Have You Ever Suffered From Depression?

[Justin K.]

I moved a lot as a kid, a new school every year. I was basically an outsider at all of them. Some schools were worse than others, though my last one was the least worse, thank god... but still, it can be hard on a person when you make friends only to lose them, that you can't keep them. You want to keep in contact, but you lose it eventually for various, yet unknown reasons.

[Gumbo Maximillian]

I have issues with depression but the worst time was back in high school; unlike others it was due to highschool being a bad experience, hardly perfect but okay far as things went. Don't know if it was hormones or what.

Like mentioned earlier; getting a more regular sleep helps, excercising and trying to think positive or just occupy yourself can help as well.

Ironically enough I'm feeling better than I have in a while and it was due to being motivated by health issues to actually get control of my life.

[Gryphon]

lately due to tension in my home caused by a number of reasons, ive been having moments of being overwhelmed by....strong depressing emotions. i lay awake at night as all my anxieties and worries come and at times when i try and talk i find i no longer have the words or maybe no longer see any point in the words.

[Gryphon]

i just had a massive fight with other members of my family and there is a lot of bad tension around my house now and i feel like crap, like for some reason my life has become a twisted joke being played on me, with no reason to anything.
and it all seems like its only gonna get worse, like i can only keep falling

[schwamp]

Man, I stopped aborting rats like five years ago. But truth be told I aborted a lot of rats. One time I had this pregnant rat and I was going to kill it and abort it's babies and chop their heads off, like I usually did. But my boss, a Hindu guy, says he's cancelling this week's experiment. He told me to just kill the mother rat and freeze her for later disposal. I said, "No! I'm taking the rat home with me. My wife will find homes for her and her babies." My boss freaked out and said, "You can't do that! This is a military establishment, if you steal experimental animals and take them home and get caught we could get fired, even go to jail!"

I told him I would kill the rat.

But I didn't. I took it home with me and he never found out.

When I got the rat home it had it's babies. It had 15 babies. Mother rat ate the heads off of most of them and starved the rest to death because Mother rat had a prolapsed uterus or something. Her uterus was hanging out and it made her be a bad mother.

We took her to the vet who charged us 250 dollars to put her uterus back inside her. No good deed goes unpunished. It's probably a good thing the babies died because we couldn't even find a home for the mother rat much less 15 babies.

We kept her, and she died 5 years later of cancer, I think. Her life was kind of boring and sometimes I wondered if she wouldn't have been better off if I had killed her 5 years earlier.

My boss the hindu got fired and I had to go back to killing pigs in a horrible fashion. Things deteriorated and I got a new job where I just play with a computer all day helping select who gets money to research the diseases of aging. I have a full life.

Fuck!...Now I'm depressed. You have a gift for storytelling, my friend.

[coquix]

I completely understand. I went thru a really bad dark period for several years. I didn't realize how bad it was until one day i saw this movie and felt such a connection I cried for an hour. Then I was actually having thoughts that if i died no one would miss me and nobody really loved me. I heard a song and I just broke down cuz it felt like the song was sending me a message. After that I saw a shrink for a good 4 years on and off. It helped me a lot. I guess my problems had to deal with abandonment issues from my biological father, self esteem, and officially coming out to my family. I'm sorry to hear bout your problems gryhpon. I can understand those feelings. You should try talking to someone, if not doing it here seems like a good start. Nobody ever reached out to me when i was falling, so the only one who helped me was me. If you want some help just ask. on here or pm. whatever is cool. Hope all is well

[robbieglenn]

last year it was a year long constant battle to function. i was on anti depressants for abit but them turned me into a zombie. I seriously had no emotions towards anything. I could be told my house was on fire and id probably say "oh....okay then."

When I realized this wasnt helping, and mixing them with booze didnt help, I went to councelling. After a few sessions and a total emotional outpouring, I turned a corner. Im in a stable relationship, a cool job and its better. However, its never fully gone, never will be. I just learnt to cope with it, understand its okay to feel upset and stop pushing it deep down.

Heh, feels nice to get it out

[Pro]

I'm not counting the teenage depressions and suicidal thoughts, I kinda consider those part of growing up.

The real depression i had was about 5 years ago. Unrequited love, career not going anywhere, blahblah. I have been having muscle and joint pains for the past 10 to 15 years that sometimes get so bad I have to stop working.
It lasted about 2 years i think. I had suicidal thoughts, didn't do anything, got even more quiet than usual almost to the point where even i felt like i wasn't really there.
The world was passing by and i was just staring at it.

