Unequally Rational and Emotional: A Mahou Sensei Negima Fanfiction Series

[OverMaster]

Mahou Sensei Negima and all related elements and characters are the property and creation of Ken Akamatsu, and the autor of this piece has made no material profit from it, and never will do.

Any similarity between the characters and events of this story and anyone or anything ever actually seen in real life is a pure coincidence.





Prologue:





One Year Ago.


"You can go in without any fear, Hasegawa-san. There's nothing wrong in there".

A bigger lie had never been told before.

But trusting the busty woman's voice, since it was as sweet as honey and as trust-inspiring as an angel's, the young Chisame had nodded and walked in first. Only to stop immediately and yelp in horror at the sight of the scene waiting for her instead.

There was a naked mannequin of sorts over the room's main table, laying on its back with its vacant green eyes fixed on the roof above. The weird thing was the mannequin blinked at random intervals, and its chest rose up and then came down in a blasphemous imitation of human breathing, and its hands wiggled their long thin fingers as the girl looming over the doll's body worked on its mechanical entrails, her face covered by a wielding mask that barely allowed to see her black pigtails poking out of the back of her head.

"Sh-Shizuna-sensei!!" Chisame screeched, rushing back to clash against the tall blonde's stomach. "What's that girl doing there??!!".

"Oh my!" the woman looked in, contemplating the delirious situation for a moment before calling out, "Hakase-san!".

"What?" a muffled question came from inside the mask. The masked girl's thin frame, hunchbacked over her awfully messy work, covered all over by large and smelly spots of grease, oil, and some substance eerily similar to thick, crimson blood, didn't move away from her labor at all.

"Hakase-san!" Minamoto Shizuna insisted. "Stop that immediately, or else you'll be reported to the Dean! I thought we had agreed you wouldn't bring your experiments here! You already have your own laboratory for that!".

Finally, that had made her to turn her welder off and lift the mask off her cute, bespectacled, dirty face. She gave the mature female a somewhat wounded look.

"B-But I'm almost reaching my deadline! If I want to finish before—".

"No excuses" Shizuna said, gentle but firm. "It's just rude to use the dorms for that, especially now you have a roommate".

"I'm not going to be her roommate!" Chisame had quickly protested.

"Now, now" the blonde had calmly pushed her forward, towards the other girl and the robot thing. "Like I said before, there's no need to fear, Hasegawa-san. She is a girl your own age, and not too unlike yourself. Hakase-san, this is Hasegawa Chisame, the student I mentioned to you earlier. Hasegawa-san, this is Hakase Satomi, your fellow student and roommate for the rest of the year, and hopefully beyond".

Chisame cringed while looking at the freak's face. And the freak looked back, with large and curious black eyes, full with an eccentric spark not too unlike that of a drunk monkey. Eyes that were pretty much the only clean thing in that face splattered all over with ill smelling chemical leftovers.

The freak was the one to break the awkward silence with an unfazed, "When did you mention a roommate?".

"Last week" Shizuna fought the vein threatening to pop up into her forehead back down.

"I don't remember that" the Hakase girl replied.

"I even left you a reminder note over your fridge" the sensei stated.

"You did?" the strange girl craned her neck back towards a door and into her kitchen. "Oh, it's true! Yes, I think I do remember now".

Chisame gave another imploring desperate stare up at the tall and attractive female. Sadly, she seemed unmoved by her plight, despite her soft smile and her patting on the poor girl's shoulders.

"She needs someone close around at all times to remind her about such things" Shizuna whispered. "She is a good girl. You'll get along well".

The mannequin chose that moment to creepily rotate her eyes towards Chisame, scaring her even more.

"Eeek!".

Shizuna barely could hold her down by the shoulders enough to prevent her from running away. "Oh dear, I forgot to introduce her! I'm terribly sorry. Hasegawa-san, that is Karakuri Chachamaru, another one of your future classmates at 1-A".

"What?! She's the anatomic display for the class, you mean!" the brown haired girl quickly corrected her.

"Pleased to meet you, Hasegawa-san" the thing spoke with a soft, polite, but perfectly inhuman and sterile voice. "I will be glad to help you with anything I can".

Then it reached up with a hand, grabbing one of Chisame's to give it a gentle and feminine shake.

"Kyaaaa!!!!" Chisame screeched, scared out of her wits. It was so cold! Like a corpse's!

She let the heavy handbags she was carrying to fall down and still attempted to escape, only to immediately stumble into the conveniently placed and firmly planted shapely body of Minamoto-sensei. "Please, you can't do this! You have to reassign me!" she begged.

"I'm afraid all other rooms are full by now" Shizuna commented, now almost sounding sympathetic, passing a hand through Chisame's hair. "Don't worry. Karakuri-san won't be spending most of her time here. She sleeps at the workshop".

"Actually, I haven't programmed her to follow sleep patterns yet" the dirty weirdo piped in. "I don't think I will, actually. Too bothersome, and there are more efficient ways to recharge energy. Oh, sorry. My manners".

She walked briskly to Chisame and quickly took her hands into a much firmer, almost tomboyish, rather clumsy handshake. "Excuse my forgetting you! I have been in an absorbing nonstop finishing procedure for Chachamaru for the last few weeks, and I haven't had the time for much else, I'm afraid. Want to watch?" she offered.

"Hakase-san, I think I have just told you to stop doing that here" Shizuna repeated herself.

"Oh, yes. That..." Hakase sighed, disappointed.

Chisame made a face, looking down at the prone object they seemed to be trying to pass as some sort of human being. "What... what is this... Why are you...".

"I am an artificial intelligence developed under commission of the Mahora Robotics Club" the mannequin informed flatly. "I am going to enlist in this year's first grade class A as a test of my capacities regarding interaction with Japanese modern society. As such, I eagerly look forward my continuing intermingling with your gracious person, Hasegawa-san".

"S-Stop that!" Chisame gasped. "The fact you're being so polite just makes you scarier!".

"Um, maybe I should readjust her speech patterns. Less flowery, more concise and to the point, okay? Okay. I got it" the Dr. Frankenstein wannabe absently stated while wiping her hands clean with a towel that had been laying over a nearby chair. She then handed it over to Chisame, who only then noticed her own hands were just as dirty after the mad scientist's handshake. With a disgusted grimace, she was fast to wipe them as clean as she could.

The whole living room was an absolute mess, as a matter of fact, and she was sure the rest of the dorm would be even worse. Would she have to clean all of that up? She couldn't set a webcamera and allow her just started community of fans to watch... THAT!... around herself. Her wonderful web project would die on its crib!

But of course, the girl with the messy pigtails who was looking at her face couldn't care any less about any of that, could she? She was just there, smiling as a dumb frat boy who had just farted.

Finally, Chisame dared to make the question she had been dreading for the last few minutes.

"Umm... where is the bathroom, please?".

"Well, heh heh" Hakase Satomi scratched the back of her neck sheepishly. "I don't think you should walk in there just yet. You'll see, I was testing Chachamaru's water endurance there a few hours ago, and—".

Chisame bit her lower lip, whimpering under her breath.

That would be a hideously long school year.

[OverMaster]

Chapter One.







One Year Later:





"HAKASE!!" The girl with the long brown hair yelled for the third time that morning. "Hakase, wake up!".

Her roommate only replied with a vague snore and a wave of a hand, turning her back on her and rolling aside so she was facing the wall now.

The standing girl fumed angrily. Fed up with it, she roughly grabbed the prone teenager and lifted her slim body up easily, forcing her to sit up.

"You shouldn't do that..." Hakase Satomi yawned loudly, keeping her eyes still closed. "Serious studies have proved that abrupt interruptions of the sleep periods can cause harmful effects on—".

"Forget those studies! Our studies are what matters now!" Chisame barked at her, perching her hands on her own hips in a challenging manner. "Today's the first day of the new term, remember?".

Hakase mumbled with a nod of her head. Her eyes still remained closed.

"Then stand up already, dammit!" Piping mad, the taller girl grabbed the mad genius and dragged her out of the lower bunk of their bed, making her to moan in incoherent displeasure. "Or I swear to God I'll leave you behind!".

Satomi whined sleepily as Hasegawa Chisame made her to raise her arms up to pull her pajamas' shirt off, then tugged her pants down. By now, the black haired girl had gained some more self awareness, though, and she was able to finish stripping while her roommate began unbuttoning her own pajamas.

"Do I really need to go?" Hakase asked lazily. "First days are nothing but useless introductions. I'm sure it won't make any difference if I stay here finishing—".

By then, Chisame already was fully naked, grabbing her by a hand, and interrupting her by dragging her out of the room and into the small shower cubicle.

The sudden hot waterfall on her body shook Satomi further out of her stupor, but Hasegawa wouldn't take any chances. She started to rub the shampoo on her hated roommate's scalp herself, washing her hair down like a pro.

"You don't need to do that, either..." Hakase yawned again, then coughed as water poured into her mouth.

"Oh, yes, I do!" Chisame insisted. "Because if I don't, you'll walk out of here with shampoo still on your hair, wearing your skirt backwards, and without your tie on! I won't march all the way to the classroom with a walking disaster area!".

The taller female idly wondered what had she done to deserve that as she soaped the shorter girl's back down. She hoped she'd never have to bear a child, but if she ever did, she was sure she'd get tons of prior experience by living with Hakase. That nerd was as hopeless with everyday life as she was bright with academics.

There were a few good things about rooming with her, of course. She was a great help with homework and study sessions; Chisame's grades had gone up from somewhat below the average to quite above it since she had moved with her. She also was always quick to fix her computers in any case she needed it (even when some malcontent troll or ill-loser competitor sent her a virus even she couldn't detect ror neutralize in time), something Chisame was certainly, all in all, thankful for (and part of the reasons why she was tolerating having to wash her back off now).

But mostly, Hakase kept the peepers away. Not intentionally, of course; but Hasegawa had quickly learned it paid off to allow her to use the living room for anything she wanted. The mere sight of that horror, that maelstrom of half finished mechanical abominations and discarded clothes, eternally with the stench of oil and rust floating all over it, was enough to prevent anyone from stepping further inside.

So Chiu had her privacy.

In turn, Satomi had learned to leave the rest of the dorm for Chisame to handle. She was no domestic expert herself, but compared to Hakase, she was Martha Stewart. If Martha Stewart were a cosplaying hacker.

That was another good thing about Satomi; she simply had no interest on Chiu's affairs. She didn't mock them, but she didn't fawn over them either. The first time she had put her eyes on the webpage, she only gave it a brief disapproving glare before turning away without saying a word. And that was it. She had as much interest on criticizing or praising Chisame's cosplay habits as Chisame had on analyzing or disassembling her stupid gizmos.

