Why Australia Kicks Arse

[Tages]

This shall be the thread in which we discuss all the ways in which the people and culture of our friends in Upside-Down Land excel.

First, as an American, I appreciate how they've been by our side through good times and bad pretty consistently for almost a hundred years now. Even when it wasn't a good idea (see: Iraq) for anyone involved.

Second, while Advance Australia Fair is, well, boring, so are most national anthems. And I challenge you to find an unofficial national anthem that gets stuck between your ears as easily as Waltzing Matilda. Which led to The Band Played Waltzing Matilda, possibly the most beautiful and sad song about war in the English language.

Third, well...



That's actually the happiest-looking picture of Nick Cave I could find.

What other things about Australia kick arse?

[howyadoin]

"Arse"?

.

[Tages]

"Arse"?

.

You know, "ass" in Australianese.

[howyadoin]

You know, "ass" in Australianese.

Ah, thought it was your Anglophilia again.

[Charles RB]

Ennis pays tribute to the Australian peoples:



(There's a recurring bit of the Aussies singing Waltzing Matilda, changing the lyrics to "who'll come on ops in a Wimpy with me" - Wimpy being a nickname for a plane - which was a common drinking song for RAAF men)

[berk]

Ah, thought it was your Anglophilia again.

I remember "arse" as the more common word growing up in Canada, or at least Nfld, and it's the one that still sounds more natural to me, but "ass" seems to have displaced it for the most part. I still say "arse" more often than not, though. Whenever I say "ass" I feel like I'm trying to pretend I'm from California, or New York, or something.

[howyadoin]

I remember "arse" as the more common word growing up in Canada, or at least Nfld, and it's the one that still sounds more natural to me, but "ass" seems to have displaced it for the most part. I still say "arse" more often than not, though. Whenever I say "ass" I feel like I'm trying to pretend I'm from California, or New York, or something.

Yeah, but Tages lives in Nevada.

[rick]

They have special farms hidden in the outback where they have succeeded in growing the most beautiful women in the English speaking world.

[Royal]

Sweetheart

[Asmith]

Aw, Oz is a great place, I wouldn't live anywhere else. But I'd never agree that it 'kicks arse'... it's just a sunny, relaxed, place to be, y'know?

[FanboyStranger]

You pretty much got it right there.

Eddie Campbell, I guess?

[StoneGold]

Without them, we wouldn't know what a knife is. Or that Energizer batteries last longer than all the rest.

[RatFace]

If it wasn't for Australia, we wouldn't have AC/DC or Monty Python's Philosopher's Song.

[Paradox]

From "Foreigners Around the World" by PJ O'Rourke:

AUSTRALIANS
Racial Characteristics:
Violently loud alcoholic roughnecks whose idea of fun is to throw up on your car. The national sport is breaking furniture and the average daily consumption of beer in Sydney is ten and three quarters Imperial gallons for children under the age of nine. "Making a Shambles" is required study in the primary schools and all Australians are bilingual, speaking both English and Sheep. Possibly as a result of their country's being upside down, the local dialect has over 400 terms for vomit. These include "technicolor yawn" "talking to the toilet," "round-trip meal ticket," and "singing lunch." It is illegal to employ the aboriginal inhabitants as anything but toilets, and some of the peculiar forms of native wildlife have up to nine assholes. The recent destruction of Darwin by a hurricane was actually a cover story for the regrettable coincidence of paydays on three separate sheep stations.

Good Points:
Amusing zoos.

Proper Forms of Address:
Steady there, Cool off, For Christ's sake-not in the sink, Stay back, I've got a gun!

An Anecdote Illustrating Something of the Australian Character:
An Australian fellow asks his girl friend to fight, but she says she doesn't want to because she isn't feeling well.
"Whatta ya mean, not feeling well?" he says.
"You know," she says, "I've got my time of the month."
"Whatta ya mean, time of the month?" he says.
"You know," she says, "I've got my period."
"Whatta ya mean, period?" he says.
"You know," she says, "I'm bleeding down here." And she opens up her pants to show him.
"Jesus," he says, "no wonder you're bleeding! They've gone and cut your cock off!"

[Donald M.]

Aw, Oz is a great place, I wouldn't live anywhere else. But I'd never agree that it 'kicks arse'... it's just a sunny, relaxed, place to be, y'know?

I imagine that in Austrailia, much like in England, extreme patriotism is usually greeted with skepticism, not because you aren't patriotic, but because anyone waving the flag too fervently and appealing to your patriotism too strongly is probably trying to sell you something you really don't want.

*looks around*

*sigh*

It's not America I hate, it's Americans.