Downtown Khazan: The Restaurant At The End Of The Omniverse

[The Once And Forever]

So, I've made no secret I like to write eritoca. I post on at least five different websites, and I have a blog. I have not attempted to sell any of this stuff, but have been seriously contemplating it, now that I have a pretty sizable backlog.

Now, about a year ago, this other guy starts writing his own stories modelled after my own. Which is great: part of the reason I write my own stuff is because no one else does, and I'd like other people to expand into the subsubsubgenre. So, I inspired him to write stuff, and in turn, he's inspired me to write stuff, so its an interesting cycle.

Now, today, the guy suddenly has his stuff up for sale via Smashwords. And I don't know why, but that bothered me all day while I was at work, mainly because I'm kind of kicking myself that I haven't done that yet. I mean, its fantastic for him, I'm glad he took the step, but I've been so timid about it, I haven't bothered yet, and I'm like, "Argh, the guy beat to the punch!"

I mean, not like I was competition with him or anything... but he's consistently better with this stuff than I am. Which is fine, there's always someone better, right? That's cool. Truth be told, I don't care for some of the stuff he puts in his stories, so it's all worked out, actually, that he covers different aspects than I do. This way, we maximize audience appeal with our "genre."

So, I buy the guy's ebook. And then I read it.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

This guy's stuff blows mine completely out of the water. And not just blows it out of the water, he's able to perfectly nail all the things I've been struggling trying to figure out. And the story is much closer in the vein of what I usually write, only its like ten times better.

And I'm just sitting stunned like, again, I'm not in competition with the guy, but I feel like I just got curbstomped. What the hell could I write in that particular setting that would even compare? Especially when he's implemented the things that, if I were to do them now, are gunna look like cheap knock offs?

I know, I know, this is kind of an unreasonable reaction. I know it. I'm proud of the guy, really. But jesus christ... I've spent most of the last year working almost exclusively in this one particular setting, and he just upped the ante so high I don't even know if its worth writing anything else in that setting anymore.

I mean... I've got one, maybe ONE story that could possibly measure up, and every time I try to work on it, I end up ripping my hair out in frustration. This is just... GAH!

I'm sure this is gunna pass by the end of the week and all, but right at this moment, I feel so damned out of it, I just want to vent.

I've felt like this before.

I auditioned for a run of Holes at the IRT, as did several of my fellow classmates.

Now, I don't pretend that I was the best actor at my school, though if it were a rumble, I could make an argument.

That said, of the classmates that auditioned for that role (X-Ray, who I do resemble when I don't cut my hair), I was the only one who didn't get an offer.

I've never felt that crushed before. I refused to go see the show (My classmates all declined, as it would have cut into school time), and felt very depressed.

So what did I do?

The next time my school went there on a field trip, I snuck off from the group and into their office, and demanded to be put on the list for the next set of auditions.

I still remember the look of shock on the secretary's face when she saw me, she was not happy.

That's when the casting director walked by, and, impressed by my audacity, got me on the list.

I'm the only person in my school to have worked at the IRT in that acting capacity.

Moral of the story? You are stronger than the brick wall. The only thing stopping you is yourself.

Also you won't get lucky if you don't keep trying, but that's the less awesome part of it.

[Sharpandpointies]

Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. And you know what, Ghost? You're dead on fucking right.

Good job, Sharker. Go for it. :)

Huh. Wild guess, there were probably explosives involved.

Once there were sharks.

Judging from sparse rumbles and the Wikipedia page, the few surviving villains are Mr. Gordons, Friend, and Elizu Roote. Oh, and some vampire guy that nobody has ever elaborated on.

Given what you said about the Dutchman, I'm pretty sure those survivors have perished as well.

The vampire guy...if it's the one I'm thinking about (a clan of Chinese Vampires), I'm amazed. I thought Remo smeared all of them long ago. O_o

I'm glad to hear Mr. Gordons is still around, though Gordon (ironically) detests him.

It sounds like a fairly reasonable argument.:P

It's Miburo. That is enough.

[Ghost]

Makes sense. I'm used to small amounts of harder stuff than wine, and plastic doesn't help the flavour, is all.

