Dan Slott Vs. Kurt Busiek!

[Gail Simone]

Dan Slott Vs. Kurt Busiek, in the ultimate knife fight, over a flaming pit of firey poisonous snakes with laser vision...

WHO WINS?

Gail

[stealthwise]

The snakes get some good ol' fashioned geek-steaks! :D

[Weetomuncher]

I reckon Dan Slott would win!


He'd clobber Kurt round the noggin with a She-Hulk TPB and he'd fall to his death amongst the fiery laser snakes of Doom!

[heystacy]

My money's on Kurt, but I think they would both fall in the pit.

[Ed Cunard]

Kurt Busiek wins.

[rismo63]

Slott's been training his entire life for this. He wants it more. Sometimes that's what it just comes down to.

[Weetomuncher]

Why don't they have ideas like this on television?

[sixstringguild]

How much prep time do they get? Are they in berserker rage mode?

[Lester C.]

I love The Man (Kurt Busiek) but Dan Slott would slot Kurt Busiek. (Like Cam63 wasn’t going to make the bad last name pun.)

[rismo63]

How much prep time do they get? Are they in berserker rage mode?

People, don't you see? Slott doesn't need to prep for this!

[Hybrid2]

Kurt win.

He trow all the hate mail,he got from when he had Superman beat thor in JLA/Avenger,at Dan.

Paper cuts and crushed to dead. :evilsmile

[Bruce Wayne Jr.]

Dan Slott Vs. Kurt Busiek, in the ultimate knife fight, over a flaming pit of firey poisonous snakes with laser vision...

WHO WINS?

Gail

This is like where the king threatens to cut the baby in half!

I can't choose! :)

[Azrael52]

Dan Slott Vs. Kurt Busiek, in the ultimate knife fight, over a flaming pit of firey poisonous snakes with laser vision...

WHO WINS?

Gail

The fans.


hehehehehehe :evilsmile

[Dan_Slott]

Silly Rabbits.

What would happen is that Kurt and I would fight AT FIRST. Then we'd realize we were both on the same side. THEN we'd team-up and fight the snakes TOGETHER!


(Geez, and I thought you guys actually READ comics!) ;)

[Expletive Deleted]

Kurt Busiek wins.Damnit, I wanted to say that!He'd clobber Kurt round the noggin with a She-Hulk TPB and he'd fall to his death amongst the fiery laser snakes of Doom!If they're dueling with trades, though, Kurt could use Absolute JLA/Avengers. That thing's a brick.

[El Santo]

Dan Slott, because I read more of his comics.

[Azrael52]

Silly Rabbits.

What would happen is that Kurt and I would fight AT FIRST. Then we'd realize we were both on the same side. THEN we'd team-up and fight the snakes TOGETHER!


(Geez, and I thought you guys actually READ comics!) ;)


What, does this type thing happen a lot? :confused:

[shrike]

With no disrespect to Mr Slott, Kurt I think has read EVERY comic in the past (at least) forty years. He is an ENCYCLOPEDIA of superhero (and villain) tactics.

He would have Mr Slott bagged and tagged 50 different ways before you could say 'Reading Rainbow'.

[Kurt Busiek]

With no disrespect to Mr Slott, Kurt I think has read EVERY comic in the past (at least) forty years. He is an ENCYCLOPEDIA of superhero (and villain) tactics.

He would have Mr Slott bagged and tagged 50 different ways before you could say 'Reading Rainbow'.

Yeah, but then Dan would do that thing where he doesn't resist, to prove we shouldn't be enemies, and he's facing certain death if I don't save him from something falling from the sky, so I save him and we talk and then go kick the crap out of the Wrecking Crew.

Er, the snakes.

kdb

[Azrael52]

I think that Kurt would win b/c he has underhandly drawn a laser-beam-snake-pit on the ground ala Road Runner and Coyote.

[Paploo the Ewok]

Dan Slott Vs. Kurt Busiek, in the ultimate knife fight, over a flaming pit of firey poisonous snakes with laser vision...

WHO WINS?

Gail

Kurt Busiek. Nothing can defeat him!
Sorry Dan, but you had to die.

[Gail Simone]

If they killed each OTHER, and got et by snakeys, then that's two less brilliant writers I have to compete with!

GO SNAKES!

Gail

[Gail Simone]

And the thought of stinky ol' THOR beating Superman is too crazy to contemplate.

Gail

[PatrickG]

Silly Rabbits.

