Things overheard at the bookstore...

[Athena Bast]

Well.. not so much overheard on my end but still a little funny nonetheless.

A lady comes to the cash with "The Children of Men".

I say "Oooh, this is being made into a movie with Clive Owen. Should be out this month I think,"

The lady says, "Oh, I didn't know it was science fiction,"

[Buzz Dixon]

Reminds me of a local (i.e., L.A.) TV movie critic who waxed enthusiastic about wanting to see Spielberg's new sci-fi thriller EMPIRE OF THE SUN.

[Sabrina_Fried]

Here's a gem from my days as a bookseller:

A woman comes into my store and comes up to me and asks for some help. She says she is looking for a very particular book.

I ask her if she knows the title or author or what it is about, etc.

She opens up her purse and pulls out a carpet swatch.

"We're redoing our living room." She says "And I need to find some nice hardcover books that match the new carpet."

I made sure to show her the most expensive shelf-warmers we had. Then laughed myself sick in the staff room afterward for most of my lunch break.

Sabrina

[Deathstroke]

Here's a gem from my days as a bookseller:

A woman comes into my store and comes up to me and asks for some help. She says she is looking for a very particular book.

I ask her if she knows the title or author or what it is about, etc.

She opens up her purse and pulls out a carpet swatch.

"We're redoing our living room." She says "And I need to find some nice hardcover books that match the new carpet."

I made sure to show her the most expensive shelf-warmers we had. Then laughed myself sick in the staff room afterward for most of my lunch break.

Sabrina

That should be grounds for justifiable homicide.

[jabrams007]

I used to work at a major book retailer.

Some of my favorite things customers asked me were:

"I don't know the name of the book or the author, but I know the cover is green."

"Where is the non-fiction section?"

"You're a young person, what's the newest book by a drug addict?"

After getting the Cliff Notes version of Shakespeare's McBeth for a highschool girl, she asked me if "We had anything shorter."

"Is the biography section fiction or non-fiction?"

and my personal favorite of all-time:

"I'm looking for an audiobook about sign language."

Plus there was the time a woman came in looking for a book called "Mind Camp." I check the computer and there's no book listed under that title. She insists there is and I spend the next 15 minutes trying to find it. Finally, she remembers that she thinks Adolf Hitler wrote it. I try not to burst out laughing and lead her over to "Mein Kampf" by Adolf Hitler. I must have laughed for the next 20 minutes once she left.

[Deathstroke]

"You're a young person, what's the newest book by a drug addict?"

You mean you didn't know?

After getting the Cliff Notes version of Shakespeare's McBeth for a highschool girl, she asked me if "We had anything shorter."

So obviously she was going to have to give her teacher a lap dance to pass the test.

"Is the biography section fiction or non-fiction?"

Given all the BS going on with authors these days (That Oprah guy that was a fake) , this is an unintentionally relevant question these days.

[Solaris]

Here's a gem from my days as a bookseller:

A woman comes into my store and comes up to me and asks for some help. She says she is looking for a very particular book.

I ask her if she knows the title or author or what it is about, etc.

She opens up her purse and pulls out a carpet swatch.

"We're redoing our living room." She says "And I need to find some nice hardcover books that match the new carpet."

I made sure to show her the most expensive shelf-warmers we had. Then laughed myself sick in the staff room afterward for most of my lunch break.

Sabrina

I love every single reply in this thread, and they've all made me laugh out loud---but this is pure, sweet karma.


PS---if one of them was a book of poetry, you *could* say that it was "poetic justice."

:D ba-dum-bum, ching!

[Buzz Dixon]

A friend of mine ran a newsstand/paperback book store back in the early 70s. A local bluenose came in to dissuade him from carrying porn. Said bluenose told him they had convinced the drugstore next door to stop carrying porn.

"I've got a deal with the drugstore," my friend said. "They don't sell smut, I don't push drugs."

My friend had a wicked sense of humor. He labeled the porn rack "The Culture Corner."

[Deathstroke]

A friend of mine ran a newsstand/paperback book store back in the early 70s. A local bluenose came in to dissuade him from carrying porn. Said bluenose told him they had convinced the drugstore next door to stop carrying porn.

"I've got a deal with the drugstore," my friend said. "They don't sell smut, I don't push drugs."

My friend had a wicked sense of humor. He labeled the porn rack "The Culture Corner."

Your friend is very funny.

[End of Time]

I once saw a salesman turn deathly pale.

but then it was because this really old woman, the typical doting grandmother who knits sweaters- type, wanted to know what American Psycho was about...

Never heard a more awkward description of a book about graphically killing people for the sheer fun of it as I did that day.

but the woman still bought it... and I think that was the nail in the guy's coffin... to let some poor little women walk away with a book that you could say the least is disturbing.

[i_mmmchocolate]

How about things seen at the bookstore?

You know that taboo section in Barnes and Noble-- the one that no one wants to be seen in, browsing through the material? Yeah, the Sexuality area.

While walking through the store, I noticed a 60ish year old man looking through the books in that section. Didn't think twice about it. That is, until I was heading back out and he came out of that aisle-- the front of his khaki pants were, um, all wet.

Awkwardness.

[Buzz Dixon]

(true part of the story)

10-15 years ago there was a flasher who used to hit the children's sections of local book stores. My daughter was one of those who reported seeing him.














(comedic embellishment)

From what she reported, he would have been better off in the short story or self improvement sections.

>rimshot< Thenkhew! Thenkhew! Ya binna wunnaful audience! Don't forget to tip ya waitress!

[Deathstroke]

(true part of the story)

10-15 years ago there was a flasher who used to hit the children's sections of local book stores. My daughter was one of those who reported seeing him.














(comedic embellishment)

From what she reported, he would have been better off in the short story or self improvement sections.

>rimshot< Thenkhew! Thenkhew! Ya binna wunnaful audience! Don't forget to tip ya waitress!

You forgot "I'll be here all week."

[Buzz Dixon]

You forgot "I'll be here all week."

For me or the flasher?

[Deathstroke]

For me or the flasher?

For you I meant.