"I might have this wrong, but are you saying that Liefeld isn't really all that bad but Picasso sucks?"
~ gary bolt
"Guy came in one night, had a bet with his friends. Ended up with his penis stuck in a coke bottle. The doctors decided they had to break it to get it off, and the guy gets upset. They can't figure out why, then they take a closer look.
Tattooed on his penis is a ship."
"Rare is it that a post makes me want to both wince and applaud."
Michael Pullmann: "My fucking arm hurts."
Dan Apodaca: "Tough being single, huh?"
"Ladies and gentlemen of the forum, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: 'Did little demons get inside and type it?' I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when I want images of girls dressed like superheroes, I shouldn't have to go and search for them myself--strangers should do the work for me. Thank you."
~ Ed Cunard
Larry Dixon: "I want to see more Comics Rage!
Cam63: "I almost put my beer down in fright!"
"Time to get my Essential FF and read about the first appearence of the Sapphic Surfer."
"People love big breasts........even if they are on Captain America."
"Does your friend really exist, or is it a 'hello Doctor Ruth, a friend of mine has a very small penis' kind of friend?"
~ The Mirrorball Man
Chris CCL: "Hope to all of your faces there."
Cei-U!: "I sure hope the missing verb in that sentence is 'see.' "
"We had the worst music CD ever playing in store today! It was this rap CD, but it was really lame, non-offensive/non-threatening stuff. Me and my manager were in heaps trying to "out rap" each-other by coming up with extremely lame non-offensive raps.
'I pay my taxes! I go to church!
I help the fuckin old ladies cross the street! YO!'
We have the lyrics written down somewhere. We called it 'Will Smith's commentaries on everyday situations.'
I'm slightly tipsy with alcohol."
"I've got organic mouthwash. You would have to do some work for it though."
"I don't know what I'll be wearing. But I'll look good in it."
"There's some comics that if they were written in three days I'd be horrified. Well, not really 'horrified' but internet horrified."
~ Joe Rice
"I hate ska more then Ann Coulter, The Phantom Menace and the new Spider-man costume combined."
Larry Dixon: "If you want a little red wagon to tool around in, I'll hook you up. We'll tubeframe you a blown, small block V-8 into custom snake pipes and a rock crusher tranny to feed the fastchange positraction diff. We'll put some fat Mickey Meats and tub the rear so there's room to bloom when you hammer that bitch down to the firewall."
Cam63: "Larry says he has a car."
"Every man has a 24-hour porno reel running on his mental desktop. Some guys just bring it full screen more often and some know better to keep the window minimized."
"Some Dicks are popping up that are unusual, but basically the majority are just your average run of the mill white dicks"
HomerJay: "Has anyone seen Nubly lately?
I miss his narcissistic take on modern life."
Michael Pullmann: "He was banned months ago. Jeff Brady threw a small celebration.
In his pants."
"What color stripes should my socks have next week?
What wallpaper should I put in my closet?
What kind of reflectors should be under my bike seat?"
~ Kid Omega
"Please, Samurai, stop the knee jerk reaction. No one is exiling them to the Phantom Zone."
~ Mike Smash!
"That's my new name for far right blather: Neenerneenerism."
~ Paul McEnery
"I'm sweating like Whitney Houston at an awards show!"
"It's hard to drop Shotglasses into a skull to do carbombs."
~ Tadhg Adams
"If 'assiduously massaging' the appropriate organs caused them to retract, my ball-problem would have been solved years ago."
"Just because something is old doesn't make it valid."
~ Mike Smash!
"That's why I enjoy Swanson's Angry Man dinners. Even the dessert is made of meat."
"If you're being 'forced' to choose between your religion and treating people as equals, I think that says something about your religion."
"Sleep is important.
But drinks are better."
Tages: "Funny thing, I don't really remember much of what happened after that, just then when I woke up in my room my butt was bleeding and there was a dollar pinned to my shirt."
StoneGold: "Fuck, I wondered what happened to that dollar."