I've Had Sex...

[Tommy]

Twice.

And both times were really bad.

[Karl J. Barnes]

Twice.

And both times were really bad.

You're suppose to take the plastic off first....

[Cam63]

Better luck third time around. :)

[Draconomicon]

Bind the sheep down next time!

Thats what I do...

[Forsaken_One]

Perhaps cunnilingus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cunnilingus#Cunnilingus) would help? :)

Also a partner helps.

[Dennis]

what was bad about it? were your partners bad? or is sex just bad?

[Lester C.]

You're suppose to take the plastic off first....

That’s a good way to get someone pregnant.

[Jeff Brady]

That’s a good way to get someone pregnant.

I don't think that'll be a problem in Emma's case.

Whether you're pitching or catching, the answer is lube.

[Kyuubi]

Third time's a charm.



I'm guessing.

[bert]

Twice.

And both times were really bad.


hmmm. . .

that's a shame.

good sex is quite fun :)

just keep trying, and eventually, you'll find someone who "does it" for you. (I'm so glad that my partner is a good kisser. . my ex wasn't, and boy did that make the sex miserable)

just always play safe, please? lord knows there are still LOTS of terrible things out there floating around on other peoples penises -- not to mention pubes.

[Jeff Brady]

just always play safe, please? lord knows there are still LOTS of terrible things out there floating around on other peoples penises -- not to mention pubes.

Can't say that enough. If you have any questions, Emma, 4thPip is the best person to ask.

[Noah Johnson]

Were you really into the person or persons you had sex with? Or was it out of a sense of obligation?

Also, how aware are you of what, physically, gets you off? Have you done research?

[Tommy]

A little on the graphic side…

So I lost my virginity when I was 21. The primary reason for when I lost it was that I just was sick of being a virgin and everyone talking about sex and how great it was. So I found someone on the internet who was a relatively nice guy, if more than slightly older than I was. So he came over and we wound up getting a low rent hotel room and cuddling while watching VH1. This led to me receiving a really rather dull blowjob. (I was recovering from having my wisdom teeth pulled so there was no way I was going to be doing any sort of oral sex). Which lead to the sex…

Now the first issue was that I am rather tall (as in six foot three) and he was rather short (as in five foot three). So he was bent over the bed while I attempted to lower myself enough to get a good angle. So my legs were about as far apart as I humanly could get them all while attempting to thrust. Now the next issue was that the guy I was doing it with was certainly not a virgin. There was no sensation. It was like putting your penis in a coffee tin. On top of that we never turned off the TV so VH1 was playing a show about Cheesy TV celebrities the entire time. The show was far more entertaining than the sex. Plus the entire time he starts going “Ohh yeah… ohh fuck me fuck me.” I was trying so hard (and unsuccessfully) not to laugh at that.

So eventually my groin could not take the strain so I leaned back and pulled him up. We continued like that for a short while until I was like “Okay… this is just not happening for me.” At which point I got him off with a hand job and then we kind of left in a rather awkward silence.

MORE SEX STORIES TO COME!

[Noah Johnson]

Wow. That is some lame sex, you ain't lying.

You're aware it's not always like that, right? For one thing, contemporary American gay culture is sometimes a little too into the NSA casual sex. Which, yeah, can be great, though it's not my thing, but I don't think it's the best way to cash in your V-card.

What you want is some nice fellow, preferably a bit more experienced than you but not with an ass like a wind tunnel, who you can really spend time with, exploring and learning from each other, figuring out what works and what doesn't. Also, he should be more your own size if possible.

Heck, when my girlfriend advertised online for some guy to come relieve her of her virginity and then piss off, she got me. That'll be five years ago next May.

[PatrickG]

Wow.

Well, at least I'm not the WORST off person in the world. Being afraid of the opposite sex has its advantages for this heterosexual male.

[Gail Simone]

Emma,

I'm sorry your first two experiences weren't what you might have hoped, but it's almost certainly going to get better, so I hope you'll keep an open mind and heart.

Gail

[Spike-X]

A little on the graphic side…

So I lost my virginity when I was 21. The primary reason for when I lost it was that I just was sick of being a virgin and everyone talking about sex and how great it was. So I found someone on the internet who was a relatively nice guy, if more than slightly older than I was. So he came over and we wound up getting a low rent hotel room and cuddling while watching VH1. This led to me receiving a really rather dull blowjob. (I was recovering from having my wisdom teeth pulled so there was no way I was going to be doing any sort of oral sex). Which lead to the sex…

Now the first issue was that I am rather tall (as in six foot three) and he was rather short (as in five foot three). So he was bent over the bed while I attempted to lower myself enough to get a good angle. So my legs were about as far apart as I humanly could get them all while attempting to thrust. Now the next issue was that the guy I was doing it with was certainly not a virgin. There was no sensation. It was like putting your penis in a coffee tin. On top of that we never turned off the TV so VH1 was playing a show about Cheesy TV celebrities the entire time. The show was far more entertaining than the sex. Plus the entire time he starts going “Ohh yeah… ohh fuck me fuck me.” I was trying so hard (and unsuccessfully) not to laugh at that.

So eventually my groin could not take the strain so I leaned back and pulled him up. We continued like that for a short while until I was like “Okay… this is just not happening for me.” At which point I got him off with a hand job and then we kind of left in a rather awkward silence.

MORE SEX STORIES TO COME!
Well, look on the bright side.

It can only get better from here.

[stealthwise]

Don't worry, my first fift.... er, couple of times weren't very good either.

If you have a loving partner who's willing to listen, hell, even just a guy who's been around and willing to work for you, you'll have a better time.

[Fabian]

Have you tried women? Some of the best sex has been had with women

[Melissa]

Most of us had 'ordinary' experiences the first time. It will get better.

and worse.

Some will be good, some will be bad, some will know what they're doing, some won't, some will be loving and tender, some will flee the moment they've come, it's gonna be a mixed bag, which is all part of why it's an adventure.

I look back at myself where you are and fondly envy your adventures yet to come.

[PatrickG]

Most of us had 'ordinary' experiences the first time. It will get better.

and worse.

Some will be good, some will be bad, some will know what they're doing, some won't, some will be loving and tender, some will flee the moment they've come, it's gonna be a mixed bag, which is all part of why it's an adventure.

I look back at myself where you are and fondly envy your adventures yet to come.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

[Melissa]

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

That's from a song, isn't it?

[Weetomuncher]

The truth is...

I'm a virgin.

I'm 25 and I've just never met someone who seemed... right.

I'm not in a desperate rush but hopefully I'll find a nice girl sometime.

[the4thpip]

The truth is...

I'm a virgin.

I'm 25 and I've just never met someone who seemed... right.

I'm not in a desperate rush but hopefully I'll find a nice girl sometime.
Have you tried men? Some of the best sex has been had with men

[Weetomuncher]

I'm waiting for Christina Aguliera's divorce to come through...

really!

