Make Me an X-Vignette I: The Brave and the Bold

[pryde15]

Is it possible to get in on this? As a writer?

Yeah, I'll add you to the list.

[Faded]

Can I----?!

[Seresecros]

Go on, I dare you.

OKAY I WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU DID WRONG

1.1: no need to write "beat". simply write a second line of dialogue for cyclops. LAY IT OUT LIKE THIS

CYCLOPS: Hello
CYCLOPS: I am a deviant

1.4: Pix's 'like' should be at the END of her sentence, not the start.

3.2 Storm should not advance on Nekra. They should remain far apart, posturing, which makes it more exciting when Nekra suddenly flies over and smashes Storm in the face

3.6: Nekra shouldn't be in contact with either of the others, yet. Panel 3.5 shows them watching her charge, panel 3.6 shows her delight at charging. Then her attack happens in 4.1, as written.

Nekra should grab a lighter off Dazzler or light a match against Magik's hairy goat-legs. I would also expect Pixie to be visible in one of the windows, watching in shock and awe.

Can I----?!

I DEMAND THAT YOU DO

[Come To Deathstrike]

I always go to Seresecros for editing. Sometimes he says things like "MORE DICK" and I'm all like...whaaaaat?

I agree with all points except for Storm getting in Nekra's grill. If this story was 6 pages long, Magik would be utterly humiliated. Unfortunately I only had enough room to humiliate the sacred goat, not the demon one.

[Seresecros]

you don't need "more" dick when magik is around

[Come To Deathstrike]

I think Magik is more of a thunderous cunt.

[Seresecros]

thunderous cunt.

write a Magik/Storm teamup series and call it that

[.A²]

Okay, finished mine. Open to any feedback/criticism. This is my first time attempting anything like this so I'm sure there's plenty for me to take on board.

LYCANTHROPY AND LANGUAGE

PAGE 1
6 panels divided into 3 rows. Row 1 is a single panel. Row 2 is split into 2. Row 3 is divided into 3.

PANEL 1.1
EXT. A squat, grey, New York building surrounded by taller offices and apartment building. It’s dusk: the sky burns orange, pink and purple with the light of the setting sun. The silhouette of a tall, gangly, male figure is visible in the doorway. Holding a bouquet of flowers behind his back, he reaches for the doorbell with his free hand.

CAPTION: X-Factor HQ, New York City

PANEL 1.2
INT. A dimly-lit office. A small, disgruntled-looking man sits at a desk on a black leather swivel-chair, typing at his computer. The only light comes from the monitor. He’s wearing a dark green suit, a white shirt and a tie. Facing him, unimpressed is a blonde woman, blowing bubble gum.

SFX: DING-DONG!
PIP THE TROLL: Ya gonna get that sweetcheeks?
LAYLA MILLER: If you’re talking to me, then no. It’s not for me. Sweetcheeks.

PANEL 1.3
INT. Standing in the now open doorframe with a bemused expression is CYPHER, wearing a plaid shirt. To the side of the panel, holding the door open is STRONG GUY.

CYPHER: Er, Hi. I was told I might find a friend of mine here. Is R--
STRONG GUY: You here for Shatterstar? HEY STAR, ya order some skinny kid from craigslist again?

PANEL 1.4
From CYPHER’s P.O.V. A huge smile on his face, SHATTERSTAR waves.

SHATTERSTAR: No, not after last time. Ric-- Well Hel-lo there! Are you sure you’re not here for me?

PANEL 1.5
From CYPHER’s P.O.V. RICTOR’s hand grabs SHATTERSTAR by the ear and drags him off panel as he protests.

SHATTERSTAR: I was only making friends!

PANEL 1.6
From CYPHER’s P.O.V. LAYLA, standing in the doorway extends her hand towards the visitor. STRONG GUY stands behind her, almost off panel, pointing his thumb towards LAYLA.

LAYLA: Ignore them. Follow me. I’m Layla Miller. I know stuff.
STRONG GUY: She knows stuff.

PAGE 2
4 rows, 6 panels total. Row 1 is a single panel. Row 2 is split into 2. Rows 3 and 4 are divided into 2 each, but the first panel forms a column spanning both.

PANEL 2.1
LAYLA leads CYPHER through the corridors of the building. Facing away from him, her expression is steely, determined, while CYPHER is puzzled. Elsewhere, his face obscured by pink goo, PIP can be seen through an open doorway, struggling to pick pink bubblegum out of his hair, his tongue licking around his mouth.

