The link to my NPC's.
Black Knight of SO
Co-COTM for Feb 2006
The Midnight Rider.
Owner of SO's W/I Shop.
Bearer of the Rumbles Matrix of Leadership
Wins on CBR
I tried to think of examples where they are used at once, and turns out both of them are from Portal 2:
"Here come the test results. You are a horrible person. That's what it says. A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that."(Note that insults themselves are very blunt, but GLaDOS uses sarcasm to kinda frame them in fake civility.)"That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking; it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid'."
"This doesn't look easy. But I bet it is!"
"Optimism through stalwart skepticism is a defect not everyone is lucky enough to be cursed with."
Bluntness is straight to the point and doesn't bother with framing. Sarcasm require a certain degree of...well, I would say sophistication, but that doesn't seem right.
Anyway, he can write whatever he wants in his bio, so this isn't really relevant and I don't want to have to kick myself off the thread for starting a debate on something that has nothing to do with the RPG. So please respond on the Black Hole if you want ot continue.
Suffering is a fact of life. You survive if you find a reason to endure it.
On the case and in space...
So we have a chap here with a certain amount of grief in him and really strong sense of duty. He wants to be like his dad and I think the most obvious source of conflict for him is going to be him holding up to his (potentially inflated) view of the standard set by his father - doubtless a man of unimpeachable conduct and duty. Despite the fact that he is going to the finest school in the city and has powers that will make him a far more effective officer of the law than his father could ever hope to be, he still fills dissatisfied, perhaps like he is letting his family down on some level?
I note his mother is curiously absent from the backstory. Lots of scope there - perhaps killed the mob, perhaps taken by illness, perhaps death in childbirth, perhaps a single blemish on the spotless record of his father? We haven't really discussed the idea of prostitution in Eden at all yet, but it is the oldest profession for a reason and I'd imagine it will survive even after the apocalypse.
I'm personally thinking it would be most interesting if his mother left his father because of his unwillingness to leave Sector 13. While we've discussed at great lengths that Sector 13 isn't as comparatively terrible as the slums that exist today, it is not a nice place. I could totally buy a wife, overwrought by the danger of her husband's career and with a young child to care for or perhaps just on the way, laying down an ultimatum that either they leave this place or she leaves him.
That then raises the question of why the father was left with Marko. Would his mother not have taken him with her? I'm sure you've considered this but I figure I'd like to put the idea out there.
So, this naturally follows on to how Marko sees other people. Does he really engage with them or does he just see them as projects and statistics that need 'saving'? Does he let his emotions dictate his moral compass or does he obey the letter of the law in a more clinical manner? Both will provide an interesting foil to a character like Boss Bali, for example, who operates on a much looser, but still just as strong, sense of justice. Currently I see him as more of a stickler for rules because he's seen what can go wrong when people break them.
Indeed; his exposure to the very worst examples of crime and poverty in Eden will make for a good source of conflict in him as he socialises with the very rich and powerful, people who could effect change in Sector 13 with a mere snap of their fingers. That might frustrate him that they could do more than both he and his dad could ever do in their lives with just one big fat cheque. It might well eat at him that the rich can be seen as "better," than his father just because they can buy problems away for people they don't know or care about. Does he necessarily want that? For people to be saved but not through any kind of systemic social change, just by the houses being made nicer and the schools refurnished? Does he have that rebellious streak that would see him block someone from interfering with his streets.
He's still young and passionate to I'd imagine he'd be highly territorial over his, and his father's, jurisdiction.
Oho, you could have a lot of fun here. Plenty of room for fun in here.
A great addition to the mix, there's a huge amount of potential for an interesting execution to be done here.
~Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste. I've been around for a long, long, year, stole many a man's soul and faith.
So if you meet me, have some courtesy, have some sympathy, and some taste. Use all your well-learned politesse, or I'll lay your soul to waste.
I made Miburo cry on his birthday.
Reached Demon-God Status
My Cat Is Afraid of the Vacuum Cleaner
After reading many of these reviews, I think I'm going to rewrite Skye's history to flesh her out.
Question: Without reading all of the bios, is anyone from sector 9?
The futuristic-rustic feel I got from Elewa's appearance definitely translates into his backstory and personality. I can't help feeling that you've drawn some inspiration from Lennie Small in characterizing Elewa and my own personal image of him aside, I could definitely see a performance of him by John Malkovich.CHARACTER HISTORY & PERSONALITY: Elewa was from a working family. His father was an electrician, his uncle was an electrician, his mother was a mechanic, his brothers, except for his elder brother, were all workers in the industrial areas of Sector 12. They weren't poverty-stricken but with low wages and a large family with six children, money was mostly tight. It was his destiny to be another mechanic and diligently live out his days fixing things and servicing power cables. It wasn't the most glamorous of lives to be born for but the slow moving and simple Elewa was more than happy to take his place and, from the age of 9, that is what he did.
However, fate had other ideas, Elewa found himself able to manipulate and fix electronic cables without powering them down, live current coursing through his body with no effect. He was easily able to work on power grids that were in use with little more than his dreadlocks becoming slightly static. He became something of a local treasure, the young worker who could handle red hot metals and solder with his bare hands. It was an odd thing to be famous but slow moving and simple Elewa was more than happy with his lot in life.
Then, the academy showed up one day. Said to his papa that his son was special. Should have been taken years ago but they didn't come down to Sector 12 that much and who knew that treasure like Elewa would be hidden in the walls, mindlessly repairing power lines, when he could be doing so much more. He had to be educated, taught to read and write better than he did, become a part of a special class of better people.
