X-Factor #29 Summary (SPOILERS, NATURUALLY.)

**worstblogever** · 03-12-2008, 12:39 PM

Our issue opens with Rictor finding a "Dear John" letter from Rahne. He barely reads the first two sentences of why she left, when he burns up the letter and throws its charring remains into the toilet, saying, "To hell with your reasons, Sinclair. And to hell with you."

Guido and Jamie are talking about what's going on with mutant town, and Jamie, frustrated, yells at Guido for leaving X-Factor Investigations to become sheriff of a "Mutant Town" that doesn't have any mutants left. Guido points out that he told Val Cooper to take the job and shove it. Jamie, of course, tells him he can tell he isn't being honest, and Cooper simply withdrew the offer for the job, since the number of mutants in the city continues to dwindle.

Well, the two of them get home, and Siryn tries to tell Jamie that she's pregnant with his baby, but before she can finish her sentence, he starts yelling at her because he thinks she's going to leave like Rahne did. What ensues is a total misunderstanding over who's to blame for... well, Jamie assumes it's for Terry leaving, Terry assume's it's him blaming her for getting knocked up.

And then Rictor walks in, and announces that he's the one that's leaving, too. Jamie drops what he's doing with Siryn to go and try and talk sense into him, and Monet realizes that Madrox and Siryn simply had a "Three's Company" moment, where they both completely misunderstood the other. Oh yeah, and Siryn's still in love with Jamie.

Outside, Madrox and Guido try to talk Rictor into staying, but he's having none of it. When Jamie finally gives up, and Rictor walks out the door, though, he turns to see the office of X-Factor investigations hovering in the depths of space like in that movie, Zathura. He freaks out, and starts knocking on the door again to report the bizarre anomaly. As the front steps turn into a slide, trying to drop him off the edge, he dives and grabs onto the doorknob of the front, and screams for help until Guido opens the door, and lets him fall into the lobby. Rictor peeks back outside with Guido, only to see the entire depth of space is gone, and its simply the city, like it should be. He spends probably a minute trying to convince Guido it was really there, and the minute Guido turns his back, a trap door appears in the sidewalk, and drops Rictor down into it. Guido realizes now, something's not right, and does what a not-so-bright goof like himself would. He goes to get Madrox and the smarter members of X-Factor.

Theresa's in the kitchen, trying to tell Jamie she's pregnant again. Before she can, he runs to see what Guido is shouting about. Theresa looks down at her stomach, and says, "Don't worry, kid. I'm sure I'll manage to tell him before you graduate from high school."

Guido's trying to explain the incident outside, convinced he was teleported, or taken by a superspeedster or something, when Monet points out it's a much simpler solution, telling him their might be a trap door. Guido smashes into the sidewalk, and Madrox climbs down inside to investigate. The trail, however, is a bit confusing, since it leads right back up to a spot about fifteen feet away, tops.

Rictor wakes up, manacled to a crucifix upside down with a bladed pendulum quickly getting closer to his... well... crotch. Genitals. Man-sack. etc. He can hear two voices, one a client who hired a professional to take care of Rictor, and the other... well... that's the big reveal at the end. But he's a professional all right. And one with the best damned banter I've read in awhile. He even notes, "Banter is becoming a lost art. I think Spider-Man is the only living practitioner these days."

Well, Rictor screams for Monet, who can hear him. She flies off in the direction of his yell, and Madrox asks Siryn to take a dupe he creates (a courageous one) to fly after her as backup.

Just as Madrox thinks that it won't be long before all is laid bare, and the girls will find Rictor and it'll be sorted out by lunch, Guido points out... they're not on the streets of New York anymore. They're in a jungle.

Rictor, meanwhile, has the pendulum draw closer to his family jewels. His huevos. His twig and berries. Etc.

Back with Madrox and Guido, Jamie's trying to explain that there must be holographic projectors somewhere. Suddenly, an Indiana Jones styled giant rock rolls towards them. Guido assumes that since it's a hologram, it can't hurt them. Well, Jamie reminds Guido about how the holograms in the X-Men's Danger Room work, and how they can still even kill you. Before Guido can react and get out of the way of the "harmless" hologram, he's bowled over, and flattened. As the ball comes to a stop, there's a big painted image on it...

"GAME DAY IS HERE!

XOXO-

ARCADE"

Hell yes. This was a really, really fun setup issue to this arc. Outstanding dialogue, great character work on the pregnancy angle. Guido finally gets to do more. It could have used more Monet, perhaps, but she still had her moment to be as stone cold as ever. Highly recommended.