And they both liked it that way. It was a happily unspoken topic between them.

Now they were fully clothed and eating breakfast. Chisame had cooked, of course; again, she was no master cook, but necessity had taught her. Her roommate was unable to cook anything that didn't smell like a broken radiator and looked even worse.

She was slow as hell to eat, too. Except when she was in a hurry to finish some darn machine. She still had a piece of bacon in her mouth by the time Chisame had enough and pulled her out with herself.

"Come on! We're going to be late!".

"Wait, wait... Eating too fast, not to mention running so shortly afterwards, is unhealthy, didn't you know? Specialists from Toudai University have determined that—".

Again she was dragged along, a huffing Chisame keeping her firmly grabbed by a hand. Hakase had to run after her to keep her pace. Barely.

Even so, they still were the last two to make it to the classroom, although luckily for them, the teacher had not arrived yet, either. Obviously, Hakase didn't mind one way or another; like always, the first thing she did was to rush over to Chachamaru, to start the routine questioning on her latest developments and incidents, quickly taking notes, all under the blond Evangeline's indolent glare.

Chisame, like every other day, sat down next to the ever quiet Ayase Yue, both girls merely exchanging a brief 'Good morning'.

The hacker actually almost liked Yue. At the very least, she was respectful and mindful of her privacy. True, there had to be something deeply wrong with someone who kept such low grades despite reading so much (and always displaying a stunning intellect when asked about anything), not to mention her despicable tastes in juice flavors, but that still was small potatoes compared to the issues of the rest of the class.

Yue's pal Saotome Haruna sat next to a window, frantically doodling obscene sketches on a notebook, biting her lower lip.

Hakase's friend Chao Lingshen and her portly partner in crime Yotsuba Satsuki were selling hot meat buns along the desks.

The redheaded Kagurazaka Asuna fumed madly in her seat, with a large group of girls gathered around her listening avidly. Although too steamed up to explain herself clearly, she seemed to be saying something about someone replacing Takahata-sensei for that year. So Takahata was leaving the class, Chisame thought. A pity. He actually was one of the most normal teachers around. She truly hoped they wouldn't get Itoshiki-sensei instead.

Shiina Sakurako and Akashi Yuuna were distracting the Class Rep while the tomboyish Kasuga Misora and the tiny Narutaki twins set a standard foolish trap at the door. Chisame sneered. It was to be expected from the childlike twins, but Kasuga definitely should have known better by now, after her latest few stays at detention.

Her errant thoughts were interrupted by Konoe Konoka's perky and happy voice.

"Hey, hey, Chisame-chan!".

She gave the Konoe heiress a neutral look. The black haired girl could be annoying at times, but looking at those huge and cheerful dark eyes, it was nearly impossible to feel angry at her.

"What do you want?".

"I'm reading everyone's future! You want to know what's waiting for you in this new period, don't you?" Konoka giggled, then grabbed Chisame's right hand without really waiting for a confirmation. Yet her attitude was never pushy or rude, but simply too eager and fast to avoid. Hasegawa couldn't do anything but wait as Konoka kept looking at her palm, carefully, long and hard, making slight humming sounds every so few seconds. Until she finally let the hand go and merrily exclaimed. "You're in luck today! This is the day you're going to meet your fated love!".

Chisame couldn't help but violently jerk back with a full facial blush, even as she heard some other girls laughing at her reaction. "D-Don't say such stupid things!".

"It's okay! She's just joking" Kakizaki Misa waved a hand around. "That's the very same thing she just told me".

"Me too" the short haired Izumi Ako added, with a gentler, softer short laugh. "Konoka-san is truly a kidder!".

Konoka made the most adorable pouting face. "I'm not kidding! My predictions don't ever fail!". Instantly, she perked up again, looking at one of the seats at the back rows. "Ne, ne, Setchan! Don't you want to know your destiny in love, too?".

The thin and pale girl she was addressing looked aside with an indifferent expression.

"Not interested" she icily said.

Konoka's face fell down for a moment, but then she, along with most of the others, was startled by the sounds of nervous chattering right outside their door.

"It's them!" Misora grinned, with an evil spark in her eyes. Rushing back to her chair, she kept her vision fully focused on the door, like a hawk eyeing a mouse.

The door started being pushed open from the outside.

[chilled monkey]

Great story.

Mahou Sensei Negima is a brilliant series and you're doing a splendid job with it here.

[OverMaster]

A small head peeked in carefully, looking inside with large chocolate eyes not too unlike those of a deer. It looked like, of all things, a boy. A child. Tiny bifocal glasses were on the bridge of his diminutive nose, and his dark brown hair seemed to have been combed as well as possible, only to fail at avoiding conveying its own unruliness.

He stared at them, and all of them stared back, suddenly gripped by an uneasy silence.

Then the eraser set on top of the door fell down towards his head.

It all happened in the blink of an eye, but Chisame still could notice it.

The boy had tensed up in alarm, and then, for some reason, the eraser stopped in midair for half a second. Only to reassume its fall just another split second later, and only after the kid stared up at it with a face of... guilt, actually. As if he had just done something he shouldn't have.

It wasn't until then that the eraser hit his head down, showering him with chalk dust.

But that wasn't the end of it, oh no. Misora was a craftswoman, a master of her technique. A simple eraser would never suffice. So, as the boy coughed, stumbling inside, his right foot clashed against a tightly tensedwire. Naturally, he fell down on his face, just as a bucket full of water fell onto his head, and several arrows with suction cup points were shot from the walls and all over his body.

Wile E. Coyote would have clapped.

But 2-A, even Misora herself, had gulped in horror as a single woman. All of them but Evangeline and Zazie Rainyday, always silent, always stonefaced.

The boy just laid there, pitifully, as soft sobs could be heard from inside the bucket. Behind him, right at the doorway, Minamoto Shizuna stared, wide eyed, until she focused her view narrowly into her usual main suspect.

"Kasuga-san..." the adult woman said.

Misora looked aside nervously. "I didn't do it, no one saw me doing it, you can't prove anything!".

The Class Rep already was crouched down at the boy's side, carefully removing the bucket from his head, lovingly drying his tears with her soft and skilled fingers. "Oh dear! I'm so very sorry! It's my fault! I should have checked!".

"Sorry, sorry!" Narutaki Fumika hyperventilated. "We thought you'd be our new teacher!".

"It's only a child..." Sakaki Makie once again showed her talent for the obvious.

"No way! He must be a circus midget!" Narutaki Fuuka gasped.

Well, you should know a few things on the matter, Chisame thought cynically.

"Actually, he indeed is your new teacher" Shizuna replied, helping him to stand up. "Negi-sensei, please introduce yourself".

"Y-Yes!" wiping his face as clean and dry as he could with a fine tissue the Class Rep had offered him, the child faced his dazzled audience and cleared his throat. "G-Good morning, everyone! Pleased to meet you! My name is Negi Springfield, and starting today, I'll teach you mag— I mean, English, as your homeroom teacher! Please, let's all do our best here!".

For a moment, you could have heard a needle falling at the classroom. All the girls seemed to have turned into salt statues.

That was until Haruna sprang up with a high pitched squeal.

"HE'S SO CUTE!!".

That was the go sign for more than half of the class to charge forward and pounce onto him, tackling him against the teacher's desk and burying him into a cascade of hugging bodies. Even the normally reserved and stoic Ookuchi Akira had joined them, with a blush running over her cheeks.

Still firmly planted at her chair, Chisame took a look at the few others left behind. Yue shrugged her shoulders indifferently, then pulled one of her infernal juice boxes out and took a first sip from it.

Hakase just stared vacantly at the front of the room, as if her brain was in a rebooting. Her face betrayed no emotion at all, and for once, Hasegawa found her absolutely impossible to read.

Evangeline seemed to scowl a little, but then again, that was her overall attitude towards everything.

Chachamaru took readings of the scene through her now slightly glowing green eyes, and you almost could hear the little beepings and boopings going on inside of her head.

Setsuna was simply looking out a window.

Zazie had pulled a few balls out of her handbag and was now juggling them, oblivious to everything around herself. For the first time in her life, Chisame envied her.

The hacker made her way to the vaguely amused Shizuna. "Sensei" she humorlessly told her. "This is a joke, right?".

"I'm afraid not" Shizuna said. Chisame hated that tone in her voice. It was the very same one she had used when she had stuck her with Hakase little more than twelve months ago.

"How old are you?!" the scarlet-haired Asakura Kazumi had swiftly reentered her class reporter mode, fishing a microphone out of her backpack and pushing it against the kid's mouth.

"Ehhh!!??" he blinked. "Oh, well, I'm ten!".

"Where are you from?" Murakami Natsumi asked. "You sound like a foreigner".

"I... I come from the mountains of Wales..." he blabbered nervously.

"That's near Spain, right?" Makie wanted to know.

"Where do you live now?" Kugimiya Madoka spoke next.

"I... It hasn't been decided yet...".

Right then, however, a taller, stronger girl pushed Madoka aside and grabbed the boy his shirt, pulling him face to face with herself. He was looking at a mismatched set of a blue eye and a green one now. Asuna.

"You, brat!" she barked. "What was that thing you just did with the eraser?!".

"... What?" he yelped.

"Don't play the fool!" she shot back. "We all saw it, didn't we? No matter how you look at it, it's simply impossible!".

Chisame found herself nodding at it. For once, Asuna was right. She had noticed it too. Hadn't the others...? They couldn't not notice it, right? But looking at Satomi's clueless face, it was painfully clear that yes, some of them had missed the detail.

"It must have been a freak breeze" Misa piped in.

"INSIDE OF A BUILDING?!" Asuna noted.

"It'd get in through a window" Naba Chizuru opined.

"NOT MOVING ANYTHING BUT AN ERASER?!" Asuna claimed.

"Asuna-san, please!" the blonde Class Rep raised her voice, slamming a hand down on the desk a few times. "Let our teacher go right now!".

The redhead growled at her. "I'd be very happy to let him go for good, yes!".

The elegant, refinated class president huffed at her. "As expected from a violent maniacal ape like you. You show no respect neither for authority, nor for the defenseless".

A vein popped into Asuna's forehead. "Maniacal... ape...??".

"You have not evolved beyond that" the Iincho was unfazed. "Clearly, the young gentleman you are manhandling is a prodigy of his field. We all should feel honored to have him here. Perhaps he could achieve the miracle of teaching you anything other than the alphabet".

Asuna let the child go to face her natural nemesis. "What's with you now, being so sure about this twerp?".

