I'm sorry, but this comic is lame enough to get itself a stand alone topic. xD
For the first discussion of this topic, I would like to bring out the comparison between two comic series that changes Spidey dramatically (Ultimate Spidey and Spidey Super Stories).
Long before Ultimate Spider-Man came along to "re-hipify" Spider-Man, there was another trailblazing, alternate continuity series. This other series was the first one to feature Harry Osborn and Mary Jane in the same High School class as Peter. The first to show an alternate origin story. The first to appeal to a younger audience. What is this landmark series? Why, Spidey Super Stories, of course! So, realizing how much Ultimate Spider-Man stole from our beloved Spidey Super Stories, I did a comparison between the two, and you can make up your mind for yourself.
Comparison Between Ultimate Spider-Man and Spidey Super Stories
- Green Goblin is hulking, mysterious mute.
- Has Mary Jane as Peter's brainy bookworm pal.
- Written by boringly named Brain Bendis.
- Supporting Cast is mostly other high school kids.
- No plans for a storyline involving super-villains who mind-control gorillas to wash their laundry or who feed people magical insect hot dogs.
- Colors determined using the latest computer-generated shading and blending techniques on all surfaces.
- Printed on slick and glossy high quality paper.
- Mark Bagley has a great sense of layout, proportion, 3-dimensionality, camera angle, and action in his pencils.
- 3 ho-hum villains in 8 issues.
- Big controversy about Uncle Ben having a pony-tail.
- Gets powers from some kind of drugged-up spider.
- Spider-Man is all unsure of his powers and stuff.
- Has normal comic-book sound effects.
- Spider-Man gets beat up a lot.
- Harry Osborn - looks like renegade member of Backstreet Boys.
Spidey Super Stories
- Can't get the Green Goblin to shut up and stop cackling no matter what we do.
- Has Mary Jane firmly placed in the 'ditz' category where she belongs, dammit.
- Later issues written by winners like Kolfax Mingo and Bobo Del'Air.
- Supporting Cast consists of Librarians, Pimps, B-Movie Directors, Monkeys, Bimbos, Hot Dog Vendors, and Kid-Tastic Musical Groups.
- Always planning for storylines involving super-villains who mind-control gorillas to wash their laundry or who feed people magical insect hot dogs.
- Colors determined by throwing darts at a color wheel.
- Printed on paper you'd be afraid to wipe your ass with.
- Winslow Mortimer draws some damn good-looking monkeys.
- 3 completely insane villains in EVERY issue.
- Neatly sidestepped whole 'pony-tail' issue by not creating Uncle Ben in the first place.
- Gets powers from good old radiation, just the way God intended it.
- Spider-Man can create Web-Hang-Gliders and Web-Teapots in less time than it takes you to tell him that's physically impossible.
- Has wildly inappropriate sound effects that represent sounds that have never actually been made on the surface of the Earth.
- Spider-Man gets beat up a lot, and then saved by idiots armed only with seltzer water and some delicious gelatin dessert.
- Harry Osborn - still has the classic Brillo Pad haircut.
More discussions might be added later, depending on whether Jennifer of the Freaking jungle will make a second appearance first.