Vixen, you know, that sexy powerful woman that DC Comics has wasting away in the current Justice League International series, was preparing to walk down the run-way (why do they call it a runway, when all models ever do is WALK down it? I can't remember the last time I saw a model actually run down the runway)...
So anyway, Vixen was preparing to RUN down the runway in high heels when Mary Jane Watson burst into the main dressing room and showed off her engagement ring.
Mary Jane: "Mari, guess what??? Peter and I are engaged!"
Vixen: "Wow, girl, congratulations!"
Mary Jane: "Thanks! I can't believe this is actually happening to me! Somebody wants to marry me! I'm not the loser I thought I was!"
Vixen: "Oh, ok..."
Mary Jane: "Peter finally put a ring on it!"
Vixen: "Yeah, you kind of already said that..."
Mary Jane: "Peter wants me to be his wife!"
Vixen: "Yup, that's what engagements usually entail..."
Mary Jane: "Hopefully some day you'll get engaged, too! You're not a loser, Mari!"
Vixen: "Gee, thanks. I'm gonna go now...it's my turn on the catwalk, so...yeah. By the way, what's the deal with calling it a catwalk? I can't recall the last time I actually saw a cat strutting down the catwalk. Humans stroll down the catwalk, not cats. Do cats strut down the humanwalk?"
Mary Jane: "Um...what?"
Vixen: "Never mind. I'll see you in a few minutes."
Vixen was about to leave when she got a text message. After she read it, she sighed.
Mary Jane: "What's wrong, you-who-are-not-engaged?"
Vixen: "I just got a text from Wonder Woman. I swear, if that girl calls me "Sister" just one more damn time..."
Mary Jane: (playing with Vixen's hair) "What does she want?"
Vixen: (smacking Mary Jane's hand away) "She wants to hang out. Apparently she wants company so that she doesn't go off on her own and start some "ish." Her words, not mine."
Mary Jane: "Can I come?"
Vixen: "I don't see why not. Hang tight, I'll be right back after I walk on out there."
As Vixen strutted her stuff down the runway during the Victoria's Secret Fashion show, Prof. Xavier showed his appreciation for Vixen's body by videotaping her performance. When security took away the professor's video camera, he watched security leave and then simply took out his iphone to videotape Vixen.
Storm and the Black Panther were now at Madison Square Garden to watch the New York Knicks take on the Los Angeles Lakers, and as they were sitting courtside, Kobe Bryant dunked the ball.
Black Panther: "I can dunk like that."
Storm: "Please, T'Challa. You can't even dunk a donut in milk."
Black Panther: "Now that's just cold."
Storm: "What time is our Illuminati meeting today?"
Black Panther: "You're the leader of the Illuminati, and you don't even know what time we're meeting?"
Storm: "If I knew what time the meeting was, would I be asking you? And no, because I know you have my back. So what time is the meeting?"
Black Panther: "7 p.m."
Storm: "We also have a new member joining."
Black Panther: "Really? Who is it? Batman? Doctor Strange? The deadly Nightshade?"
Storm: "It's a secret that will be revealed later on tonight, baby. And besides...I don't want Nightshade anywhere near you. I know she likes you, and I'd hate to have to rip that girl's eyes out for undressing you with her eyes."
Black Panther: "If I threaten to tickle you, will you tell me the secret?"
Black Panther: "If I threaten to withhold lovemaking, will you tell me the secret?"
Storm: "Oh come on, T'Challa. Everyone knows you can't possibly keep your hands off of me. You would never make that threat, let alone keep it."
Black Panther: "You know me too well."
Wonder Woman: "Sister!"
Storm: "Hello Diana!"
Wonder Woman: "Hello T'Challa."
Black Panther: "Hello Diana Prince."
Wonder Woman sat down on the lap of the man who was sitting on the other side of Storm. The man, who was a straight-up geek, froze in place as Wonder Woman, clad in her usual skimpy costume, wriggled and writhed on him as she talked to Storm in a very animated fashion.