[Trystenn]

A little on the graphic side…

So I lost my virginity when I was 21. The primary reason for when I lost it was that I just was sick of being a virgin and everyone talking about sex and how great it was. So I found someone on the internet who was a relatively nice guy, if more than slightly older than I was. So he came over and we wound up getting a low rent hotel room and cuddling while watching VH1. This led to me receiving a really rather dull blowjob. (I was recovering from having my wisdom teeth pulled so there was no way I was going to be doing any sort of oral sex). Which lead to the sex…

Now the first issue was that I am rather tall (as in six foot three) and he was rather short (as in five foot three). So he was bent over the bed while I attempted to lower myself enough to get a good angle. So my legs were about as far apart as I humanly could get them all while attempting to thrust. Now the next issue was that the guy I was doing it with was certainly not a virgin. There was no sensation. It was like putting your penis in a coffee tin. On top of that we never turned off the TV so VH1 was playing a show about Cheesy TV celebrities the entire time. The show was far more entertaining than the sex. Plus the entire time he starts going “Ohh yeah… ohh fuck me fuck me.” I was trying so hard (and unsuccessfully) not to laugh at that.

So eventually my groin could not take the strain so I leaned back and pulled him up. We continued like that for a short while until I was like “Okay… this is just not happening for me.” At which point I got him off with a hand job and then we kind of left in a rather awkward silence.

MORE SEX STORIES TO COME!
I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!
YOU REALLY DID DO IT BEFORE!!!

[Bored at 3:00AM]

It took me several mediocre sexual experiences to get even half-way decent in the sack, and this is generally the way it works for most people.

Just keep looking for someone whose company you genuinely enjoy, be willing to both give and recieve, communicate clearly what you enjoy and what you don't and try to relax. In the grand scheme of things, its not really that big a deal.

[YoungG03]

Shit; be ha[[y you got some.......Im 25 and growing

[The Mirrorball Man]

Generally speaking, I think that CBR really is the best place to get tips about sexuality. At least when startrek.com is down.

[Lubichev]

:D :D :D
Mirrorball, you've made my day and its barely started.

Sex is like any skill. The more you practice, the better you'll be and the better it gets.

And pornography is a great place to "learn" some pointers too.

Or get yourself a skilled prostitute or a stripper. An eightball will get you any stripper (until the eightball runs out, of course).

[The Xenos]

All I can say is that it can get pretty messed up when two bipolar or at least depressed people sleep together. When you get depressed and disgusted with yoruself over your urges then she asks you if she disgusts you... like an ouroboros of low self esteem.. yeah.. not quite the best sex life here.

Acutally, i shouldn't say it was all bad. At first we were quite happy and quite passionate. Dind't really do that much I guessm but it was quite passionate. At the same time I think underlying insecurties about ourselves eventually won out and soured a beautiful night.

Also, , just because you give up on women, doesn't mean you're gonna switch to guys. I myself am thiking more along the lines of becoming a celibate hermit or eunich. Heh. *sigh*

Gosh dammit. Been like three damn years and I'm still waking up snuglglling up to a pillow thinking of her.

-Xenos

[Lester C.]

Good sex is like any other skill some may have more initial aptitude than others but with repeated practice anyone can become example proficient at it. Plus you are a guy which is an extreme plus. I read somewhere that most women don’t orgasm during sexual intercourse which is generally not a problem for a guy. Without getting too graphic it doesn’t take much stimulation of your male member to feel extreme pleasure.

A second advantage you have is the fact that you are gay. If gay men are anything like their heterosexual counterparts than you should have no problem finding a willing partner you are compatible with. Now that I think about it must be easy being gay and getting someone in bed. You guys probably don’t have to go though the whole ceremony women put men through before we finally get what we want. Again this is assuming that gay men are like their heterosexual counterparts in their need to have their never-ending sexual desire satisfied.

I can’t believe no one else has said this so I’m going to. Emma what the hell are you thinking? You met some guy online and went off to an undisclosed location with him. That strikes me as very dangerous and a good way to get yourself killed.

[Phoney Bone]

Most of us had 'ordinary' experiences the first time. It will get better.

and worse.

Some will be good, some will be bad, some will know what they're doing, some won't, some will be loving and tender, some will flee the moment they've come, it's gonna be a mixed bag, which is all part of why it's an adventure.

I look back at myself where you are and fondly envy your adventures yet to come.



Seconded.

And remember, it's just like riding a bike. Don't forget the kneepads.

[the4thpip]

And pornography is a great place to "learn" some pointers too.


Maybe bad pornography. I mean, if you look at skilled pros in good porn and try to do what they do as a beginner, aren't you just setting yourself up for a fall?

[Lester C.]

Pornography is a scripted choreographed dance under the gaze and direction of a director. Real sex is more akin to a fight. You have two independent minds going at it toe to toe blow to blow each with their own mental version with how the fight should go so that synchronization found in adult videos is hard to produce on your first coupling. Again practice makes perfect.

[Dennis]

i kinda question if ability is the answer to good sex. because vaginas aren't all that! meaning, they don't feel as awesome as everyone says they are. oral sex can be quite good tho. it can also be quite bad. i believe there are a lot of gay guys who just aren't into anal sex.

[SoulOnIce]

Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be the most popular thread ever?

[Lester C.]

Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be the most popular thread ever?

You would know. Your thread, and you know the one I’m talking about, is well over a hundred pages by now.

[Dennis]

there's "disappointing" sex, then there's "God this is so stupid!" sex. and what kind of ability does one need to have to enjoy sex. it's In-Out-In-Out. what if you think In-Out is stupid?

[JeffreyWKramer]

Twice.

And both times were really bad.

Sorry to hear that.

It can be very good, I assure you.

[roguespirit]

Sex with someone you actually like and care about is fairly good because even if you don't know what your doing, you can laugh together and find a way to work it out.

I don't know what else to say I've had sex that wasn't brilliant but I've never had bad sex. In fact my first time was fantastic if a little traumatising.

[Spackling Compound]

Now the first issue was that I am rather tall (as in six foot three) and he was rather short (as in five foot three). So he was bent over the bed while I attempted to lower myself enough to get a good angle. So my legs were about as far apart as I humanly could get them all while attempting to thrust. Now the next issue was that the guy I was doing it with was certainly not a virgin. There was no sensation. It was like putting your penis in a coffee tin. On top of that we never turned off the TV so VH1 was playing a show about Cheesy TV celebrities the entire time. The show was far more entertaining than the sex. Plus the entire time he starts going “Ohh yeah… ohh fuck me fuck me.” I was trying so hard (and unsuccessfully) not to laugh at that.

So eventually my groin could not take the strain so I leaned back and pulled him up. We continued like that for a short while until I was like “Okay… this is just not happening for me.” At which point I got him off with a hand job and then we kind of left in a rather awkward silence.


Yeah...that was disturbing. 5'3" you say?
Hrmmm....
http://www.carter-stephenson.co.uk/lestat/lestat4.jpg

[Pixies Chick]

Sex with someone you actually like and care about is fairly good because even if you don't know what your doing, you can laugh together and find a way to work it out.

I don't know what else to say I've had sex that wasn't brilliant but I've never had bad sex. In fact my first time was fantastic if a little traumatising.

Ditto. Maybe think of it this way -- if sex is the fun thing that you hope to share with this person you like being with, it's not a downer, even if there's an unfortunate technical difficulty because the company's good. When you can relax with someone, it's easier to feel sexy. It kinda sounds like you'd have had a bad time in these encounters whatever you were doing because I don't think you liked being with them.

Give yourself, and sex, a break. Figure out what you want when you're with a person, and then it'll be easier to get it, especially if you and the person you're with have a genuine desire to please each other, and not just sexually.

