I Got These New Eyes Yesterday

[The Grand Beef]

Not good BUT...it was fun and colorful to write.

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I woke up yesterday morning with four eyes! My two old eyes were still there, but there were then two new ones! They were under my forehead and they let me see so so many interesting and unusual things. One above where my unibrow would be if I had one, the second new eye below my hairline. What a shock that was!

So many interesting things I seen, I almost didn't need my old eyes. In fact, I tried to walk around using only my new eyes, but I walked into a wall. My eyes needed to co-operate.

I went to the bathroom and peed. Then I took a shower. When I brushed my teeth afterward, I looked in the mirror above the sink and light was coming out of all my eyes, even though my two new eyes were under the skin of my forehead! Oh, it was a trip. I was so excited about the light, I went to tell my mom, to let my eyelight shine on her. But when I went into the living room, she just said, "Good morning." So, I supposed only I could see the lights. Maybe the eyelights are like ideas. To me, my ideas are so obvious that I can't understand why other people can't see them, but they're real to only me until I say something about it. But I decided that I wouldn't mention my eyes or the light to anyone, because I was afraid I'd get those same faces from people when I tell them about my ideas. But, thats okay. I'm used to people giving me funny looks.

I was driving down the road. Sometimes I'd close my new eyes and the world would look so bland and colorless. And then I'd open them again and the possibilities were everywhere. Then I'd close my old eyes and there was the light and possibilities, but no structure. But I could only do that for a short time, or else I'd drive off the road.

Anyway. I went to the grocery store because I was out of Mountain Dew. The produce area was amazing, little communities of headless spirits dancing over the various fruits and vegetables, and they were singing, OH the singing! But, I had shopping to do, so I went to walking around and stuff, to gaze at food and boxes and cans.

Then, this girl came around the corner of the isle I was walking down. She had such a light inside her! It was amazing. Not like the light from my eyes. The light from my eyes was glorious like the sun, the light in this girl was glorious like a dim candle trying to break through the darkness during a thunderstorm when the lights go out. It's trying so hard to give form to the shit around it, but not quite getting there, not quite able to reach through the surrounding darkness. A union was in order, I'd help her light shine brighter perhaps? I don't know what I was thinking I would be able to do, but I HAD to do something, right? Right. I am a gentleman after all. I help when I can.

So I walked up to her and said hello. She looked at me in my eyes (my old eyes) and she must have seen something (perhaps my new eyes) because she went all drowsy and floppy. So I grabbed her to help her stay up and passionatly kissed her just because I felt like it. Now, that was interesting.

At first, it was just a kiss. Right there in the cereal isle! Nobody cared though. When people see things they don't want to see, they don't see it. What was funny was the people who saw something they pretended they didn't want to see... but really secretly did want to see... so they tried to make like they didn't see, but in fact, they were staring.

But it was grand. She was limp, but she didn't let go of me. I thought maybe I had been a bit too forward with her, so I tried to pull out, but she bit my tongue so I couldn't pull away. After that, I just assumed she was enjoying our union of saliva and warm writhing wetness. Yipee!

And then the strangest thing happened! Well, strange to you, it was perfectly natural to us. Our lights did shine brighter! As if the lights knew what was happening, so they got ready for something amazing. I could see the lights from my eyes reflecting off boxes of Lucky Charms and Honey Smacks, and the light in her got as bright as my own. No more weak candle half-light, oh no, now our lights were feeding off each other while at the same time nurishing each other. Her light shown in her belly, or at least, thats how it looked from my angle of view. It was a very clean white light in a sphere at her belly, with little blue airy whispy liquid light coming off. Very interesting.

Then I felt something crawling up my throat. I became alarmed! Again, I tried to pull away in case it was vomit, but she clamped down on my lower lip, and dug into my back with her fingers. I couldn't get away, but soon I knew that it wasn't vomit. It was like a stick person crawling up my throat, I could feel its small thin hands and feet climbing up my esophagus. She must had known it was coming because she threw her head back and moaned. Right there in the fucking grocery store!

But I had little time to worry about it. I felt the sides of my jaws crack and my mouth started to open wide. So wide! It kept opening and opening wide like a snake, and her jaw did the same thing. I felt pain in my skull and my forehead split down the middle. My new eyes came out, twin suns down the middle of my scalp. The light was so bright now that color was impossible, the girls face was white, her hair was white, her eyes were white, her horribly distended jaw was white and I could see down her mouth into her soul (though, it was shining back this same clean white light as me, so I couldn't make out what it exactly looked like).

It was wonderful. Ecstasy. The long stick person with a slightly thicker stick head climbed out of my mouth, looked back at me, smiled (even though it had no mouth, what a trip, right?) and crawled into her mouth. I could hear her gurgling and sputtering and gasping, but with a grin of utter pleasure on her face as my jaw started to clack and clatter shut. After a moment, hers did as well. Her light gave one more BRIGHT burst of light, then dwindled down. My forehead came back together, hiding my new eyes and I couldn't see light reflected off the cereal boxes anymore.

I had to lean up against some canned beans, and she leaned on me. I couldn't tell how I looked, but she looked exhausted. Her light had dimmed, but it was our light now. Very small, but much brighter. No more half-light, but a white speck inside her. When she caught her breath, she whispered in my ear, "We have created together such wonderful things, such amazing ideas. They will grow and blossom."

Then she wandered off.

I paid for my Mountain Dew and went home. When I got to my room, I was pooped out big time. So I sat down on my bed and decided to just rest my eyes for a few moments. After those few moments though, I was fast asleep.

When I woke up, my new eyes were gone. I could feel that they were gone. I ran to the bathroom and there was no more light. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and cried for a long time.

But I suppose my eyes will come back to me one day when I really need them.

~Beefy!

[atoningunifex]

That is so wonky and fun! Someone needs to make a little stop motion animated movie out of it! I love it!

[The Grand Beef]

Glad yeh liked it, sur.

~Beefy!

[dtgooden]

Weird stuff man, but I like it. I enjoyed the surreal feel of it and then you'd drop something in like Mountain Dew and canned beans. I'd like to know what happened later to the girl, if she birthed all those ideas and what the might be!

[The Grand Beef]

Mountain Dew will make any story better.

I don't know what happened to her. My forehead eyes have yet to re-appear, but many other crazy things have happened to me in the couple months since that night. Maybe I should try and find her.

~Richie