Make Me an X-Vignette I: The Brave and the Bold

[yanapryde]

fortyseven,

Marrow fan, right?
Attitude. Chip on her shoulder. Survivor. Extracts phallic weapons from inside her body to attack others.
I get it.
Respect.

[Dudebro McTypo]

OMG I love it!!!! :D This is another one that I hope gets picked, I'd love to see it illustrated- a lot of the panels sound like they'd really lend themselves to looking incredibly artistic. The song matched perfectly and you integrated it into the story with just the right timing.

And the ending...wow. Just wow.

Plus, I always like when writers acknowledge/use previous continuity instead of just acting like their version of the character is the only one there's ever been. You did that really well, showing how Hellion must be feeling instead of just the one-dimensional bully he's sometimes painted as. All in all, great work.

Thank you

We'll just have to see what happens

[fortyseven]

fortyseven,

Marrow fan, right?
Attitude. Chip on her shoulder. Survivor. Extracts phallic weapons from inside her body to attack others.
I get it.
Respect.

Your art is just so pretty.

[yanapryde]

Your art is just so pretty.

Thank you so much. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the praise.
I was fortunate enough to have an outstanding writer to guide my hand.

[pryde15]

Great work big g! The Eminem song really worked with the Hellion vignette.

[Time_to_Zap]

ULTIMATE X-MEN 2.0: BEAST'S LAMENT, BY: MrV

Note to artists: Storm has noticeable features of a realistic black woman, such as wider nostrils and richer lips.

Also, Beast never got blue fur in my story. His appearance is human like the original Henry McCoy. Here is an image of non-blue Ultimate Beast for reference. This artist drew him without body hair, so consider that an art mistake because he is naturally hairy.


Below are samples of what the Ultimate Brood, Shadow King and Onslaught look like.


PAGE ONE

Panel 1: Opening shot establishing the ominous place known as the mindscape as the setting of the story. The place is dark with stormy bright clouds and nebulas. Most importantly you find swarms of Brood everywhere. A lone Brood can be seen chomping at the edge of the panel, as if wanting to crawl out of the page afterwards.

BEAST (voice): The Mindscape. Muse to the greatest minds of sci-fi; the source of imagination. Birthplace of dreams and nightmares and sanctuary for the most cherished memories. There are no secrets here, only open doors. This is also territory to the entities known as Brood, the distant cousins of the Argiopes, sentinels of time travel. This is the place many believe we go when we die... it might as well be Hell.


Panel 2: We see the Shadow King grabbing a man in Onslaught armor by the neck. However, one of Onslaught's clawed hands releases a blast of telekinetic energy, stripping away the dark liquid disguise from Shadow King like a symbiote, exposing patches of the human underneath.

BEAST (voice): My name is Henry McCoy. Everyone calls me Hank, or used to. I was 27 years old when I died. Today the woman I love was in danger, and I came to rescue her from the man known as Amahl Farouk, the Shadow King. While I succeeded in freeing her from Shadow King's control, it was the Professor who ultimately defeated our foe...


Panel 3: The nude corpse of a middle aged muscular man who floats aimlessly as two Brood surround him, snaring his limbs with their tails and ingesting the dark liquid to leave only an ordinary human. Half of the man's face resembles Shadow King's, the other half is human. Within the same panel we see Charles Xavier dressed like Onslaught removing his Magneto-esque helmet. Flying beside the Professor we see Marvel Girl enveloped in a fiery aura.

XAVIER/ONSLAUGHT II: "Storm and Beast need you, Jean."

MARVEL GIRL: "But Professor!"

XAVIER: "I will hold back the Brood. GO!"


Panel 4: Here we find Marvel Girl landing where Storm kneels down cradling an agonizing Beast in her arms.

STORM: "Hank! Answer me, please!"

BEAST (weakly): "Hey, happy birthday..."

STORM: "Henry! We're gonna go home soon, hang in there!"


Panel 5: A teary-eyed Storm turns to Marvel Girl and asks her to help me.

STORM: "Jean! Do something!"

MARVEL GIRL: "Ororo, we can't..."

BEAST: "Babe, listen to me..."


Panel 6: Close up to Beast holding Storm's hand.

BEAST (weakly): "I will never leave your side..."

STORM: "What?"

BEAST: "I never have...

STORM: "You're gonna make it!"

BEAST: "Sorry about everything. I totally crashed yer party, didn't I?"


Panel 7: Storm weeping as Beast smiles at her, barely able to keep his eyes open.

STORM: "No! You didn't! Don't apologize!"

BEAST: "Ororo..."

STORM: "Stop it! It's me who must! I-I didn't mean what I said back then--"

BEAST: "I know…"

STORM: "Hank?"


PAGES TWO AND THREE

Two page spread: The following two pages are a montage of scenes from the life of Henry McCoy. Since all the images are juxtaposed together they do not count as panels.