Ah. I never thought of that, but now that you mention it, that does make sense.

Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. And you know what, Ghost? You're dead on fucking right.

I just went for a ten minute power walk to soothe my jangled nerves (and obtain a giant cup of Dr. Pepper for further comfort), and as I was walking back , i realized something... I'm genuinely upset. Not, like, I'm gunna cry upset, but as you said, I was bested at my own game, and it fucking stung.

And it made realize something... it wouldn't jar this bad if I didn't have a genuine passion for it. And then I realize, holy shit, I really do have a passion for it. I mean, yes, I've always had a passion for writing/drawing/whatever expression it was that let me tell my stories, but this... I haven't felt this in years. Not since sometime back in fourth grade, when that damned kid was able to outdraw my own comics and not break a sweat. Punk.

Anyway, I was bested because I have let myself become slack on my own inhibitions and procrastination. And for the first time in years, this has truly rattled me. But unlike before, when I would have just felt a general self-loathing, I feel something else clawing its way upwards. A little voice saying, "Well, shit, that's what you get for being a slacker. Now what are you going to do about it?"

See, that's what I'm talking about. People who just shrug and say: "Who cares, I'm good enough as it is," may be content, but they will never grow. On the other hand, we who choose to fight on need to learn to appreciate the competition, because either way, feeling depressed just because someone happens to be better then you isn't going to do you any good.

Man, I rock at giving motivating speaches.

Indeed. What else are you going to toss at those annoying hunters when they storm your throne room?

Plastic just doesn't have the same dramatic effect.

[Sharkerbob]

I've felt like this before.

Moral of the story? You are stronger than the brick wall. The only thing stopping you is yourself.

Also you won't get lucky if you don't keep trying, but that's the less awesome part of it.

Haha, I think I had my epiophany moment a few posts ago already, but thank you for the encouragement. You are certainly right on that.

[Iron_twister]

So the more I learn bout Ancient China, the more I realize they're a lot more awesome people in that time period.

...Dammit, I want Cheng Pu in my Dynasty Warriors.

[Hazard]

I remember when I was beaten at my own game.

It sucked, especially because I was eliminated in the first round of the tournament, sure it was the guy that ended up winning, but that didn't make it better.

So I spent the rest of the year preparing myself for the next tournament.

I stomped the competition, only the guy that beat me wasn't there this time.

That bastard.

[Sharpandpointies]

Ah. I never thought of that, but now that you mention it, that does make sense.

Yeah...can lend an odd flavour to something strong.

See, that's what I'm talking about. People who just shrug and say: "Who cares, I'm good enough as it is," may be content, but they will never grow. On the other hand, we who choose to fight on need to learn to appreciate the competition, because either way, feeling depressed just because someone happens to be better then you isn't going to do you any good.

Sometimes you can't help feeling depressed, mind. Well, I can't.

Of course, the trick then is to get up and get back to it, determined to do better. Kind of like what you said. :)

[Sharkerbob]

See, that's what I'm talking about. People who just shrug and say: "Who cares, I'm good enough as it is," may be content, but they will never grow. On the other hand, we who choose to fight on need to learn to appreciate the competition, because either way, feeling depressed just because someone happens to be better then you isn't going to do you any good.

Man, I rock at giving motivating speaches.

Yup. I've had a lot of personal issues holding me back for a long time, still do, I won't lie, but these past couple years I've been working my way out of them, and writing in itself has been a big help. I don't care that it's smut, I rather enjoy writing smut, it's the one avenue right now that I feel genuinely creative in; but more so than that, its easy to just sit down and write, and that, truly is what's been helping me.

All those superhero and adventure stories I was constantly "planning" to do, and kept telling myself "THESE are the tales that I'm proud of", you know what? Yeah, they're good ideas, but that's all they are. The erotica? I've actually been writing it. And it donned on me eventually that right now, that stuff is more relevant than any of the "brilliant" stories I somehow never got around to doing, and instead just became endlessly frustrated trying to make work in my head before putting much of it to paper.

So, yeah, another lesson to be learned here, which a lot of people advise, but I think a writer really needs to experience for themselves: actually doing, even when it comes out bad, is far better than sitting around and planning to meet a perfection that'll never come. That's how your competition beats you out in the first place.