CYPHER: Thanks. I’m Doug.
LAYLA: I know who you are. But just so we’re clear, you don’t know me. This isn’t my handiwork. We’ve never met before. The last thing I need is accusations about you. Got it?
CYPHER: Not really, no.
LAYLA: She’s over this way.

PANEL 2.2
The kitchen. Sat at the table, a sly expression on her face is M. Beside her, outraged, pregnant and in lupine form sits WOLFSBANE. The indistinct figures of LAYLA and CYPHER can just be made out by the entrance, behind WOLFSBANE.

M: I’m only telling you what I told Terry. Invulnerable or not, it’s a foetus. If you want rid of the damned thing it’s not too late that you can’t just...
WOLFSBANE: Ah cannae believe ye Monet! There’s a child growin’ in muh belly. My child. Ah could never...
M: Hey! This is a private party Chicken Legs. Get lost.

PANEL 2.3
Close-up on CYPHER, clearly very uncomfortable, tugging at his collar.

CYPHER: Is this a bad time?

PANEL 2.4
Close-up on WOLFSBANE, now in human form, visibly shocked. Her speech is in large block capitals.

WOLFSBANE: DOUG!?

PANEL 2.5
Both beaming with joy, CYPHER and WOLFSBANE hug. A single tear rolls down her face.

WOLFSBANE: Oh my God. Doug, is that really ye?
CYPHER: Do you need me to say it in Binary?

PANEL 2.6
MADROX enters the room, he scratches his head, concerned. LAYLA, livid throws her hands in the air and walks out.

MADROX: Is that who I think it is? Layla did you...
LAYLA: A squiggly line emerges in the speech bubble to indicate rage.

PAGE 3
4 rows, 8 panels total. Rows 1 is a single panel. Rows 2 and 3 are split into 2 each. Row 4 is 3 panels.

PANEL 3.1
EXT. A New York City diner with large windows revealing the interior. It’s night-time: the neon lights from the sign illuminate the dark street. CYPHER and WOLFSBANE sit opposite one another at a booth by the window.

CAPTION: Later
CAPTION-WOLFSBANE: But ye were dead Doug. I held ye in muh arms. I visited yuir grave.

PANEL 3.2
INT. Overview of the diner. It’s virtually empty except for WOLFSBANE and CYPHER. A bored waitress dressed in the traditional diner garb leans on the counter, looking over at the couple. WOLFSBANE eats a cheeseburger, while CYPHER picks at a salad.

CYPHER: I got better.
WOLFSBANE: It was all my fault. Can ye ever forgive me?

PANEL 3.3
Close-up on CYPHER, his face contorted (derp-face), cutlery in hand, a tiny piece of lettuce on his fork.

CYPHER: It’s okay Rahne. *ahem* Ye dinnae need t’blame yerself. Not even a wee bit.

PANEL 3.4
WOLFSBANE, laughing hysterically.

WOLFSBANE: Ye best nae be makin’ fun of me Douglas! Some linguist! Yuir accent is terrible, ye great blork!

PANEL 3.5
Cross-section of the booth, the couple are facing one another. WOLFSBANE smiles, CYPHER is pumping his fist.

CYPHER: Blork? What language is that?
WOLFSBANE: Guido.
CYPHER: Come at me bro!
WOLFSBANE: Stop that.

PANEL 3.6
CYPHER smiles with a false coyness, knowing he’s saying something he shouldn’t be.

CYPHER: Don’t be mad Rahne, I’ll never do it again.

PANEL 3.7
WOLFSBANE in lupine form, snarls.

SFX: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

PANEL 3.8
Embarrassed, CYPHER blushes.

CYPHER: Rahne! That's filthy.

PAGE 4
4 rows, 8 panels total. Rows 1 is 3 panels. Rows 2 and 4 are split into 2 panels each. Row 3 is a single panel.

PANEL 4.1
The couple exit the diner and head into the street. WOLFSBANE appears concerned.

WOLFSBANE: Why did ye come here Doug? Why now?

PANEL 4.2
Pleading, CYPHER fixes WOLFSBANE with an earnest stare.

CYPHER: We miss you. It’s not the same. Come home Rahney.

PANEL 4.3
WOLFSBANE rubs her baby bump.

WOLFSBANE: Ah cannae. Utopia’s no safe place t’raise a child.

PANEL 4.4
WOLFSBANE, saddened, looks down. The top of her face is in shadow.

WOLFSBANE: Ah have to be the best person ah can be. And ah can’t do that there. The things ah’ve done, Doug. The sins ah’ve committed. Ye wouldn’t believe.

