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  1. #271
    Dilf εnthusiast Justin K.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yanapryde View Post
    Okay. That's all. Elitist, entitled, out-of-her-time-Plaza Queen. That's what Magma should be.
    Ali$on Cre$tmere

  2. #272
    Brilliance in a Bottle Boozier's Avatar
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    CyberHubbs, that was...INCREDIBLE!

    Yes, I put Justin at first probably because he posted before me. Anyway, I love it. So fun!
    Last edited by Boozier; 02-28-2012 at 09:09 PM.

  3. #273
    Anarchist Cat Owner pryde15's Avatar
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    Great work Cyberhubbs!

  4. #274
    Sad Hawkguy in the snow CyberHubbs's Avatar
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    Thanks. I'm already picking it apart in my head, but that's par for course with my writing.
    I know Kevin Nichols through a guy that knows a gal. Small world!

    If nihilism didn't take some delight in destruction one might suspect nihilists were an unnaturally morbid sort.
    -Theophilus

  5. #275
    Sad Hawkguy in the snow CyberHubbs's Avatar
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    No scathing critiques?
    I know Kevin Nichols through a guy that knows a gal. Small world!

    If nihilism didn't take some delight in destruction one might suspect nihilists were an unnaturally morbid sort.
    -Theophilus

  6. #276
    C'est kinky Seresecros's Avatar
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    STORY ONE: LAYLA MILLER

    Panel 1:
    Layla Miller is sat flicking through a Marvel handbook. Monet and Siryn stand in the foreground, watching her.

    MONET: What's she reading?

    SIRYN: No idea

    Panel 2:
    Close on the page that Layla is currently looking through. It's a picture of WITHER, the New X-Men nobody cared about

    Panel 3:
    Back to Layla on the sofa.

    LAYLA: Too withery

    Panel 4:
    The same. Layla flicks the page

    Panel 5:
    Layla smiles

    LAYLA: HA!

    Panel 6:
    Layla walks off. The book is left lying on a coffee table, open at a certain page

    Panel 7:
    Monet and Siryn have picked up the book and are reading it

    MONET: What's an Onyxx?


    STORY TWO: Danger

    Panel 1:
    Danger is sat by the X-Men's pool, reading a book. I imagine she is probably reading one of Marjorie Liu's novels.

    Panel 2:
    Madison Jeffries sticks his head into the panel, about to make his move on her

    Panel 3:

    JEFFRIES: I bet a lot of guys are only interested in you because you're dangerous, but I prefer a girl with plenty of roo-

    Panel 4:
    Danger punches Jeffries while still reading her novel.


    STORY THREE: STORM

    Panel 1:
    We see two doors leading into two rooms. The left door is slightly ajar, and Kavita Rao/MadJeff are in there. Kavita is putting an ice compress on Jeff's face. The right door is locked.

    KAVITA: ...you're sure there's nothing you want to tell me?

    Panel 2:
    Storm enters from the left. She is tight on the wall, being secretive and stealthy (in her mind)

    JEFF: I fell down the stairs, Rao. That's all.

    Panel 3:
    Storm leaps towards the right-hand door, opening it

    Panel 4:
    She peeks out the door, holding an urn in her hands

    Panel 5:
    She forward-rolls back the way she came

    Panel 6:

    JEFF: Storm realises we have CCTV cameras in this corridor, right?

    KAVITA: Her thieving isn't what it used to be.


    STORY FOUR: ONYXX

    Panel 1:
    Onyxx holds a martini

    THOUGHT BUBBLE: Man, it's so AWESOME being alive again

    Panel 2:
    He walks into an OPULENT room, holding the drink. Big splashy panel. The room looks fabulous, with a piano and marble columns and all kinds of fancy stuff. Onyxx is living the dream!

    SFX (on the opposite side of the room to Onyxx): ting! ting!

    Panel 3:
    He enters a smaller room. Layla is sat on a sofa, being wafted with a fan by Icarus.

    LAYLA: Finally! I've only been waiting forever!

    Panel 4:
    She grabs the martini from him and downs it

    Panel 5:
    Close on Onyxx's smiling face

    THOUGHT BUBBLE: I love being Layla Miller's undead sex slave

  7. #277
    Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seresecros View Post
    THOUGHT BUBBLE: I love being Layla Miller's undead sex slave
    Pssh. Layla already has one/multiple undead sex slave(s). But I loved this, especially the first two.
    PAD's All-New, All-Different X-Factor: From The Beginning
    X-Poster of the Month & Year: (August) 2012 | March 2013
    Come to Deathstrike & .AČ: Mutant League Champions 2013

  8. #278
    Anarchist Cat Owner pryde15's Avatar
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    The third one actually made me snort, good job Seresecros!

  9. #279

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    You people are way to talanted to be working in boring jobs that don't allow you to do this full time. Great work everybody!

  10. #280
    C'est kinky Seresecros's Avatar
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    did anybody else want HARSH CRITICAL ANALYSIS? sorry for dropping off the map recently

  11. #281
    Sad Hawkguy in the snow CyberHubbs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seresecros View Post
    did anybody else want HARSH CRITICAL ANALYSIS? sorry for dropping off the map recently
    Go right ahead.
    I know Kevin Nichols through a guy that knows a gal. Small world!

    If nihilism didn't take some delight in destruction one might suspect nihilists were an unnaturally morbid sort.
    -Theophilus

  12. #282
    Anarchist Cat Owner pryde15's Avatar
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    Seresecros, what is the name of your entry?

  13. #283
    C'est kinky Seresecros's Avatar
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    Just a few quick points - Tabby wouldn't ever say "ariel and I", because that's accurate grammar and Tabby don't roll like that. She'd also use more contractions."I've" dated a fricking god, etc. After she says "then I dated a hero she could say "well, a new mutant" under her breath. She shou;dn't turn to face the trailer as she blows it up, but should maintain eye contact with Gomi. Excise the "fine. one date" bit and just have her say "you'd better be a good dancer". I like your script

    I'm not sure if the guy can point at the map and be smacked within the same panel, but maybe he could.

  14. #284
    C'est kinky Seresecros's Avatar
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    It's called "Seresecros is the greatest"

  15. #285
    Sad Hawkguy in the snow CyberHubbs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seresecros View Post
    Just a few quick points - Tabby wouldn't ever say "ariel and I", because that's accurate grammar and Tabby don't roll like that. She'd also use more contractions."I've" dated a fricking god, etc. After she says "then I dated a hero she could say "well, a new mutant" under her breath. She shou;dn't turn to face the trailer as she blows it up, but should maintain eye contact with Gomi. Excise the "fine. one date" bit and just have her say "you'd better be a good dancer". I like your script

    I'm not sure if the guy can point at the map and be smacked within the same panel, but maybe he could.
    I actually mulled over the "Ariel and I" bit while writing it. Good eye. Just never went back and changed it.

    "Fine." is kind of my "Damn it." moment in a Brubaker comic. Usually, it's something like "Fine. Fine. We'll do it your way, etc etc." I slipped that in as my signature at the bottom sort of deal.

    But, yeah, I agree with your points.
    I know Kevin Nichols through a guy that knows a gal. Small world!

    If nihilism didn't take some delight in destruction one might suspect nihilists were an unnaturally morbid sort.
    -Theophilus

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