The Internet is a funny place

[Joe Rice]

I recently was given a bunch of chat transcripts and the like from my earlier internet life. I haven't read through all of them, but the "most recent" were from 1999 and 2000. This was a . . .particularly tumultuous time in my life, as I was having my first ever love affair (sounds so goddam dramatic) with a woman who refused to leave her boyfriend. I was also, of course, just breaking the early 20s of my life. Reading through it, I was not awashed with nostalgia, but shame. Shame and embarrassment. I was officially not telling anyone about my situation, but the hints were dropped like elbows at a wrestling match. I was in a state of constant upset: always drinking and mostly angry.

It was a bad time in my life, in many ways, and reading my words from it was very humbling. I'd, of course, like to apologize to anyone who knew me at that time. I wouldn't be able to stand me from then either.

In the transcripts were conversations with real-life friends with whom I am no longer in touch, including aforementioned taken deflowerer. That was, as you can imagine, an incredibly weird reading situation. It's easy to villify someone after the fact, but it's more difficult to remember why they were so appealing, and to then humanize them.

Anyway, a very weird experience. Word to the wise: watch out what you say on the internet. In six years, it'll be horrifying.

[west3man]

Anyway, a very weird experience. Word to the wise: watch out what you say on the internet. In six years, it'll be horrifying.
Sounds like a word from the wise.

[Joe Rice]

Sounds like a word from the wise.

Only in that "Do something stupid and learn from it" way.

[Dr. Hfuhruhurr]

Only in that "Do something stupid and learn from it" way.

Unfortunately, there is rarely any other way to learn. At least for me. For example, when's the last time anyone has actually followed the advice given them by their friends? Especially advice concerning one's love life.

[Sir Tim Drake]

Only in that "Do something stupid and learn from it" way.

Isn't that the definition of wisdom? ;)

[Paradox]

Oh, this'd be kind of funny, if it wasn't obviously disturbing you a little, Joe.

Yup, DadAmerican was a dick. There's no getting around that. But I always wondered about Joe. See, I learned early on that while Joe Grendel was often an acerbic prick, Beau Yarbrough was a really nice guy. I always figured Dada was just an immature front, myself. Glad the "real you" eventually surfaced.

Hey...we learn...we grow...

[Joe Rice]

"DaDamerican" was also a teenager. I was pretty much the youngest of the "Pantheon" generation, and I think folks (including me) forgot that. Going through these chat transcripts, I could see where every bump in my life hit: when I finally gave it to Jaime, when we "broke up" for the first time, when I started just sleeping around and drinking all the time . . .it's a very weird social history.

[Joe Rice]

The good news is, getting on AIM to talk to my artist, I ran into Amanda/staymonkee/Angelurr, a good friend from that time who used to chat at the Pantheon site. We hadn't really talked much since that time and it was great running back into her. Ever since I re-read those, I was struck by how good a friend she was in a very difficult time for me.

[west3man]

The good news is, getting on AIM to talk to my artist, I ran into Amanda/staymonkee/Angelurr, a good friend from that time who used to chat at the Pantheon site. We hadn't really talked much since that time and it was great running back into her. Ever since I re-read those, I was struck by how good a friend she was in a very difficult time for me.
Of all the internet's pro's and con's, the way-back-machine property is among the most redeeming. It's kinda like a gift. Sometimes, even when it's bad, it's good.