PANEL 4.5
CYPHER attempts to hide the upset in his face.

WOLFSBANE: Of course I miss ye and Dani, and the others, yer my family but...
CYPHER: But you have a new family now.

PANEL 4.6
EXT. The moon-lit street. CYPHER and WOLFSBANE walk hand in hand: her on the right, him on the left. Only their silhouette (from behind) is visible, inside of it is an image (this time not a silhouette, but again from behind, and still hand in hand) of the couple as young teenagers, dressed in their New Mutants training gear.

WOLFSBANE: It’s not like that Doug. Ye died, and everything changed, and...
CYPHER: I get it. We’re just a footnote in the syntax of your life now.
WOLFSBANE: Yuir not a footnote Doug. Yuir so much more.

PANEL 4.7
WOLFSBANE in full wolf form, howls at the moon.

SFX: Awoooooooooooo

PANEL 4.8
Forward-facing extreme close-up on CYPHER. Only half of his face is shown. Behind him, the rest of the dark street is visible, as well as the vague outline of WOLFSBANE in the distance.

CAPTION-CYPHER: Me too Rahne. Me too.

[pryde15]

Good job A2! Great angle, Marvel missed out on a real opportunity by not having Cypher and Rahne ever address each other since his return, and the fact that she was the only character missing from the reunion tour.

Faded, I added you to the list.

[Faded]

Oooh so does the ending should not be a to be continued type deal, right?

[pryde15]

Oooh so does the ending should not be a to be continued type deal, right?

Yeah, this should be a one-shot deal.

[MartinRedmond]

Ca commence, I started drawing mine.

[Faded]

1

“ALL THAT GLITTERS”

PAGE ONE

[panel one]

Northstar: Guthrie? That country bumpkin? You come out of the closet for Spitball?

Northstar looks disgusted, obviously.

[panel two]

Iceman: Cannonball! His codename is Cannonball. Geez, Jean-Paul, not so loud!

[panel three]

Bling!: You’re in love with Professor Guthrie? The scruffier one, I mean? I always knew.

[panel four]

Iceman: WHAT?!?!

[panel five]

Bling!: It’s written all over your face.

[panel six]

Roxy draws a box in the air around his quite astonished face.

[panel seven]

Bling! & Northstar, in unison: Gay face.

PAGE TWO

[panel one]

They high five and giggle.

Iceman: sigh. Are you ready yet, Roxy? Your parents are expecting us at four. I hope your parents don’t see my haircut and demand a paternity test.

In the background, Cipher and Quentin Quire are seen stealing Hellions’ hands.

[panel two]

Bling!: I doubt they’ll be too concerned.

She smiles, looking both innocent and devious, once again drawing in the air a square around Iceman’s face.

[panel three]

She scrunches her face and her “hair” extends into a short, braided ponytail.

[panel four]

Bling!: There. That's better.

[panel five]

The earth starts shaking. Iceman and Bling! take on a fighting stance. A Nicki Minaj-like robot named Betty Beats or Lil' Sim teleports the pair to MojoWorld!

PAGE THREE

[panel one]

[Mojoworld]

Mojo world is adorned with jewels of all kind, large champagne bottles flowing into hottubs, and a stage worthy of a musical legend.

Bobby looks at the place in awe, while Bling! is unimpressed.

[panel two]

A beautiful woman with overflowing locks of curly, crimson red hair runs to Roxy. She’s wearing a gold outfit with a boob window. She has long lashes and is wearing extensive make-up that makes her look both extremely glamorous and also rather ridiculous. I’d say she’s a cross between Amy Winehouse and Beyonce.

Sexy Mutha: Honey, it’s so good to see you! Want some Cheeze-Os?

Bling!: Mom, what is this place? What have you and dad gotten yourselves into?

[panel three]

Sexy Mutha clears the Cheeze-Os from her teeth with her tongue, revealing a gold tooth.

[panel three]

Sexy Mutha: It’s Mojoworld, darling! He’s going to catapult our careers into THE STRATOSPHERE. A reality show, Ryan Seacrest, I talked to Simon and I might even be a on the X-Factor!

[panel four]

Bling!: What??! Mojo’s going to make you an investigator?

Bling! shakes her damn head.

[panel five]

Bling!: Mojo is bad news, mom. Because of him, there’s this white girl at the X-Men that won’t stop speaking in broken Engli—

[panel six]

Sexy Mutha: Roxanne, stop it! You never want me to get my shine on. Stop being so practical and enjoy your life more! Or at least let me enjoy mine! I NEED SOME WHISKEY.

