What is the lamest/worst motivation for a villain you've ever seen?

[ATOM HOTEP]

While listening to Chris Eckert describe Mirror Master's revamped Geoff Johns origin on the Fanboy Babylon podcast, it caused me to want to reread some of my collected Johns Flash issues to soak up some of the ridiculousness, and I'm reading the Zoom arc right now.

This has got to be up there with THE most ridiculous motivations for a villain I have ever seen - even crazy Silver Age theme/gimmick gangs' motivations have a bizzarre dream-logic going on in them. But Hunter Zolomon Zoom as a supertherapist is just about the goofiest thing I have ever seen. I mean "I'm trying to make you a better hero?" What? That's your motivation? That isn't badass, that's just annoying.

It's like that killer Monitor from the early issues of Countdown blathering about "removing anomalies from the timestream" or whatever. Do writers just not know how silly that looks in print? Removing confusing characters from continuity or whatever is a legitimate concern of a DC editor. But to have characters repeating that and referencing that in a completely straightforward way "YES. I AM FROM EARTH 4! I SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST! CRAZY HUH?" is silly as hell and just bad storytelling.

[Omar Karindu]

But Hunter Zolomon Zoom as a supertherapist is just about the goofiest thing I have ever seen. I mean "I'm trying to make you a better hero?" What? That's your motivation? That isn't badass, that's just annoying.

Erm...Hunter's motivation is pretty clearly that a) he's inherited his serial murderer father's insanity b) he refuses to take responsibility for the rookie mistake that got him crippled, destroyed his marriage, and resulted in his mentor and father-in-law being killed and c) that he deals with all of this by constructing an insane rationalization to justify blaming and torturing superheroes, and the Flash especially. Did you simply not pay attention to the other 21 pages of Flash v.2 #197?

As to genuinely crappy motivations for characters, you don't get much more in the way of unintentional goofiness than the Kangaroo, an apparently dead-serious Spider-Man villain created by no less than Stan Lee and John Romita, Sr. He was an Aussie who wanted to be able to jump like kangaroos, so he spent months in the Outback runnign around with them and eating what they ate. Naturally, this actually gave him super-jumping powers, which he used to become a boxer. And then he drop-kicked his first opponent to death and fled the country upon figuring out that he might go to jail for this. Once in the states, he immediately became the most directionless supervillain ever.

There's also the old Marvel Team-Up villain the Basilisk, who decided to destroy and/or conquer the world after gaining superpowers because other criminals had once made fun of him in prison by nicknaming him "basilisk." That was his entire motivation and the reason for his choice of codename.

Another might be -- sacreligious as this might seem -- the original version of the Green Goblin's origin, in which a chemical blew up in his face after turning green and somehow inspired Norman Osborn to become a Halloween-themed supervillain. In recent years, J.M. DeMatteis and Paul Jenkisn have loaded in some child abuse backstory to help matters, but as portrayed in the early days...

[Pól Rua]

Thomas Oscar Morrow becoming obsessed with the future because he's called T.O. Morrow has always been a good one for mine, but the grand-daddy of all of them though is Lex Luthor deciding to kill Superboy for making him bald while saving his life.

[Jack Zodiac]

Whatever, munkee. That's, quite possibly, one of the awesomest motivations in comic book history.

I think the lamest motivations are the villains who are just petty criminals who happened to gain superpowers. Sandman, Killer Croc, The Rhino. Just superpowered bankrobbers. They're fun to watch your favorite superheroes knock around, but they don't have the motivation necessary to create long-lasting arch-villains.

[ATOM HOTEP]

"Erm...Hunter's motivation is pretty clearly that a) he's inherited his serial murderer father's insanity"

Inheriting insanity is something you have to treat really broadly and goofily because I cannot buy that at all unless you handle it

"b) he refuses to take responsibility for the rookie mistake that got him crippled, destroyed his marriage, and resulted in his mentor and father-in-law being killed and"

I just feel like the need to make Zoom tragic is kinda lame. Not a fan of the "rape it up, let's throw some child abuse in there" backstory for larger than life supervillains

"c) that he deals with all of this by constructing an insane rationalization to justify blaming and torturing superheroes, and the Flash especially. Did you simply not pay attention to the other 21 pages of Flash v.2 #197?"

