Elves Attack!

[JeffreyWKramer]

Additionally, my original comment was in reply to your assertation that the elves would all die from disease. Thus, me going into detail to correct the stereotype.

Point being that Tolkien's elves won't, and likely not the Norse Elves, either, being magical creatures who aren't presented as sickly things. :)

For that matter, the Dresdenverse fae aren't exactly pussies, either. Iron, and even just steel, screws with them something fierce, and they're rather vulnerable to going insane, but they are nonetheless quite tough as a group, and some of them are crazy-powerful.

[Rod G]

I'm surprised you didn't include the ELFQUEST ones . . .

I mean, the Wolfriders,Sun Folk,Gliders and Go-backs would make one hell of an army.

[Siriel]

The popular elven fictions that I've seen have Elvens never experience things like Colds, or Flu, smallpox and so on. They are an immortal race that lives pretty much perfectly in harmony with nature. There is no disease among them thus there is no antibodies or medicines to common fight such illnesses. Only in fictions where Elves interact highly with other races does the idea of Elven medicine even come up, and usually its something like mending a broken bone and so on.

One would think that this right there is the answer to your question of why they won't die of the common cold.

[Guy Smiley]

I'm pretty sure if a species can interbreed with another that species can more thab likely be effected by the samethings that effect negatively or postively the other. ie if Humans and make Half Elves with Elves, then their physiology is close enough that human ailments can fell them just as easy as a human.

Most of the mythological elves didn't interbreed, IIRC. An awful lot of them baby-swapped, instead.

What's worse is a lot of them are about the same as, say, Discworld elves or the ones from Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, with vastly potent glamour and charm capabilities.

And as far as D&D elves go, let's not forget the pre-AD&D elves, who were so badass that their race *was* their class, and it was effectively a fighter *and* a magic-user combined with extra bonuses.

[Captain Smith]

The Dresden books are clear that those supernaturals try to keep humans in the dark about their existence to avoid a massive stomp by the enraged and large numbers of modern humans. While the supernaturals show great powers, they don't want to face armies with modern tech in the 100 million soldier range with all the other stuff.

Without the older more powerful elves, the LoTR folks are targets. You basically have to have heavy hitter magicians to win this and then you really don't need to be an elf - just superpowered.

[Ptrvc]

And they aren't human, making them genetically incompatible with human diseases.

There close enough to breed in many cases though, which means they're much closer to humanity, genetically speaking, than any other currently living species.

[Shihali]

In retrospect, the end of humanity's rule over Earth started with a few conversations.

First, Celebrimbor told his grandfather Feanor about the new field of Ring-craft. How they worked, what they did, that minor flaw with the one that gives humans magic powers, etc.

Feanor, who'd never liked the idea of humans and liked what they'd done to the world even less, told Curufin the story (Curufin and Celebrimbor still aren't talking) and commented that with a few adjustments it shouldn't be too hard to make replicas that don't give enough magical ability to be dangerous before walking off to demand an answer from his father Finwe why the invasion was postponed again.

Curufin thought this was a great idea, and made sure to mention it to Maeve the next time they met.

Maeve agreed with Curufin, but how were they going to mass-produce and distribute these rings? The distribution part wasn't too bad, since Santa's elves could deliver the cursed baubles as Christmas presents, but producing enough to make sure every world leader got his or her very own enslaving ring was going to be a task, especially since Celebrimbor would never agree to the plan.

Maeve mentioned the idea to her mother Mab, who recalled that the Sons of Ivaldi are numerous and have a history of making items of this quality. They were agreeable (although the payment wasn't made public) and the first three were finished in time for Christmas.

Needless to say, humanity hasn't noticed that the world is now being run by elves. Humanity has noticed that the final Durban Protocol, more stringent than the Kyoto Protocol, was unexpectedly signed by President Obama and shockingly passed the Senate, and that relations between India and China are approaching historic lows, but no one imagines that every world leader is secretly dominated by an elven noble. Who controls which is a guarded secret.

Meanwhile, Albert Prince is an up-and-coming Labour MP for Carmarthen West and South Pembrokeshire, environmentalist, health fanatic, owns a pair of surgically pointed ears as a youthful indiscretion, and is talked of as a future Prime Minister. He's also an elf. If the Ring plan doesn't work, there's always trying to get elves elected, and Albert (not his original name) likes humans, is a recognized expert at dealing with them, and has political experience.

Taking over the world doesn't have to mean brute force. And someone had to post a version in which the elves won.

[mailedbypostman1]

Elves usually don't go to war without some sort of overwhelming advantage anyway.

If they're taking over, it will be much more sneaky then a straight attack.

And if Eldar are in this, they have a serious chance of arming the other Elves with enough tech to become rather dangerous.