Wonder Woman: (suddenly turning to the geek) "I'm sorry , Sir, if my sitting on your lap is bothering you, I'll move."
Geek: "No..no...you're good."
Wonder Woman turned back to Storm.
Wonder Woman: "Vixen is supposed to be meeting me here in a few minutes. Maybe you can hang out with us after the game is over?"
Storm: "I'll have to take a raincheck. T'Challa and I have to go to a meeting after the game."
Wonder Woman: "Okay then, Sister. I understand. It will just me and Vixen hanging out in Man's World tonight, then. Hey, that's odd."
Storm: "What is?"
Wonder Woman: "Something keeps poking me."
Wonder Woman looked at the geek again, who started to look embarassed.
Wonder Woman: "Is that an erection, Sir?"
Wonder Woman: "Fascinating. This means you find me attractive, yes?"
Geek: "Oh God yes."
Wonder Woman: "What are you planning to do with your erection, Sir?"
Geek: "I'm not sure."
Wonder Woman: "Curious. What is also curious is that it seems to be getting larger."
Wonder Woman: "A hard, throbbing erection should never be wasted. Come with me, please, Sir. Sister, I will return momentarily."
Storm: "Oh, ok..."
Wonder Woman took the geek by the hand and disappeared with him.
Black Panther: "Is she going to have sex with him?"
Black Panther: "That's kind of risky. I hope they use protection."
Storm: "She just came to Man's World...she's like a kid in a toy store. She wants to put her hands on everything."
Vixen showed up and sat down.
Vixen: "Hey yall."
Storm: "Hey Vixen."
Black Panther: "Hello Mari Jiwe McCabe."
The Red Skull suddenly popped up in front of the trio.
Red Skull: "You three sitting together? FORCED!"
Black Panther: "I'm going to break your jaw again if you don't get out of here, Skull."
After the Red Skull ran away, Mary Jane Watson showed up and sat next to Vixen.
Storm suddenly jumped onto the floor, laid down and proceeded to drool while her eyes flashed white. Black Panther rushed to her side.
Black Panther: "Beloved, are you alright? What's wrong?"
Storm drooled for a few more seconds before her eyes returned to their normal blue color, and she stood up under her own power.
Storm: "Oh, I'm fine, T'Challa. Don't mind me...for a second there, I thought I was in a few scenes in an Avengers issue that was written by Bendis."
Rogue and the Blue Marvel were dancing in a nightclub when Arcade, an old nemeis of the X-Men, knocked the bartender out, disguised himself and took the bartender's place. When Rogue came over for a drink, the disguised Arcade poured one for her.
Rogue: "Thanks, Sugah."
Arcade: "Think nothing of it."
A few minutes after Rogue sipped her drink, she fell to the floor unconscious. While Arcade and a few goons scopped Rogue up and put her in a van, the deadly Nightshade wandered over to the Blue Marvel to keep him from seeing Rogue being carried out of the nightclub.
Nightshade: "Do you have a light, handsome?"
Blue Marvel: "I don't smoke."
Nightshade: "Pity. I'm Nightshade, by the way."
Blue Marvel: "Pleased to meet you. I'm -"
Nightshade: "Adam Brashear, the Blue Marvel. Rumor has it that you recently came out of retirement. Tell me, do you still regret your decision to sit out most of the major events in the Marvel Universe?"
Blue Marvel: "I hate to be rude, but I must really find my date. If you will excuse me..."
Nightshade smiled and whispered in his ear.
Nightshade: "We have your girlfriend. Tell your fellow heroes the X-Men that we have her."
Blue Marvel: "Who's "we?"
Nightshade: "Me and Arcade. They'll know who he is."
Nightshade pulled a pistol out from behind her back, shot into the air and then disappeared as people began freaking out and running all over the place at the sound of the gunshots. Once the crowd got out of control, Blue Marvel lost sight of Nightshade as she and Arcade drove away in the van with the still-unconscious Rogue still slumped over in one of the back seats...