"Hm... It's painfully obvious for anyone with a few working brain cells" the blonde casually brushed a lock of golden hair off her own forehead. "Mahora Academy only employs the best of the best, and for some foreign youngster to be working here, he must be nothing but the pinnacle of precocious experience".

Asuna chuckled knowingly. "Yeah, right, I'd bet you want to have some precocious experience with him".

The Class Rep narrowed her eyes, as if she had felt something biting her. "What do you mean with that?".

Asuna said only one word. "Shotacon".

That had done it.

"WHAT?!?" the refinated girl stopped being so refinated as she jumped straight for Asuna. "Take that back, you... you... gravedigger! It's not my fault you can't realize your dreams of hitting on every elder man that walks your way!".

They started struggling with each other, as the girls around them cheered on wildly, and Shizuna and the child made their best to keep them apart from tearing themselves into pieces.

"AT LEAST I LIKE THEM OF LEGAL AGE!!".

"YES, IT'D WORK FINE IF YOU WERE OF LEGAL AGE TOO! SHAMELESS LOLITA!!".

"I'LL GET OLDER, BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET AS YOUNG AS THE BABIES YOU HARASS!".

Chisame buried her face into her hands. Even Itoshiki-sensei would have been better than that.

[RubberLotus]

A small head peeked in carefully, looking inside with large chocolate eyes not too unlike those of a deer. It looked like, of all things, a boy. A child. Tiny bifocal glasses were on the bridge of his diminutive nose, and his dark brown hair seemed to have been combed as well as possible, only to fail at avoiding conveying its own unruliness.

He stared at them, and all of them stared back, suddenly gripped by an uneasy silence.

Then the eraser set on top of the door fell down towards his head.

It all happened in the blink of an eye, but Chisame still could notice it.

The boy had tensed up in alarm, and then, for some reason, the eraser stopped in midair for half a second. Only to reassume its fall just another split second later, and only after the kid stared up at it with a face of... guilt, actually. As if he had just done something he shouldn't have.

It wasn't until then that the eraser hit his head down, showering him with chalk dust.

But that wasn't the end of it, oh no. Misora was a craftswoman, a master of her technique. A simple eraser would never suffice. So, as the boy coughed, stumbling inside, his right foot clashed against a tightly tensedwire. Naturally, he fell down on his face, just as a bucket full of water fell onto his head, and several arrows with suction cup points were shot from the walls and all over his body.

Wile E. Coyote would have clapped.

But 2-A, even Misora herself, had gulped in horror as a single woman. All of them but Evangeline and Zazie Rainyday, always silent, always stonefaced.

The boy just laid there, pitifully, as soft sobs could be heard from inside the bucket. Behind him, right at the doorway, Minamoto Shizuna stared, wide eyed, until she focused her view narrowly into her usual main suspect.

"Kasuga-san..." the adult woman said.

Misora looked aside nervously. "I didn't do it, no one saw me doing it, you can't prove anything!".

The Class Rep already was crouched down at the boy's side, carefully removing the bucket from his head, lovingly drying his tears with her soft and skilled fingers. "Oh dear! I'm so very sorry! It's my fault! I should have checked!".

"Sorry, sorry!" Narutaki Fumika hyperventilated. "We thought you'd be our new teacher!".

"It's only a child..." Sakaki Makie once again showed her talent for the obvious.

"No way! He must be a circus midget!" Narutaki Fuuka gasped.

Well, you should know a few things on the matter, Chisame thought cynically.

"Actually, he indeed is your new teacher" Shizuna replied, helping him to stand up. "Negi-sensei, please introduce yourself".

"Y-Yes!" wiping his face as clean and dry as he could with a fine tissue the Class Rep had offered him, the child faced his dazzled audience and cleared his throat. "G-Good morning, everyone! Pleased to meet you! My name is Negi Springfield, and starting today, I'll teach you mag— I mean, English, as your homeroom teacher! Please, let's all do our best here!".

For a moment, you could have heard a needle falling at the classroom. All the girls seemed to have turned into salt statues.

That was until Haruna sprang up with a high pitched squeal.

"HE'S SO CUTE!!".

That was the go sign for more than half of the class to charge forward and pounce onto him, tackling him against the teacher's desk and burying him into a cascade of hugging bodies. Even the normally reserved and stoic Ookuchi Akira had joined them, with a blush running over her cheeks.

Still firmly planted at her chair, Chisame took a look at the few others left behind. Yue shrugged her shoulders indifferently, then pulled one of her infernal juice boxes out and took a first sip from it.

Hakase just stared vacantly at the front of the room, as if her brain was in a rebooting. Her face betrayed no emotion at all, and for once, Hasegawa found her absolutely impossible to read.

Evangeline seemed to scowl a little, but then again, that was her overall attitude towards everything.

Chachamaru took readings of the scene through her now slightly glowing green eyes, and you almost could hear the little beepings and boopings going on inside of her head.

Setsuna was simply looking out a window.

Zazie had pulled a few balls out of her handbag and was now juggling them, oblivious to everything around herself. For the first time in her life, Chisame envied her.

The hacker made her way to the vaguely amused Shizuna. "Sensei" she humorlessly told her. "This is a joke, right?".

"I'm afraid not" Shizuna said. Chisame hated that tone in her voice. It was the very same one she had used when she had stuck her with Hakase little more than twelve months ago.

"How old are you?!" the scarlet-haired Asakura Kazumi had swiftly reentered her class reporter mode, fishing a microphone out of her backpack and pushing it against the kid's mouth.

"Ehhh!!??" he blinked. "Oh, well, I'm ten!".

"Where are you from?" Murakami Natsumi asked. "You sound like a foreigner".

"I... I come from the mountains of Wales..." he blabbered nervously.

"That's near Spain, right?" Makie wanted to know.

"Where do you live now?" Kugimiya Madoka spoke next.

"I... It hasn't been decided yet...".

Right then, however, a taller, stronger girl pushed Madoka aside and grabbed the boy his shirt, pulling him face to face with herself. He was looking at a mismatched set of a blue eye and a green one now. Asuna.

"You, brat!" she barked. "What was that thing you just did with the eraser?!".

"... What?" he yelped.

"Don't play the fool!" she shot back. "We all saw it, didn't we? No matter how you look at it, it's simply impossible!".

Chisame found herself nodding at it. For once, Asuna was right. She had noticed it too. Hadn't the others...? They couldn't not notice it, right? But looking at Satomi's clueless face, it was painfully clear that yes, some of them had missed the detail.

"It must have been a freak breeze" Misa piped in.

"INSIDE OF A BUILDING?!" Asuna noted.

"It'd get in through a window" Naba Chizuru opined.

"NOT MOVING ANYTHING BUT AN ERASER?!" Asuna claimed.

"Asuna-san, please!" the blonde Class Rep raised her voice, slamming a hand down on the desk a few times. "Let our teacher go right now!".

The redhead growled at her. "I'd be very happy to let him go for good, yes!".

The elegant, refinated class president huffed at her. "As expected from a violent maniacal ape like you. You show no respect neither for authority, nor for the defenseless".

A vein popped into Asuna's forehead. "Maniacal... ape...??".

"You have not evolved beyond that" the Iincho was unfazed. "Clearly, the young gentleman you are manhandling is a prodigy of his field. We all shoul feel honored to have him here. Perhaps he could achieve the miracle of teaching you anything other than the alphabet".

Asuna let the child go to face her natural nemesis. "What's with you now, being so sure about this twerp?".

"Hm... It's painfully obvious for anyone with a few working brain cells" the blonde casually brushed a lock of golden hair off her own forehead. "Mahora Academy only employs the best of the best, and for some foreign youngster to be working here, he must be nothing but the pinnacle of precocious experience".

Asuna chuckled knowingly. "Yeah, right, I'd bet you want to have some precocious experience with him".

The Class Rep narrowed her eyes, as if she had felt something biting her. "What do you mean with that?".

Asuna said only one word. "Shotacon".

That had done it.

"WHAT?!?" the refinated girl stopped being so refinated as she jumped straight for Asuna. "Take that back, you... you... gravedigger! It's not my fault you can't realize your dreams of hitting on every elder man that walks your way!".

They started struggling with each other, as the girls around them cheered on wildly, and Shizuna and the child made their best to keep them apart from tearing themselves into pieces.

"AT LEAST I LIKE THEM OF LEGAL AGE!!".

"YES, IT'D WORK FINE IF YOU WERE OF LEGAL AGE TOO! SHAMELESS LOLITA!!".

"I'LL GET OLDER, BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET AS YOUNG AS THE BABIES YOU HARASS!".

Chisame buried her face into her hands. Even Itoshiki-sensei would have been better than that.

And once again, every word of this story oozes awesomeness of several magnitudes higher than anything I can put out on my best day.

PS: You told me to shoot away my idea via PM, and I did. Waddaya think?

[OverMaster]

OOC: I'm shuffling your ideas around to see what can I suggest on the few rough spots I saw. I should have a PM reply ready for tonight.

[OverMaster]

The fact Chisame had learned how to cook due to the circumstances of her life with Hakase still didn't mean she liked to do it. So, whenever they had enough money, they would go have dinner at the Chao Bao Zi. The small restaurant's owner, their class' own Chao Lingshen, was Satomi's closest research colleague, so they always got a special discount. And there was no point on denying the food was delicious.

So, that evening, they had ended up there as well. Chisame wasn't in the mood to cook at all. They sat together eating their bowls of ramen at the counter bar, while Chachamaru and Yotsuba served the tables and Chao herself counted the night's income at the register box.

"So, what do you think about the new teacher, neh?" the fair skinned Chinese girl finally asked them.

"I think it's a mistake" Chisame spoke coldly. "What can a freaking child teach us?".

"Oh, I don't know. His first class today was rather good and to the point-yo..." Chao mused quietly. "As soon as he finally could separate Asuna and the Iincho...".

"It's all the same for me" Hakase answered with a very short shrugging of her narrow shoulders. "In any case, I've never met any teacher who knew more than me, child or adult".

From the mouth of anyone else, it'd have sounded as a hideous, megalomaniacal boast, but somehow, Hakase made it to sound simply like a matter of fact devoid of any emotion. Mainly because it was completely true.

Chao hummed to herself as she closed the register. Something was wrong with her, Chisame suspected. She seemed unusually introspective and calmed after joking with the others about Negi, and since the day's class had finished. Not like Chisame cared, of course.

Of course.

Later, as she and Satomi walked back to their dorm, she, for once, felt tempted to ask the scientist a personal question.

"Hakase?".

"Yes?".

"Didn't you notice anything strange with Lingshen today?".

"What? Huh, no. I don't think so. Why do you ask?".