The scenes depicted are the following:

• A young Henry as an obese little boy, hanging upside down from the monkey bars, reading a Chemistry book.
• As a teenager, Henry stares in awe at his large feet which no longer fit into his shoes.
• A barefoot Henry sits atop a tree branch reading the Mensa Research Journal and eating an apple. He still looks overweight.
• Teenage Henry, unnaturally hairy for a teenager, bench presses 350 lbs. with little effort at the gym. By now he is lean and muscular.
• Teenage Henry, holding a bouquet of flowers, looks in sadness as the girl he likes walks away from him in the company of a jock.
• Teenage Henry curls up on the ground as he gets beaten by his drunk father, who holds up a broken glass bottle. His mother yells at her husband.
• Adult Henry (as Beast) and Ororo Munroe (as Storm back when she had waist-length micro braids) in their X-Men uniforms. Beast carries a little girl in his arms, while Storm summons lightning to destroy a Sentinel above them.
• A close up of Ororo and Henry kissing each other, both in civilian clothing, under the shade of a tree. There are tossed textbooks beside them.
• A nude Beast is shown strapped down on an operating table. His chest, arms and legs have surgical sutures on them and his body hair is shaved off. Beside him is Dr. Cornelius of Weapon X holding a bloody scalpel. There are many blood stained surgical tools on view. X-rays of Beast's cranium are also visible. A wide window behind them shows Colonel John Wraith and Sabretooth watching.
• Beast getting hit in the back by debris from a Sentinel attack when he tries to push Alex Summers and Dazzler out of the way.
• Storm looks down at the deceased Henry under the rubble, with tears in her eyes.
• Beast's rotting corpse digs himself out of the grave, reaching out and gasping for air.
• Beast's corpse is healed by David Xavier/Proteus/Onslaught and lies on the ground breathing heavily and shivering as he curls up in a ball, weeping. Beside Onslaught is Professor X, who tries to stop his son.

Page 3, Panel 1 (a lone panel at the bottom of the page): The montage ends and we see Storm exchange looks with Beast, who can no longer keep his eyes open but continues to speak. Marvel Girl, surrounded by the fiery aura, points her hand at the couple, and uses her telepathy on them.

STORM: "Goddess!"

MARVEL GIRL: "He wants you to see his life, Ororo. He wants you to know him like no one else has."

BEAST (weakly): "I never left you side, babe… like you didn't leave mine."


PAGE FOUR

Panel 1: A flashback scene shows Storm (with short hair and goth appearance) sitting beside Henry's gravestone at the Xavier Institute. She talks as if there was someone else beside her.

BEAST (voice): "You used to visit me everyday, you still came even when dating Logan. You spoke to me of your adventures, your worries, your fears, and your dreams."


Panel 2: Similar to Panel 2, except this shows Beast as a ghost, sitting on the opposite side of his gravestone, looking at Storm.

BEAST (voice): "And I was there, the whole time, listening. I would say I love you, but you could only feel my presence. How I longed your touch… I remember a dream in particular you told me about. You and I had started a family and grew old together…"


Panel 3: Close up to Beast with a smile on his face.

BEAST: "Happy together…"


Panel 4: Storm looks at Beast. Everything is silent. We can see the Brood still surrounding them and Jean placing her hand over Storm's shoulder.


Panel 5: Close up to Storm giving Beast a kiss on the lips one last time. More tears roll down her cheeks.

STORM: "I love you too."


Panel 6: Storm embraces Beast's lifeless body. Behind her we see Marvel Girl crying as well.

THE END

Oh, my God...sooooooo sad. :( Even though I already read your fanfic, this really made it hit home like it never could in outline-form. So emotional, so deep...perfect. :)

I feel like you've got a good awareness of what an artist can do, and set them up for chances to show off their stuff- like with the amazing splash panel and the background of the mindscape. Maybe you should sign up to be one of the artists for this, as well, if you have a scanner.

[Dudebro McTypo]

Great work big g! The Eminem song really worked with the Hellion vignette.

Maybe Hellion can become the X-Men's angry white boy raper lol

[Come To Deathstrike]

maybe hellion can become the x-men's angry white boy raper lol

lolololololololololololololololol

[MrV]

Oh, my God...sooooooo sad. :( Even though I already read your fanfic, this really made it hit home like it never could in outline-form. So emotional, so deep...perfect. :)

I feel like you've got a good awareness of what an artist can do, and set them up for chances to show off their stuff- like with the amazing splash panel and the background of the mindscape. Maybe you should sign up to be one of the artists for this, as well, if you have a scanner.

That sounds like a good idea. I have all the equipment: scanner, pens, Copic markers, Bristol papel, non-photo blue pencils, etc. Where do we sign up to be artists?

[pryde15]

That sounds like a good idea. I have all the equipment: scanner, pens, Copic markers, Bristol papel, non-photo blue pencils, etc. Where do we sign up to be artists?

Sign up will be on friday!
Do you guys think I should make a separate thread for the artist portion?

[Seresecros]

not a single darkstar vignette yet wtf

[pryde15]

not a single darkstar vignette yet wtf

They just don't understand the magic, Seresecros.

[Boozier]

not a single darkstar vignette yet wtf

You about 30 hours to write one.

[Washout]

Also, Washout, your script is hard to read in that format.

I know it's bad, and it's not the format I wrote it in. I just didn't want to mess with CBR's shitty formatting. However, everyone else seems to be reading it just fine, so if it gets chosen, I'll e-mail my artist the correctly formatted version.

[pryde15]

Okay, I just sent out a pm to 65 artist from this forum so hopefully we'll have a few (majority) of them partake in our new phase! If any of you have any art friends who haven't participated in the X-Jam before please let them no about this project!