An Athiest's Plight

[doriangray21]

I’m an Atheist, yeah. I admit it. And I’m not one of those “burn the church down” Atheists, it’s just what I feel is the most logical answer to the world we live in, there is no god IMHO. The problem: I met a girl that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with two years ago but she’s a Presbyterian. But trust me that was the least of my troubles with that girl. Long story short, it wasn’t ever going to happen. But tonight… tonight! I meet this amazing woman. She’s Talented, Kind-Hearted, Beautiful. She’s older than me but she’s amazing. But she’s catholic. I was honest with her (cause I’m an honest guy) and said I was raised catholic but I’m an Atheist. She told me that that was that most important thing to her and she won’t give me a chance as a lover because of that.

I know, I’m coming off as whiny, but I just want people to appreciate how hard it is to be an atheist out there in the world, trying to meet people. Trust me; if I could believe and be devout, I would in a heartbeat. But I just can’t. I breaks my heart. If I’m freely willing to put away my pride to meet someone than why can’t someone devout do the same? I’m an Atheist, but I live my life with openness and honesty, and for that I am punished.

Sorry, end rant

[Jared H.]

You might have ended up lucky, man. If she's a hardcore catholic, that's a LOT of kids to worry about.

[Paradox]

Not uncommon for religious differences to put the kibosh on things, but at least you were upfront about it and didn't spring something on her far later after the two of you got attached. Sad, but that's for the best.

But, yeah, it's a drag. My sympathies.

[Jared H.]

My dad's Mormon, and I can also tell you that religious differences can cause problems even after marriage. There was no end to the level of harassment the church gave my family as I was growing up because my mom was a working mother and not Mormon.

[Forgotten Entity]

I can understand that, man. It's best to tell at the get-go instead of getting attached first, be honest as you can, and don't start a relationship on a lie. :)

[StoneGold]

That's not an atheist's plight, that's a "I want to fuck someone with different ideas than me" plight. You'd have the same problem if you were, oh, let's say Buddhist.


And let's be honest here, if she were going to let you into her pants anyway, it's doubtful religion would be much of an issue, y'dig?


EDIT: Although let's be honest, that's also a good reason not to bring up religion or politics while trying to get into someone's pants. Or comic books, but that's something else.

[Kees_L]

I know, I’m coming off as whiny, but I just want people to appreciate how hard it is to be an atheist out there in the world, trying to meet people. Trust me; if I could believe and be devout, I would in a heartbeat. But I just can’t. I breaks my heart.

This has nothing to do with atheism, as things would work this way for any frame of convictions, except maybe disciples of 'fucking freely'.

The mechanic of having convictions such as belonging to a certain church or religion or either the keeping completely free of any such, will get applied to searching partners or mates.
I'd go so far as saying that it would be a major goal behind it: applying ones personal convictions onto who might be a partner or mate.

Of course you cannot change yourself into someone you're not. Which tells you this woman was not for you, however cute she'd be.

Not for you. So you did yourself a favor there, I'd think.

[i_mmmchocolate]

These sorts of threads, when they do pop up, always make me laugh.

My parents don't share religious beliefs and they've been married for 30 years. My dad has atheist/agnostic leanings and is practically a socialist while my mom is Christian with a slightly conservative viewpoint.

They never got together because of shared religious beliefs.

It's maybe been an issue once or twice, but that's it. For the most part, my dad isn't a douche about his views on religion and my mom doesn't insist that my dad share her love with reading the bible. They're "live and let live" types.

EDIT: And, really, unless these women you're interested in are attending church regularly, I honestly don't see the issue. Just because someone claims to be Presbyterian or Catholic or even Jewish doesn't automatically mean that they're bible/torah-thumping zealots.

[Arvandor]

I can't even comprehend what it must be like to live somewhere where belief is an issue.

I'm an atheist. Have been for as long as I can remember. My family never discussed the topic. No one I know discusses the topic. My friends and neighbours could be atheists, fundamentalists, or muslim converts for all I know.

No one talks about it. Because no one cares.

[Kees_L]

I can't even comprehend what it must be like to live somewhere where belief is an issue.

I'm an atheist. Have been for as long as I can remember. My family never discussed the topic. No one I know discusses the topic. My friends and neighbours could be atheists, fundamentalists, or muslim converts for all I know.

No one talks about it. Because no one cares.

You cannot comprehend there would be people anywhere considering belief to being a worthwhile or discussable concept in any way?

I don't see how you could honestly be concluding such.


But in this case I believe it's like Stonegold says: people feeling compatibilty wouldn't raise issues, they'd point toward compatibilities.
"Oh!! You walk upright, just like me! We totally need to hook up, right now!"

Making this just another case of politely refusing hooking up, without it being centred around beliefs necessarily.

Just like how pondering on what would be against hooking up - especially during any such hooking up, would point to aptitude towards discompatibility more rather than towards compatibility.

As if people strongly feeling about their preferences all the time wouldn't be really intent on finding partners or just nice dates.
As if they'd only be intent on blaming factors outside of themselves for why they wouldn't be finding partners or just nice dates.

[USArmyParatrooper]

Dorian, your story does not surprise me in the slightest. You atheists have many things working against you socially. Women (and men) who are devoted to religion are indoctrinated to believe getting involved with an atheist is wrong in the eyes of God. Such an ingrained belief is impossible to overcome. What's more is that people often associate religion with morality. In their eyes if you don't believe in God then you must have zero moral compass. Some religious zealots even go as far as to consider you "evil" - to a certain degree.

It's been proven that a black man can become President. I doubt an atheist will have a chance for many decades to come.

Personally I believe there is something greater behind the existence of life than just a random act of science. I believe that something created the existence of life - something that is impossible for the human mind to conceptualize. In that regard, mankind would see it/him/her as "God."

Even though I do believe in some from of a deity (God if you will) in the abstract, I still get looks of disapproval from many Christians.

[finfangfool]

My dad was an atheist and my mom was Catholic. They got along fine for awhile (eventually ending up in divorce, but after three kids). Neither discussed religion, my dad convinced my mom it was best not to indoctrinate us but to let us figure it out on our own. It can work, but if someone is at the point of belief in whatever that they can't even accept you as a life partner for not sharing that then you are better off without such a person. That would have only been the start.

[Iangould]

Anyone who thinks atheists aren't subject to quite extraordinary discrimination needs to go look at the video I linked to in the "Complaints about the Republican Party"

[verslibre]

I know, I’m coming off as whiny, but I just want people to appreciate how hard it is to be an atheist out there in the world, trying to meet people. Trust me; if I could believe and be devout, I would in a heartbeat. But I just can’t. I breaks my heart. If I’m freely willing to put away my pride to meet someone than why can’t someone devout do the same? I’m an Atheist, but I live my life with openness and honesty, and for that I am punished.

QFT.

You're whining because you think you can't get laid because you're an atheist.

For one thing, stop loitering around churches if you think you're going to get some that way. There are plenty of "atheists" in coffee houses, in bookstores, on college campuses, in music stores (I know, you probably buy downloads).

Seriously, this is a non-issue. [/THREAD]

[USArmyParatrooper]

QFT.

You're whining because you think you can't get laid because you're an atheist.

For one thing, stop loitering around churches if you think you're going to get some that way. There are plenty of "atheists" in coffee houses, in bookstores, on college campuses, in music stores (I know, you probably buy downloads).

Seriously, this is a non-issue. [/THREAD]

You're a big meanie.