Sometimes you can't help feeling depressed, mind. Well, I can't.

Of course, the trick then is to get up and get back to it, determined to do better. Kind of like what you said. :)

Well, yeah. I'm still jangled right now. Probably should lay off trying to write anything until at least tomorrow night, until my head clears, but even though it stings right now, my reaction to it is what's really giving me a sense of hope about the situation. I find I'm actually feeling positive about the potential outcome for once.

[Sharpandpointies]

That's a fine start.

And I get it. :) Once I get over the urge to bang my head against the wall, I usually get at it with renewed determination.

[Sharkerbob]

That's a fine start.

And I get it. :) Once I get over the urge to bang my head against the wall, I usually get at it with renewed determination.

Indeed. And hey, if nothing else, he may have blown me out of the water in one setting type... but I've got two others with plenty more to delve into!

[Eternal Torment]

Once there were sharks.

Yep, I remember either you or Gordon mentioning those sharks before.

The vampire guy...if it's the one I'm thinking about (a clan of Chinese Vampires), I'm amazed. I thought Remo smeared all of them long ago. O_o

I'm glad to hear Mr. Gordons is still around, though Gordon (ironically) detests him.

The Wikipedia article specifies the vampire guy is a Chinese vampire, so I guess one of them survived. For how long is anybody's guess.

Also, Gordon in a previous thread said that Mr. Gordons escaped death yet again in... 125 (The Wrong Stuff).

[Sharpandpointies]

Yep, I remember either you or Gordon mentioning those sharks before.

In a moment of lucidity, he chooses suicide. Remo tries to save him, but fails.

Jeremiah Purcell was a sick, vicious animal, but the fact is he was twisted into that by circumstance and Nuihc. He was insane, and in his own way, very much a victim.

The Wikipedia article specifies the vampire guy is a Chinese vampire, so I guess one of them survived. For how long is anybody's guess.

Also, Gordon in a previous thread said that Mr. Gordons escaped death yet again in... 125 (The Wrong Stuff).

Yep, that's probably the same dude, then. Used his fingernail for a weapon.

I had forgotten about Gordon mentioning that Gordons survived his last book. Cool. If the series ever starts again, then there's a chance I'll get to read 'Hello is all right' again. :)

[Eternal Torment]

In a moment of lucidity, he chooses suicide. Remo tries to save him, but fails.

Jeremiah Purcell was a sick, vicious animal, but the fact is he was twisted into that by circumstance and Nuihc. He was insane, and in his own way, very much a victim.

Tragic stuff, the twisting of a young mind into a rampaging monster. I wonder if it would have been better if he had never been found by Nuihc at all.

Yep, that's probably the same dude, then. Used his fingernail for a weapon.

I had forgotten about Gordon mentioning that Gordons survived his last book. Cool. If the series ever starts again, then there's a chance I'll get to read 'Hello is all right' again. :)

As you said in some other thread, Mr. Gordons hit his peak in Dying Space (where he was apparently very beastly, but doesn't really compare to current Remo).

Also, interesting thing. Finding a summary of 125, it says that Elizu Roote shows up and fights Mr. Gordons. I remember the dude had electric powers, although that shouldn't be too much of a problem for Gordons. It appears both of them survived the book, though.

[Estrecca]

For whom it may concern:

Just got around to saving the raw text of the School House Rumbles discussion thread (characters bios and OOC) and am going through the thread collecting the relevant images.

My next target for archival saving would be Pwned II: The Vengueance thread.

[Sharkerbob]

Hey, guys, I got a kind of random question. So, I'm still tinkering with one of my fantasy world set-ups, and I want to compare currencies. How do I describe currency differences thusly:

The Curran "Paolo" is about half the value of the Argonian "Dollar." As in, you need two Paolo's to equal a Dollar. How do I describe this in the phrase "to the dollar?"

Do I say, "The Paolo is worth 50 cents to the Dollar?" or do I say, "The Paolo is worth 2 dollars to the dollar?" or do I should I come up with a different expression?

Hopefully what I'm asking makes sense. I can't seem to google up an answer to this question...