What would happen is that Kurt and I would fight AT FIRST. Then we'd realize we were both on the same side. THEN we'd team-up and fight the snakes TOGETHER!


(Geez, and I thought you guys actually READ comics!) ;)

See... I think Kurt would pull a Thunderbolts kinda twist here.

You guys would fight, team-up, defeat the snakes and then on the page 21-22 shock cliffhanger ending, we learn that it's really anti-matter Kurt Busiek. He thanks you for helping him defeat the snakes and then he shoots you in the head.

But no worries because Keith Giffen and Cully Hamner will create a brand new Dan Slott (no relation to the old one) a year later and your popularity (and controversy level) will shoot through the roof.

That's right. No more funny Dan Slott. He'll be dead. It'll be mystic, Texan, Kirbyesque Dan Slott in a dead serious action adventure phase.

And if that bombs after a few years, they'll probably just try to make the new Dan Slott as funny as the old one. ;)

But the real shocker is that Dan Slott's death will prompt Gail to go back to hairdressing for a few weeks to learn the uber-secret solution -- that the snakepit Anti-Matter Kurt and Dan Slott were fighting on was really (get ready for this) the head of...

Super Giant-Size Medusa from Krypton!

Who will stop Anti-Matter Kurt Busiek from unleashing Bald Super Giant Size Medusa from Krypton upon the fans at San Diego?

[Paploo the Ewok]

If they killed each OTHER, and got et by snakeys, then that's two less brilliant writers I have to compete with!

GO SNAKES!

Gail


WATCH OUT GRANT MORRISON!
GAIL HAS A BEAVER AND SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! ^_^

[Ed Cunard]

(Geez, and I thought you guys actually READ comics!) ;)

I read mostly indie comics, Dan. This means, from my perspective, you and Kurt have to choose from the following list while you fight:

• dance around your feelings for one another
• whine about how difficult your lives are
• use more scatalogical humor
• consort or fight with zombies, ninjas or pirates

Heavy doses of staring into your respective navels would help increase my comfort zone too.

[OzBat!]

But the real shocker is that Dan Slott's death will prompt Gail to go back to hairdressing for a few weeks to learn the uber-secret solution -- that the snakepit Anti-Matter Kurt and Dan Slott were fighting on was really (get ready for this) the head of...

Super Giant-Size Medusa from Krypton!

Who will stop Anti-Matter Kurt Busiek from unleashing Bald Super Giant Size Medusa from Krypton upon the fans at San Diego?
Okay, now I am in awe of the comic nerds' thought process. That's just scary!

Are you sure we didn't see a variation of that in an old Superman Family issue? Possibly involving Krypto in a canine clown outfit??

[shrike]

you know, screw this whole fighting between writers, that is so passe.

i want to see matches between posters. now THAT is an idea with some life in it!

[matterconsumer]

After the first one sustained a plastic knife wound they would hear the cries down in the pit.

That would be Joe Q with his flaming puppet snakes with glaring red diode eyes.

Then their knives would be exchanged for spoons and they would all go get ice cream...and debate who's the best Wonder Twin!

[Kurt Busiek]

I read mostly indie comics, Dan. This means, from my perspective, you and Kurt have to choose from the following list while you fight:

• dance around your feelings for one another
• whine about how difficult your lives are
• use more scatalogical humor
• consort or fight with zombies, ninjas or pirates

Heavy doses of staring into your respective navels would help increase my comfort zone too.

That stuff? We don't call that a fight. We call that "Tuesdays."

kdb

[Crowley]

And the thought of stinky ol' THOR beating Superman is too crazy to contemplate.

Gail

Gail, Gail, Gail...

Superman's weaknesses are Kryptonite, Magic and as a newspaper writer... Bad Medieval Grammar.

Advantage: Thor


though I think Beta Ray Bill would really whup Supes...

[matterconsumer]

and on that dirty Thor thought, a free public reminder to folk to keep their hammers clean...

[Tad Sivana]

That's right, or in the words of Bob Dylan, they'll find you with 'your hammers a'bleedin!' and that is really Thor!

Regarding Kurt vs. Dan vs. laser-eye fire snakes....sounds like it would have to break up when Gail, who is manipulating the snakes with her mind powers, (her evil handle is MindBlogger), overbalances from insidious glee at their fight and falls into the pit herself, forcing the two writers to rescue her and squabble over who will remove the flaming venom out of all her bites.
This degenerates into a polite samaritanish squabble:
"You suck!"
"No, you suck!"

