So, explain what you believe the difference is between being something and pretending to be something. That's the most important. Second, explain what you mean by choosing who you are. Then, we might cover something.
Basically, I think that an action is part of you. Everything you do is real, just different parts of you. A person can be many things at once. That is the basics of what I mean when I say we are who we pretend to be. The person we are pretending to be is one of our identities, a part of who we are. We need a model in our brain to understand something, and to make that model, it has to be part of us.
As for choice, not diving in quite yet, but I mean that we do not simply determine who we are based on what we wish we are. We have qualities and natures that exist independently of our own will. Just because we don't want to hate someone doesn't mean we don't. Same with love.
Now, what part of this do you disagree with? I will reply later, as I have other things to do tonight.