"It's nothing. Forget it".

"Oh, sure".

She had sounded almost too happy to say that. And it was true. If there was something Hakase could be trusted on, that was on her forgetting anything not related to science.

However, Chisame's temporal peace of mind was soon shattered once more while approaching their dorm. There was someone inside, since there was light coming out of one of their windows. But how...? Chisame ran fearfully to the door, dreading the end of her golden Internet empire. If anyone had learned her secret, she would never live it down. She'd lose the perfect balance she had fought so hard to achieve!

She was mildly relieved to see it was Shizuna-sensei inside, and not any of her classmates. Then her spirits sunk back down when she saw him with the woman, both of them sitting at the couch, watching TV.

The brat.

"My, my, you two sure took a long time to arrive!" Shizuna greeted the girls. "Sorry for intruding, but we waited outside for too long, so I decided to use the master key".

"Good evening" Negi bowed respectfully.

Chisame hoped she wasn't as pale with shock as she felt. If only she could look as unaffected as Hakase was... "Wh-Why did you two 'need' to get in here?!".

"Well, you will see, Dean Konoe gave a special instruction for Negi-sensei to move here until we can find a permanent place for him" Shizuna informed.

"I'm sorry to be a bother" the boy apologized.

"What?!" Chisame snapped. "He's supposed to be a teacher, isn't he?! Why can't he stay with any other teacher?".

"Most of us either live too far, or have children of their own, or simply have far too small living quarters" the beautiful blone explained patiently. "He can't live alone, and your other classmates are too... enthusiastic or too... complex for a child to be trusted to them".

Chisame made a face. How desperate they had to be for the two of them to be their best hope? In any instance, it was logical to guess the old man wouldn't dump that load on his beloved grandaughter. Damn favoritisms.

Satomi didn't look too shaken by the news, but still seemed wary in her own way. "I don't think I could carry my experiments with full freedom if I have him running around" she informed dutifully.

"You shouldn't be carrying experiments here in the first place" the adult reminded her.

Hakase sighed. "It always has to be that loophole, doesn't it?".

Negi lowered his gaze to the big travel bag laying at his feet, looking humble and saddened.

"In any case, it's a direct command from the Headmaster himself" Shizuna insisted. "There's no use on trying to refuse it".

"But, if there's no place for me—" Negi started.

"There it is" Minamoto stated conclusively.

Chisame grumbled. At the very least, all her Chiu wardrobe and related items were safely stocked into her special closet, away from indiscret eyes for the moment. "How long will that take?" she wanted to know.

"As long as a better arrangement can be found" the woman said.

In Mahora Academy burocratic terms, that meant, 'It's intended to be permanent, so you'd better shut up and take it', as Chisame knew from experience. It was the same reply she got back when she first attempted to file a petition to be transfered to a solo room all those months ago.

Both girls looked at each other's eyes, and found no clear answer, but still, Chisame decided not to delay the unavoidable anymore. "Okay" she gave a sigh. "He can stay. For now".

The child beamed up a huge, cheerful smile, as bright as the Sun, hated bane of any reclusive hacker. "Thank you very much!" he chirped joyfully.

Good Lord, he was so sickeningly sweet. Was he for real? Chisame already had her strong doubts.

But mostly, she was terrified about what new roommate would they give her the NEXT year.

[OverMaster]

The bedroom Chao Lingshen shared with Yotsuba Satsuki was completely silent save for the plump girl's soft dreamy breathing on the bed's lower bunk. Chao couldn't help but smiling as she looked down at that innocent and full face, so unsuspecting, so blissful.

The Chinese girl sat by her desk near the bed, breathing deeply before taking her gaze apart from her roommate and opening her secret journal. Sometimes, such a primitive, normally laughable medium was the best option for filing information. It couldn't be hacked into. It was completely private, and fully unexpected from someone with her preferences.

And it was fully written in code. Her own code. Only she knew about it, or about the journal's very existence; she had memorized the whole code and left no decoders anywhere. No Rosetta stones to unearth, ever. No one would even know about their existence. Not Satsuki. Not Chachamaru. Not Satomi. Certainly not Ku Fei, who wouldn't have been able to even begin to understand her writings if left with a full manual to decipher her clues, that poor wonderful soul.

It was her own, exclusive and most valued secret. The whole, full weight of it all was her own cross to carry. No one else's.






Entry: Day One-Stage One-Attempt Number (CLASSIFIED).


The main subject, Negi Springfield, arrived today as expected. No major departures from prior iterations were observed in Class 2-A's reactions to his appointment. The subject also seems to follow the same behavioral and ethical patterns experienced in prior repeats of the procedure. (FURTHER RESEARCH REQUIRED).

However, my family tree has changed again.

The 'branches' are still basically the same, but their order has shifted once more. As long as I keep the same core DNA makeup and upbringing background, I should be okay. But I cannot keep doing this for much longer. Soon, I will age enough to make for an unconvincing student for this class.

I might have to start looking into developing a permanent extract derived from the Age Deceiving Pills. However, such a change is difficult to hope to achieve even with my current resources. Not even Mc Dowell has managed to perfect any sort of magic that can grant her a permanent physical age different from that she had upon reaching her current status. As a human, I am unlikely to achieve what she couldn't in that regard.


She looked at her face in the desk's mirror. The secondary effects of constant time travelling had been kind to her. She still looked the same as always, didn't she? Yes, she did, Chao decided. At least she hoped so; betting on the memories from prior loops once their events had been overwritten was always a risky gamble. She still could pass as a fourteen years old for a few iterations more, although she truly wished it wouldn't be needed. It was getting harder and harder to keep the facade... not the physical one, but the emotional one... with each passing try.

She went back to her writing.



My sources have informed me the subject will be designated to cohabit with Hasegawa Chisame and Hakase Satomi for this occasion. This could be useful; proximity through Satomi could allow me to keep a closer watch on him than before. By now, I am convinced that might be the key to my success.

Then again, proximity to him could also be my undoing.

I write these lines as a future reminder to myself, to not get emotionally involved beyond the limits that have been proved being hazardous to the mission in the past. Emotional links are always a need in the context of the situation at hand, both for the sake of my own mental health and my interactions with the subjects, but I cannot allow myself more mistakes born out of my subjective feelings. Time and time again I have failed, both when I try to get too involved, and when I try to get too distant. Why? Where, do I wonder, is the perfect point to access the desired result? Is there such a thing in the first place?.

Am I afraid of leaving again? Do I want to belong so much? Am I so afraid of going through the heartache one more time? Of fighting him yet again? And of seeing my efforts ultimately failing once more no matter if I defeat him or not?.

Exactly what do I need to do that I haven't done before? That is the question I need to answer to solve this riddle.

I am so tired of trying, and yet I cannot quit it. Is the future impossible to change? No. I cannot allow myself such expressions of selfdoubt and despair. Not when I might be so close to a breakthrough.

That is why I keep writing this.

I trust we will find a way. With any luck, it will happen in this very same loop.

There ARE a few things I have not tried yet. Perhaps, it is a matter of attempting another approach. A different angle.

Hopefully, the new factors added to the situation in this repeat of the overall situational frame will grant me the chance to actually make a difference now.





She closed the journal with a sigh, locked it down at its secret place, and kissed the sleeping Satsuki's forehead lightly. She climbed up into her bunk with an athlete's agility, slipped the blankets over herself, and tried to sleep.

[RubberLotus]

The bedroom Chao Lingshen shared with Yotsuba Satsuki was completely silent save for the plump girl's soft dreamy breathing on the bed's lower bunk. Chao couldn't help but smiling as she looked down at that innocent and full face, so unsuspecting, so blissful.

The Chinese girl sat by her desk near the bed, breathing deeply before taking her gaze apart from her roommate and opening her secret journal. Sometimes, such a primitive, normally laughable medium was the best option for filing information. It couldn't be hacked into. It was completely private, and fully unexpected from someone with her preferences.

And it was fully written in code. Her own code. Only she knew about it, or about the journal's very existence; she had memorized the whole code and left no decoders anywhere. No Rosetta stones to unearth, ever. No one would even know about their existence. Not Satsuki. Not Chachamaru. Not Satomi. Certainly not Ku Fei, who wouldn't have been able to even begin to understand her writings if left with a full manual to decipher her clues, that poor wonderful soul.

It was her own, exclusive and most valued secret. The whole, full weight of it all was her own cross to carry. No one else's.






Entry: Day One-Stage One-Attempt Number (CLASSIFIED).


The main subject, Negi Springfield, arrived today as expected. No major departures from prior iterations were observed in Class 2-A's reactions to his appointment. The subject also seems to follow the same behavioral and ethical patterns experienced in prior repeats of the procedure. (FURTHER RESEARCH REQUIRED).

However, my family tree has changed again.

The 'branches' are still basically the same, but their order has shifted once more. As long as I keep the same core DNA makeup and upbringing background, I should be okay. But I cannot keep doing this for much longer. Soon, I will age enough to make for an unconvincing student for this class.

I might have to start looking into developing a permanent extract derived from the Age Deceiving Pills. However, such a change is difficult to hope to achieve even with my current resources. Not even Mc Dowell has managed to perfect any sort of magic that can grant her a permanent physical age different from that she had upon reaching her current status. As a human, I am unlikely to achieve what she couldn't in that regard.


She looked at her face in the desk's mirror. The secondary effects of constant time travelling had been kind to her. She still looked the same as always, didn't she? Yes, she did, Chao decided. At least she hoped so; betting on the memories from prior loops once their events had been overwritten was always a risky gamble. She still could pass as a fourteen years old for a few iterations more, although she truly wished it wouldn't be needed. It was getting harder and harder to keep the facade... not the physical one, but the emotional one... with each passing try.

She went back to her writing.



My sources have informed me the subject will be designated to cohabit with Hasegawa Chisame and Hakase Satomi for this occasion. This could be useful; proximity through Satomi could allow me to keep a closer watch on him than before. By now, I am convinced that might be the key to my success.

Then again, proximity to him could also be my undoing.

I write these lines as a future reminder to myself, to not get emotionally involved beyond the limits that have been proved being hazardous to the mission in the past. Emotional links are always a need in the context of the situation at hand, both for the sake of my own mental health and my interactions with the subjects, but I cannot allow myself more mistakes born out of my subjective feelings. Time and time again I have failed, both when I try to get too involved, and when I try to get too distant. Why? Where, do I wonder, is the perfect point to access the desired result? Is there such a thing in the first place?.

Am I afraid of leaving again? Do I want to belong so much? Am I so afraid of going through the heartache one more time? Of fighting him yet again? And of seeing my efforts ultimately failing once more no matter if I defeat him or not?.