[Karl J. Barnes]

That's right, or in the words of Bob Dylan, they'll find you with 'your hammers a'bleedin!' and that is really Thor!

Regarding Kurt vs. Dan vs. laser-eye fire snakes....sounds like it would have to break up when Gail, who is manipulating the snakes with her mind powers, (her evil handle is MindBlogger), overbalances from insidious glee at their fight and falls into the pit herself, forcing the two writers to rescue her and squabble over who will remove the flaming venom out of all her bites.
This degenerates into a polite samaritanish squabble:
"You suck!"
"No, you suck!"

And then the fight to see who "sucks" ensues.

[matterconsumer]

And then the fight to see who "sucks" ensues.

and then the credits begin for Pacifier 2...

[Phoney Bone]

Neither one.

Alan Moore interferes and chokeslams the both of 'em.

[stealthwise]

(Geez, and I thought you guys actually READ comics!) ;)

Is that what they're for? Jeez, I've been making paper boats out of them this entire time!

Mmmm, pretty floaty colours...

[the4thpip]

What if the snakes are really Skrulls?
I mean, Marvel is gonna reveal that Jubilee has been a Skrull all these years. Why not the snakes?

[OzBat!]

Well, that doesn't work, because the snakes have laser-eyes, and Jubilee doesn't have laser-eyes! So one or the other can't be skrulls!

[Watery Tart]

Jubilee doesn't have laser-eyes!But how do we know that? What if EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER KNOWN ABOUT JUBILEE HAS BEEN A LIE??!

WATCH OUT GRANT MORRISON!
GAIL HAS A BEAVER AND SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! ^_^Hee. Sorry, I need to take a moment. Hee hee hee. "Beaver."

Anyway, the snakes win. Either one or both falls into the pit, and they'll be dining like kings (king snakes!) for weeks!

[Gail Simone]

On the other hand, I'm having dinner with Kurt this weekend, so I can LEARN HIS EVIL SECRETS!

Gail

[taintedlunch]

Gail, Gail, Gail...

Superman's weaknesses are Kryptonite, Magic and as a newspaper writer... Bad Medieval Grammar.

Advantage: Thor


though I think Beta Ray Bill would really whup Supes...

My Daddy says nobody can beat up Superman. I think it was actually taught as part of the school curriculum in the 40s and 50s.

But now I'm thinking that Green Lantern is the greatest. Or maybe I've just gleaned that from Geoff Johns writing :confused:

[Expletive Deleted]

On the other hand, I'm having dinner with Kurt this weekend, so I can LEARN HIS EVIL SECRETS!Having dinner . . .

WATCHOUTMR.BUSIEKSHE'SGOINGTOEATYOURSOOOOOOOOOOOOO UL!

[Kurt Busiek]

On the other hand, I'm having dinner with Kurt this weekend, so I can LEARN HIS EVIL SECRETS!

One dinner ain't enough, babe.

My evil secrets require years of study.

kdb

[Tommy]

My evil secrets require years of study.
*I must not make a joke about Bendis... I must not make a joke about Bendis...*

It only took one and a half years for Bendis to ruin the Avengers and I doubt you have any secret as evil as that.

*Damn*

[Kyuubi]

One dinner ain't enough, babe.

My evil secrets require years of study.

kdb


Would 20 bucks speed it up?

[Dan_Slott]

On the other hand, I'm having dinner with Kurt this weekend, so I can LEARN HIS EVIL SECRETS!

Gail

...nobody's havin' dinner wit' me. *sniff* Always knew it. You like Kurt more. Gonna cry inta m' pillow now...

[Michael P]

Having dinner . . .

WATCHOUTMR.BUSIEKSHE'SGOINGTOEATYOURSOOOOOOOOOOOOO UL!
Or shoot him. I hear she does that sometimes.

[LibrarianThorne]

They team up, beat the snakes, take over Latveria, and while they're at it they get Joey Q and make the Other make sense.

All in a day's work for Slott & Busiek!

[twilight]

Alan Moore interferes and chokeslams the both of 'em.

Chokeslams them from across the room with his magic powers.

[matterconsumer]

On the other hand, I'm having dinner with Kurt this weekend, so I can LEARN HIS EVIL SECRETS!

Gail

Everything goes bloodier with Conan...

[Gail Simone]

...nobody's havin' dinner wit' me. *sniff* Always knew it. You like Kurt more. Gonna cry inta m' pillow now...

