up with no land outside my windows.

However, I could simply make my way to my roof with an array of supplies (food, drink etc, plus various projectile weapons - sharp stuff like knives and home-made spears to throw at its eyes, rocks to throw at its head, flammable stuff, home-made explosives if I'm feeling adventurous, and I believe we have a very crappy rifle in the garage) and I could spend my waking hours attacking it from the roof and my sleeping hours retreating to my attic for shelter (assuming it takes longer than I would want to be awake to kill it, which I really doubt, because the things aren't that big or durable). I could also rig the gardens with traps (holes, trip wires, spikes, razor wire, possibly the aforementioned explosives).

So yeah, it might be a tad scary and intimidating, and it might take a while, but I'm in no danger whatsoever and I have the means to kill it from out of its reach.

[sun tzu]

Help me out here, making Chlorine Triflouride is a bad idea, right? :P

Yes. Very.
...Unless you're fighting against the god of the undead in his underwater high temple. [/Dungeon Keeper Ami]



In my case...Well, I live on the third floor. I'm not really at risk.
But if I was...I suppose I invest in tripwire. Research* suggests that given its height and built, falling could seriously hurt a T-rex (suggesting they didn't run very fast - a fall would have broken their neck).
Also, a big, fuel-covered torch. Dinosaurs probably hated fire.
And a gun, if I can.


*Said research was from over a decade ago, so it may have been refuted since. I wouldn't know.

[Omegalith]

You know, the actual standing height of a T-Rex was little more than 2 average adult humans

Not really. Certainly it's a lot smaller than most people would think, but it's only a little over the height of two men at the hip, it's head would be over two and a half unless it's leaning over into it's running stance, and it can rear up further. Particularly with the wall of a house to lean on.

Almost certainly not going to be jumping when reared though, small falls are a lot more damaging to larger massed animals.

Basically though, I'd measure the height of your house carefully before jumping to conclusions.

Rocks and knives ain't gonna cut it for anything short of driving a non-bloodlusted one away. I'd start at rifles and chemical weapons and work my way up.

[Omegalith]

Yes. Very.
...Unless you're fighting against the god of the undead in his underwater high temple.

That would be where I got the idea from, yes.

Chlorine Triflouride: For when you absolutely need to set stone on fire whilst underwater.

[KJ Stewart]

Not really. Certainly it's a lot smaller than most people would think, but it's only a little over the height of two men at the hip, it's head would be over two and a half unless it's leaning over into it's running stance

That would be its standing position. T-Rex's standing posture is leaning over.

And T-Rex isn't suitably built to stand vertically for anything more than a second or 2.

Nor could T-Rex run. It would've needed considerably stronger legs to do that. It could reach a brisk walking pace of around 12-13 miles per hour, which is still pretty fast, but not as fast as you'd expect.

and it can rear up further. Particularly with the wall of a house to lean on.

That's only going to help if I'm stupid enough to hang around on the edge of my roof i.e. directly above the second floor windows. I'm not that stupid. I'd be at the top of the sloped roof where it would be, simply put, impossible for the T-Rex to reach me.

Almost certainly not going to be jumping when reared though, small falls are a lot more damaging to larger massed animals.

Very unlikely that it could jump at all, given that it's legs weren't strong enough to even allow it to sprint.

Basically though, I'd measure the height of your house carefully before jumping to conclusions.

I haven't "jumped to conclusions", so I'm pretty safe.

There are points on my roof that are considerably further than 12 metres away from the floor, taking horizontal distance in to account (the lowest part of the sloped roof is around 7 metres off the ground, the highest part is around 10). So even if T-Rex could lift itself with its tail, it still couldn't reach me. And considering it obviously couldn't do that, it's only gonna be reach an absolute maximum of 5 or 6 metres from it's feet to it's mouth. It's getting nowhere near me.

Rocks and knives ain't gonna cut it for anything short of driving a non-bloodlusted one away. I'd start at rifles and chemical weapons and work my way up.

Hence throwing them at its eyes.

Really, it's a big lizard. It's got no superpowers. A couple of hours of one way attacking and it's going down.

[MichaelChen]

According to paleontologist, Jack Horner they were actually scavengers because they were slow.
So, I could probably get away.

Even if we grant that, (and as others have pointed out it is in dispute) scavengers aren't inherently less formidable than pure hunters. In fact, many are more built for fighting than pure hunters.