Exactly what do I need to do that I haven't done before? That is the question I need to answer to solve this riddle.

I am so tired of trying, and yet I cannot quit it. Is the future impossible to change? No. I cannot allow myself such expressions of selfdoubt and despair. Not when I might be so close to a breakthrough.

That is why I keep writing this.

I trust we will find a way. With any luck, it will happen in this very same loop.

There ARE a few things I have not tried yet. Perhaps, it is a matter of attempting another approach. A different angle.

Hopefully, the new factors added to the situation in this repeat of the overall situational frame will grant me the chance to actually make a difference now.





She closed the journal with a sigh, locked it down at its secret place, and kissed the sleeping Satsuki's forehead lightly. She climbed up into her bunk with an athlete's agility, slipped the blankets over herself, and tried to sleep.

Ah, yes. The plot thickens, yes?

It's gotta be tough as hell to churn out a chapter every 1-2 days, right?

[OverMaster]

Chapter 2.

Act One:




It was, without a shadow of doubt, Hasegawa Chisame's fondest dream.

She sat at the head of Class 2-A, on a golden, richly decorated throne, wearing a gorgeous pink dress, like a fairy tale princess. Hakase and the brat were on their hands and knees before her, both of them serving as stools for each one of her feet. The rest of the class paid tribute knelt down across the classroom.

"I'm sorry for being such a stuck-up Shotacon!" Ayaka said.

"I'm sorry for being so stupid!" Makie said.

"I'm sorry for being so arrogant despite being nothing but a midget with awful grades!" Evangeline sobbed pitifully.

"I'm sorry for being so nosy!" Kazumi said.

"I'm sorry for being a robot!" Chachamaru said.

"I'm sorry for being so freakishly tall and old-looking!" the deeply tanned Tatsumiya Mana added.

"WE'RE ALL SORRY FOR BEING SO STRANGE!!" they all chorused, hailing her. "WE'LL BECOME A NORMAL CLASS FOR YOU, CHIU-SAMA!!".

The Queen of The Internet laughed and laughed. Relaxing back on her throne, she felt a soft warm breeze caressing her face lovingly.

Chisame stirred on her bed as Negi's soft breath blew into her face at short intervals, the boy making the shortest, cutest tiny snores you could ever imagine. His lips seemed to look for something, pouting up for a kiss.

"Sis..." he whispered longingly.

Chisame's eyes opened themselves very slowly. Which one of the peasant freaks had just dared to name her as her sister? She would teach her, she would...

She would quickly panic at seeing a pouting small mouth hovering scarce inches away from her own! Aiming for a full-on kiss on the lips!

Her scream of terror shook the whole room down to its foundations.



At the dorm room next door, Miyazaki Nodoka woke up with a start. Then she was afraid since everything was pitch black despite her eyes being open now. Then she remembered to brush the thick long bangs of dark hair from her face, and she sighed with relief as she found herself staring at the ceiling.

"I wonder what was that?" Yue's quiet voice came from the lower bunk.

"It... It sounded like Hasegawa-san..." Nodoka's beautiful, shy voice cracked nervously. "Maybe we should—".

She could hear Yue rolling on her side below her, huffing sleepily. "For Chisame? No thanks".

Nodoka sighed.



Back at the next room, Satomi yawned as she finally could wake up enough to see Chisame, red faced, standing next to the bed, with an ashamed Negi withstanding the weight of her verbal onslaught.

"What the hell were you trying to do?!" she screamed.

"I... I'm sorry..." he whimpered. "I'm used to sleep with my sister, and I sleepwalk sometimes...".

"What kind of sleepwalker goes up a bunk when he can stay below?!" she demanded to know. "Why didn't you sneak into Hakase's bed?!".

Numbly, Hakase's rational brain wondered if that statement should offend her in some form. Her reptilian brain, however, just told it to shut up and go back to sleep. The rational brain stomped its primitive counterpart down, all the while rationalizing Hasegawa's question did have some logical sense and it shouldn't be taken as any sort of offense. Hakase herself was just too tired to pay attention to either brain for once.

"You... You smelled more like my sister..." he was defending himself.

"Mmm?" Satomi casually sniffed the air. "Sensei, since you bring on the topic of smell, and hoping you don't perceive my words on this matter as any kind of personal insult regarding your personal presentation... Might I inquire if you are, as I suspect, the source of this sudden peculiar nefarious fragance?".

Chisame scowled, then sniffed at him, closely, making him to sweat bullets. "She's right! You stink like a corpse! Since when haven't you showered?!".

"Th-That's... that's quite a rude question to ask from anyone, Hasegawa-san!" the boy protested. "As your teacher, I must object on such manners!".

"Spoken by the perverted brat who sneaks into girls' beds!" Chisame retorted. "Answer my question, will you?".

He shrank down, unable to speak.

Hakase sighed, then sat upright on her bed's edge and motioned for him to get closer. "Come here. You can confess the truth to me. I will not, under any circumstances, lose my emotional control" she promised.

He trusted her enough to obey her, whispering something into her right ear.

"Ah. I see" she nodded calmly. "That's actually quite unhygienic. You could adquire several skin diseases, and even parasitary infections, that way. No, I don't quite believe the use of colognes will solve the problem. No, not even Old Spice. Chisame" she called over. "He claims suffering from an acute fear of baths. Do you think it could be labeled as hydrophobia?".

A vein bulged up on Chisame's forehead. "I understand...".

Silently, without exploding or lashing out again, she gently pushed Negi out of the bedroom, then closed the door behind him. The boy breathed easier, believing the worst had passed by. The poor fool.

One moment later, Chisame opened the door again, now clad in nothing but a navy blue school swimsuit. And carrying a large basket full with bath products and utensils in a hand.

"Oh, no!" he gasped aloud.

"Oh, yes!" she grabbed him and pulled him back inside. "Okay, take those pants off! The shirt, too! Didn't you want to sleep with your Big Sis, perverted brat? And kiss her? Well, consider yourself lucky! Your Big Sis is going to give you a bath!".

"Oh, no, no...!" he cried. "Mercy...!!!".

Satomi gave them a still sleepy look. "Our shower is far too small for someone who struggles around that much. Could I suggest taking him to the public bath instead?".

"And giving him that much open space to run away? I don't think so!" Chisame was applying her best attempt at a wrestling supplex on him while stripping him of his underwear. "And besides, only an idiot would take him to a place where there are bound to be several naked girls!".

"I... I... I'm your teacher! You can't do this to me!!".

Ignoring his desperate pleas, the brown haired teen tossed him into the shower cubicle, followed him in, and closed the door from the inside.

"HAKASE-SAAAAANNN!!!! PLEASE HELP MEEEE!!!" he bawled, right before the sounds of running water suffocated his voice.

Satomi looked around for her glasses, only to realize she had slept with them on. She yawned, got up, and went to use the toilet.

"NOOOOO!!! THE SHAMPOO GETS ON MY EYES...!!" he screamed. "IT BURNSSSS USSSS! IT BURNSSSS USSSSS!!!!".

"IT WOULDN'T GET INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU STOPPED MOVING SO MUCH!!" Chisame's voice howled.

Humming the Futurama theme, Satomi washed her hands off and waddled her not so graceful way to the kitchen.

"DON'T TOUCH ME DOWN THERE!!" he was begging now. "NO! NO! NOOOO!!".

"I DON'T LIKE IT ANY MORE THAN YOU DO!" Hasegawa assured him.




At the next apartment, Nodoka sweated profusely as she served Yue her breakfast. Her eyes were larger than ever behind her concealing bangs of hair.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say they have trusted them with Negi-sensei's care" Ayase commented, pouring herself a big glass of raspberry juice.

Nodoka just nodded uneasily.



Hakase finished eating her suspicious looking just made sandwiches, making sure to leave a few for her roommates before heading for the dresser. She was sure they'd like the chocolate and mustard combination as much as she did. For now, however, she had more important things to think about than Sensei's insistent bangings on the door, begging for a rescue.

Things like... SCIENCE!! The Cyberdine Labs exposition would come today at the Robotics Club, and she wouldn't miss it for anything! So enthusiast she was about it she forgot where she had put her tie last night as she quickly fixed her shirt, but even then, those were minor details. Just like her socks. Eh, she always lost one of each pair, but she was reasonably sure no one would notice if she wore mismatched ones today.

"I'll go on ahead!" Hakase announced as she hopped out of the dresser still tying her shoes, failing to notice her skirt was backwards. "Hurry up in there or you'll get tardy!".

"DON'T GRAB ME THERE!!" Chisame's voice had just shrieked.

"S-S-SORRY!! THE SHAMPOO HAS LEFT ME BLIND!!!".

With a contented smile for the possibilities of the newborn day, Hakase ran out towards the school.

[RubberLotus]

Chapter 2.

Act One:




It was, without a shadow of doubt, Hasegawa Chisame's fondest dream.

She sat at the head of Class 2-A, on a golden, richly decorated throne, wearing a gorgeous pink dress, like a fairy tale princess. Hakase and the brat were on their hands and knees before her, both of them serving as stools for each one of her feet. The rest of the class paid tribute knelt down across the classroom.

"I'm sorry for being such a stuck-up Shotacon!" Ayaka said.

"I'm sorry for being so stupid!" Makie said.

"I'm sorry for being so arrogant despite being nothing but a midget with awful grades!" Evangeline sobbed pitifully.

"I'm sorry for being so nosy!" Kazumi said.

"I'm sorry for being a robot!" Chachamaru said.

"I'm sorry for being so freakishly tall and old-looking!" the deeply tanned Tatsumiya Mana added.

"WE'RE ALL SORRY FOR BEING SO STRANGE!!" they all chorused, hailing her. "WE'LL BECOME A NORMAL CLASS FOR YOU, CHIU-SAMA!!".

The Queen of The Internet laughed and laughed. Relaxing back on her throne, she felt a soft warm breeze caressing her face lovingly.

Chisame stirred on her bed as Negi's soft breath blew into her face at short intervals, the boy making the shortest, cutest tiny snores you could ever imagine. His lips seemed to look for something, pouting up for a kiss.

"Sis..." he whispered longingly.

Chisame's eyes opened themselves very slowly. Which one of the peasant freaks had just dared to name her as her sister? She would teach her, she would...

She would quickly panic at seeing a pouting small mouth hovering scarce inches away from her own! Aiming for a full-on kiss on the lips!

Her scream of terror shook the whole room down to its foundations.



At the dorm room next door, Miyazaki Nodoka woke up with a start. Then she was afraid since everything was pitch black despite her eyes being open now. Then she remembered to brush the thick long bangs of dark hair from her face, and she sighed with relief as she found herself staring at the ceiling.

