Typo Lad
12-27-2005, 06:29 AM
It was Chanukah Eve, and all through the town,
Latkes and doughnuts were being scarfed down.
Menorahs were lit and blessings were said.
Dreidels were spun and cards were read.
But in one little apartment in Teaneck, N. J.
One young married man was alone –oy vey!
His wife and his daughter had gone south, you see.
To spend the holiday with his bride’s family.
He had no vacation time, so at home he stayed.
With pasta to eat and video games to be played.
The toilet seat could be left up with impunity!
But despite this, from sadness there was no immunity.
Alone on Chanukah? It shouldn’t happen to a dog!
He was sad and depressed, his spirits in a fog.
When suddenly the bedroom he heard such a din!
It was the phone! Now who could be calling him?
T’was his friend Sol, from the old neighborhood.
He was calling to see if his Chanukah was good.
Such a nice boy, let me tell you!
He understood how to be a good Jew.
Well, when our young man mentioned that he was alone,
Sol acted quickly and hung up that phone.
He got in the car and drove across town.
“Get in” he said, “and wipe off that frown!”
Into Bergen we drove, through a deluge of rain.
As our hero was struggling with his sadness and pain.
They pulled into the driveway and ran for the door,
Then our young man’s eyes filled with visions of yore.
Old Jimmy Olson Comics! Old Blackhawk! Lois Lane!
War Comics, Brave and Bold! This stash was insane!
His spirits lifted, our hero’s face broke out in a grin,
Which then grew wider with a gift Sol gave to him.
Not one gift, really. It was actually a pair.
Two Katana, sharp enough to slice through a hair.
Lovely lacquered sheaths and a rack for them as well.
What could he say but “Oh bloody hell!”
Thanking his friend they returned to his domicile.
He sat and stared at the swords for a while.
Those Highlander replicas has such style!
He even took them out and gave them a whirl!
Then suddenly it hit him: What about Papergirl?
The dreaded pirate leader was a dear friend to this man!
Why, she was practically a part of his very own clan!
He thought “When Bev hears I have these she’ll feel so betrayed!
Maybe it’s better if they’re not displayed?”
But no, he decided, they were a gift, that’s not right.
Besides, this time of year, it won’t start a fight.
Ninja and pirate may quibble all year,
But a blood feud on Chanukah would be very queer.
So he set up his Katana (peace-bonding them tight).
Freilechen Chanukah to all, and to all a good night.
Latkes and doughnuts were being scarfed down.
Menorahs were lit and blessings were said.
Dreidels were spun and cards were read.
But in one little apartment in Teaneck, N. J.
One young married man was alone –oy vey!
His wife and his daughter had gone south, you see.
To spend the holiday with his bride’s family.
He had no vacation time, so at home he stayed.
With pasta to eat and video games to be played.
The toilet seat could be left up with impunity!
But despite this, from sadness there was no immunity.
Alone on Chanukah? It shouldn’t happen to a dog!
He was sad and depressed, his spirits in a fog.
When suddenly the bedroom he heard such a din!
It was the phone! Now who could be calling him?
T’was his friend Sol, from the old neighborhood.
He was calling to see if his Chanukah was good.
Such a nice boy, let me tell you!
He understood how to be a good Jew.
Well, when our young man mentioned that he was alone,
Sol acted quickly and hung up that phone.
He got in the car and drove across town.
“Get in” he said, “and wipe off that frown!”
Into Bergen we drove, through a deluge of rain.
As our hero was struggling with his sadness and pain.
They pulled into the driveway and ran for the door,
Then our young man’s eyes filled with visions of yore.
Old Jimmy Olson Comics! Old Blackhawk! Lois Lane!
War Comics, Brave and Bold! This stash was insane!
His spirits lifted, our hero’s face broke out in a grin,
Which then grew wider with a gift Sol gave to him.
Not one gift, really. It was actually a pair.
Two Katana, sharp enough to slice through a hair.
Lovely lacquered sheaths and a rack for them as well.
What could he say but “Oh bloody hell!”
Thanking his friend they returned to his domicile.
He sat and stared at the swords for a while.
Those Highlander replicas has such style!
He even took them out and gave them a whirl!
Then suddenly it hit him: What about Papergirl?
The dreaded pirate leader was a dear friend to this man!
Why, she was practically a part of his very own clan!
He thought “When Bev hears I have these she’ll feel so betrayed!
Maybe it’s better if they’re not displayed?”
But no, he decided, they were a gift, that’s not right.
Besides, this time of year, it won’t start a fight.
Ninja and pirate may quibble all year,
But a blood feud on Chanukah would be very queer.
So he set up his Katana (peace-bonding them tight).
Freilechen Chanukah to all, and to all a good night.