[Lubichev]

Maybe bad pornography. I mean, if you look at skilled pros in good porn and try to do what they do as a beginner, aren't you just setting yourself up for a fall?
Or creating some very funny, "What the hell do you think you are doing down there?" moments.
"Um, pleasuring you? I saw this in Anal Munchers 14 and thought it would be fun."

[stealthwise]

Maybe bad pornography. I mean, if you look at skilled pros in good porn and try to do what they do as a beginner, aren't you just setting yourself up for a fall?

Pornography is a horrible way to look at how sex works. Not only is it completely scripted in terms of action, but response as well. Most of the stuff that you'd see in a lot of porno movies won't work in real life, at least, not with probably 90% of the people out there.

[YoGo]

Yeah, somehow I don't think women like being screwed and talked to like they're starring in "Sluts of Prey Gone Wild Vol. 1".

Maybe if they are that kind of person and the mood strikes them and the stars and the planets align themselves into a phallus....but it's unlikely that's what you want to make your first or first few times about.

[Tommy]

All right so I kind of have to back track a little for second time I had sex. I was once more online when I got IMed by this guy named Cory. Now Cory swore up and down he was heterosexual, but wanted to come over.

So he did and we wound up fooling around on my bed. Now this was actually really fun. Normally I start getting bored with whatever I happen to be doing since it is so repetitive but this time I was really into it.

So we wind up getting to the point where I have like four fingers inside him. I pull them out and get out a condom put it on and get about ready for some sex when he turns around and says “Can we not do that?” I was like “all right.” Since I am a nice guy.

Fast foreword two months at home and three months working at a Christian camp at the end of which my libido was in overdrive. I was once more looking for some good sex. So I IMed Cory again.

So Cory came over and hung out for a bit until we once more started fooling around on my bed. I blame the problems on myself that night. I think I was a little overly eager. Anyways I certainly did not put in the prep work I did the previous night, and I don’t think I used enough lube.

But anyways I got the condom on and tried to penetrate. Now the problem being that it is a very small target at a weird angle. So I spent like ten minutes trying to get everything lined up. It would go up or over to the side or down. But finally I got it all lined up and at that point I was so relived that I kinda just thrust in. Well with in like thirty seconds of the sex starting he was like “Oww that hurts.” So I had to pull out and then I got him off. And then we had the awkward silence that follows bad sex. And he left.


MORE SEX STORIES TO COME!

[YoGo]

Since no one has mentioned it yet, I'm just going to say I find it almost delightfully ironic that Emma Frost of all people is having bad sex.

[Weetomuncher]

I'm just writing it down...

[Tommy]

Since no one has mentioned it yet, I'm just going to say I find it almost delightfully ironic that Emma Frost of all people is having bad sex.
Yes, that is pretty Ironic.

[Weetomuncher]

If you were the OTHER Emma Frost, I'd be interested but I'm afraid not because you've got a winky.

[Weetomuncher]

I banged YoGo six times...

On the 'Shoot Me' thread.

[Draconomicon]

TEXT

Damn :(
You sound like a nice guy, who just had some bad luck.
Its like the first time you try something new. It can be really good, or it can somehow be messed up. But do not give up yet! You only started yet and with expirience it will get better.

[Spackling Compound]

Since no one has mentioned it yet, I'm just going to say I find it almost delightfully ironic that Emma Frost of all people is having bad sex.
And Emma's a dude, too.
Not Ironic but definitely disconcerting for the gay challenged.

[Lester C.]

Emma stop meeting people on the fucking internet. You understand that gay people in the past and sadly in the future have been lured out and beaten to death among other things. Let me introduce you to the concept of a singles or in your case gay bar. It’s a public place filled with lonely desperate people that want to engage in noncommittal sex. It’s not a place to meet someone if your interested in a relationship but I don’t think that’s what you are looking for.

[taintedlunch]

Twice.

And both times were really bad.

That kind of thing is to be expected when one has sex and it is not with me or a person that I have trained. Please try to avoid this in the future.

[Weetomuncher]

I certainly wouldn't say that meeting people, especially men that you don't know at all for sexual meetings is a good idea.

A) You could be attacked.

B) AIDS. You don't know the sexual history of the person you're meeting.

C) You might hate the guy.

[Lubichev]

4 fingers in a "hetero?"

Mmm hmm.

[taintedlunch]

Yeah, somehow I don't think women like being screwed and talked to like they're starring in "Sluts of Prey Gone Wild Vol. 1".

You would think, but wait til you meet some 30-something divorcees. Whew!

[taintedlunch]

All right so I kind of have to back track a little for second time I had sex. I was once more online when I got IMed by this guy named Cory. Now Cory swore up and down he was heterosexual, but wanted to come over.

So he did and we wound up fooling around on my bed. Now this was actually really fun. Normally I start getting bored with whatever I happen to be doing since it is so repetitive but this time I was really into it.

So we wind up getting to the point where I have like four fingers inside him. I pull them out and get out a condom put it on and get about ready for some sex when he turns around and says “Can we not do that?” I was like “all right.” Since I am a nice guy.

Fast foreword two months at home and three months working at a Christian camp at the end of which my libido was in overdrive. I was once more looking for some good sex. So I IMed Cory again.

So Cory came over and hung out for a bit until we once more started fooling around on my bed. I blame the problems on myself that night. I think I was a little overly eager. Anyways I certainly did not put in the prep work I did the previous night, and I don’t think I used enough lube.

But anyways I got the condom on and tried to penetrate. Now the problem being that it is a very small target at a weird angle. So I spent like ten minutes trying to get everything lined up. It would go up or over to the side or down. But finally I got it all lined up and at that point I was so relived that I kinda just thrust in. Well with in like thirty seconds of the sex starting he was like “Oww that hurts.” So I had to pull out and then I got him off. And then we had the awkward silence that follows bad sex. And he left.


MORE SEX STORIES TO COME!

Sweet Lord, that was WAY too much info! Besides, if you tell it all here, whatever will you put in your memoir??

[taintedlunch]

Have you tried men? Some of the best sex has been had with men

Pourquoi??

[Tommy]

Sweet Lord, that was WAY too much info! Besides, if you tell it all here, whatever will you put in your memoir??
Oh there is still plenty of stuff left to put in the memoir...

[Lester C.]

Pourquoi??

Ithink you mean porque.

[Tommy]

All right since everyone is so curious about my sex life (or rather I am just putting lots of information out there about it) here is my dating history it kind of explains a lot.

The first date I went on was with a guy named Chris who happened to be a cop. It was a set up by one of our mutual friends. We wound up watching movies at his house and he fell asleep on my arm (which hurt I might tell you). A really good time was had by all. Then a few days later he told me that I reminded him of his brother and we couldn’t date.

After that was Nick who spent the entire evening talking about his former boyfriend.

Then there was a guy whose name I sadly can’t remember. But he was my first kiss. He asked me out basically out of nowhere. We wound up watching episodes of Married With Children and he turned to me and was like “Hey want to make out?” I was like “Okay.” And so we did. He was a good kisser. He wound up coping a feel off me and asked if I wanted a blow job. I told him no it was too soon for me and we made plans for later. The next day he told me he was back with his ex-boyfriend.

Then came several guys who I can’t really remember except for Dale who just vanished after our first date. And some architect who I thought was utterly dull. And a guy who kept talking about how hot Missy Elliot was.