I couldn't pay too much attention, it was ghastly. It is kind of perversely entertaining to read the kind of stuff Johns would come up with for the Rouges, but that's only because it was so wrongheaded. He does handle Sinestro extraordinarily well, maybe it's because the scope of the character is a little more grandiose?

" Thomas Oscar Morrow becoming obsessed with the future because he's called T.O. Morrow has always been a good one for mine, but the grand-daddy of all of them though is Lex Luthor deciding to kill Superboy for making him bald while saving his life."

Lex Luthor's original motivation is sublime, in my opinion. It really does strike the perfect chord of pettiness.

I think I dislike a lot of modern villains and their motivations because they try so hard to be "realistic" and poignant.

[Pól Rua]

Whatever, munkee. That's, quite possibly, one of the awesomest motivations in comic book history.

I think the lamest motivations are the villains who are just petty criminals who happened to gain superpowers. Sandman, Killer Croc, The Rhino. Just superpowered bankrobbers. They're fun to watch your favorite superheroes knock around, but they don't have the motivation necessary to create long-lasting arch-villains.

See now, those are my faves.
I'm a criminal. I want money. I can tear holes in bank vaults... hrmm...?
Superpowered career criminals. Love 'em.

[Jack Zodiac]

When they get some more character after their first appearances (even Sandman got some decent issues devoted to making him more of a tragic villain than just a schmuck who got powers) I tend to like 'em better. But just a big bastard with superpowers tearing vault doors off, eh. They're fun for a brawl, but they don't make good, personal villains like The Joker and Lex Luthor- insanity and hair envy be damned!

[thehod]

Some of the old Batman villians have just the greatest origins ever.

Guess who these are....

??????? was a noted painter who led a double-life as a master criminal. He gave the plans for his crimes to various henchmen through clues left in his paintings. His criminal empire crashed to a halt when one of his henchmen double-crossed him and set him up to be arrested. Blinded by a gunshot wound, he was sent to prison, until he volunteered for an experimental procedure that would restore his vision with a special helmet fused to his optic nerves.

The procedure worked to a point, but had a tragic side effect; He could see, but the colors were blindingly vivid and disorienting. It drove him mad, and upon release he took on the guise of ???????

Phillip "Phil" Cobb was a gangster with big ideas. He came to Gotham City intent on hiring a gang of his own and making it big, only to be laughed at when he tried to recruit the gang because he had no reputation. Steaming with anger, he vowed to prove himself to Gotham's mobsters, and when he noticed how modern day society was regulated by signs, signals and symbols, he saw the inspiration for his criminal career. Becoming the ????????, he went on a spectacular crime spree using those signs and symbols as his motif. The crimes were actually quite cleverly constructed, at least for the time the stories were written.

Joe Coyne began his career selling newspapers for only a penny, but he was soon caught stealing pennies. He proceeded to commit crimes which centered around pennies. The giant penny often shown in the Batcave is a trophy of Batman's defeat of ???????????. After being captured by Batman, Coyne was sentenced to the electric chair for stealing pennies.

This guy is my favourite though....

[Pól Rua]

Some of the old Batman villians have just the greatest origins ever.

Guess who these are....

#1 is spoilers:

Crazy Quilt

end of spoilers.
#2 is spoilers:

The Signalman

end of spoilers.

I'm blanking on #3.

[dancj]

There was a colour themed villain in Booster Gold who was getting revenge on the world because he was a colour-blind artists.

Also of course pre-crisis Lex Luthor blamed Superman for his baldness.

[Gingold]

#1 is spoilers:

Crazy Quilt

end of spoilers.
#2 is spoilers:

The Signalman

end of spoilers.

I'm blanking on #3.

The Penny Plunderer?

[Pól Rua]

The Penny Plunderer?

DAMN! It was on the back of my tongue.
I kept getting caught on 'Penny Pincher' and I knew that wasn't it.

[ATOM HOTEP]

Man, some of this is getting close to dissing the likes of Bizzarro, who as far as I'm concerned has the best motivation of any villain ever.

[Santanico]

Also of course pre-crisis Lex Luthor blamed Superman for his baldness.

A friend of mine refers to this storyline as "Superman Killed My Hair". Never fails to make me laugh.

[Loren]

The worst recent motivation that immediately comes to mind is the new motivation given to Klaw in the pages of "Black Panther."

It amounted to: Your great-great-granddaddy killed my great-great-granddaddy. And all my great-great-granddaddy was trying to do was invade and conquer your homeland in the name of Belgium.