"I wonder what was that?" Yue's quiet voice came from the lower bunk.

"It... It sounded like Hasegawa-san..." Nodoka's beautiful, shy voice cracked nervously. "Maybe we should—".

She could hear Yue rolling on her side below her, huffing sleepily. "For Chisame? No thanks".

Nodoka sighed.



Back at the next room, Satomi yawned as she finally could wake up enough to see Chisame, red faced, standing next to the bed, with an ashamed Negi withstanding the weight of her verbal onslaught.

"What the hell were you trying to do?!" she screamed.

"I... I'm sorry..." he whimpered. "I'm used to sleep with my sister, and I sleepwalk sometimes...".

"What kind of sleepwalker goes up a bunk when he can stay below?!" she demanded to know. "Why didn't you sneak into Hakase's bed?!".

Numbly, Hakase's rational brain wondered if that statement should offend her in some form. Her reptilian brain, however, just told it to shut up and go back to sleep. The rational brain stomped its primitive counterpart down, all the while rationalizing Hasegawa's question did have some logical sense and it shouldn't be taken as any sort of offense. Hakase herself was just too tired to pay attention to either brain for once.

"You... You smelled more like my sister..." he was defending himself.

"Mmm?" Satomi casually sniffed the air. "Sensei, since you bring on the topic of smell, and hoping you don't perceive my words on this matter as any kind of personal insult regarding your personal presentation... Might I inquire if you are, as I suspect, the source of this sudden peculiar nefarious fragance?".

Chisame scowled, then sniffed at him, closely, making him to sweat bullets. "She's right! You stink like a corpse! Since when haven't you showered?!".

"Th-That's... that's quite a rude question to ask from anyone, Hasegawa-san!" the boy protested. "As your teacher, I must object on such manners!".

"Spoken by the perverted brat who sneaks into girls' beds!" Chisame retorted. "Answer my question, will you?".

He shrank down, unable to speak.

Hakase sighed, then sat upright on her bed's edge and motioned for him to get closer. "Come here. You can confess the truth to me. I will not, under any circumstances, lose my emotional control" she promised.

He trusted her enough to obey her, whispering something into her right ear.

"Ah. I see" she nodded calmly. "That's actually quite unhygienic. You could adquire several skin diseases, and even parasitary infections, that way. No, I don't quite believe the use of colognes will solve the problem. No, not even Old Spice. Chisame" she called over. "He claims suffering from an acute fear of baths. Do you think it could be labeled as hydrophobia?".

A vein bulged up on Chisame's forehead. "I understand...".

Silently, without exploding or lashing out again, she gently pushed Negi out of the bedroom, then closed the door behind him. The boy breathed easier, believing the worst had passed by. The poor fool.

One moment later, Chisame opened the door again, now clad in nothing but a navy blue school swimsuit. And carrying a large basket full with bath products and utensils in a hand.

"Oh, no!" he gasped aloud.

"Oh, yes!" she grabbed him and pulled him back inside. "Okay, take those pants off! The shirt, too! Didn't you want to sleep with your Big Sis, perverted brat? And kiss her? Well, consider yourself lucky! Your Big Sis is going to give you a bath!".

"Oh, no, no...!" he cried. "Mercy...!!!".

Satomi gave them a still sleepy look. "Our shower is far too small for someone who struggles around that much. Could I suggest taking him to the public bath instead?".

"And giving him that much open space to run away? I don't think so!" Chisame was applying her best attempt at a wrestling supplex on him while stripping him of his underwear. "And besides, only an idiot would take him to a place where there are bound to be several naked girls!".

"I... I... I'm your teacher! You can't do this to me!!".

Ignoring his desperate pleas, the brown haired teen tossed him into the shower cubicle, followed him aside, and closed the door from the inside.

"HAKASE-SAAAAANNN!!!! PLEASE HELP MEEEE!!!" he bawled, right before the sounds of running water suffocated his voice.

Satomi looked around for her glasses, only to realize she had slept with them on. She yawned, got up, and went to use the toilet.

"NOOOOO!!! THE SHAMPOO GETS ON MY EYES...!!" he screamed. "IT BURNSSSS USSSS! IT BURNSSSS USSSSS!!!!".

"IT WOULDN'T GET INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU STOPPED MOVING SO MUCH!!" Chisame's voice howled.

Humming the Futurama theme, Satomi washed her hands off and waddled her not so graceful way to the kitchen.

"DON'T TOUCH ME DOWN THERE!!" he was begging now. "NO! NO! NOOOO!!".

"I DON'T LIKE IT ANY MORE THAN YOU DO!" Hasegawa assured him.




At the next apartment, Nodoka sweated profusely as she served Yue her breakfast. Her eyes were larger than ever behind her concealing bangs of hair.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say they have trusted them with Negi-sensei's care" Ayase commented, pouring herself a big glass of raspberry juice.

Nodoka just nodded uneasily.



Hakase finished eating her suspicious looking just made sandwiches, making sure to leave a few for her roommates before heading for the dresser. She was sure they'd like the chocolate and mustard combination as much as she did. For now, however, she had more important things to think about than Sensei's insistent bangings on the door, begging for a rescue.

Things like... SCIENCE!! The Cyberdine Labs exposition would come today at the Robotics Club, and she wouldn't miss it for anything! So enthusiast she was about it she forgot where she had put her tie last night as she quickly fixed her shirt, but even then, those were minor details. Just like her socks. Eh, she always lost one of each pair, but she was reasonably sure no one would notice if she wore mismatched ones today.

"I'll go on ahead!" Hakase announced as she hopped out of the dresser still tying her shoes, failing to notice her skirt was backwards. "Hurry up in there or you'll get tardy!".

"DON'T GRAB ME THERE!!" Chisame's voice had just shrieked.

"S-S-SORRY!! THE SHAMPOO HAS LEFT ME BLIND!!!".

With a contented smile for the possibilities of the newborn day, Hakase ran out towards the school.

Why do I find the first part oddly arousing?

Also, if Akamatsu-sensei ever retires or goes on a permanent "research break", I have complete and utter faith in you to fly to Japan and pick up where he left off.

[OverMaster]

Ayaka had chewed Satomi down when she put foot on the classroom, scolding her for her unforgivable transgressions to the dress code. The genius had nodded and muttered the token absent excuses while adjusting Chachamaru's left elbow, which needed maintenance that morning for some reason Evangeline had refused to explain.

Then Iincho had also chewed Chisame out when she finally arrived with Negi in tow, blaming her for not taking care of Hakase's appearance. Hasegawa's protests about herself not being the babysitter for anyone of her own age fell into deaf ears until the teacher had asked for silence for the class to start. Now that had silenced the classy blonde in the spot. For which, truth be told, Chisame had felt mildly grateful.

The day's lesson had gone rather well compared to that of the day before, at least until poor Asuna had been called to read some lines of a short English text. After struggling to only blurt out a savage butchering of the original paragraph, Iincho had mocked her lack of talents in a not-subtle-enough way to quickly offend the redhead, and then the fight was on again, despite Negi's loudest protests for them to stop.

Chisame shook her head at the random lunacy surrounding her. Would every day be like that from there on? Maybe she should ask for a transfer... that Tomobiki place Kazumi had rumored about wasn't sounding that bad now...

Mercifully, the ending bell had sounded then, saving Sensei from being knocked out between both students. Negi had quickly blurted a few homework items for the next session, struggling to be heard over the happy chattering of the students leaving and the still heated retorts between Asuna and her hated rival; only his roommates, Chao, and the four girls he had listed on his class roster as the Library Exploration Club seemed to be taking notes at that point.

Out of those four, the one named Konoka, the Dean's grandaughter herself, had finally managed to placate Asuna enough to carry her out and away. That had left Ayaka behind, snapping back to reality and noticing she had just given quite another bad show in front of her admired Sensei. She melted into apologizes to him, and Chisame almost would have allowed it to go and go just for the novelty of seeing Iincho groveling to anyone, which somehow gave her a strange sense of satisfaction. But alas, she had to leave; Chiu's time was almost there, and tempting as it was to leave the brat behind, Hakase was already leaving for her stupid Club, and babysitting duty fell heavily upon her.

"Come on, Sensei. I'm leaving".

"Y-Yes! It's all okay, Iincho-san. See you tomorrow!" he happily waved to the blonde as he ran after the pock-marked girl. Ayaka simply stood there, blinking in sudden disbelief. What had she just saw? Why did that geeky simpleton seem to have such a sweet and gentle prince under her thumb like that?

As if guessing her unspoken question, Yue spoke in a casual monotone. "I think Negi-sensei is staying with them".

"What?!" the heiress turned her blue, fearful eyes eyes to her. "That can't be true!".

"We heard his voice coming out of their room this morning" Yue explained, as evenly as a human being can act. Behind her, Nodoka blushed again and nodded.

Ayaka made a scowl of disgust. "That is insane! What kind of future can wait for Negi-sensei, left with those two antisocial outcasts? They will stun his emotional growth! It'll be a tragedy if such a brilliant mind is damaged in his formative stages!".

From further behind Nodoka and Yue, a low, throaty and sinister chuckle made both of them to waver in sudden fear. A tall, looming figure stood up, nearly towering over them, fixing the evil glare of her shiny eyes behind even shinier glasses on Ayaka. A sly perverse grin curved itself upon the busty bespectacled girl's lips.

"Hoo hoo hoo!" she cackled flamboyantly. "We are very jealous, aren't we, Iincho?".

Ayaka huffed with just the slightest blush. "Don't mistake my intentions with your twisted appetites, Saotome-san! My interest on Negi-sensei's wellbeing is purely selfless!".

"Really?" Saotome Haruna pushed her glasses up her nose. "Well, that's a relief to know. Less competition, I guess...".

"Haruna" Yue warned in a low voice.

"Because let's face it, Chisame-chan and the Professor aren't a competition for all this" Haruna proudly patted herself on the broad hips, giggling as she ondulated them, making poor Nodoka to blush once more.

"Haruna!" Yue's voice went up a bit. "That's gross even for you!".

After a brief moment of hesitation, Nodoka nodded her agreement.

"Bwa-ha-ha-ha!" Haruna laughed. "You girls are just too easy to tease!".

Ayaka growled a very unladylike, although thankfully incoherent, reply, grabbed her backpack and stomped her way out.

"You are too much" Yue told her tall friend.

Haruna shrugged. "Iincho needs to grow up. She may act mature, but at the end she's just as bad as Asuna, in her own way".

"And you are worse than them both" Yue replied.