Somewhere along here I realized that no matter if the date was absolutely wonderful it would not result in a second date. I had gone out with like ten guys on first dates and half of them screwed me over in some way, but defiantly no second dates. So I just rather gave up on whole trying to find the right guy and all that noise and just take each date and go where ever it takes me.

And I have since found that it mostly takes you to disappointment.

I actually rarely get in a “random sex mood” it happens about twice a year and I immediately realize why afterwards.

But more sexy stories to come..

[shrike]

Trust me when I say there are a LOT of bad lays out there.

Keep on truckin', dear, your prince is out there somewhere... just remember to play SAFE.

[Bloopinator]

...I'm not sure I should be reading this thread.

[ElvisGuy]

Gail is SO gonna come back and read this thread and go "I can never leave these kids alone !!" Ive noticed whenever Gail goes on a vacation we all get surly around here LOL !

[taintedlunch]

Ithink you mean porque.

No that's French for "why".

[shrike]

no no no... we are talking about PORKING here.

duh!

[taintedlunch]

Ooohhh! Duh!

[titanfan]

Emma, how old are you? Your dates sound like a lot of mine when I was in my early 20's, but as I started getting older and dating older guys, I found things starting to get a bit more "normal".

[K'Nort]

It's not entirely age. Of the poster or of the partners. Pretty much everyone finds the first few experiences do not meet what they've been led to expect. And that's regardless of orientation too.

[PatrickG]

Ooh. Confessional time.

My first kiss was a stage kiss. I caught mono from it.

[Jade_GL]

My first few times were nothing that great. In fact, for the most part, they were uncomfortable. Movies and fiction, in general, seem to paint sex as something miraculous and amazing. Yeah, it can be, but when two people are just doing it for the first time, it's rarely going to be. At least that was my experience.

Really, good sex comes with practice. You have to know what you like and find someone who is a good match.

I will not go into any more detail than that. :)

[shrike]

Very true.

Anyone who expects Cinemax Sex (tm) will be disappointed horribly.

I prefer to just make a big joke out of sex, but then again I find humor terribly sexy to being with.

[Noah Johnson]

An instructive example, and the tale of the day I cashed in my V-card.

I was 18, and met a likely lass on the internet, where I've met a majority of my girlfriends over the years. And I meet her, and we screw, as one does. Now, I'd done research on what exactly one does when attempting to pleasure a lady; I knew where the clitoris was, how the G-spot worked, various things not to do with her nipples, etc. What I wasn't expecting is that I was unable to come. Took me weeks of practice with an actual vagina before I could retrain my equipment to respond to it.

You see, and this is the moral of the story, I'd been wanking myself stupid for years, as one does when one is a teenage boy, and my nervous system was conditioned to respond to certain forms of stimulus, particularly to the glans, that simply weren't available in a pussy.

Thus the secret of sex: pay attention. Pay attention to what works on your body, and pay attention to what works on other people's bodies. When you know, or can guess accurately, what will work in a given situation, do it. In the meantime, try different stuff, but if you're not paying attention, you won't learn.

[YoGo]

I don't think your dating experiences are THAT different compared to other singles out there. Maybe stop looking for sex on the internet and look for an ongoing relationship or even someone to just date for that matter. At least then you'll have a partner who won't give u that awkward silence and walk out (if they're worth anything as a companion) after bad sex. Inf act it might be bad sex, but at least u can laugh about it afterwards and work on it.

I feel like Dr Ruth.

[Jade_GL]

I don't think your dating experiences are THAT different compared to other singles out there. Maybe stop looking for sex on the internet and look for an ongoing relationship or even someone to just date for that matter. At least then you'll have a partner who won't give u that awkward silence and walk out (if they're worth anything as a companion) after bad sex. Inf act it might be bad sex, but at least u can laugh about it afterwards and work on it.

I feel like Dr Ruth.

I agree. I was with my BF for a year before we had sex. And we both were comfortable enough with each other to laugh about the bad stuff and weird stuff and try again.

It's nice when you can kind of giggle and goof about a whacked out position, noise, or facial expression. :D

[YoGo]

Or falling off the bed. Falling off is always funny.

[K'Nort]

Or falling off the bed. Falling off is always funny.

That's true. At least, the one time it happened to me, we found it hilarious. Thank goodness.

[YoGo]

You know what isn't funny?

Screaming out the wrong name.

At least it's not so bad when you do it purposely to piss ur gf off...hee hee....(oh and she can take the joke. I wouldn't recommend this for someone without a good sense of humour)

Oh..oohh yes! yes!...oh..ahh..Ku...Kurt...KURT....KURT BUSIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK......aaaaahhhh...ah... oh...urrhh...

(And then he actually appeared at my window. No shit, true story.)

[shrike]

You know, while I applaud the amount of candor that is being expressed at these stories, on the other hand is making me feel the I've entered the land of TMI.

[Noah Johnson]

You know, while I applaud the amount of candor that is being expressed at these stories, on the other hand is making me feel the I've entered the land of TMI.
Sorry. I live here, and I forget that the customs of our land seem strange to outlanders. Here, sit down, have some jello. It's made of hooves cut from dead horses, you know.

[palaeomerus]

That's from a song, isn't it?

I'm betting Andy Partridge. Or maybe Barenaked Ladies? Smashmouth?

[YoGo]

It's the Sunscreen Song!

http://www.bondon.com/sunscreen_song.html

[K'Nort]

Sorry. I live here, and I forget that the customs of our land seem strange to outlanders. Here, sit down, have some jello. It's made of hooves cut from dead horses, you know.

I was talking to a college student the other day who didn't know that. I remember learning it in elementary school. It was a pretty dramatic piece of info. Esp considering how much Jell-O you eat at that age.

[taintedlunch]

Movies and fiction, in general, seem to paint sex as something miraculous and amazing. Yeah, it can be, but when two people are just doing it for the first time, it's rarely going to be. At least that was my experience.

Really, good sex comes with practice. You have to know what you like and find someone who is a good match.

Reverse cowgirl is not as cool as you'd think, and it has the potential for injury.

Plus, never date strippers.

[palaeomerus]

Jello is made from the hooves and horns of cattle, pigs, goats, and sheep by the way. Rarely from horsies. (If you've never had pig horns then you are missing the best part).

[The Beast Of Yucca Flats]

An instructive example, and the tale of the day I cashed in my V-card.

I was 18, and met a likely lass on the internet, where I've met a majority of my girlfriends over the years. And I meet her, and we screw, as one does. Now, I'd done research on what exactly one does when attempting to pleasure a lady; I knew where the clitoris was, how the G-spot worked, various things not to do with her nipples, etc. What I wasn't expecting is that I was unable to come. Took me weeks of practice with an actual vagina before I could retrain my equipment to respond to it.

You see, and this is the moral of the story, I'd been wanking myself stupid for years, as one does when one is a teenage boy, and my nervous system was conditioned to respond to certain forms of stimulus, particularly to the glans, that simply weren't available in a pussy.

Thus the secret of sex: pay attention. Pay attention to what works on your body, and pay attention to what works on other people's bodies. When you know, or can guess accurately, what will work in a given situation, do it. In the meantime, try different stuff, but if you're not paying attention, you won't learn.

Pretty good advice, Noah. It's definitely something to keep in mind (speaking as a 23-year old virgin).

[Crowley]

the problem men have with sex is confidence.

it's hard to be confident when you haven't done something yet... so I think the best advice i could give is to be confident in who you are as a person.