There seems to be a stereotype that hunters are brave and scavengers are cowardly. It just doesn't work that way. One thing you have to understand is, there are extremely few truly pure scavengers or pure hunters. Meat is meat as far as most carnivores are concerned.

The proportion of scavenging to hunting most carnivores perform is mostly about how they are built. Slow, tanklike carnivores tend to do a lot of scavenging. Their tanklike bodies mean it is difficult to chase down prey, but easy to fight off rivals to prey that has already been killed. A tanklike carnivore can charge into a group eating a dead body, bully them off, and not care if he takes a hits in the process.

Fast, delicate carnivores tend to be nearly pure hunters. They have enough raw power to take down a single herbivore who is running away and panicking, but that's about it. These guys don't want to get into fights with other carnivores because they are fragile, and need every last spec of speed they have.

It is actually quite common for scavengers to bully hunters off of their prey.

So even if we grant the idea that T-Rex was mainly a scavenger, that doesn't make him a wimp. Quite the contrary, he was likely a tanklike-bully who drove faster, more delicately built hunters away from their kills.

He certainly looks more tanklike than, say, the spinocerous, an animal of similar size but clearly built more for fast hunting rather than getting into brawls for the kills of others.

[Beadle]

Chlorine Triflouride: For when you absolutely need to set stone on fire whilst underwater.

So Thursdays then.


Don't ask.

[adam_warlock_2099]

My functional hands that allow masturbation at will frustrate the T Rex to the point that he stops his attack.

[Omegalith]

That would be its standing position. T-Rex's standing posture is leaning over.

And T-Rex isn't suitably built to stand vertically for anything more than a second or 2.

Nor could T-Rex run. It would've needed considerably stronger legs to do that. It could reach a brisk walking pace of around 12-13 miles per hour, which is still pretty fast, but not as fast as you'd expect.

It's "Moving at speed" stance, if you want to call it not running rather than merely being proportionally slow, has it's head only a little over hip height. At rest, it's body tilts up at a slight angle. Pretty dramatic shift when it commits to movement.

That's only going to help if I'm stupid enough to hang around on the edge of my roof i.e. directly above the second floor windows. I'm not that stupid. I'd be at the top of the sloped roof where it would be, simply put, impossible for the T-Rex to reach me.

Unless it spends a few hours ramming out a support structure and kills both of you whilst you're plinking knives off it's skull.

Very unlikely that it could jump at all, given that it's legs weren't strong enough to even allow it to sprint.

Elephants certainly can't. Still, it's a biped, so whatever minor ability it may have to clear the ground with both legs might qualify.

I

haven't "jumped to conclusions", so I'm pretty safe.

There are points on my roof that are considerably further than 12 metres away from the floor, taking horizontal distance in to account (the lowest part of the sloped roof is around 7 metres off the ground, the highest part is around 10). So even if T-Rex could lift itself with its tail, it still couldn't reach me. And considering it obviously couldn't do that, it's only gonna be reach an absolute maximum of 5 or 6 metres from it's feet to it's mouth. It's getting nowhere near me.

And how is that supposed to be close enough to aim properly with throwing knives, exactly? Even leaning out my first floor window I can't imagine hitting a moving target the size of a melon a third of the way to the ground.

Hence throwing them at its eyes.

Which is going to tick it off slightly, if you're not incredibly lucky. Certainly not going to do anything lethal even if you manage to blind it. It's hardly invulnerable, but much like a Rhino it's gonna be built like an organic attempt at a tank and'll need more heft to damage than a normal predator would.

[Hiromi]

One thing to ask is can your building withstand a 9 ton animal with a head like a battering ram actively trying to tear it down. Elephants do a lot of property damage despite being 3-4 tons lighter on average.

[Sharpandpointies]

One thing to ask is can your building withstand a 9 ton animal with a head like a battering ram actively trying to tear it down. Elephants do a lot of property damage despite being 3-4 tons lighter on average.

Mine is a twelve-story, two-wing building that's quite broad. It was made in the mid-late 80's, back when building materials were basically all concrete and steel.

I figure the Tyrannosaurs isn't knocking it down. :)

[Ghost]

I suppose my best bet would be to dig a lot of trap pits and hope I can get it to trip. What with the square-cube law, I might get it to break it's legs or something.