"If you say so" Haruna smiled placidly, lowering her face to look straight at hers. "Now, what's that I hear about Sensei living next to you? What did you hear? Something juicy?".

Yue's poker face remained. "Nothing important".

"Really?" Haruna noted. "Because Nodoka's face just went even redder".

For a second, Yue inwardly cursed her best friend's inability to keep her emotions down. Honestly, it was as if you could read her thoughts like a book.

[OverMaster]

The keys turned around inside of the doorlock, and the door was pushed open, Chisame walking in quietly with Negi following closely behind.

"I'll be spending some time alone at my room" she announced, heading straight for the bedroom without looking back. "In the meanwhile, you can watch TV, or do whatever you want as long as you don't peek or walk in on me for the next two hours. Otherwise, you'll regret it" she said, very seriously.

"Oh?" he blinked while taking his coat off, hanging it up next to that strange and long wooden staff he carried around for some reason Chisame prefered not to think about. Then he stiffened up, struck by concern. "Hasegawa-san! Don't tell me you... you... you hide in there to smoke!".

She stopped abruptly, then gave him a killer back glare. "Do you think I'm some kind of delinquent?!".

"... To drink, then? That'd be even worse" he warned.

"I'M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC, EITHER!".

"Then why is that?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Th-That's a private thing all of us girls need! Private time! Yes, that's it!" she rushed the words out.

Negi stared at her with wide, surprised eyes. His sister often needed 'private time', too, but never lasting as much as two hours. Perhaps Japanese girls were different in that regard; he'd have to ask Takamichi as politely as he could about it, to avoid further blunders in the future.

"Got it, then? Two hours!" the girl repeated. "See you then!". Without waiting for his confirmation, she closed the door behind herself.

Negi cringed, now alone at the living room, wishing at least Hakase could be in there with him. But she had a club meeting, didn't she? She wouldn't be back before Hasegawa-san finished.

The boy pulled his class roster booklet out. He took a look at Chisame's profile. Under her unsmiling, almost frowning face, it was written, "Student Number 25-Hasegawa Chisame. No Club Activities. Good with Computers".

Computers, huh? Negi didn't know anything about computers, other than the basics. But he still could say the two of those he had seen at the girls' bedroom were very expensive and most likely very powerful as well.

It sounded like Hasegawa-san was pulling something out of her closet in there. He heard the sounds of large objects being dragged around, as well as the rustling of clothes. Odd, what did that have to do with using a computer? Curious like any boy of his age, he approached the door with as much stealth as he could and put an ear on it; she never had said anything about not listening.

Then, just as soon, he pulled his head back, doubting. Wasn't that just as bad? A gentleman shouldn't do that; what would his sister think? And even so, didn't a teacher need to know everything about his students, to help them with their problems? What if Hasegawa-san was doing something bad in there? What if...

He shook his head. No, he shouldn't distrust her! She was his student, his roommate, and even his new tutor figure, in a way! She deserved his trust!

Walking away from the door, he moaned, sitting before the TV, turning it on only to get quickly bored. He didn't have much of an use for TV either. He barely ever watched it at all at the village. He always would prefer to practice, or to play around outside, with Anya...

Anya...

He looked out through the window, and he almost could see Anya running across the wide Mahora campus, laughing happily to herself. He missed her already, her confident laughter, her energetic attitude. Anya, always so full of life.

He took another quick glare towards the door to the bedroom. Anya and Hasegawa-san were similar in temper and their no-nonsense mindsets, but where Anya was quick to voice her mind, Hasegawa-san seemed so distant, always hiding something. Why didn't she belong to any clubs? Judging from what he had seen of her at school, she didn't have any friends but maybe Hakase-san. He shuddered at the idea of such a lonely life.

Yet, what could he do about it? He had to do something, but what?

He remembered Takamichi. He had been her homeroom teacher last year, so he would know her well enough. Maybe his advice would be just the thing he needed!

Brightening up, the boy took his coat and staff back and walked outside, closing the dorm's room before lively stepping towards... huh... well, he'd go back to Shizuna-sensei's office first. She'd point him to Takamichi's office, no doubt.

Almost all students were at their clubs at that hour. The main building was eerily quiet and silent as he approached it. No one in sight, but that pale girl hiding behind a column, looking at him with docile, yet bright reddish eyes. How strange, was she white haired?

He felt an icy shiver running up his spine. That girl...

He looked again into the girl's direction, only to find she was gone all of a sudden.

With a hunch, a premonition of something being wrong, he searched the area, until he caught another glimpse of the girl in the distance. Her body looked like a mirage, half translucid, even as she ran away from him, leading him towards a nearby small forest area.

"Wait!" without thinking it much, he ran after her, giving chase. "Who are you?".

Then he grinded his feet into a sudden halt. He looked up, gasping loudly. The girl was nowhere in sight, but instead, he had just found a tall, thin and pale man in a traditional hakama ensemble hanging by the neck from the branch of a large cherry tree. His wild black hair fell all over his face, barely allowing to see he wore glasses. He wore a wooden sandal in a foot; the other sandal laid under his inanimate body.

The soft breeze blew pink petals all around them.

A young teacher full of hope for the future...

A young teacher full of despair over the past....

A meeting that never should have happened....

[OverMaster]

Negi remained frozen on his tracks for a moment, fully unsure of what to do upon finding a hanging body on Academy grounds. After that initial shock, he pulled a small rulebook out and began flipping through its pages. Running away to find Takamichi seemed a good option to take, but he wanted to be fully sure first.

Then the corpse opened his haunted eyes and asked him in a conversational, yet deeply disturbing (by the mere fact of the words coming from a hanged man's mouth) tone, "So. I assume you are Negi Springfield?".

"GAH!" Acting by instinct, the boy jumped back, aimed a hand up at the freakish stranger, and shouted, "Rastel Maskir Magister! Unus Fulgor Concidens Noctem, in Mea Manu Ens Inimicum Edat! Fulguratio Albicans!"

"No, wait! I'm not a—" the tall thin man asked seconds before being blasted up by several bolts of lightning that shook him like a ragdoll, snapping his rope and making him to fall facefirst into the dirt like a dead weight.

Negi breathed in and out, nearly panting, carefully looking down at the fallen, motionless and slightly smoking body. Until it seemed to regain life, jumping to its feet and yelling angrily while rubbing its throat with a bony hand.

"WHAT IF I HAD DIED?!?".

"GYAAHHH!" Negi backed away. "A zombie!!".

"Zombie?" the man dusted himself off. "That's a new one. Out of all the insults I have ever received, I had never been identified as a Haitian undead before. Rest assured, however, I have not died yet, much to my regret. May I inquire why are you at my secret place of courtship with death?".

"Wh-Who are you?!" the child blabbered instead of answering at all.

"Hmph" the man shook his head while putting his discarded sandal back on. "Cowardly. Lacking selfcontrol. And on top of it all, rude enough to not answer to an adult's query. No, you possibly couldn't be the boy Takamichi told me about".

Negi stopped being freaked out so much for a moment. "Do you know Takahata Takamichi?".

"I should, since we are colleagues" the man with the hakama nodded sparsely. "I am Itoshiki Nozomu, homeroom teacher of Mahora Academy's Class 2-F, sadly for me! I am also the most unfortunate man on Earth! Even more so now you have foiled my latest attempt when I almost was seeing the Pearly Gates!".

"Are you... another teacher at Mahora?" Negi blinked, disbelieving. Then he quickly bowed to him. "Pleased to meet you, Itoshiki-sensei! I'm Negi Springfield, the new homeroom teacher for Class 2-A! Sorry about attacking you, but you scared me! I thought you were going to die!".

"I was going to die! That's exactly the point!" Itoshiki sighed with a long suffering expression, then passed a hand through his own hair. "I was sure I'd get it right this time!".

Negi stared blankly at him, until another ill feeling ran through him. He had just noticed something almost as strange as Itoshiki-sensei's behavior. It was a huge and black magical aura all around him, surrounding his whole body in a way only a mage could feel and understand. It was a terrifying, overwhelming grim power swirling around the man almost hungrily, poking at his body and mind without ever stopping.

"You are... a dark mage!" the young boy gasped aloud.

"Not so loud!!" Itoshiki opened his eyes as much as he could, covering Negi's mouth with a hand. "What if someone would happen to hear you?! The last thing my miserable life needs is my transformation into an ermine!".

Negi nodded, and he lowered his voice as the man let his mouth go. "But... But... what is a dark mage doing teaching at Mahora? Konoemon-sensei would never—".

Itoshiki looked at him in a distraught way. "Please don't say it! You're going to say I'm a horrible person, a devil worshipper and an ill example to my pupils just because I'm a dark magic user, aren't you? That's so typical of today's youth! Judging the book by its cover! Taking things for granted just because of what they just watched on TV, or in the latest Harry Potter movie! But if you were as smart as Takamichi said, you would know Dark Is Not Evil! At least not always! Although I admit I'm a completely failure at life, but because of reasons completely unrelated to that!".

He finished his rant by looking at one side, then at the other, and then yelling as loud as he could, raising his hands in a melodramatic manner.

"I'M IN DESPAIR!! PEOPLE WHO JUDGES OTHERS BASED ON PRIOR ILL-CONCEIVED CONCEPTS HAVE LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!!".

"............. I'm sorry if I have misjudged you" Negi said meekly.

"No. It's okay" the man waved a hand, more calmed all of a sudden, sinking his head down. "I'm a horrible person anyway. That's why I wanted to finish my life here".

"B-But why?!" Negi exclaimed. "You never should forfeit your life, no matter what! That's what my sister always told me! As long as there's life, there's hope!".

His older colleague gave him a tired look. "You are too young to understand. Once you grow older and the realities of life sink in, you will see how right I am".

He started to walk towards the Academy, gesturing for Negi to follow him. "I was born from one of Japan's richest and most prestigious families. Secretly, my family is also one of experts at magic. My brother Mikoto specializes in healing magic, for instance. Even so, he and our two older brothers were seen as unfit for the title of heirs to the Itoshiki prestigy by the time I was born. My birth was a problematic one. I was marked by misfortune even back then! I was born, technically, dead. But my father would not accept that. No, he would have his proper heir no matter what!".

"So, what did he do?" Negi asked sheepishly.

"With no time to ponder other courses of action, he broke one of magic's oldest taboos! He used a forbidden spell on me... the Curse of the Unending Despair! It blew life back into me, but at a terrible cost. I would live, forever escaping the icy touch of death until old age claimed me... but never allowing me to be happy! That was the curse's price! I cannot die no matter what, but it will not allow me to ever reach happiness!".

The child made a terrified sound. "That's horrible! What kind of father would do that to a son?".