I'm no stud, by any means... I have to work hard at making dates and the occassional relationship work, but what I've learned so far:

Don't
-lie
-be wimpy or whiny or needy or a pushover
-be arrogant
-think about sex, a future with her
-talk about things pertaining solely to yourself (your job, that thing that happened one time at this party, your family)
-stare at other women or stare at her other parts

Do
-REALLY LISTEN
-be truthful
-be bold, honest and sensitive
-be confident and attentive
-ask about her interests, find common ground
-be brief in statements... leave a little mystery
-make her laugh, but not purposely
-be pasionate when taking about your own interests
-make eye contact


Two other tips
-if your going to look at a woman be subtle, think Bond. It's a cool quick stealthy glance. Staring is creepy.
-if you get nervous while talking... pause. If it's before and date your nervous think of the Bond theme in your head or another theme that makes you feel cool.

the sex part is complicated... but when it comes it'd be a good fun time just don't get too stressed.

[shrike]

Plus, never date strippers.

I have an ex that now does mainstream porn (like in the way you can go to your local video store and get a movie by the person, and NO, I'm not name dropping, honestly the whole thing is more than a bit embarrassing), but originally was a stripper.

I don't know what _your_ experience was, but just because someone Dances For Dollars does not qualify them for Great Lay Of The Year, or the GLotY, as I like to call it.

[YoGo]

Do thye still use animal gelatin from the hooves and horns still to make jello? Mostly over here they use seaweed to make agar and gelatin leaves, though some animal originated gelatin is still used.

[Lester C.]

the problem men have with sex is confidence.

it's hard to be confident when you haven't done something yet... so I think the best advice i could give is to be confident in who you are as a person.

I'm no stud, by any means... I have to work hard at making dates and the occassional relationship work, but what I've learned so far:

Don't
-lie
-be wimpy or whiny or needy or a pushover
-be arrogant
-think about sex, a future with her
-talk about things pertaining solely to yourself (your job, that thing that happened one time at this party, your family)
-stare at other women or stare at her other parts

Do
-REALLY LISTEN
-be truthful
-be bold, honest and sensitive
-be confident and attentive
-ask about her interests, find common ground
-be brief in statements... leave a little mystery
-make her laugh, but not purposely
-be pasionate when taking about your own interests
-make eye contact


Two other tips
-if your going to look at a woman be subtle, think Bond. It's a cool quick stealthy glance. Staring is creepy.
-if you get nervous while talking... pause. If it's before and date your nervous think of the Bond theme in your head or another theme that makes you feel cool.

the sex part is complicated... but when it comes it'd be a good fun time just don't get too stressed.

Emma switch the majority of Crowley’s do and don’t columns and you’ll be all right.

[Spackling Compound]

Emma switch the majority of Crowley’s do and don’t columns and you’ll be all right.
Bwahahahahaha!

[SUPERECWFAN1]

The SuperE " Pitchin Woo" tips.


Do stroke his ego: Ok not all men will be Kevin Costner,Vin Diesel or Mathew M ( EdTV , Sahara star) . A man wants to hear his woman at least say he looks good. As men we love havin our ego stretched good. If we say you ladies look good 20 times a day , we'd like to hear it to.


Do Not complain: Ok usually when this happens us men set up the buffer zone. Its us noddin and agreeing. Secretly were pretty much saying " Ok if I can get us on the same page , its a step closer to more sex."

Also this buffer zone works when meeting your parents. By this time its a great act and with head noddin we add the lines: " Yes Ma'am , Yes Sir , and I really respect your daughter's feelings."


Do Not let us Admit we screwed up: Ok 9 outta 10 times were gonna mess something up. Thats our nature. But as the loyal woman like June Carter Cash ( Walk the Line) you pretty much accept the screw ups. Don't even say we did it. Because you'd hate to get somethin started in bed and have us stop mid action and ask: " Are you blaming me for screwing up your computer ?"

Do Massage our ego: Ok say you really didn't have an excellant bed romp. Please for all that is holy , don't tell us. Because to a man this is like the KISS of DEATH. You'll just make more problems.

Us men want to believe were Conan , John Holmes and Elvis all rolled into one bed wise. Once ya shatter that it screws with us. The image is 99% of us being STUDS in bed. You'd hate to be a man and have a girl say: " Honey you really need work there."

So lie to us. Admit were studs. Thats how it works. Now if ya have a Divorce and your angry...or have a bad breakup then say it. But for all that is holy...lie and do the nod thing that you had an awesome night in the sack.

Hopefully this helps you. Skipped over a lot in this thread.

[taintedlunch]

I have an ex that now does mainstream porn (like in the way you can go to your local video store and get a movie by the person, and NO, I'm not name dropping, honestly the whole thing is more than a bit embarrassing), but originally was a stripper.

I don't know what _your_ experience was, but just because someone Dances For Dollars does not qualify them for Great Lay Of The Year, or the GLotY, as I like to call it.

GLotY! I'ma gonna steal that, if you don't mind.

I went out with a couple of strippers, but never got past the first date. HORRIBLE experiences. (I'll elaborate sometime.)

p.s. They look different in the light.

[Crowley]

Emma switch the majority of Crowley’s do and don’t columns and you’ll be all right.
it was directed at Weetomuncher... not Emma...

but thanks for playing! :D

[Tommy]

So I have only done anything with another comic book fan once. We were making out on my bed and I had just gotten him out of his pants and we doing a little massage foreplay when… boom! Semen everywhere. I was like “I didn’t even have time to take off my shoes yet!”

We would up messing around like three more times and it kept happening. I do not think I ever got a single article of clothing off prior to him prematurely ejaculating.

[Lubichev]

So I have only done anything with another comic book fan once. We were making out on my bed and I had just gotten him out of his pants and we doing a little massage foreplay when… boom! Semen everywhere. I was like “I didn’t even have time to take off my shoes yet!”

We would up messing around like three more times and it kept happening. I do not think I ever got a single article of clothing off prior to him prematurely ejaculating.
You must have serious skills, then.

He should have "unloaded the gun" first.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

So I have only done anything with another comic book fan once. We were making out on my bed and I had just gotten him out of his pants and we doing a little massage foreplay when… boom! Semen everywhere. I was like “I didn’t even have time to take off my shoes yet!”

We would up messing around like three more times and it kept happening. I do not think I ever got a single article of clothing off prior to him prematurely ejaculating.


Appears he was: Cocked, Rocked and Ready to UnLoad! ;)

[Lester C.]

So I have only done anything with another comic book fan once. We were making out on my bed and I had just gotten him out of his pants and we doing a little massage foreplay when… boom! Semen everywhere. I was like “I didn’t even have time to take off my shoes yet!”

We would up messing around like three more times and it kept happening. I do not think I ever got a single article of clothing off prior to him prematurely ejaculating.

I hope that you did not dispose of all the excess semen and let it go to waste. Yogo once led a discussion about the nutritional merits and versatile use that semen has in culinary pursuits. Apparently one can use it as a cooking sauce to prepare food or just intake it directly for its nutritional benefits and no I’m not making this up.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

I hope that you did not dispose of all the excess semen and let it go to waste. Yogo once led a discussion about the nutritional merits and versatile use that semen has in culinary pursuits. Apparently one can use it as a cooking sauce to prepare food or just intake it directly for its nutritional benefits and no I’m not making this up.