It got to a climax one evening, i wanted to die, i just wanted everything to stop.
At some point i was lying on my bed staring at a corner of my room and i started concentrating all my vile hatefull, sorrowfull sad and depressing thoughts into that corner. In my memory it took the form almost of a separate entity staring back down at me, waiting to devour me, black, oozing with everything i fed it with, waiting for me to give up. And I got so fucking angry at it and told it that no matter how hard it tried it would not get me. It faded.

That night i woke up nauseous. I ran to the bathroom and started throwing up. I couldn't stop even after my stomach was entirely empy and i started choking, gasping for air and eventually crawling across the floor to the front door to warn neighbours to call an ambulance. The only thought that was racing through my mind was:"I don't want to die, not here, not now, I don't want to die!".

Somewhere between the bathroom and the front door i finally got my breathing under control very slowly. That was really the moment i got over my depression and started picking up my life again. It hasn't been easy, life rarely is, but I'm not sure I'll ever get as depressed as i was that period in my life. I know for sure that no matter how bad the situation gets I don't want to die. I want to see my life through to the end, regardless of what happens. I can always die some other day, but living I can only do once.

Doesn't mean I don't want to give up sometimes on what I'm doing nor that I don't have periods when i don't feel like pushing on but no suicidal thoughts anymore.

[Slugger]

I'm not counting the teenage depressions and suicidal thoughts, I kinda consider those part of growing up.

The real depression i had was about 5 years ago. Unrequited love, career not going anywhere, blahblah. I have been having muscle and joint pains for the past 10 to 15 years that sometimes get so bad I have to stop working.
It lasted about 2 years i think. I had suicidal thoughts, didn't do anything, got even more quiet than usual almost to the point where even i felt like i wasn't really there.
The world was passing by and i was just staring at it.

It got to a climax one evening, i wanted to die, i just wanted everything to stop.
At some point i was lying on my bed staring at a corner of my room and i started concentrating all my vile hatefull, sorrowfull sad and depressing thoughts into that corner. In my memory it took the form almost of a separate entity staring back down at me, waiting to devour me, black, oozing with everything i fed it with, waiting for me to give up. And I got so fucking angry at it and told it that no matter how hard it tried it would not get me. It faded.

That night i woke up nauseous. I ran to the bathroom and started throwing up. I couldn't stop even after my stomach was entirely empy and i started choking, gasping for air and eventually crawling across the floor to the front door to warn neighbours to call an ambulance. The only thought that was racing through my mind was:"I don't want to die, not here, not now, I don't want to die!".

Somewhere between the bathroom and the front door i finally got my breathing under control very slowly. That was really the moment i got over my depression and started picking up my life again. It hasn't been easy, life rarely is, but I'm not sure I'll ever get as depressed as i was that period in my life. I know for sure that no matter how bad the situation gets I don't want to die. I want to see my life through to the end, regardless of what happens. I can always die some other day, but living I can only do once.

Doesn't mean I don't want to give up sometimes on what I'm doing nor that I don't have periods when i don't feel like pushing on but no suicidal thoughts anymore.

Wow, this was gripping. I'm glad you defeated that demon.

[coquix]

yeah, i'm glad you beat it. I agree it doesn't ever really go away but it definitely gets better with time and positive thinking.

[Nightstar1441]

I'm actually been diagonosed with MD due to a chemical imbalance in the brain which has also effected my sleeping patterns.

I've dealt with it for years and have been placed on several medications though due to some bad experiences (chemical dependancy, weight gain, lack of focus and clear thought) I've decided to try and deal with it on my own. Holidays are usually a dangerous time for me.

I've actually been able to use my comic collecting to offset the depression. Whenever I feel I'm going into it - I'll read an entire comic book series or buy a new mini series I've had my eye on.

It's weird but it seems to make me feel a bit better and give me the little push I need to pull myself out of it.

So in a weird way - I'm using my obsessive compulsive disorder to negate the effects of my depression.

Go figure?

[Marvel420]

Yeah I have from time to time ever since my parents got divorced when I was a kid.
I found the best way to cure it is to get down to the real problems in your life. For some people anti-depresents and therapy work for me medical marijuana really did the trick.

I suggest anyone wanting to take control of their lives looks into Hypnotica's lecture series.

[Ronald Bryan]

I'm depressed due to the fact that no posting Jason is more popular than me.

[Aziz Abbasi]

Has anyone here suffered from depression? If you have, and if you dont mind, can you talk about it if it isnt too personal?

Is there anyone in this large world who didn't?
So far the only ones I can think of who really didn't are children five years or younger

I suffered from depression, I'm afraid of heights when it comes to climbing a two meter high gate, I feel like I can't jump the distance down

[Aziz Abbasi]

I'm depressed due to the fact that no posting Jason is more popular than me.

Isn't it usually said 'Joe'?
I don't know you, I don't recall knowing you. Is that good?