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  1. #3301
    Lead Farmer Blue_Collar_Nerd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sundowhn View Post
    Hmmm, as far as being this Darkholme in the picture, there is no tattoo. Maybe an alternate Kurt or, since it is probably 616 universe, the Christine that Kurt Wagner knew? I guess it could also be Amanda, but I don't see her getting slammed by the Blob without throwing a hex on his ass....the last I checked she was still dabbling as Magick II.
    From the looks of the room and the absence of the tattoo in the portrait, I would guess that this is an event that occurred before everything went to shit in the AOA. Possibly something that Darkolme want's revenge for.

    Was Amanda going as Magik in the AOA universe?

    The only real reason I think It might be a kid is that the hair reminds me of Kurt's when it's drawn long.

  2. #3302
    BAMF Brigade Sundowhn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue_Collar_Nerd View Post
    From the looks of the room and the absence of the tattoo in the portrait, I would guess that this is an event that occurred before everything went to shit in the AOA. Possibly something that Darkolme want's revenge for.
    That could be it as well, though it would have to be pretty early on, as he's been depicted with the tattoo in every appearance and at least the Marvel AoA Handbook states that he didn't leave home and join the X-Men until the coming of Apocalypse prompted villagers to kidnap him, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by Blue_Collar_Nerd View Post
    Was Amanda going as Magik in the AOA universe?
    Yeah, she was custodian of Limbo from late Excalibur all the way through the Nightcrawler solo series run. There hasn't been a lot done with her since then that I know of.

    Quote Originally Posted by Blue_Collar_Nerd View Post
    The only real reason I think It might be a kid is that the hair reminds me of Kurt's when it's drawn long.
    Could be.

  3. #3303
    Forever Drood Drelion's Avatar
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    Well the on going theme since Nov is to feed Darkholme all the Ghosts of Kurts past so I donno...I think were looking at a 616 girl who may have a doppleganger in AoA that Darkholme recognizes?
    Always had a thing for blue.

  4. #3304
    BAMF Brigade Sundowhn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Drelion View Post
    Well the on going theme since Nov is to feed Darkholme all the Ghosts of Kurts past so I donno...I think were looking at a 616 girl who may have a doppleganger in AoA that Darkholme recognizes?
    Could be, or maybe he's just pissed because she is getting clobbered by someone he already hates and is after for revenge.

    Next two chapters are up by the way: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7953459/3/Kaliedoscope
    and
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7953459/4/Kaliedoscope

  5. #3305
    BAMF Brigade Sundowhn's Avatar
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    Can someone help me think of a good name for a little girl (related to the story)?

  6. #3306
    Lead Farmer Blue_Collar_Nerd's Avatar
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    I have a young niece named Hayden. I figure it's as good as any.

  7. #3307
    Forever Drood Drelion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sundowhn View Post
    Could be, or maybe he's just pissed because she is getting clobbered by someone he already hates and is after for revenge.

    Next two chapters are up by the way: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7953459/3/Kaliedoscope
    and
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7953459/4/Kaliedoscope

    He looks more shocked to me. Like he's seen a ghost from his own past ;)
    Always had a thing for blue.

  8. #3308
    Forever Drood Drelion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sundowhn View Post
    Can someone help me think of a good name for a little girl (related to the story)?
    My fav girl names:

    Chezarae
    Karene
    Annabeth
    Laurel
    Katherine
    Clover
    Raine
    Evenyl

    ^_^
    Always had a thing for blue.

  9. #3309
    BAMF Brigade Sundowhn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Drelion View Post
    He looks more shocked to me. Like he's seen a ghost from his own past ;)
    Can't wait to see....grrrr.....May takes too long.

  10. #3310
    Junior Member Karl-5's Avatar
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    Oops, I accidentally read Chapters 3 and 4 backwards, since your link went to Chap 4. Darkholme dealing with the Bamfs(? or whatever they are) was quite hilarious, especially that final remark from the librarian. (I haven't been following that series, so I'm not up on every detail of it.) When/how did Darkholme find enough free time to actually go to the School in person? What happened between Chap. 3 and 4, where he was last seen tracking down Dark Beast?

    Again, I like the way you're writing Darkholme. Very believable from what we've seen in the comics so far.

  11. #3311
    BAMF Brigade Sundowhn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Drelion View Post
    My fav girl names:

    Chezarae
    Karene
    Annabeth
    Laurel
    Katherine
    Clover
    Raine
    Evenyl

    ^_^
    I'm trying to go for either traditional or, if unusual, then nothing that sounds too modern or trendy, and of course a variation or sound alike not already used somewhere in comics.