Its also good for your hair as we've seen.

[HomerJay]

He should have "unloaded the gun" first.
Agreed. He certainly should have let some air out of the tire first before hitting the road.

Like with anything, the more you do it, the better you get. The first couple times I had sex were fairly pathetic and I didn't quite achieve proficiency until I hit the double digits.
Even now, if I go awhile without some activity, my stamina becomes quite touchy.

[Lester C.]

Its also good for your hair as we've seen.

Oh yea you want to start talking smack. Well at least I didn’t win a Corrie for worst screen name. Let me guess your names stands for super create a wrestler fan 1. What was GobbedlyGookerfan1 taken?

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Oh yea you want to start talking smack. Well at least I didn’t win a Corrie for worst screen name. Let me guess your names stands for super create a wrestler fan 1. What was GobbedlyGookerfan1 taken?

It was jealousy damn it. Everyone wants to name themselves after a great Promotion. Only I could pull it off. And GobbleyGookerfan1 was sadly taken when I registered all those years ago! I coulda been the SuperGooker!!

And thanks for pluggin my.....3 Time....3 Time....3 Time Corrie Award winnin excellance!!

[Lester C.]

It was jealousy damn it. Everyone wants to name themselves after a great Promotion. Only I could pull it off. And GobbleyGookerfan1 was sadly taken when I registered all those years ago! I coulda been the SuperGooker!!

And thanks for pluggin my.....3 Time....3 Time....3 Time Corrie Award winnin excellance!!

Now that we are on wrestling admit it. When you read the title of the thread you heard JR shout in your head. “Stone Gold! Stone Gold! Stone Gold is here.” followed by Austin theme song.

Also admit that when you typed 3 time 3 time part of your sentence you were thinking about the 5 time 5 time WCW champion booker T.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Now that we are on wrestling admit it. When you read the title of the thread you heard JR shout in your head. “Stone Gold! Stone Gold! Stone Gold is here.” followed by Austin theme song.

On this thread your right. I didn't see the name til I posted on it and read. But everytime I see " Stone Gold " I usually picture Jim Ross screamin his name like a maniac . :)

Also admit that when you typed 3 time 3 time part of your sentence you were thinking about the 5 time 5 time WCW champion booker T.

I've blended what Booker T and Owen Hart would do. Owen won 2 Slammy Awards and would go and sell them like pieces of GOLD. He'd always bring up his Slammy's.

And Booker T pretty much would annouce his 5 WCW World Titles a lot. So I used his line. So correct on both counts. :D

[Noah Johnson]

Do Massage our ego: Ok say you really didn't have an excellant bed romp. Please for all that is holy , don't tell us. Because to a man this is like the KISS of DEATH. You'll just make more problems.

Us men want to believe were Conan , John Holmes and Elvis all rolled into one bed wise. Once ya shatter that it screws with us. The image is 99% of us being STUDS in bed. You'd hate to be a man and have a girl say: " Honey you really need work there."

So lie to us. Admit were studs. Thats how it works.
Utterly terrible advice, of course. I'd hate for anyone to accidentally take this seriously.

[TheLyle]

I was talking to a college student the other day who didn't know that. I remember learning it in elementary school. It was a pretty dramatic piece of info. Esp considering how much Jell-O you eat at that age.

If you want to relive that chagrin, try looking up a recipe for making gelatin from scratch.

...or better, I imagine a "from scratch" recipe for veal aspic would be quite stomach turning.

[TheLyle]

Do thye still use animal gelatin from the hooves and horns still to make jello? Mostly over here they use seaweed to make agar and gelatin leaves, though some animal originated gelatin is still used.

Agar has a very different texture from animal-derived gelatin from my experience. I don't think most American pallates would accept agar as a substitude for gelatin.

EDIT: It probably says too much about me that the posts that I can't wait to finish the thread before responding are food posts.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Utterly terrible advice, of course. I'd hate for anyone to accidentally take this seriously.


Not really , a lot of men will say this. One comedian even said nearly these same words. The worse thing ya can do is wound a man's ego bed wise.

[Noah Johnson]

Not really , a lot of men will say this. One comedian even said nearly these same words. The worse thing ya can do is wound a man's ego bed wise.
Um, no. The worst thing you can do is suffer through weeks, months and years of godawful sex because the guy you're with is getting no feedback on his performance just because you think he's an insecure coward.

How the hell are guys supposed to get better in bed, a friggin' Learning Annex course?

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Um, no. The worst thing you can do is suffer through weeks, months and years of godawful sex because the guy you're with is getting no feedback on his performance just because you think he's an insecure coward.

How the hell are guys supposed to get better in bed, a friggin' Learning Annex course?


I'm thinking you can use some tact and try to send some helpful hints that doesn't make it seem like the guy sucks totally. Ego's a big thing to a lotta guys. I work with a group of men and they'd hate to learn thier prowess in bed was lame . I know one who'd most likely jump off a building if he had a woman say he sucked " bed wise ".

I forgot who said that men equate thier success in bed to what they achieve in life. It was funny.

[TheLyle]

Emma stop meeting people on the fucking internet. You understand that gay people in the past and sadly in the future have been lured out and beaten to death among other things. Let me introduce you to the concept of a singles or in your case gay bar. It’s a public place filled with lonely desperate people that want to engage in noncommittal sex. It’s not a place to meet someone if your interested in a relationship but I don’t think that’s what you are looking for.

The internet isn't a bad way to meet people, but you've really got to avoid the more cruisy sites. Find a personals site that asks interesting questions, so that there's a little more personality to it (I met my partner over at the folks who do the personals for Salon and Nerve). Try to find something that focuses on interesting personality, not looks and sexual preferances.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

A friend of mine has met a nice looking girl from New York over the net. One guy from where I worked at met a girl from WV and he moved here to attend College and those 2 have stayed togethor for the last 2 or 3 years.

Internet love is out there. Theres all kinds of date websites like eHarmony.com and Match.com out there. ;)

[Clement]

I have an ex that now does mainstream porn (like in the way you can go to your local video store and get a movie by the person, and NO, I'm not name dropping, honestly the whole thing is more than a bit embarrassing), but originally was a stripper.




No way am I letting this drop before we get a name :)

[K'Nort]

The discussion between Noah and SuperE makes it sound like going for the virgins or at least inexperienced is the way to go, because then they're open to suggestions/requests. Or at least more likely to be.

[Crowley]

The SuperE " Pitchin Woo" tips.


Do stroke his ego: Ok not all men will be Kevin Costner,Vin Diesel or Mathew M ( EdTV , Sahara star) . A man wants to hear his woman at least say he looks good. As men we love havin our ego stretched good. If we say you ladies look good 20 times a day , we'd like to hear it to.


Do Not complain: Ok usually when this happens us men set up the buffer zone. Its us noddin and agreeing. Secretly were pretty much saying " Ok if I can get us on the same page , its a step closer to more sex."

Also this buffer zone works when meeting your parents. By this time its a great act and with head noddin we add the lines: " Yes Ma'am , Yes Sir , and I really respect your daughter's feelings."


Do Not let us Admit we screwed up: Ok 9 outta 10 times were gonna mess something up. Thats our nature. But as the loyal woman like June Carter Cash ( Walk the Line) you pretty much accept the screw ups. Don't even say we did it. Because you'd hate to get somethin started in bed and have us stop mid action and ask: " Are you blaming me for screwing up your computer ?"

