8-6-2007 (PART I)
"I don't want to come across as a know-it-all now though. I mean, I do, but I don't want to come across as one."
~ Justin Davis
K'Nort: "So in what form do you eat tuna?"
Paul McEnery: "I like to wear the form of a wildebeest."
"Alcohol is the thing to do when depressed.
Or when celebrating something.
Or when having a run-of-the-mill day.
~ coke & comics
Tadhg Adams: "Spike. I'm loving Beryl with the transparencies and the window cube and the fire."
Paul McEnery: "Is that like Jeannie with the light brown hair, but with a much longer melody line."
"I'm contractually obligated not to get into the specifics of how happy and or excited I am for you, but I am happy and or excited for you to some degree which will be decided on at an unspecified, later date."
Athena Bast: "Boobies good."
Jared Humpherys: "That pretty much sums up the cosmology of my world."
"I NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY. I MERELY TYPE IN BIG LETTERS TO THROW OFF THE SCENT."
~ Ed Cunard
"Are you mad at black people for not being more interested in indie comics?"
~ Kid Omega
"Welcome to my world, enjoy your uneventful stay."
Jeff Brady: "I never knew 1/2-ply toilet paper existed, but the people who manage my office building seem to have found it."
gary bolt: "That's crappy."
Jeff Brady: "You don't know the half of it."
"I hope everyone's a Skrull.
Except for the clones.
And the Space Phantoms."
~ Pól Rua
"I've come to the conclusion that if an explanation has layers of conspiracy theory, it's bullshit.
I learned this by being a parent."
"How can you leave the first appearance of Speedball lying around like that? It should be in some sort of safe."
"Fireworks are cool, but it bugs me that I can't sleep for a week around Independence Day. Every Hick down in Hickville, the tall and the small, has to get illegal fireworks and set them off until three in the morning."
~ Matt Algren
Winslow: "We went out and ate Vietnamese instead."
Deathstroke: "Did they put up much of a fight?"
"So, Doctor Von Serverlag...
We meet again..."
~ Pól Rua
Alex: "I just thought of the worst idea for a comic ever, and if it hasn't been done, i bet it will be in the future.
And it goes on for 5 months, and it sucks balls, and kurt busiek writes it."
Kurt Busiek: "No.
No, he doesn't.
Trust me, he doesn't."
K'Nort: "In other news, guess who arrives for a five day visit in approximately two hours."
Paul McEnery: "You're that precise about your period?"
"The secret of life?
OK, here goes: A Mommy and a Daddy love each other very much. So much so, in fact, that even though they play kissy-face in Daddy's car, they don't reach under each other's underpants for what seems to Daddy to be many, many months, until one night, after buying Mommy many wine coolers, Daddy convinces Mommy to at least give Daddy an elevator ride around the block. Finally, Mommy harangues Daddy into forking out way too much money for a ring and they get married, whereupon Daddy finally gets to put his hoo-hoo-dilly in Mommy's cha-cha. Then the miracle of conception happens, whereupon Mommy refuses to let Daddy's hoo-hoo-dilly near her, as it may thump Baby in the forehead.
After Baby is born, Mommy is very tired all the time and Daddy spends a lot of time watching the cheerleader competitions late at night on ESPN2.
Sometime later, Daddy moves out of the house for a time, after Mommy catches Daddy and the babysitter doing naked push-ups together.
After 28 years, Baby moves out and Mommy and Daddy spend lots of time together, whereupon Daddy takes up golf. And fishing. And hunting. And poker. And Mommy spends much more time with the pool man than is normally comfortable.
This goes on until one day, Daddy gets a headache that starts in his arm and has to go to the hospital for a very long time. When he comes home, Daddy has to sit in his wheelchair and eat applesauce and Mommy has to change Daddy's diapers. Then, suddenly, Daddy goes to sleep one night and doesn't wake up and is found with his pillow over his head. And Mommy takes the life insurance money and goes on a long cruise with the pool man.
~ Dr. Hfuhruhurr
"I'm not much of drinker since I had my 'Bon Scott' moment."
~ Athena Bast
"Hmmmm. Baffling. There just might be a possibility that these "parasites" are emanating from you. Are you a succubus of some sort, perchance?"
"John's got a BA in Psychology so he obviously knows what he's talking about.
That reminds me, I have to go see a mechanic about my bad back."
Wesley Dodds: "I had no idea Socrates walked."
BlairH: "Yeah, I was always under the impression that he floated from place to place like David Blane."
"Charlie Hanson was the less know brother of the famous trio. Despite a body count in the 20's, historians will debate his legacy of evil with that of his famous siblings for years."
~ Ryan Kirk
"Well, now I own a stillson wrench.
All I need is one candlestick and I can play real life Clue at home."
~ Guapo Méndez
"The butler. The team-up sequences. The flying snowboard. The omelette making scene. All seemed to cheesey to me. And not the good kind of cheese. The individually wrapped, processed kind."
Typo Lad: "Here's something to help you non-breeders commit to your lifestyle.
Tot wet the bed last night.
Michael P: "I'm writing a thank-you note to the good people at Trojan Condoms right now."
"We called sock puppets clones at the Crossgen Board.
I had one called Carl Jung and another guy had one called Sigmund Freud, and we would get into debates about the mental health of other posters.
I'm surprised I didn't get banned for that."
"Tomorow, i'm not going to remind you to breathe, in the hopes that you die."
"Bourbon is like vitamins in a bottle."
~ Joe Rice
"I'll name my next dog mud, and call my niece and nephew motorcycle and tourist."
"You can never go wrong with a cover featuring Wonder Woman fighting a bunch of gorillas."
~ Brian Cronin
"I'd like to find the man who invented the Flaming Edgar and shake his hand. After he washed it, of course."
~ Pól Rua
"I'm a bit depressed and angry at myself at the moment.
Maybe downing a $100 bottle of whisky will help."
~ coke & comics
"Microphone killed the opera star!"
~ J. Robb
"It's drinking alone that makes you an alcoholic. Drinking with friends makes you a bon vivant."
"I think that The Godfather is a really great MOVIE!"
"Back in my day, we had Bartles & Jaymes to soften up the young ladies' undercarriages."
~ Ray R.
"I know you!
You're ZIMA, WARRIOR PRINCESS!"
~ Pól Rua
"On another note, I am DRUNK!"
"It was refreshing hearing someone call my wife an 'Asian ho-bag' and get away with it."
~ Honest Joe Rice
"There's a door,
Now, go through it.
then come back cause that's the bathroom.
Use the other door."
"My booze-fuelled irresponsibility senses are tingling all to bejeezus and back!"
~ Pól Rua
"No guys like comics, except for ugly ones. Only girls like comics- everybody knows that! I've never seen a guy in a comic shop, and if anyone says they have, they're living a lie.
In other news, you're dead to me."
~ Kid Omega
"Never let it be said I don't do the right thing htere.
I a m ver y drunk right now"
~ Joe Rice
Sonicjuce: "I am an English major."
Ray R.: "What do you where to English class?"
"I am a guy, so when I tell you one thing, I mean that one thing."
~ Mac Danny
Matt Algren: "I thought the scene with Hal jacking off into Roy's old Arsenal costume was a bit over the top."
ragnarok_2012: "If not for Identity Crisis, I'd automatically assume you were kidding..."
Gingold: "Sure it sounds creepy when you take it out of context like that."