    Was batting around with Mareth, Drenda, Stella, Maribeth, Hannah, Ethry....

  12. #3312
    BAMF Brigade Sundowhn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karl-5 View Post
    Oops, I accidentally read Chapters 3 and 4 backwards, since your link went to Chap 4. Darkholme dealing with the Bamfs(? or whatever they are) was quite hilarious, especially that final remark from the librarian. (I haven't been following that series, so I'm not up on every detail of it.) When/how did Darkholme find enough free time to actually go to the School in person? What happened between Chap. 3 and 4, where he was last seen tracking down Dark Beast?

    Again, I like the way you're writing Darkholme. Very believable from what we've seen in the comics so far.
    He still is. The top of chapter 4 states that it occurred the previous week, so it was basically a flashback chapter. Chapter 5 will pick back up with his current activities. Chapter 3 and 4 had originally been one big one and I broke them in half, so that was where I made it confusing I suppose :( .

    The free time in comics seems like a flexible concept to me I suppose. I mean Logan and Betsy both presumably float back and forth from the base as needed. I figure if Kurt isn't actually on a mission, maybe he's pretty bored since he doesn't have a "day job" and would find ways to occupy himself.
    Last edited by Sundowhn; 04-12-2012 at 01:45 PM.

  13. #3313
    Junior Member Karl-5's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sundowhn View Post
    He still is. The top of chapter 4 states that it occurred the previous week, so it was basically a flashback chapter. Chapter 5 will pick back up with his current activities. Chapter 3 and 4 had originally been one big one and I broke them in half, so that was where I made it confusing I suppose :( .

    The free time in comics seems like a flexible concept to me I suppose. I mean Logan and Betsy both presumably float back and forth from the base as needed. I figure if Kurt isn't actually on a mission, maybe he's pretty bored since he doesn't have a "day job" and would find ways to occupy himself.
    Even had I read the chapters in numerical order, I think that flashback would have confused me, even though it did say the events took place a week ago. IMO, the jump back in time was too abrupt and awkward the way you did it. See what other readers say. I'd suggest putting the time at the School first in real time, possibly having it lead up to Darkholme's finding some clue about Dark Beast's whereabouts, and then send him off in search of his enemy from that point in time. Otherwise, it's a nice interlude but doesn't seem to go anywhere.

    I just went back and skimmed over it in the correct order, to see how it read that way. The phone conversation with Logan in Chap 3 led back naturally to his thoughts about his experiences with the AoA X-Men and the 616 X-Force. However, to go from there back a week doesn't flow right, especially since the main focus in Chap 4 seems to be on Darkholme's childhood, which really ought to come out prior to his experiences with the AoA X-Men. Is there some reason you didn't just tell it all in real time?

  14. #3314
    Forever Drood Drelion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sundowhn View Post
    I'm trying to go for either traditional or, if unusual, then nothing that sounds too modern or trendy, and of course a variation or sound alike not already used somewhere in comics.

    Was batting around with Mareth, Drenda, Stella, Maribeth, Hannah, Ethry....
    I like Beth names, well except for Elizabeth...but Annabeth, Beth, Maribeth, etc.

    I think we have a culture clash here tho cause I've never heard of Drenda, Mareth or Ethry. Hannah and Stella is super old school. LOL ^_^
    Always had a thing for blue.

  15. #3315
    BAMF Brigade Sundowhn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karl-5 View Post
    Even had I read the chapters in numerical order, I think that flashback would have confused me, even though it did say the events took place a week ago. IMO, the jump back in time was too abrupt and awkward the way you did it. See what other readers say. I'd suggest putting the time at the School first in real time, possibly having it lead up to Darkholme's finding some clue about Dark Beast's whereabouts, and then send him off in search of his enemy from that point in time. Otherwise, it's a nice interlude but doesn't seem to go anywhere.

    I just went back and skimmed over it in the correct order, to see how it read that way. The phone conversation with Logan in Chap 3 led back naturally to his thoughts about his experiences with the AoA X-Men and the 616 X-Force. However, to go from there back a week doesn't flow right, especially since the main focus in Chap 4 seems to be on Darkholme's childhood, which really ought to come out prior to his experiences with the AoA X-Men. Is there some reason you didn't just tell it all in real time?
    Yes, I see your point. I think I will take them down tonight and rework again.

    There actually is a reason I'm telling them in a non-consecutive order. One, the story obviously has to be done as a series of memories, as these are things from his past. I wanted it not to come off as just remembering in sequence, like watching a film, but be more of a situation where certain things are happening to him now that remind him of things back then, if you follow. It may be that it won't flow as intended. :(

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