Do Massage our ego: Ok say you really didn't have an excellant bed romp. Please for all that is holy , don't tell us. Because to a man this is like the KISS of DEATH. You'll just make more problems.

Us men want to believe were Conan , John Holmes and Elvis all rolled into one bed wise. Once ya shatter that it screws with us. The image is 99% of us being STUDS in bed. You'd hate to be a man and have a girl say: " Honey you really need work there."

So lie to us. Admit were studs. Thats how it works. Now if ya have a Divorce and your angry...or have a bad breakup then say it. But for all that is holy...lie and do the nod thing that you had an awesome night in the sack.

Hopefully this helps you. Skipped over a lot in this thread.

I think this is incredibly wrong... the only way partners can learn how to please one another is through positive clear communication.

faking it... not the answer.

[Tommy]

I think this is incredibly wrong... the only way partners can learn how to please one another is through positive clear communication.

faking it... not the answer.
A guy can reasonably fake a dry orgasm. Women can only fake if you are not paying proper attention. (Well it is kind of hard to notice during intercourse but you should always be able to tell during oral.)

[SUPERECWFAN1]

The discussion between Noah and SuperE makes it sound like going for the virgins or at least inexperienced is the way to go, because then they're open to suggestions/requests. Or at least more likely to be.


LOL I'll say that my 1st post was maybe a bit stretching things for comedic sake. I do try to be funny.


But its really not an easy answer. Most men have thier bed ego's where they'll sit around and brag about thier prowess. I've worked with a few like that and some would literally take it hard if thier woman told em they weren't producing in the sack.

The 1st few times yeah I sucked...I admit it. But to a lotta guys they wanna think thier porn stars. I remember watching an episode on HBO where a female porn star talked about some guy tellin her: " You ask my girlfriend , I can f*ck like Peter North 24/7."

She pretty much found it funny because as she told him how long could he last. Did he have enough stamina to go for long periods ? He never answered.

For a lotta men its about thier ego's. Is it good or bad ? I'd like to think its open for debate personally. I remember watching an episode of " Yes , Dear " where the wife was afraid to tell her husband that he was startin to lack in the bedroom.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

I think this is incredibly wrong... the only way partners can learn how to please one another is through positive clear communication.

faking it... not the answer.


Ohh yeah that I will agree. I'm from that school that a couple needs to talk thru things. I was using the extreme comedic fun approach when looking at that article I posted.

To a lotta guys they'll subsribe to that thread. That thier egos are huge. I was also saying its not easy for a guy to hear: " Well ya need work there."

[SUPERECWFAN1]

A guy can reasonably fake a dry orgasm. Women can only fake if you are not paying proper attention. (Well it is kind of hard to notice during intercourse but you should always be able to tell during oral.)

LOL....I always loved that scene with Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal. ;)

[K'Nort]

Women can only fake if you are not paying proper attention. (Well it is kind of hard to notice during intercourse but you should always be able to tell during oral.)

How so?

.....

[bfrank]

I think this is incredibly wrong... the only way partners can learn how to please one another is through positive clear communication.

faking it... not the answer.

honestly, it sounds as if he's never had sex before....that "advice" is horrible....

[Corrina]

How so?

.....

The muscle spasms of an orgasm are very visible or so says my husband. Even if not, a partner should be able to feel them with their fingers.

Though the spasms can be done without orgasm, if you know how. It won't be as intense, however. A partner who knows the person well should be able to tell the difference.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

honestly, it sounds as if he's never had sex before....that "advice" is horrible....


Again that advice was for the extreme macho type whose egos are fragile. I've had sex and I admitted my short comings and I've had good talks with my partners about when things happen.

There are some that have huge ego's and it hurts them. That was more or less me using an extreme. I should have explained things better but sadly I didn't.

[Corrina]

You could look at it this way. If a woman says "we need to work on this," it means you're going to have sex again. Practice, practice. I know. Such a chore.

[SUPERECWFAN1]

You could look at it this way. If a woman says "we need to work on this," it means you're going to have sex again. Practice, practice. I know. Such a chore.


Heh....I actually had that happen with the 2nd or 3rd girl I was with. Its not like I complained at the time. ;)


I also wanna apologize to anyone I pissed off with that whole advice thing. I've worked around a lotta macho guys in the business im in. If you show that weakness it hurts . Sorry...

[Tommy]

How so?
When a woman orgasms her clitoris will pull back inside the clitoral hood due to the intense stimulation. If this doesn't happen she didn't orgasm.

[Crowley]

Ohh yeah that I will agree. I'm from that school that a couple needs to talk thru things. I was using the extreme comedic fun approach when looking at that article I posted.

To a lotta guys they'll subsribe to that thread. That thier egos are huge. I was also saying its not easy for a guy to hear: " Well ya need work there."
well that makes sense then...
I agree with 10% of that post.I think constructive criticism is key.

[Lester C.]

When a woman orgasms her clitoris will pull back inside the clitoral hood due to the intense stimulation. If this doesn't happen she didn't orgasm.

I did not know that. How could someone not interested in women know more about them then someone who obsesses over them?

[Tommy]

I did not know that. How could someone not interested in women know more about them then someone who obsesses over them?
I minored in human sexuality in collage.

[K'Nort]

When a woman orgasms her clitoris will pull back inside the clitoral hood due to the intense stimulation. If this doesn't happen she didn't orgasm.

Wacky.

That does assume enough light, of course. Which is why I never would have considered visual cues.

Genuinely interesting though.

[PatrickG]

When a woman orgasms her clitoris will pull back inside the clitoral hood due to the intense stimulation. If this doesn't happen she didn't orgasm.

Stupid virgin question.

It normally sticks out?

Okay... Never seen any XXX movies. Never looked at internet porn. This didn't come up in sex ed.

I just assumed it was insert tab A into slot B and try to make eachother happy.

Maybe with a little extra help beforehand but... ah... I'm kindof hoping that my first female partner is more experienced and okay with me asking directions.

[Jeff Brady]

Stupid virgin question.

It normally sticks out?

Okay... Never seen any XXX movies. Never looked at internet porn. This didn't come up in sex ed.

I just assumed it was insert tab A into slot B and try to make eachother happy.

Maybe with a little extra help beforehand but... ah... I'm kindof hoping that my first female partner is more experienced and okay with me asking directions.

As it becomes engorged with blood, the tip of the clitoris tends to poke out from the hood. Just like an uncircumcised penis, but smaller. Inserting tab A into slot B will be just fine for you, but for her...not so much. Angles need to be considered. I recommend checking out some instructional porn. Nina Hartley has quite a few. There's a shop called Toys in Babeland (google it, I'm not linking to be on the safe side of the rules) that can help out. A good partner will be happy that you're inquisitive of what gets her going, but she'll be happier if you have a general idea of what to do.

[WhiteRose]

A friend of mine has met a nice looking girl from New York over the net. One guy from where I worked at met a girl from WV and he moved here to attend College and those 2 have stayed togethor for the last 2 or 3 years.

Internet love is out there. Theres all kinds of date websites like eHarmony.com and Match.com out there.

Internet love IS out there. I met my girlfriend on a Women's personals site and we've been together awhile now. Meeting for the first time is always a little scary though, because you never know if you talking to them or to a 40 year-old guy who still lives with his mother.

