Is Santa Claus a mutant??

[Flâneur]

Jubilee says so! What do you think??

And if he's not, you get to suckle on his fat furry nipples.

[worstblogever]

Suspected? Jubilee suspects it, and would've been put in Xorn's special class if she was still at Xavier's during Academy X. I don't think so.

You should start the "Is Santa Claus a mutant?" thread, Flanny, and see if I can be swayed by popular vote to further indicate that some speculate about it.

I didn't actually think you'd do it.

Ah HA!

Generation X: Holiday Special Summary courtesy of uncannyxmen.net!!!

Jubilee wonders if Santa's a mutant. That's your only indicator. And frankly, Jubilee probably wonders if she really could die from eating coke & pop rocks, if the Easter Bunny's an Inhuman, and since the tooth fairy leaves her money for teeth, if she leaves her toenails under her pillow, she might get cash for 'em, too.

St. Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Man-Friendly Hot Lipstick Lesbian. All three don't even really exist, even as mutations.

Case in point. He's St. Nick. Well, St. Ives was Nemesis, a member of Alpha Flight who wasn't a mutant. Then again, X-Force/X-Statix met St. Anna...

Sigh... I'm totally calling shenanigans on this one. Until I see as Sentinel land on the North Pole to terminate Kris Kringle and his workshop of elves with extreme prejudice, I can't buy it.

If Santa's a mutant, why didn't Xavier ever detect him with Cerebro, and roll up to the North Pole mid-year and ask for some new working legs for Christmas?

Santa Claus = NOT IN MUTANT TRACKER.

[DeniseXfrost]

and we all should know better than to listen to her

[Flâneur]

I didn't actually think you'd do it.







Santa Claus = NOT IN MUTANT TRACKER.

You should know by now that I have no qualms about my threads.

And Xavier didn't detect Cassie for decades. He never picked out most of the suspected mutants on your list, either. Santa belongs. Or would you rather suckle on his furry man boobs? That's the choice!

[FemGeek]

I don't think Santy is a mutant. I bet it's something infinetley more sinister; such as harnassing the powers of kidnapped mutants to create his ability to deliver toys at such speeds, while simultaneously drawing their youth from them to preserve his body for another generation. no one would suspect a kindly old man such as he to be guilty of such acts.
That or he's a robot.
Plus Jubilee is too special sometimes, and should be disregarded 90% of the time.

[worstblogever]

You should know by now that I have no qualms about my threads.

And Xavier didn't detect Cassie for decades. He never picked out most of the suspected mutants on your list, either. Santa belongs. Or would you rather suckle on his furry man boobs? That's the choice!

A cherry nose and a belly like a bowl full of jelly are not, in fact, mutant powers. Neither is making reindeer fly. Or fittin' down chimneys.

Besides, would Coca-Cola use a damn dirty mutie and paste his monstrous, deformed mug on all their holiday cans otherwise?

Would children leave cookies and milk for the mutant threat that comes for them once a year, and cannot be stopped from moving down the chimney?

If he was a mutant, Henry Peter Gyrich would've hunted his heathen hinder down for trying to overshadow Jesus on his birthday.



Oh yeah, Jubilee still makes Forrest Gump look like a rocket scientist, too.

[Flâneur]

A cherry nose and a belly like a bowl full of jelly are not, in fact, mutant powers. Neither is making reindeer fly. Or fittin' down chimneys.

Besides, would Coca-Cola use a damn dirty mutie and paste his monstrous, deformed mug on all their holiday cans otherwise?

Would children leave cookies and milk for the mutant threat that comes for them once a year, and cannot be stopped from moving down the chimney?

If he was a mutant, Henry Peter Gyrich would've hunted his heathen hinder down for trying to overshadow Jesus on his birthday.



Oh yeah, Jubilee still makes Forrest Gump look like a rocket scientist, too.

He was the first true mutant celebrity! Gyrich was so overcome with nostalgic love that he left Santa alone!

And Jubilee was smart enough to know that increasing her cup size would save her from limbo.

[AdamYJ]

Okay, letting the Jubilee bashing slide this time . . .

Anyway, Santa is not a mutant, but I'm pretty sure Rudolph is. I bet he can fire "nasal blasts" with that nose of his if he wants to.

[The Lucky One]

Santa Claus = NOT IN MUTANT TRACKER.

Actually, he is. In Marvel Holiday Special 1991, there's an X-Men story that takes place immediately before UXM #98. The All-New X-Men are relaxing at home, trimming a Christmas tree, when Cerebro detects the most powerful mutant ever recorded in Manhattan. They go to New York to investigate and run into the new Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, consisting of Unus the Untouchable, the Blob, Toad, and Mastermind, who are also there to recruit the new mutant. The two teams fight until Santa resolves the situation by turning the Brotherhood into action figures. He then tells the X-Men that he can't pick sides because he has his job to worry about, then teleports them to Rockefeller Square, in the process putting them back in their street clothes and erasing their memories of the entire incident, just in time for UXM #98 to begin.

So now you know. Santa Claus is a mutant.

-D

[Flâneur]

Actually, he is. In Marvel Holiday Special 1991, there's an X-Men story that takes place immediately before UXM #98. The All-New X-Men are relaxing at home, trimming a Christmas tree, when Cerebro detects the most powerful mutant ever recorded in Manhattan. They go to New York to investigate and run into the new Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, consisting of Unus the Untouchable, the Blob, Toad, and Mastermind, who are also there to recruit the new mutant. The two teams fight until Santa resolves the situation by turning the Brotherhood into action figures. He then tells the X-Men that he can't pick sides because he has his job to worry about, then teleports them to Rockefeller Square, in the process putting them back in their street clothes and erasing their memories of the entire incident, just in time for UXM #98 to begin.

So now you know. Santa Claus is a mutant.

-D

Hahahahaha

YESSSSSSS!!!!

[Pro]

Clearly Santa is a embodied archetypal manifestation emanating from the astral plane and given shape and form by the collective conciousness, materialised by the belief invested in it by generations of children.

[timbox]

Santa is a triploid and his mutant powers/genetic manipulations will be fully revealed in the current Astonishing X-Men arc.

[worstblogever]

Here's the comicbookdb.com entry for the Marvel Holiday Special 1991:

http://www.comicbookdb.com/issue.php?ID=38693

Note, Mastermind is one of the mutants present on the scene.

Case closed. The whole thing is an illusion, and Jubilee is still half a 'tard.

And for writing it... well... I'll lay off of Scott Lobdell. It was Christmas, after all!

[Rachel Grey]

...

Facepalms.

I dont know what's worse, that Flaneur made this retarded thread...

Or that he was proven right.

Damn you internet! Damn you to hell!

[worstblogever]

Someone needs to get Lobdell on the phone to say this crap isn't canon. Please.

But I'll play along for a minute. What If... Santa Claus IS a mutant.

Well, he wasn't listed as one of the 198, and they still can't detect his massive energies on Cerebra, right?

Which would mean, either he's been killed, or depowered as a result of the Decimation. Surely, a mutant with that much power would show up like a beacon, based off of how the baby showed up in the Messiah CompleX one shot.

So, we can assume then, that since M-Day, there hasn't been Christmas in the Marvel Universe.

If, in fact, the one story in the Holiday Special is not an illusion, and considered canon.

That's all I've got for now.