[Shihali]

Elves usually don't go to war without some sort of overwhelming advantage anyway.

Except for one important element of this coalition, the Noldorin Eldar. They have a long and bloody history of underestimating their opponents, being attacked when unprepared, getting the tactical timing wrong, desperate last stands, and even a preemptive war when they only had a slender advantage. The frequent warfare culled their own numbers to the point of all the Noldor you see in LotR being wise, distant entities -- because the arrogant, rash, impetuous ones have all been killed.

And if Eldar are in this, they have a serious chance of arming the other Elves with enough tech to become rather dangerous.

Are you talking about Tolkien Eldar (mainly Noldorin Eldar, since they're the ones with the weapons technology), Warhammer 40K Eldar, or some other group? The OP didn't invite 40K Eldar to the invasion, but it would be entertaining.

[Sharpandpointies]

The Noldor had this seriously unfortunate part in their history when they got roped into something stupid by Fëanor, then their pride wouldn't let them back out (some of the smart ones did).

They absolutely had this problem, and did all through their history right up to the point where they left. Even in the Second Age they were pretty stubborn and boneheaded about certain things, and Galadriel had serious pride issues all the way up to the point where she finally realized it wasn't getting her anything but sorrow, and decided to make the smart move and finally head back home to live with the family.

I'm going to agree that the Noldor are just the right people for 'starting a fight against a numerically superior foe and totally expecting to win it'. That they can point to their own history for examples of them pulling that kind of crap off doesn't help them wise up at all.

Love me some Noldor, but they had some serious flaws. :)

[Beadle]

Elves usually don't go to war without some sort of overwhelming advantage anyway.

If they're taking over, it will be much more sneaky then a straight attack.

Yes. Kurse is well renowned for the sneakiness of his "RARGH!!! KURSE SHALT KILL PUNY THOR!!" attacks.

The sneakiness is in the simplicity. Nobody would expect an elf to do that.

[big_adventure]

Yes. Kurse is well renowned for the sneakiness of his "RARGH!!! KURSE SHALT KILL PUNY THOR!!" attacks.

The sneakiness is in the simplicity. Nobody would expect an elf to do that.

On the other hand, Kurse DID have "no-sell Mjolnir/Stormbreaker hits" durability and "double Thor's strength" as assets, so, like MBP1 posted, it totally backs the "overwhelming advantage" aspect. :-)

[Shihali]

Yes. Kurse is well renowned for the sneakiness of his "RARGH!!! KURSE SHALT KILL PUNY THOR!!" attacks.

The sneakiness is in the simplicity. Nobody would expect an elf to do that.

You've got a point there. Even Feanor, patron saint of modern elf berserkers, took an army with him to go kick Morgoth's door in and take the Silmarils back. Becoming separated from his army wasn't planned, just what happens when someone who can tell demigods what's what doesn't pause to make sure the army is keeping up.

The way this rumble is set up, the Noldor are ruled by Finwe, who can make Feanor and Fingolfin work together for as long as it takes. I'd also like to think that he would listen to the majority of his descendants, who developed a keen appreciation for human fighting skill and what it's like to be outnumbered umpteen to one, and do some planning before starting an invasion. He's got his fair share of pride issues, but his authority isn't vulnerable to attacks of conscience and he has the offensive so he's no reason not to take his time and plan a perfect attack (modulo Noldorin arrogance and inexperience with modern weaponry).

For that matter, I'm still convinced Noldor would make the best infiltrators out of the OP's coalition; they can more or less pass for human without glamor, don't have crippling behavior restrictions, and for all their arrogance have shown more cultural adaptability than the people of Doriath, Silvan Elves, or the Vanyar. (Also the Teleri of Aman, but the Fallinelli won't fight alongside the Etyangoldi and I'd rather have the latter in my army.) House-elves are better for gathering intelligence on current leaders, but there's no way they can pass for human. A minor Noldorin noble can be sent to a military college and learn first-hand what can be done with blasting fire nowadays.

[big_adventure]

Feist Elves would fit there too - many from Midkemia could pass as human, plus they've got, thanks to their Eldar, a HUGE race (millions/billions) of 7-foot tall, faster/stronger/tougher than human warriors who are also spell casters (illusions, demon summoning/controlling, offensive and defensive magic, precog, teleportation, etc.) and have rift technology/magic. They probably outnumber all other races of elves combined as well, so even if they are weaker individually than Noldor, there are a f-ton more of them and they have the resources of dozens of worlds at their disposal to fight with.

[Sharpandpointies]

The way this rumble is set up, the Noldor are ruled by Finwe, who can make Feanor and Fingolfin work together for as long as it takes.

Even with how this Rumble is set up, I can't see this one part of your post working out. ^_^