But the sex side of things has always been fun. We were about as experianced as each other and it's pretty easy to learn what to do and what not to do if you're actually paying attention. Research doesn't hurt either :D

But that's pretty much the bones of it: PAY. ATTENTION. If you're not watching the road you will crash and burn. Talk to each other, let each other know what's working and what's not. I've also found taking a shower together afterwards can be very hot, and gives you that little bit more of a connection.

In conclusion, sex = Yay!

[SUPERECWFAN1]

Internet love IS out there. I met my girlfriend on a Women's personals site and we've been together awhile now. Meeting for the first time is always a little scary though, because you never know if you talking to them or to a 40 year-old guy who still lives with his mother.

But the sex side of things has always been fun. We were about as experianced as each other and it's pretty easy to learn what to do and what not to do if you're actually paying attention. Research doesn't hurt either :D

But that's pretty much the bones of it: PAY. ATTENTION. If you're not watching the road you will crash and burn. Talk to each other, let each other know what's working and what's not. I've also found taking a shower together afterwards can be very hot, and gives you that little bit more of a connection.

In conclusion, sex = Yay!


I asked "Mark " (thats a made up name to protect the innocent lol) how long the 2 talked and he told me almost a year. He was scared to move that far from home because he was gonna become a Lawyer and go to school there. He told me our towns pretty small and took getting used to.

But he did it for her. I gotta give the man props. Findin inetrnet love worked for " Mark".

[Noah Johnson]

I just assumed it was insert tab A into slot B and try to make eachother happy.

Maybe with a little extra help beforehand but... ah... I'm kindof hoping that my first female partner is more experienced and okay with me asking directions.
Yeah... believe me, "try to make each other happy" is not sufficient directions.

Okay, here, free gift to the virgin. First time you go down on a girl. Find her clit. (You will, of course, have researched and memorized the location of the clitoris well ahead of time. You're not an idiot, after all.) Wrap your lips around it, possibly while diddling her with a finger, possibly not. Now suck gently on her clit like it was a nipple, pulling it past the surface of your lips to around the level of your teeth. Now reverse suction and let it return to its previous position. Repeat this cycle at whatever speed works best for the lady. Ideally, your teeth should be parted at just the right width to be VERY gently flicking the edges of the lady's clitoris as you work it back and forth. Be careful with the teeth, though. You can, with good suction control, get this cycle up to a very rapid speed. I've never known this particular technique to fail.

[stealthwise]

Wow. These tips are getting kind of... graphic.

Not that I have anything against that, but I'd probably offer advice along the lines of "make sure your nails are trimmed."

Btw, make sure your nails are trimmed.

[bert]

Internet love IS out there. I met my girlfriend on a Women's personals site and we've been together awhile now. Meeting for the first time is always a little scary though, because you never know if you talking to them or to a 40 year-old guy who still lives with his mother.




yep. .

I met my Partner on the net too. . I responded to one of his postings on an "adult" site, tho I mentioned in the first email to him that I had no intention of having sex with him right away.

he emailed me back the next day, and Jan 23rd is two years.

:)

[Corrina]

Inserting tab A into slot B will be just fine for you, but for her...not so much. Angles need to be considered. I recommend checking out some instructional porn. Nina Hartley has quite a few. There's a shop called Toys in Babeland (google it, I'm not linking to be on the safe side of the rules) that can help out. A good partner will be happy that you're inquisitive of what gets her going, but she'll be happier if you have a general idea of what to do.

Also keep in mind that many women have a difficult time coming during regular sex. Most tend to orgasm during oral stimulation--and, actually, an orgasm during oral stimulation often lends to a second orgasm when you insert tab A into her slot B.

I have a friend who's mostly heterosexual but she's been with a woman. Her take is that heterosexual woman have it easy. "Men are simple, it's all hanging out. Women...my God, there's all that stuff down there. Yeesh."

[K'Nort]

yep. .

I met my Partner on the net too. . I responded to one of his postings on an "adult" site, tho I mentioned in the first email to him that I had no intention of having sex with him right away.

he emailed me back the next day, and Jan 23rd is two years.

I haven't ended up with a permanent relationship due to online dating, but I had pretty good luck with it. At least as much as any other method of meeting people.

[The Xenos]

Noah, huzaah! I figured clit sucking was a good idea. Never got to try it. I guess many guys don't want to do this as it seems too much like sucking on a guy's penis (or rahter the tip which has even more sensative nerves). Yet, you know what? They are analagous. Get the hell over it. If you really want to please the woman you love, get over your insecurity over sexuality and certain similarities of gender and gentialia, realize the basic biological facts and how never endings and stimulation works, and suck off your woman!

-Xenos

[Lester C.]

Also keep in mind that many women have a difficult time coming during regular sex. Most tend to orgasm during oral stimulation--and, actually, an orgasm during oral stimulation often lends to a second orgasm when you insert tab A into her slot B.

I have a friend who's mostly heterosexual but she's been with a woman. Her take is that heterosexual woman have it easy. "Men are simple, it's all hanging out. Women...my God, there's all that stuff down there. Yeesh."

Corrina if you are going to talk about sex in such a graphic manner for the love of god change your avatar back to Jim Gordon. I don’t know what it is but having an innocent wide eyed animated kid talk graphically about sex is making me nauseous.

[Corrina]

How do you know I don't look like this? :)

Hmm..maybe there's a bit of gray in my hair....

[YoGo]

If your woman's grip becomes akin to a boa constrictor, nails dig into your back like a lioness' and you find you can't breathe whilst at the same time your ears are being bombarded with barely stifled screams, heavy moans and gasps of pleasure, then it's likely she's not faking orgasm.

My back is still bleeding.

[Lester C.]

I think we are all losing over the fact that the point of this thread is to give Emma, a young gay male, advice on having good sex with a man. I don’t think he cares very much about heterosexual coupling but for what it worth it makes good reading.

[Lester C.]

My back is still bleeding.

Only because I shot you six times in the back reenact a famous bat death that occurred this week.

[CURSD BLADE]

So, yeah, X-Factor #1 kicked some ass huh...oh, this isn't a comic book forum? (Just Kidding)

I am 18 and married. My first time was earlier this year with my (then girlfriend) wife. Hopefully she will be first and last. As for you Emma, American gay culture has to be hard for sexual experiences, just remember it wont be horrid forever. Its all about experience and meeting Mr. Right.

So how cliched was that response.

[The Xenos]

I think we are all losing over the fact that the point of this thread is to give Emma, a young gay male, advice on having good sex with a man. I don’t think he cares very much about heterosexual coupling but for what it worth it makes good reading.

Well, dammit, with a name like that, at first I thought he was a chick.

Anyway, the best advise I can give is just find a nice guy. Ok, maybe a little bit naughty. Plus talk over what each of you like. Ease into some things and don't be afraid to ask for guidence for what they like. Men can ask for directions.

Really everyone's different. Find out what little things they like. Lord knows I never would have thought this simple thing with a girl's hand would have pleased this girl I was with if she hadn't asked me to do it. It seems I won mucho points in her book when suddenly I just did it without being asked while we were heating things up again much later. To be honest I don't really remember consciously remebering it, I just started doing it.

Really, that applies to looking for women and having sex with them too. That's my thinking. Correct me if it doesn't work for gay guys too.

-Xenos