Sexy Mutha turns around to walk away and Mojo’s face is shaved into the back of her head. Her large hips sway back and forth as she disappears into the background, pointing a very long fingernail into the air with pride.

PAGE FOUR

[panel one]

Bling!: Let’s go.

[panel two]

Iceman: But your parents—what if they’re mind-controlled?

[panel three]

Bling!: They’re not or at least they don't have to be! This is how they always are! Enough is never enough! This is what they’ve always wanted! And its everything I’ve tried to avoid. You can rescue them, Bobby, but I want to go home. I’m done rescuing them. I’m done enabling them.

[panel three]

Roxy punches the Lil' Sim robot and tries to change its teleportation settings until she hears a scream…

HELLLLLLLLLLLP! Get off me you mutha---

[panel four]

Roxy looks at Bobby with her lips pursed.

[panel five]

Bling!: Get the hell out of the way. No one touches my momma.

[panel six]

Iceman texts Hank McCoy:

Hank McCoy: How’s the trip going?

Bobby “Ladies Man” Drake: We’re in Mojoworld. Bling!’s pissed. Send help. 4 Mojo. XD

[panel seven]

Iceman: I love this job.

Bobby drops his phone and races after her.

END.

[Faded]

"SPENDING LIMIT"

PAGE ONE

[panel one]

Kitty Pryde hands Monet and Theresa a stack of $20 gift cards. Monet flips through them impatiently.

Monet: Really, Pryde? JC Penney? Sears? I don't even know what a "Dillards" is. What am I supposed to do with these?

Monet should be looking fabulous (sunglasses and hat, showing a lot of leg?), don't forget Terry's freckles

[panel two]

Theresa: Oh, hush Monet. We should be grateful the Jean Grey School is giving us a budget for clothes at all. Thanks, Kitty. :)

Kitty: No problem, Terry.

[panel three]

Kitty scrunches up her face and grabs a couple cards from Monet’s hand.

[panel four]

Monet rolls her eyes and gets on her cell phone. Anole and Chamber are walking with the three women.

The women come across a quirky boutique, Faust, and Monet’s eyes light up.

[panel five]

Chamber: What the hell am I doing here, luv?

Monet: I missed you, Jono! Isn’t that enough?

She grabs Anole and Chamber by the arm, smiling, over to the store.

[panel six]

Monet immediately starts filtering through the racks to find the perfect outfit.[/I]

Anole: I’m not sure that will fit you.

[panel seven]

Monet gives him shade.

PAGE TWO

[panel one]

A shadowed figure approaches Theresa from the counter.

[panel two]

mysterious woman: Can I help you find anything?

[panel three]

Theresa: RISQUE??!!! What the hell are you doing here?!! You’re alive!

Theresa looks overjoyed.

[panel four]

Risque looking charmingly satisfied. She has her signature bangs but with a shorter cut is wearing a fashionable outfit with dark colors and perhaps light-colored accents.

[panel five]

Then bitchily smug.

Theresa: …working retail. :)

Risque applies her lip gloss during this exchange.

[panel six]

Risque: Oh, yeah, I’m in-between jobs. Y’know the like, Terry, living freely, shopping all the day, and enjoying life. I don’t ever live in misery because there’s never a reason to.

PAGE FOUR

[panel one]

Terry’s smug demeanor fades into masked jealous melancholy. f

[panel two]

Risque then looks very serious.

Risque: How’s James?

Theresa: He’s fi—I don’t know. I haven’t heard from him.

Kitty is in the background, trying on something reminiscent of her Sprite days, looking at the mirror in disgust.

[panel three]

Risque lowers her head and speaks very softly to Theresa:

Risque: Look, Terry. There’s something you need to know.

[panel four]

Theresa: I don’t want to hear anymore of your poison. We’re here on business, Gloria. You can live your free life all you want, I have responsibilities to attend to.

She hollers to her entourage.

Theresa: Let’s go, people!

The group, with varying reactions of annoyance and shock, follow Theresa out the store.

PAGE FOUR

[panel one]

Narrative box:

She’s free, alright. Free to go to the most luxurious night clubs and shop at the finest stores with a credit card with no spending limit. But she has no friends. And there is no one there to bail her out of this one. She's alone.

In the background, Elixir and Emplate are seen in the background; Elixir is glowing and has a blank expression on his face while Emplate has a tendril around Risque’s ankle.

END

[Come To Deathstrike]

mojooooooooooooooooooo