"The despairing kind, of course" Itoshiki stated. "Father just couldn't watch me to die. To this day, I still don't know how much of that was pure love and how much was selfish desire to continue his lineage, but I also proved being unfitting his expectations anyway. That's why my younger sister is the current heiress to the family's glory".

"Isn't there any way to break that curse?" Negi asked.

Itoshiki seemed about to say something, but finally reconsidered it and shook his head. "Not any feasible one".

"How awful... Wait a moment. If you know you couldn't die no matter what, why were you hanging yourself?" the younger one asked.

Itoshiki-sensei almost laughed, somewhat embarassed. "Well... I suppose even I can be an optimist to some degree. Hope is truly the last thing to perish...".

Negi was stunned out of his mind. "You put all of your hopes on killing yourself?".

"Yes" he replied simply.

"But that's just... wrong".

"For you, maybe". He quickly changed the subject. "Didn't Takamichi ever tell you about me?".

"... I can't say he ever did, no" Negi had to admit it.

Itoshiki didn't seem offended. "I don't blame him. I would do the same thing if our roles were reversed. But he has told me a lot about you. He has you in quite the high esteem".

Negi fidgeted around. "Heh heh, really...? He shouldn't have. I'm nothing but a novice...".

For a moment, Itoshiki's gaze softened up as he looked down at the small child. Didn't he even suspect his true legacy? No, he possibly couldn't. Well, he wouldn't be the one to tell him, then. He already had enough problem with his insane class as it was.

They stopped before the Academy's main building. The adult put a hand on one of the boy's shoulders, and after realizing there still was not anyone in listening range, he told him, "Negi-sensei. Listen. There are some things you must know about this Campus. First, not all our colleagues are versed into the secrets of magic".

"I know. Takamichi and the Headmaster warned me about it".

"Good. As you know, Takamichi and Shizuna-sensei are no mages, but they know all there is to know about magic. So do Sugiura-sensei, Akashi-sensei and Arai-sensei, the psychological councelor. Arai-sensei, however, is quite a terrifying woman if you ever invoke her anger. So do not ever cross her. On the other hand, Nitta-sensei, Kuroi-sensei, Jinroku-sensei, Kurosawa-sensei and Yukari-sensei know nothing on the matter, and they should be kept in the dark at any and all costs".

"Roger!" the boy nodded, doing his best to memorize the names.

"Another thing to know if you are teaching 2-A is... beware Evangeline Mc Dowell" he warned in a fearful whisper.

Negi blinked.

"Sooner or later, she will go after you" Itoshiki kept his voice as low as he could. "Never tell her I told you this; I shouldn't even be doing it. But she will do it. And she is the most fearsome person to inhabit these grounds. Watch your back, Negi Springfield. Although I doubt it would do you any good".

He turned around and began to walk away, quickly.

"Wait!" Negi called out. "Why would she do that?! And why should I fear her?!".

Itoshiki Nozomu said nothing else, until he disappeared into the distance. No doubt gone looking for more rope.

Negi stood alone, feeling even more confused than he had been before.

[OverMaster]

"THIS ISN'T RIGHT!" she shouted, slamming both hands on her personal desk, right before both computers. "NORMAL SCHOOLS AREN'T LIKE THIS!".

Of course, it was something most often left unsaid at all. But the last two days had been so frustrating she had to let it out now she was alone at last. Chisame now huffed and puffed at her heart's content, uncorking the bottle of her pented up rage.

She paced around the bedroom at a fast pace, ranting to herself, putting her glasses aside. "All I've ever asked for is a quiet place to belong to! A stable place with sane people, not an asylum! When half your class looks like they should be at elementary school, and the other half acts like it instead, then you know the teachers should do something to solve it, not to worsen it!".

At that point, she really didn't care if he listened or not. The teenager was too angry to think about the likely implications of him ratting her out to the Dean, assuming he had the guts for it.

She needed to tell someone, anyone, about it all. Luckily, she always had such a public at hand.

"I'll tell everyone about him" her private closet's doors flew open as she frantically rumamged inside, pulling the makeup kit out, then starting to expertly apply the lipstick on her mouth, barely needing to look at the mirror to do it. She hardly could see anything but the prospects of dragging his name through the mud anyway. "Does he think everyone loves him? We'll see about that" she promised while finishing the lips, and beginning to pass the eyeliner with precise strokes.

It wasn't fair such a stupid runt could just endear himself to everyone just by walking into a room while she had to work so hard for it. Not like she cared about the classroom's admiration or love (Far from it! No matter what those random dreams said!), but she simply knew it was unfair, and that was all. What was so cute about him? Nothing but a little stinky nerd, that was what he was. If the bimbos had bothered to take a good sniff at him yesterday, and if she hadn't made them the favor of cleaning him up for them in the morning, perhaps they would be singing a different tune.

"I'll show that squirt what's true love all about" she mumbled while buttoning her fanciest summer dress up, then carefully putting a matching hat on the top of her head. She smiled at her mirror image, thinking there was nothing prettier than it. The small ugly geeky caterpillar was gone. In her place, the gorgeous butterfly known as Chiu had spreaded her wings again.

"Another day of Chiu being lovely" she told herself, growing satisfied.

Gleefully excited, she sat down before the larger computer, turning it on. There was no better sound than that of the Windows theme.

And then her webpage, the paradisiac gate to her personal Heaven, welcomed her back. The Queen quickly strolled through its entrance halls to greet her loyal subjects at the Message Board. As usual, the warm welcomes and words of admiration, and of hopes for the upcoming update, had made her to feel all warm and loved inside. Now those guys, they understood. She didn't even know their true faces (doubting even those who sent or published their photos. Most of them looked too handsome to be real), but she wasn't going to question them over that, and she still felt she knew them better than everyone physically around herself.

She kindly returned the loving words, then stopped upon realizing she had not thought how to actually voice her complains. Saying her teacher had moved in with her would raise an unwanted ruckus; some of the more militant fans would rage and claim betrayal. At the same time, admitting he was a kid would make her to look ridiculous.

I'm saddened over our new teacher for this term, she had started. He's a very annoying person! Today, he was looking at Chiu in a very perverted way!.

Shampoo in his eyes, right.

That's horrible! What's the problem with him! the first outraged commentary had come mere moments afterwards.

I know his kind. I've had several teachers who are like that.

I'd like to beat that creep up!.

Ooohhh, she knew there was a reason why she liked user Passerby B despite how many flamewars he caused.

The fans had continued raging for several minutes after that, until user Iceworld, always so politically correct, had written,

But I totally get why he did it. It's because you're so pretty!.

Absolutely! No one can resist Chiu-sama's charms. No one!.

Exactly. That's why she is the most prettiest of all internet idols.

Chiu bit her lower lip, her cheeks actually glowing bright red. "Oh, come on...!" she giggled, delighted. "You don't mean it...!".

Oh yes they did. That was the most wonderful part!

Again, her fingers gracefully danced over the keyboard, throwing the reward to the hungry, devoted masses.

Thank you so very much! As a showing of Chiu's gratitude, Chiu will now add three new galleries for you sweeties!.

She set the camera up before changing into her new nurse outfit, looking at the mirror for a moment, pleased with the vision of such an angel of medical mercy. The rite of self photography started again, flash after flash going on inside the room, each one taking a different angle, a different perfect smile. The key was always smiling. And Photoshop.

The French maid outfit had come next; it had costed her a fortune, actually, but it had been worth every cent. The fans had asked for it for too long; it would drive them crazy. Still, now she had an idea why only people like Iincho could allow themselves to buy that for their slaves. Dad had popped a vein over the phone at seeing the month's expenses; she had just lied something about an accident and paying for a broken Chinese jar.

And finally, for the coup de grace, the Playboy bunny outfit. Complete with bust enhancing filling; post-photo retouches would do the rest. Damn, but she was sexy, she thought while admiring the pictures. But sadly, not nearly sexy enough...

Not as much as Iincho or Chizuru, or even Asakura or Haruna...

For a moment, her spirits sunk down at the sight of the reality iceberg before refloating thanks to the wonders of modern science.

Once the photos were filed, making a few improvements over them was a child's play. She was so good at it even veterans of everything from nude filters to conspiracy alterations were fooled like babies. The zits and pimples vanished from her face just as quickly as they appeared in real life. The breasts and the hips grew up, but not enough to look out of place on her frame. Even the teeth were made even whiter. The butterfly had grown beyond the earthly limits to become an ethereal fairy.

Chisame was happy.

She also was blissfully unaware of how long she had spent doing that by now.

Negi was tired. As he walked back to the dorm, after a long while of fruitlessly looking for Shizuna, Takamichi and the ghostly girl, he had decided to return home (it still was very strange calling it like that) upon noticing it was getting darker and colder outside. The sky was growing busier with storm clouds.

He glanced at his wristwatch. Had it been three hours now? Surely Hasegawa-san already was finished with her private time.

He walked in to see Hakase back from her Club, hunchbacked over the dinner table drawing something on a large spread sheet, barely noticing his presence. The whole table was full with tools, drawing utensils and several pieces of machinery.

"Good evening, Hakase-san" he said. "How was your meeting today?".

"Hm. Very fruitful. Lots of new interesting theories" she repled, absently, never taking her eyes apart from her work.

"I see... That's good to hear. Umm, not to sound rude, but, about dinner..." he couldn't help but rubbing his growling stomach with a hand.

"Ask Chisame. Busy here. Not hungry yet" the scientist droned like an answering machine, automatically gesturing with a shoulder towards the bedroom.

"Okay..." he nodded, walking towards the door and knocking on it. There was no reply.

"Maybe she fell asleep again" Satomi noted. "Often does that after a very long session".

The boy blinked. "A session of what?" he asked, looking back at his student without noticing he had applied more pressure and more of his weight to the door's frame than he had intended. The door opened itself towards the inside, and, taken by surprise, he tumbled into the room.

Chiu smirked seeing her ratings going up. Her closest competitor, Kotokon's homepage, couldn't even compare! Now let's see if the brat could ever compare to that. How could having around twenty airheads (giving the benefit of doubt to some classmates) pining after your underage body ever compare to THIS? Hah! Her underage body knew of no contest, no rivals!

Now, she almost wished he could see it himself.

She tensed, hearing something stumbling into her room.

"HAKASE!" she turned her head around. "What have you broken— This—".

Her eyes went round and large as plates as she found herself staring into some just as huge, perplexed dark brown eyes.

She was wearing a Playboy bunny suit, updating a page with suggestive photos of herself, in front of her ten years old teacher. Her mouth became quickly as dry as the Sahara.

How did she hate reality's cruel pranks.