I love that Fry speech, reminds me of a coach I had when I was playing.
Best speech was "Look at those nets, smack the ball into that with as much power as you can and it'll scrape the mud off the ball and fling it in the keepers eyes."
One player asked him for some tactical advice on how to score the goal so the net could do just that and what to do if the keeper had the sense to wipe the mud out of his eyes should the unlikely event occur. The player was dropped to the sub's bench.
That player was me. I didn't get brought on.
We lost 3-0. The manager didn't appreciate me asking if it was because there was mud in our keeper's eyes.