My grandfather has to leave

[Nicker]

I know some of you might not know me. But, that is something I can accept. Anyway, I was adopted by my grandparents as a baby because my mother couldn't take care of me. They have seen me grow up all the way from kindergarten to now Freshmen year of high school. But then my grandfather went behind my grandmother's back to get this dog back.

This dog in particular was one that he we had a big fight with her orignal owner about. We let the owner take her back and for a couple of months everything seemed arlight, until the owner came back today and gave her back. Now my grandmother called somebody to divorce her and my grandfather who mind you hav-HAD been married for 25 years. All of it ruined by a dog.

I'm bawling my eyes out as I type and I don't know if I can ever forgive my grandmother for what she has done. Has anybody else on here gone through a situation similar to mine or have dealt with a divorce in the family? :

[Thundermonkey]

My parents divorced after I graduated from High School but your grandparents have more problems than a fight over a dog.

[Nicker]

My parents divorced after I graduated from High School but your grandparents have more problems than a fight over a dog.

Honestly, I never thought it would come to this..Its not going to be the same without him..but its either he leaves or my grandmother does...sigh..

[dupont2005]

My parent's relationship has been on again-off again my entire life. Pretty sure it's over now since my dad fled the country.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

I don't mean to be a bad guy here online. But dude... your grandparents obviously had more problems relationship wise than a dog. They likely kept it from you. But if someone bringing back a dog , that you used to own is gonna cause a divorce , then there was problems there.

[snarkbunny]

I'm bawling my eyes out as I type and I don't know if I can ever forgive my grandmother for what she has done. Has anybody else on here gone through a situation similar to mine or have dealt with a divorce in the family? :

Nicker, I suspect you are a little in shock over this. It's always emotionally wrenching when your family gets messed up.

The best advice I can give you, is that while it may seem easier to pick a side, don't. While this impacts you, ultimately it is between your grandmother and grandfather to resolve and decide what to do about their relationship. Whatever happens, in the long run it's generally better for you if you have a good relationship with both of them.

It's going to be painful at times, and you will be sad, and angry at times. That's normal. Just try to remember, this isn't your fault or the dog's fault, and it will get better.

[The Once And Forever]

I'm bawling my eyes out as I type and I don't know if I can ever forgive my grandmother for what she has done. Has anybody else on here gone through a situation similar to mine or have dealt with a divorce in the family? :

You can forgive her. Its going to take time, and sometimes its going to seem impossible, but it isn't. The human heart is a powerful thing, trust yours, and when the time is right and you're ready, the pain will fade.

In the mean time, feel free to PM me. My parents broke up when I was young, so I can somewhat relate. No matter what, remember, you are not alone. :)

[fly on the wall]

Okay, first off everyone is right, it's not the dog's fault or your grandmother's fault or your grandfather's fault. It's certainly not your fault; I know you are hurting and we really feel for you. But it's important for you to understand that this was probably coming dog or no dog, and it is probably a good thing. In time I gaurantee that you will forgive your granny/mom.

Sometimes it's better to break up rather than stay together, but it's never an easy call.

Take my grandfather. He always cheated on my grandmother, ran around with other women. He had lots of dough so he could attract other women. He got particularly attracted to his secretary and when he went out of town he took her with him. When he went down to Florida for the winter he took his secretary with him and not his wife.

It was humiliating for my grandmother but she stuck with him probably for the money. He thought she would be so humiliated that she would leave him, but she stayed married to him, probably for the money.

Then he had some kind of prostate operation when he was 66 and in the process they broke his dick. He couldn't get a hard-on anymore so despite his money, he could no longer swing with the chicks. Then he saw my grandmother differently. She was real good at taking care of him and his house and his business. Since he couldn't get it up, what did he need his secretary for? Suddenly it was my grandmother that got to go on the business trips and the Florida vacations.

My grandmother had waited and outlasted the secretary. But was staying married the right thing for her to do? Was it really worth it? Had she made the right choice?

When my Grandfather got to be 96, after his secretary was dead for awhile, my Grandmother decided he was too much to handle so she put him in a nursing home. It was a real good nursing home, the best I'd ever seen. It didn't even smell like urine. But it was still a nursing home and my grandfather always hated me and my grandmother for putting him there. I had nothing to do with the decision but he was kinda goofy in the head and so he blamed me as well as my grandmother. He refused to speak to us for two years and then he died at age 98.

My grandmother is 106 now and she is much more debilitated than my grandfather when he was put in a home, but she doesn't have to go to a home because she is using what's left of his money to turn her house into a nursing home. She got revenge on that old Tom Cat by putting him in a home and she will never have to go to one. He who laughs last laughs best, eh?

I could tell you about how lousy my Parent's marriage was or how lousy my own marriage is, and none of us ever got divorced. The point for you is that it is better to have come from a broken home than to be in a broken home.

[Schornforce]

I agree with the advice given here, Nicker, but I hope everything works out for the best with you and your family.

[Cavemold]

Maybe in time this will be for the best. And the dog is symbol of the two falling out of love . At least that's what I see from your grandparents.