That's because you never pick up a check!

Gail

[Night Swordsman]

And the thought of stinky ol' THOR beating Superman is too crazy to contemplate.

Gail
HEY! If there is ONE person who could beat Supes from Marvel,it would be Thor.

That said..the outcome is obvious. The snakes,upset by the happyfeely craze currently going on comics,spits poison venom at both Kurt and Dan and which stuns they,while they are slowly eaten alive...whole. Did i mention slowly..as in panel per panel.

And to paraphrase Sam Neil in Jurassic Park: "...the point is,your ALIVE when they start to eat you.."

muahahahah.

[stealthwise]

...nobody's havin' dinner wit' me. *sniff* Always knew it. You like Kurt more. Gonna cry inta m' pillow now...

Well, you can always buy me dinner. But dinner only gets you a friendly handshake, don't get FRESH!

[Bored at 3:00AM]

This is a tough one....

Whose being trained by Appollo Creed?

[Gail Simone]

I heard Dan Slott has bulletproof underoos. I'm not sure how that will affect the battle, but it's interesting.

Gail

[Karl J. Barnes]

I heard Dan Slott has bulletproof underoos. I'm not sure how that will affect the battle, but it's interesting.

Gail

He must have stolen Iron Man's shorts....

[El Santo]

...nobody's havin' dinner wit' me. *sniff* Always knew it. You like Kurt more. Gonna cry inta m' pillow now...

You never made the Mighty Thor punk out to Superman, so I like you better. :D

[Sabrinaset]

It really comes down to training. That and the fact that Dan has the GLA on his side, while Kurt has Alex Ross.

But I think I'll give the nod to Dan because he's nice to me, while Kurt threatens to send the Crime Syndicate of Amerika after me when I even think of asking him a question.

[matterconsumer]

I heard Dan Slott has bulletproof underoos. I'm not sure how that will affect the battle, but it's interesting.

Gail

Show me yours, show me mine. Comic creators reveal all.

Who says Bendis isn't everywhere?

[Cam63]

I heard Dan Slott has bulletproof underoos. I'm not sure how that will affect the battle, but it's interesting.

Gail

Try 7.62 mm ammunition.

[Gail Simone]

The only problem with the Thor/Superman battle is that it didn't end in ten seconds with Thor crying like a little weenie.

And Wonder Woman trounces Storm in four seconds and still has time to do her nails.

Gail

[stealthwise]

The only problem with the Thor/Superman battle is that it didn't end in ten seconds with Thor crying like a little weenie.

And Wonder Woman trounces Storm in four seconds and still has time to do her nails.

Gail

And yet Wolverine somehow beat the invincible, self-cloning, Santa-killing Lobo.

Why didn't they just have Deputy Dog beat Underdog and toss all sense to the freakin' wind?

[Night Swordsman]

And yet Wolverine somehow beat the invincible, self-cloning, Santa-killing Lobo.

Why didn't they just have Deputy Dog beat Underdog and toss all sense to the freakin' wind?

Because then the world would be under control of GAIL

And that would be bad. Remember who sicc'ed the snakes on these two in the FIRST place.

[El Santo]

Wonder Woman could definitely take Storm. But Storm isn't an Avenger.


Thor, on the other hand, could wreck Superman with one hand tied behind his back, while falling-down drunk.

[Michael P]

Because then the world would be under control of GAIL
Genocidal Application Inimical to Life?

[Tennoarashi]

And Wonder Woman trounces Storm in four seconds and still has time to do her nails.

GailNooo~~~~. They'd realize that the fight is useless and instead co-operate to take over both Marvel and DC. And they usher in an era of peace and sexual equality!

And everyone stops reading. Except me. And maybe my sister.

[Cam63]

The only problem with the Thor/Superman battle is that it didn't end in ten seconds with Thor crying like a little weenie.

And Wonder Woman trounces Storm in four seconds and still has time to do her nails.

Gail

Thor wouldn't cry like a little weenie, but Supes should account for him with his superior speed and all.

As for Storm, Diana would also have time to shop for shoes.

[Tommy]

As for Storm, Diana would also have time to shop for shoes.
That one was decided by the fans. And as we all know fans are idiots.

[Cam63]

I blame the beer.

[WhiteRose]

I blame the beer.

I blame the American beer. Because you can blame anything from silly college stunts to to epic battles between exotic women on American beer.