Slow moving and simple Elewa was upset by this, he didn't want to leave his family, his brothers and sister and their tiny home. He missed the structures of the cable tunnels and power grids, he missed his friends and his job and being able to smoke while he worked. Still, this was where life had brought him and he would see how things turned out.
Elewa is a quiet and generally fairly shy man, a gentle soul who moves and thinks quite slowly. He doesn't go in for confrontation that much and will instead opt to be passive. He usually smiles without thinking and enjoys a good joke. He doesn't have great people skills, mostly choosing to nod and smile where necessary, and prefers working on machines because he can see how they work. He has a more assertive side but it only shows when he is either working or around people he feel comfortable with. He has a long term girlfriend who he has known all his life and been romantically involved with for just over three years now. (Profile for her to follow)
He always carries a pretty large toolbag with him, the bag contains various tools; including a large wrench, a set of tiny screwdrivers, a soldering iron and a good supply of solder, devices for measuring voltage, a huge variety of transistors and spare parts and whole host of other odds and sods. It also contains several packs of cigarettes which have varying amounts of cigarettes in them depending on how old they are.
PERSONAL SKILLS: Excellent electrician and mechanic. Has a fine analytical mind and loves to tinker with machines if even if he's not always successful at it. He smokes a lot and has a weed habit.
You say it best in his profile concerning Elewa’s simplicity and it’s something I’d say works into the “Country Mouse in the Big City” vibe you look to be working towards. That said, I absolutely adore that you’ve given Elewa a skill atypical of what would be expected of his personality. It does plenty to characterize him beyond what could be a potentially stifling stereotype. What strikes me about what you do particularly well here is the way you’re giving a very clear image of Elewa through the use of a ‘type’ and following this through the addition of details that prevent him from being a cardboard cutout. That earns him A LOT of points in my book. I’d say at this point he’s the type of character who won’t need to rely on the crutch of an exaggerated characteristic and I would recommend avoiding writing him around a single trait, although that is entirely up to you.
That said, one thing that does worry me is that while I’m getting a clear image of Elewa as a character, I’m not finding it as easy to see how you will approach his characterization in the RP. While, as I said, I can see a “Country Mouse in the Big City” story being a direction under which he should be able to head, I don’t think it’s going to be a long-term solution. At this stage, I’m not really getting the impression that he has any direction to go in terms of character growth. The best possibility I can imagine would be the effects his leaving has on his family, although, and this is merely my own personal preference, I do find that stories focused on relationships between characters not in the immediate physical presence of one another tend to get tired very quickly.
Don’t get me wrong, I think Elewa is a heavily rounded character and has enough distinguishing traits to support him as a good character. However, I am nervous that he may become dangerously static and I’d seriously suggest adding some potential for dynamic growth to him.
All said and done however, I think he’s definitely set to have a very good start in this RP.
As for why Arthur Van Clef hasn't moved to a higher Sector, I mentioned that he would be a small fish there, while he's probably the largest fish in Sector 13. And more sympathetically, it is where all his friends and connections are.
a thought, if he has a strong potential conflict over the financially powerful, what will he think of the supernaturally powerful? If he can literally fight for weeks on end with his eventual stamina stat, and objectively eclipses his father in ability to help, eventually eclipses any 50 thousand Paragons, what will that mean to him? What about someone like Hilda Agnar, who was his father's boss and could do things his father never could? This character might be able to have a very complex and interesting version of Rivia's conflict over a dislike of superpowered people. Just a thought.
Not saying that he would necessarily want to move to Section 1, but there are 11 sectors between 13 and 1 and they get progressively fancier. There's going to be some place where someone of his economic standing would be expected to live.As for why Arthur Van Clef hasn't moved to a higher Sector, I mentioned that he would be a small fish there, while he's probably the largest fish in Sector 13. And more sympathetically, it is where all his friends and connections are.
"This doesn't look easy. But I bet it is!"
"Optimism through stalwart skepticism is a defect not everyone is lucky enough to be cursed with."
Okay, with JianGeGe's character posted, we have new powers to assess.
- Richard Yao IV:
Pulse Thrust - Okay, so this allows Dick to speed up existing motion in a liquid. As read, it doesn't give him hydrokinesis, but does allow him to, I dunno, give folks heart attacks? (My guess for what happens with a significantly boosted bloodflow) This one's a bit confusing, since he needs to be able to feel the liquid's flow, which I'd assume takes at least a few seconds for, say, taking a pulse, but needs only a light tap to activate? Doesn't seem too bad, though, since it only affects existing flows and requires contact.
Maybe give the guy a martial art based on contact and redirection or something that would allow him to grab wrists in combat as a matter of course.
Pulse Sonar - Now this one, I'm not sure about. It seems expressly designed to allow Dick to bypass his balancing restrictions for Pulse Thrust and whatever else he ends up getting. Here's how I see it: Dick uses Pulse Thrust. The pulse travels through the ground and thus through any groundbound characters, marking out their blood. Dick then has the explicit ability to Pulse Thrust all their blood flows without meeting any of the normal requirements for doing so. This isn't an inherently bad power, but I'd probably save it for a power slot at a higher level, since its main function is to enhance your other Water powers, and abilities bought at higher levels are usually expected to be more powerful.
I should note that I don't see your point totals anywhere. Is it safe to assume you chose an even split of 5 Water and 5 Speed? (Hypothetically, with 2 abilities in Water, it could be as much as 9 Water and 1 Speed, but I think only one player has actually done that.)